Category Archives: Health

LIFE Cereal Brings Nutrition To Blacks

LIFE cereal’s new ‘black friendly’ packaging. They are hoping the smiling faces will encourage black parents to use their food stamps on healthier breakfast choices.

LIFE cereal’s new ‘black friendly’ packaging. They are hoping the smiling faces will encourage black parents to use their food stamps on healthier breakfast choices.

It is sad knowing that 73% of African American children suffer from malnutrition in America and the common reason for that is that food stamps don’t cover health breakfast options for lower class households. Every morning Tyharmon or little Marisqka have to wake up knowing their bodies will only get 4% of its daily nutrition from the sugary slop invading their cereal bowls. Well that is about to change once LIFE cereal gets the green light from the FDA to offer food stamp friendly boxes of its healthy and hearty breakfast of body boosting nutrition. LIFE cereal even goes a step further and made sure their new welfare affordable product has a packaging that encourages black parents to pick up the box and bring it home to put smiles on their children’s faces.

Westboro Baptist Church’s New Target is Mensuration

rags

Westboro Baptisr Church member holds up his anti-mensuration sign in front of his house.

The infamous protest group known as Westboro Baptist Church has switched gears with its message. Normally they are campaigns against homosexual who disgrace their God by interlocking themselves in duel man love relationships and they fight hard trying to keep the gay away from public spaces. Their new message is to stop females from using mensuration pads, as they are said to be created by “Homo friendly companies and by bleeding onto these rags angers God and also for each drop of clotted blood that makes contact with these abortion pads make Satan chuckle with masturbatory pleasures“. The church claims wearing one of these feminine protectors is just as bad as having an abortion in “a back ally using a coat hanger” and women should instead bleed on themselves rather than “giving their souls to Satan”. Another odd belief is that they think these companies also go and collect used pads and send them off to science facilities to test out stem cell research. Gay talk show king, Aaron Heier says “I rather have them fighting over bloody vags than making gay people bloody”. When asked what should women use instead, The Church suggested wads of Bounty Paper Towels and Napkins. “Heck, they can sop up a quart of ketchup at a Sunday BBQ, I’m sure they can absorb a bloody egg” said on member.

What Pubic Hair Says About a Woman

The sexual area of a female is an area of musky clotting and secreting mystery, but did you know you can tell a lot about a female just by doing a quick inspection of her public lawn care? No, not the kind of lawn care that Juan and his three sons do on your two acre yard, but the type of care the modern women feels forced to do to keep up the false American beauty that liberal Hollywood rapingly injects into their feeble woman minds. Below is a list of the most common pubic hair practices that females do today. Each one can tell you if you have a whoring woman, a late night lesbian whorelet or a “clean cut” Christian crusader.


Triangle
The triangle is the international symbol for a fish cave worshiping whorelet who likes to perform licking mouth sex acts on another clam dabbling musky crack hunter. If you notice that your girlfriend or wife has started to trim this geometrical shape above her puff pillow, be sure that she is out late at night diving tongue first into a linguistic lust orgy with other women at some kind of leather BBW back ally pink party.


Strip
The strip or also known as a “landing strip” is exactly to mean what it is called. It is a runway for massive amounts of penile planes to come land inside the runway or moist and whorish sin. This symbol of open leggedness is becoming more and more common in college life and is highly promoted on internet torrent adult video sites. It is told that 7 out of 10 college females walk freely with their canker blossom decorated with a strip that beckons the friendship of multiple sin staffs.


Bald
When these women see the follicles of womanhood start growing, they rush to the bathroom to Venus razor shave them away. This hair style is purely to get rid of some type of lice or crustacean virus they contracted during a night of Satan nectar and copious amounts of devil DNA injection. These type of women are also to be said to flick their blood bulge 89% more often than regular masturbating female sinners. If your GF or wife has this mark they have a pubic sickness and have been throwing their neighbor of anus around frat parties like it is some kind of fleshy party favor. It has also been proven that women who go bald also partake in tainting their turd tunnels.


Initials
Women who cut initials into their downstairs hair are showing a sign of ownership of the person whose name starts with the letter carved into their blood sewer’s toupee. This is a act against God, as he is the only owner of the female’s baby hole. The female’s insides are for one thing and one thing only; to create life from God’s touch. It is not to be L.A. gangbanger styled tagged with a man or women’s ownership.


Full Eve
This is how women are suppose to be groomed, fully covered by God’s intended design. The design that Eve sported during her times in the Garden of Eden and even after she caused the world be sent into a whirlwind of sin, death, war, high taxes and liberalism. A man’s duty is to protect the woman’s mind, body and soul. This includes her pubic area. It is a man’s role to make sure his wife, girlfriend or sweetheart has the proper presentation of her body and that means while clothed and unclothed. Just like how you wouldn’t want your woman walking out of the house with he sin treats hanging out to temp other men with thoughts of demon whacking, you shouldn’t allow your woman to molest her sin cave with razors and tweezers like it is some kind of home and garden project or TLC.