Dr. Jerome Wilson and Dr. Tyres Johnson celebrating their new discovery with their wives at their congratulatory party.

So-called “amazing news” has come to the Black American community according to Dr. Jerome Wilson and Dr. Tyres Johnson. Today both doctors have claimed they have created synthetic watermelon and both claim this scientific breakthrough is what the Black American community has been desperately been waiting for. This scientific venture was funded with over $4 million dollars by grant money given to the two doctors from Boost Mobile and Kool-Aid. Even President Obama has even acknowledge this oddly proclaimed discovery by awarding the doctors by clearing their criminal records and removing their child support responsibilities. When asked why they didn’t spend their time and money looking for the cure for Sickle Cell, a virus that affects many of their members in Black America, Dr. Johnson said:

“Cause a mo’ fo’ wif dah Sickle rather be finna wif a watermelon and be chillin’ instead of having Sickle and no melon.”