51 Christian Friendly Words for Male Masturbation

  1. Demon whacking
  2. Choking the flesh weasle
  3. Forcing devil DNA
  4. Self milking
  5. Yanking the doodle’s dandy
  6. Flogging Hector
  7. One handed spear cleaning
  8. Drilling for white oil
  9. Taint tugging
  10. Kindling Satan’s wood
  11. The demonic stroke
  12. Polishing the muzzle
  13. Richard’s death choke
  14. Mother’s fear
  15. Non-fetal Abortion
  16. Angering the cream volcano
  17. Sin spanking
  18. Shaking hands with the false prophet
  19. Phantom fornication
  20. Cyclops puking
  21. Self raping
  22. Steven Erwin snake grab
  23. Clasping the tadpole torpedo
  24. Rubbing the venom vein
  25. Making Jesus cry
  26. Hasty hand groping
  27. Agitating the candy sacs
  28. Musky lumber jacking
  29. Fishing with Peter
  30. The silent sin
  31. Solo jousting
  32. Punching the elephant trunk
  33. Making heathen stew
  34. Polish pickle polish
  35. Smacking the Bishops sandwich
  36. Liberating the German soldier
  37. Bleeding the rooster
  38. Liquefying souls
  39. Wiggling the necromancer
  40. Marinating in sin sauce
  41. Making dead babies
  42. Painting with dark magic
  43. Sour cream wiggle
  44. Adding milk to your coffee
  45. Riding the subway solo
  46. Purging kid froth
  47. Playing with the finger puppet
  48. Vacuuming the do-dad
  49. Krazy glue shuffle
  50. Making a tablespoon of Holocaust
  51. Sending your mother oozy hate mail

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals
51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex
51 Christian Friendly Words for Breasts


14 thoughts on “51 Christian Friendly Words for Male Masturbation

  1. Stephenson Billings

    I look forward to the video companion to this list. I always find that young man pronouncing these phrases very helpful, as they can be a bit obscure. Maybe we can see some visual aids, like those employed in grade school health class.

    Personally, however, I must remind people that the Bible prohibits masturbation and addiction to this type of abuse can be a very serious health issue.

  2. NellieBVB

    Masturbation isn’t bad. If anyone happens to come across this website, and believes this, I am telling you that masturbation is fine. I wouldn’t listen to them because they think it’s rape, and it’s not.

  3. dani

    Doesnt god say thou shall not judge??and Arent we all supposed to be sinners, trying to find salvation? in the end no matter wat we do arent we supposed to go to heaven if weve lived our lives to the best of our abilities and accept god in our hearts?? Isnt god the only one to judge us because as his children he is the one we ask for forgiveness?? Im a college student with a logical brain i dont go to church but even i know this…….. I think people like this have psychological disorders.. its not normal to to be this much of a fanatic obsessing about masturbation and hommosexuals, that show signs of sexual trauma at a young age…… just sayin. Besides we were all created in gods image and the bible probably shouldnt be used a propaganda for a traumatized individual tryin to seek help

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  5. Zakk S

    50.Making a tablespoon of Holocaust

    Realy? the fucking word Holocaust means judgment by fire. It is a refrence to the bodies being cremated by the thousands. I find most of the propaganda you post to be funny, but this is crossing the line. If 6 million christains died instead of just the mabey hundreds of truley kind hearted christian priests who defended the jews, this would be seen as offencive. I hope you antisemetic assholes can one day see that your religion came directly from mine, and that you took all the things god told us to do to be good people, and changed them around to be more accessable, such as eating pork or looking down at others, or not respecting those killed in an infamous genicide.

  6. Pingback: 51 Christian Friendly Words for Testicles | ChristWire

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