51 Christian Friendly Words for Vagina


We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “vagina” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead.

  1. Puff Pillow
  2. Fish Cave
  3. Baby Door
  4. Eve’s Tunnel
  5. Satan’s Doorbell (Clitoral muscle)
  6. Reverse Blowhole
  7. Skin Wand Scarf
  8. Egg Crate
  9. Bullet Wound
  10. Sin Flower
  11. Moist Camel Hump
  12. Harpy Nest
  13. Canker Blossom
  14. Silk Barnacle
  15.  Flap Dragon
  16. Clapper Claw
  17. Birth Cavern
  18. Flesh Wrap
  19. DNA Catcher
  20. Frothy Creek
  21. Satan’s Trap
  22. Sin Muscle
  23. Folded Flesh Leaf
  24. Harpoon Target
  25. Slurpin’ Salmon
  26. Devil’s Fun Slide
  27. Ovary Hallway
  28. Whispering Eye
  29. Secret Fish Forest
  30. Cat in The Hat
  31. Sin Sliver
  32. Devil Sponge
  33. Baby Portal
  34. Warm Potato
  35. Snake Trap
  36. Blood Sewer
  37. Twaddle Dandy
  38. Magic Crepe
  39. Satan’s Rose Bud
  40. Clack-dish
  41. Neighbor of Anus
  42. Pink Jello Box
  43. Rank Weasel
  44. Stripped Monkey
  45. Front Business
  46. Man’s Gift
  47. Wizard Sleeve
  48. The Liquid Slip
  49. Fleshy Fault Line
  50. Pink Velveeta Shell
  51. The Pubic Pub

Please add your own in the comments below

76 thoughts on “51 Christian Friendly Words for Vagina

  1. Glaringly Obvious Man

    Amazing. Some of these are soooo much more disturbing than the unspoken word itself, but damn it. If it’s for Jesus, I’m in!

    Reply
        1. I, ExMachina, rise again on Hallows Day

          No, she’s fine. I definitely will use wizard sleeves: just to fuck with people.

          Reply
  2. Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vag

    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina
    Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina Vagina

    Reply
        1. Businessman Hank

          Oh, come off it L.N. Everybody knows you’re Claire, and that both of you are actually hardcore Christians.

          Reply
      1. Kawaii kunt.

        I made some super kawaii emotes.

        ( {} ) Standard vagina.

        ({}) Skinny vagina.

        ( {} ) Fat vagina.

        ( {{}} ) Many lipped vagina.

        ( | ) Virgin vagina.

        (=^ {} ^=) Vagina is a cat. Meow.

        ( )*( ) An ass, the gay vagina.

        (づ。{}。)づ Vagina wonders if it is kawaii.

        ( {} )ノ\( {} ) Vagina highfive.

        (ノ {} )ノ*:・゚✧ Vagina blowing kawaii queefs.

        (┛{} )┛彡┻━┻ Vagina flipping a table.

        ( {} )ノ やぁ~!Vagina says “Hi~!”

        ♪Happy(ノ {} )ノ┌iiii┐ヾ( {} ヾ)Birthday♪ Vaginas celebrate a brithday.

        ◢▆▅▄▃崩╰( {} )╯潰▃▄▅▇◣ Earthbending vagina.

        Reply
    1. Lord Mav

      Interesting. alot of things are interesting about the reaction to my first posting.

      Im glad you all are pro freedom of speech.

      Just so you all know, i believe in god, however i do not believe in censorship in any way shape or form. Since censorship is a man made idea that does not come from the lord himself, then i refuse to abide by such rules. He gave us mouths, ears eyes and everything we have so we can use them after all.

      in the end it all comes down to our personal preferences and that is all ok because he also gave us freedom of choice :3

      Reply
  3. Militant Negro

    Man I met this white girl with the tightest Secret Fish Forest I had ever seen the other day. I took her back to my place and tore that Birth Cavern up! When I was done she wanted me to eat her Rank Weasel. Thats when I kicked that nasty Twaddle Dandy out!

    Reply
          1. Militant Negro

            Come on September, why can’t we be homies? Don’t you have black people in North Dakota?
            Come to my hood some time and I will take you out for some fried chicken and waffles with some grape drank at Roscoes.

  4. Jess

    No disrespect for my theist friends, seriously. I don’t want to agitate anyone over their beliefs.

    That said, I personally believe we shouldn’t be afraid or feel sinful from the use of words, be they words of science or sexuality.

    There is nothing scary or irredeemable about the word vagina.

    Out of respect and admiration for the teachings of Jesus, the devotion and purpose of his children and the sense of all mature humanity I’d like to ask my fellow man to join a conversation more centered on why we create such fetishism out of reality.

    Really, as fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters, I understand the need to shelter children from vulgarity but certainly you can get why this should be left at the kid’s table.

    I speak not from arrogance (I hope) but from camaraderie.

    Let’s bury the hatchet (;)) and not let semantics gum up the works.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Danus

      “Let’s bury the hatchet (;)) and not let semantics gum up the works.”

      Why do you need to bring up hating Jewish people? Very rude. I dislike you Anti-Semitics.

      Reply
      1. L.N

        Semantics you fucking moron, not Semitics. Two vastly different things, and you’re one to talk about hating Jewish people.

        Reply
    2. Mandy

      I agree, God has blessed us with a human body yet we are ashamed of it? It is what it is, a vagina is a vagina and a penis is a penis. Using different words like these disassociate children from reality. I see alot of teenage christians getting pregnant and my only conclusion is they have been shelter far too much for far too long.

      Reply
  5. The atheist one

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Then you’ve never touched a:
    Puff Pillow
    Fish Cave
    Baby Door
    Eve’s Tunnel
    Satan’s Doorbell (Clitoral muscle)
    Reverse Blowhole
    Skin Wand Scarf
    Egg Crate
    Bullet Wound
    Sin Flower
    Moist Camel Hump
    Harpy Nest
    Canker Blossom
    Silk Barnacle
    Flap Dragon
    Clapper Claw
    Birth Cavern
    Flesh Wrap
    DNA Catcher
    Frothy Creek
    Satan’s Trap
    Sin Muscle
    Folded Flesh Leaf
    Harpoon Target
    Slurpin’ Salmon
    Devil’s Fun Slide
    Ovary Hallway
    Whispering Eye
    Secret Fish Forest
    Cat in The Hat
    Sin Sliver
    Devil Sponge
    Baby Portal
    Warm Potato
    Snake Trap
    Blood Sewer
    Twaddle Dandy
    Magic Crepe
    Satan’s Rose Bud
    Clack-dish
    Neighbor of Anus
    Pink Jello Box
    Rank Weasel
    Stripped Monkey
    Front Business
    Man’s Gift
    Wizard Sleeve
    The Liquid Slip
    Fleshy Fault Line
    Pink Velveeta Shell
    ORRRRRR The Pubic Pub

    Suck on that

    Reply
  6. Oklahoma

    VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA

    since when is the anatomically correct name for something bad? and the slang, PUSSY is admittedly a little crude, but seriously. Men have a PENIS. Women have VAGINA. Men insert PENIS into VAGINA, sometimes a baby pops out. Unfortunately, your dad put his PENIS in your mothers VAGINA and then you were born.

    Reply
    1. Acid Grin

      *Better
      *Stupidity
      *You
      *Said

      Please read a book, preferrably the Bible, since that’s where all useful knowledge comes from. And stop using sinful terms for puff pillows.

      Reply
  7. Rawnoceros

    Down here in Australia, we call it the Map of Tassie ie. Map of Tasmania (small v-shaped island to our south). Sometimes lewd youth shout things like “show us your map.”

    Moisty is also a term I have heard used.

    Reply
  8. valerie

    There isn’t a single one of these that doesn’t make me want to vomit.

    The person who compiled this list clearly hates and fears women.

    Reply
  9. Janina

    This “God” person supposedly created us, no?
    And he/she supposedly created the word Vagina for the woman parts.

    My question is, how the hell would he/she be “ashamed” of said word, that he/she supposedly created for the part.

    That’s just my point of view, though.

    Reply
  10. cara

    This is embarrassing for all women, Christian or not. Where’s the list of humiliating, degrading, sexist, derogatory substitutes for the word “penis”?

    Reply
  11. Rose

    Wow, way to keep up the sexism and body-shaming guys! Let’s just keep having XX-persons keep self-loathing because Christian ideals want us to view ladies as either “Madonnas” or “Eves”; good versus evil. If she is not a virgin goddess, then she is obviously a horrible, god-hating whore!

    And this is why we still cannot have nice things in this day and age.

    Reply
  12. Kerrie

    Just what is wrong with vagina anyway?

    These terms are degrading & humilating. I’d be interested to know where the corresponding list of alternative terms for penis is.

    Reply
  13. Nova

    Honestly, why are we living like this?
    “Christian Friendly” words for something
    that is a very key part of why every
    Christian is here on this earth. There
    is nothing sinful about the human body
    except for when some people choose to
    abuse it. (be it lust, or ext.)

    I dont believe in being afraid of words.

    It is called a vagina. And a man has a penis.

    Reply
  14. jesuslovedwarmpotatoes

    The tapping caused Jenny’s clitoris to become swollen forcing the hood of her labia to roll back and Alice fingertip touched the throbbing button and so delicately it had Jenny gasping for breath. Jenny hadn’t felt this way in years and as excitement grew more intense Alice pressure and speed became more demanding, it was hard to say if it was Alice efforts or Jenny’s response that was the cause of effect but when Jenny went into a climax Alice placed her mouth over Jenny’s hot puff pillow and sucked her juices from her.

    Alice then moved around on the bed until she was kneeling at right angles to Jenny’s body, she did that so that she could use her hands and mouth on Jenny’s body like she was playing a musical instrument. The things she did to Jenny’s flesh had her so stimulated she felt like ants were walking all over her flesh, when Alice again placed her head between her legs and kissed her baby portal she whimpered.

    Jenny used her right hand to feel the soft inner thigh of Alice right leg, the hand slowly worked its way up her thigh until her fingertips found the first whisps of pubic hair. They were moist and Jenny could not resist running her fingers through the tangled mat, then she withdrew her hand and brought her fingers under her nose so she could smell the odour of Alice egg crate, “Oh God,” she thought, “am I really doing this? Am I really going to suck this woman’s blood sewer…

    Alice was too lost in Jenny’s bullet wound to even notice what Jenny was doing, even if she had seen her smelling her moist fingers she would not have cared. She sought out the soft folds of the flap dragon with her tongue, relished the taste of the honey Jenny was making for her. Jenny felt the hand return to her own birth cavern and a finger probe between her swollen lips and was only mildly surprised when she felt another finger toying with her anus, she felt her muscles relax and the finger invade her brownhole, the hand fucked both holes at the same time and the thumb would bump into the clitoris and she felt herself approaching a climax.

    She stopped sucking on Jenny long enough to move her body so that she could straddle Jenny’s head and place her flesh wrap right over Jenny’s face. Even an inexperienced woman like Jenny knew what was expected of her. She opened her mouth in an act of acceptance and licked the wet and hairless opening. She felt a chill run through her body as her tongue invaded this dark and private place; she found it thrilling to be having oral sex with a woman she barely knew. Jenny threw herself into the act of cunnilingus on her new lover; she eagerly sucked and swallowed the secretions that flowed from within this woman knowing full well that Alice was doing the same to her.

    After they had both sucked and licked the other to a satisfying climax they cuddled next to each other and discussed the enjoyment they had given one another until they became aware that the rain had stopped.

    Reply
  15. abstractreality

    This was funny. But I feel that everything on that list is way more vulgar than the word vagina. “Vagina” is a technical term. A medical term. That is how I will teach my children. Not with silly “hoo hahs” and “fuzzies”. There is no need to censor a word that is technical, not vulgar. I am shocked to see this post on a “conservative” Christian website. Aren’t these degrading terms against your morals as Christians? To label a critical piece of the human population full of wonderful and divine creatures “sin”? You should be ashamed of yourself. And by the way… pussy. That is all.

    Reply
    1. RebelAshRunner

      AMEN! I will be teeaching my children that they have Penises and Vaginas, not “ding-dongs” and “donuts”. I mean, God gave us the names for these body parts. By being ashamed, afraid, and horrified by these names, you are basically saying you feel this way about the creator of the term, God, as well. You all should be ashamed if you can’t just say vagina and penis.
      On a final note, vagina and penis. That’s the name. It’s not shameful. Don’t act like it is.

      Reply
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