Battlefield 3 – Teaching Kids True American Patriotism!

What is Battlefield 3?
Nothing says “I love Jesus“, like killing terrorists and taking down glitter lipped homosexual sleeper cells that are trying to smear musky death and destruction across American’s virgin loins. “BF3″ even gives you even get the chance to take down some no good Canadian ice Mexicans, who are trying to smuggle their countries low moral standards over our boarders and infect our children with their gayness and weak will. In the game Battlefield 3, the player is submerged into a world of true American grit and tightly wraps the player with manly imagery of patriotism, anti-homosexuality and Christian-American values.

What is also great about this game, is that it takes those evil Japanese consoles and turns them into a learning hub for glorious American traditions and a center piece for family fun. Dad and son can co-op play missions and frag some nasty drug dealers in Mexico City, or you can blanket a homosexual training facility with mom’s air strike she just won for painting multiple head shots on the foreheads of international criminals. Brother and sister can team up and stab evil in the back with an assortment of Made in the USA blades. A family that protects America together, stays together.

Unlike the homo gay supporting company Blizzard, D.I.C.E. (Destroy Idiot Communists and Europeans), has built a franchise of games that fight that damage that homosexuals and liberals have digitally fornicated into the minds of our children. D.I.C.E. has made it their mission to develop games the strike fear into the hearts of non-American loving sinners and train our children with vital moral nutrition and teach them how to stand up to the world’s evils without fear. Yes, D.I.C.E. may have the most advanced graphics in their video games and the bloodshed is quite realistic, but remember it is the blood of America’s enemies and children need to see that they do bleed when they’ve had a their bodies pumped with a full magazine clip from a Mp5 at close range. Unlike games like Modern Warfare 3, BF3 doesn’t rely on “tea bagging” gay antics to sell copies, it uses American pride to push it’s sells.


43 thoughts on “Battlefield 3 – Teaching Kids True American Patriotism!

    1. Albert Toppers

      You said it, Nicholas! Finally a game that does NOT encourage homogays twiddling their twaddles with other same-sex twiddlers. God Bless you for this article, Pastor Tyson!

          1. L.N

            A world of difference, Clownboy, considering one of those things is made up, another is a redundant slur, and how God is supposed to be all-loving.

          2. Bronies4LYFE

            Albert, for you to realize this shit:
            Asexual: Somone who isnt attracted to anyone
            Homosexual: attracted to one of the same gender
            So, as you can fucking see

    2. Ad Hominem

      Nick! Hey BUDDY! Congrats! You just won a contest! You just got added to the list! THIS MEANS YOU ARE GOING TO DIE! Oh what fun! When I find you I will spill your blood all over the place. Who knows, maybe I’ll even do it by shoving a copy of Skyrim down your throat! How delicious! Well come to think of it, you don’t have to die. There is a post lying about somewhere about how to prevent the aforementioned death. Anyway, the clock is ticking.

        1. OddAtheist

          While I do love Battlefield 3 (I don’t agree with it turning gays straight though) RPGs are definately my favorite.

          Skyrim ForTheWin!

          1. Blood Wolf

            I think I’ll make a male nord and have him marry a male argonian, then it’s A Night To Remember. 😛

  1. August Weisz

    Thank you brother for this well researched article. I will make sure that this wonderful game does end up in many of our gift collection centers this year.


    So….Skyrim was kinda ok but this is teaching children how to become militant numbed down subordinates who will thrive on blowing stuff up with the mighty RPG?

    Yes its me again, but i get it now.I think.I hope.

  3. FredtheFailLord

    Ugh. Not really patriotism. For that you’ll want to look at ARMA 2. This is just CoD with better gameplay.

  4. Millenium

    so firts you need to Insult canadian in your pathetic article

    and second you said Battlefield is patriotism and Jesus love ? since when Jesus love is Killing other Human being around the world ???

    Oh wait The non american are no human so Only 300 Millions of Human lives on this earth ?

    1. OddAtheist

      “and second you said Battlefield is patriotism and Jesus love ? since when Jesus love is Killing other Human being around the world ???”

      Expressing “Jesus’ love” through killing was pretty much what the crusades were…

  5. OddAtheist

    “… takes those evil Japanese consoles and turns them into a learning hub for glorious American traditions…”

    The Sony PS3 and Microsoft XBOX 360 (Both consoles on which Battlefield 3 is on) are American consoles to start with.

    Also D.I.C.E actually stands for Design, Innovate, Communicate, and Entertain.

    “… imagery of patriotism, anti-homosexuality and Christian-American values.”

    Patriotism? Your right on that. Anti-homosexuality? There is no such thing in game. Christian American values? There not even a tone of religion to the game.

    “…doesn’t rely on “tea bagging” gay antics to sell copies, it uses American pride to push it’s sells.”

    Tea-bagging is at the decision of the player to do, you can still tea-bag your enemy in BF3

    1. Blood Wolf

      Bronies4LYFE is an asexual, meaning ” not sexualy attracted to anyone”

      I’m an female atheist and I’m pretty sure that I’m attracted to men.

      All I know is, is that nobody seems to be attracted to you.

  6. Bronies4LYFE

    I wrote some rap about Christ on barbed wire.

    ChristWire, your a bunch of fake fuckin fags, you deserve to be ragged on, your bullshit lies make me yawn, come on, you expect us to believe you?
    Yeah, I would expect to see an alien at a fucking zoo first. Your website is fucking cursed, it’s the worst, you should all just be reversed and shut down your
    site, because you people can’t see the white light, alright? Now how about you take your site and say good night, before I have to recite some more truth upon
    your group.

        1. Tyson Bowers III

          How can one say the support gays, yet use the word that the gays hate the most? Or is this another double standard by you liberals?

  7. Emile

    MW 3 and BF 3 are both very violent games. Both most likely are to have some F bombs in them. Both have lots of blood. This graphs are so just made up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    God does NOT hate gay people! He hates the sin! I mean hello he died for them!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. kyrejto

      you guys are retarded. we fight along side eachother and share the same common beliefs. Infact a large # of Canadians serve in the United States military, it’s pretty much an open door policy for canadians with prior service to jump across the border. And by the way, it’s a video game, its not actually like that. I’ve been in war and in direct action combat, I wouldn’t wish that onto our children ever. I’m proud of my country, even everything I’ve done in those dark times overseas, but there is nothing glorious or righteous about it.

  8. So what?

    Where atheism and Christianity meet. Today is glorious day. However….I’d rather not get into it. Thanks again chriswire for the laughs


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