Books to Burn if Found in Your Local Libraries

Libraries are being attacked by liberal homo gay warriors who are trying to mob your child’s underpants with vile juices of gay erotica. Below are a few examples of the demonic smut that has entered the rear ends of libraries and it is your job as Christian Americans to search your local book hub and burn any copies of these sinfully tantalizing items if found.














88 thoughts on “Books to Burn if Found in Your Local Libraries

  1. August Weisz

    I did not realize the gays had so many books. This many to burn will help reduce our dependency on foreign oil.

        1. Ex-atheist

          Except that the gays insist that homosexuality is a mental defect that they’re born with. Obviously their disorder would affect other parts of their mind as well.

          There’s a reason my community sticks the homosexual students in the special ed room.

          1. Jonny

            Could that “reason” be that your community is a backwards thinking homophobic community that believes everything they heard from a book? I think it could be that.

      1. Doug Diddle

        They ARE challenged in their literary abilities. God has purposely struck them so in order to separate them from his humble servants who wrote the very first book ever. The Bible. Just another OBVIOUS sign left by our Lord Jesus for his believers in their heaven blessed journey back to his loving bosom.

        A book by a gay sticks out like a sore thumb bathed in the fiery light of the glory of god to those who praise and honor him.(They always smell of sulfur too.)

  2. Evan Lazar

    Disgusting, I cant believe they made Superman into a crusader for NAMBLA.

    I also find the strange facial expression of the boy on the cover of “Whats In Me?” to be particularly disturbing. Lord only knows what unspeakable acts are taking place in,on,or around the lower half of his innocent little body.

    1. Jonny

      It is disgusting that your mind goes straight to thinking that Superman was made into a crusader for NAMBLA when you see that picture. It is clearly a very innocent comic cover showing Superman revealing that he and Clark Kent are the same person to a dying child. The child is crying because he doesn’t want to believe what he now knows, nothing more is happening.

      1. Ailing N. Lieph

        You also refuse to mention that Superman is literally disrobing, while the crying boy (who needs a hug,) is laying on his stomach, ready for his superhero to have his way with him.

  3. Blanche Beecham

    I’ve read the old tractor book and given a copy as a gift. It wasn’t as gay as one might think. In fact it had some good advice for women whose husbands spend too much time working on junk cars or old tractors.

    There are three more tractor books, “Love, Sex and Tractors” and “Everything I Know about Women I Learned from My Tractor” and the pivotal work, “Busted Tractors and Rusty Knuckles: Norwegian Torque Wrench Techniques and Other Fine Points of Tractor Restoration” – which isn’t as sexied up as one might think, but it did cause Mister to throw his back out last year.

    The author also wrote “Outhouses” which is a favorite of Uncle Luke. I’m pretty sure it isn’t gay fiction, because Uncle Luke is fairly literate.

    1. Jonny

      I know right? Even my friends, who can see the dirty side of almost anything, would have been able to see the innuendo in these books.

    1. Evan Lazar

      From most people I would assume this was a rhetorical question but after reading most of the historical “facts” you think you know I know I have to make an exception.

      It was Adolph Hitler.

          1. Evan Lazar

            No while I am still young, unlike the rest of you I am an adult. So dont talk to me about age as no child like yourself has any place to attempt to belittle someone because of their age.

            Get back to us if you graduate high school and spend a few years in the real world.

          2. Guy Fawkes

            Mister Lazar. Even with your age, you are still ignorant. You had better pray to
            your god he judges you mercifully for I shall not.

          3. Evan Lazar

            Since I have nothing to work with other than the staggering ignorance,stupidity, and immaturity of yours and the other childrens posts, as well as the admissions of the ass defiling homogay Fawkes Guys and Bat Girl that they are minors, I may have incorrectly deduced that you were a child.

            The fact that you may be an adult takes away any excuses you might have had for the sinful stupidity that exuded from every one of your posts.

          4. Chef Phillip

            Ha, you wouldn’t know what’s smart if it bit you on the ass. You are full of ignorance and stupidity that it’s very easy to see.

          5. Guy Fawkes

            So it took you that long to figure out that at one point in time I was a child. You’ve earned yourself a banana sticker

          6. Guy Fawkes

            BVB666HIM is a woman, my good sir and I am a man. So therefore that makes neither of us “Homogays.” Now I would like apologize to Chef for your rudeness.

          7. Evan Lazar

            Dont jump the gun there Fawks Guys, 17 is still a child mentally,physically, and spiritually.

            A fact you continue to prove with every one of your posts.

          8. BVB666HIM

            In the sate of Michigan 17 happens to be perfectly legal. And keep calling me Bat Girl, I could care less. I think of it as a complement really.

          9. Evan Lazar

            Unlike the immature heathens plaguing this board I dont feel the need to insult those I disagree with,

            I already told you that Bat Girl is what I use instead off BDSM66^^V or whatever your username is.

          10. BVB666HIM

            Actually you do try and insult me by calling me “Bat Girl”. And my username is completely easy to remember. BVB is Black Veil Brides, the three 6s are just numbers but you’d try and link it to Satan, and HIM is another band name.

            ~ With love, the Bishop of the Church of HIM.

          11. Evan Lazar

            I know what HIM is I used to listen to that crap wannabe Devil Music whenever I was a Skgayterfaggot in high school.

            666 is something underage kids put into their usernames on the internet and in videogaymes in order to make everyone else think that they are “badass” or “evil” edgy emosexual self mutilating hipsters. Those are the numbers of the Beast as Im sure you are well aware of, not very smart giving Satan a foothold in your life with such lame practices.

          12. BVB666HIM

            HIM isn’t a “crap wannabe Devils Music”. HIM is soulful and has deep meaning. It’s all about melancholy romance.

            I use 6s not because I’m underaged, think myself as badass, or evil. I use them cos the symbolize bad luck for most or death. I have a mass amount of bad luck in my life and have escaped death a few times, for that I am grateful to be alive.

            Also Lucifer isn’t as bad as everyone makes him out to be (that is if he’s even real, which I highly doubt). So please, for the love of God, leave me the fuck alone.

            ~ With tons of love, the Bishop of the Church of HIM, Crystal G. Nelson

          13. Evan Lazar

            If you want to be left alone you shouldnt come to this site of your own volition and spew your hate,we are all trying to have a discussion amongst Believers on the important issues of the day.

            You dont see any of us going on to and posting hate filled comments do you? Thats because unlike you people I am ok with the fact that other people dont agree with me and dont feel the need to go to their doorstep and scream about how they are evil,stupid,or hateful and expect not be called out for it.

          14. BVB666HIM

            I don’t spew hate, I spew facts thank you. I feel sad for the little sheeple, I was just like them in my ignorant youth… following the likes of Christianity.

            ~ With tons of love, the Bishop of the Church of HIM, Crystal G. Nelson

  4. OddAtheist

    I found this really insane book in the library, I think the title was “The Bible”. Should I go ahead and burn that too just to be safe?

      1. OddAtheist

        I don’t think the town of Hell is on fire right now…Oh you mean the fictional hell, you can’t go to a made up place

        1. Evan Lazar

          I just realized that shemale pony things dont go to hell, forgive me.

          Its not your fault God only gave you an animals level of intelligence and a complete lack of faith.

          1. Chef Phillip

            If he had an animal’s level of intelligence then he shouldn’t be able to type. You fail at logic.

          2. OddAtheist

            I’m a human and I’m a guy. Seems you’re just as crazy as the rest if you think I’m a pony.

            Pray tell though, if “shemale pony things” don’t go to hell, where exactly would they go?

          3. Evan Lazar

            Wait that thing is a male?

            I thought it said something about being a (big suprise!) somethingteen girl whining about its mom in one of the other articles.

          4. Guy Fawkes

            I swear to Celestia if you make Pinkie cry i will end your existance. I will destroy the matter you are made of. Like pinkie pie, I WILL DEFY LOGIC

          5. OddAtheist

            Where did you read that? I’ve never said anything About being a teen girl or even anything similar to that.

            Yes, I’m a guy. I’ve said this numerous times before but since you’re new here, let me say it again: I’m a guy.

          6. Evan Lazar

            Fawkes Guys youve been defying logic the entire night,Im well aware of your amazing talent for stupidity and ignorance.

          7. Antoine J. Hubner

            Gaybo you need to remove that mask, sperm is trickling from the mouth orifice, your face could need a good wash.

          8. Dragonman

            Gay gay gay gay gay. Can’t you come up with anything better Antoine? We all know you think you have a 5 mile long penis

          9. Antoine J. Hubner

            The only 3 miles penis around is that homemade dildo wedged up your sin hole and comming out of your ear.

          10. Jonny

            Ok Antoine,

            Your comeback doesn’t even make sense. Firstly, Dragonman said YOU think you had a 5 mile long penis not a 3 mile long one and that image you came up with is actually quite disturbing. Plus it also proves Dragonman’s point that the best you can come back with is to call people gay. Which is pathetic and betrays a lack of intelligence.

          1. Ex-atheist

            Evolution is completely based on faith, there’s no actual documentable evidence of a species evolving into another one.

            The Intelligent Design theory is much more grounded in the principles of fact and not a drug induced liberal travesty that professors preach to naive schoolchildren.

          2. Ex-atheist

            Viri aren’t living creatures though. So there is no “species” a subgroup of virus can evolve into.

          3. Jonny


            Evolution is not based on faith. There is in fact evidence to support it. There are a vast number of similarities between many different lifeforms that suggest a common ancestors. Plus people are breeding plants and animals all the time so they are better suited to a specific task. If that isn’t some proof that life changes to adapt to its environment then I don’t know what is.

            Intelligent Design is the theory that is based on faith alone. There is no way that something like that can ever be proven scientifically. You just have to believe it to be true you can’t prove it.

          4. Evan Lazar

            Viruses like AIDS are constantly changing so that they may continue to punish sexual deviants like gays and promiscuous she whores.

            Further proof of Intelligent Design.

          5. Jonny

            As for the whole thing about viruses being alive it is still a topic of debate on the subject with evidence to support both.

          6. Flutterpie

            Ok, a few points. Although I agree with you that Ex-atheist is clueless, a virus cannot reproduce without a host, do it is not technically alive (though that has nothing to do with their proof of evolution) However, a second example we people with an education of 8th grade or higher is what we like to call the fossil record. It’s a very interesting thing that shows historical progression of a species by their depth in the Earth.
            Cheers mate!

  5. Jonny

    I suspect that many of these books are fake and don’t exist. A few could be possibly be real, such as “The Day Amanda Came” and “Be Bold with Bananas” but they are obviously completely innocent books even by an extreme Christian morality standard. To find any of these books remotely sinful because they have an erotic nature would be a sign of a very dirty and in some cases immature mind. With exception of “The Penetrator” of course, that screams innuendo. Still, even that could be an innocently poor choice of title.

    Books shouldn’t be burned. Especially if they are library books don’t want to end up with a fine for destroying someone else’s property.

  6. BVB666HIM

    Also if I’m Batgirl, does that make Guy Robin?

    1. Evan Lazar

      Hardly, dying your hair black, scorching it with a straightener,dousing it in chemicals, and making yourself look like a zombie girl does not make you look like the actual Bat Woman, Bat Girl refers to the bloodsucking disgusting animal not the Sinful Liberal created sex Idol that Batman and Robin engage in unwed orgy sex with.

      While Robin does look rather queer with his little mask and skin tight homo suit that he got from a bondage store I dont think that can match Fawkes Guys extremely homo faggot with a sin stick in his sin hole facial expression avatar.

      That is a bit long winded but that describes it in perfect detail.

      1. BVB666HIM

        Hair is naturally dark, only straiten my hair cos it is really curly and poofy unless I do so. And by describing what I “look” like makes you look stupid cos you don’t really know how I look.

        And again, stop with this “I’m a good little Christian fag” like the rest of the members of Cult Wire. Your act is getting old big time.

        1. Evan Lazar

          I thought that man you use an avatar was you.

          I am not here for your entertainment, just because you dont agree with me does not mean I am a Sin soaked wretch like you so you can go ahead and stop asking me to “stop” serving God or whatever it is you intend.

          1. L. N.

            You seem to think that people who disagree with you are sinful, which means that we can call you the exact same thing. Indeed, you ARE sinful, Loser.

          2. Evan Lazar

            Is Loser a way of signing your posts or something?

            Ah I see, I thought the L.N. was for Lunatic Negro, obviously its Loser Negro or some such silly thing.

  7. Doug Diddle

    While these books certainly came from the Devil’s own print shop, I found a few more which we far more disgusting and wicked at the Little Rock Public Library Cox Creative Center, 120 River Market Avenue, Little Rock AK. ALL GOOD CHRISTIANS BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THESE TITLES. I snatched one of the books from the innocent hands of a 4th grader just in time.

    “Hardy Boys Case of Uncle Hanks Big Snake”

    “Cruising Daddy’s Highway”

    “Jack and Bill Play Slippery Whistles”


    “A Boy Scout Gets Fucked In The Ass”

  8. Not goth, just quiet

    HOW DARE YOU POST SOMETHING AS STUPID AS THIS!!!!! Its a coincidence!!!! And i don’t care what you say about me. And yo asshole in the front row (Tyson bowers) my friend whose gay is a GENIUS!! He makes all A’s and is in the honors classes. That was just mean what you said! What are you, 6!!!!???

  9. Ferals Shiny Cat

    While I acknowledge and appreciate that this is satire, book burning is one thing I have a hard time making light of. Given that I recognize a good third of these books (the “Stripping” book is an excellent quilting book for those just learning!) and other comments have noted recognition of several more, I worry that there are mindless zealots who may not recognize your humor for what it is. I fear that they may take your words at their seeming face value and destroy works that may be out of print or otherwise difficult to replace.


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