Category Archives: Christwire Buzz
51 Christian Friendly Words for Vegan
- chlorophyll junkies
- meat denier
- soy muncher
- granola butcher
- leaf licker
- muff munching salad licker
- moss sucker
- 1,000 island addict
- ranch devotee
- cucumber loving whorelot
- diarrhea daddies
- fruity felchers
- reverse colon cleansers
- broccoli heads
- tofu tyrants
- soy sadists
- bossy buddhists
- skeleton face
- honey whores
- green hipster
- soy slut
- nut nibbler
- veggie violator
- pasta prostitute
- raper of ramen
- almond assassin
- kitchen nazi
- satanic pickle popper
- dim sum dumb dumb
- carrot hippy
- sniffer of satan’s salad bowl
- soft defecator
- dirty turnip twaddler
- sinfully marinated sugar plum fairy
- satan’s pansies
- wheat whacker
- devil daisies
- tofu taint
- granola gagger
- twig chomper
- nut pickin’ honey-coater
- homosexually perverse heretical harbinger of satan’s league of homosexuals
- sniffer of satan’s salad bowl
- dirt eater
- limp-wristed leaf eater
- broccoli bimbo
- green anal seeper
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals
51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex
51 Christian Friendly Words for Breasts
51 Christian Friendly Words for Male Masturbation
51 Christian Friendly Words for butthole
51 Christian Friendly Words for Female Masturbation
51 Christian Friendly Words for Testicles
Also view “Bryan Blake’s 51 Christian Friendly Phrases” videos
Gays Now Breeding Dogs with Penile Patterns.
Gays are now being seen breeding pups to walk around with The Mark of Penile on their backs to let other people know that they are the property of a homo gay. Below is an image proving this new fad of gayness it popping up in liberal parts of The United States. Be assured that in the near future, gays will be branding their Cuban imported babies with birthmarks in the shape of a twiddle rompus.
Pinterest – Wafting the Scent of Whoreness Under the Noses of Your Wives
Has your wife been spending a lot of time on The Internet lately? Has she all of a sudden started wearing items she ordered from stores on “etsy”? Does she now try and bake cupcakes or chicken enchilada soup? Does she frantically take photos on her cellphone when she is at the store? If so, your wife has been exposed to a high level of Internet whoreness, called “Pinterest.com“. Pinterest is a website devoted to turning obedient servant housewives into picture sharing prostitutes, who spend houses a day having fun with the girls, while you work hard to pay the house mortgage.
For hours a day, your wife is yucking it up with pools of whoring devil whores, who tickle her sin cravings with thoughts of deep sex climactic adventures. This type of activity is called “Pinning” and the more “Pinning” you do, the higher your slutness level is on this website of demonic orgasmic pleasure. “Pinning” is the equivalent of digitally “moist figuring” other members on the site, so be assured your wife has stuck her finger in multiple members by the time you arrive home from work. Also be warned, you wife is most likely dancing in the musky gayness side of Pinterest and making friendships will gay male users, who will tempt her with thoughts of leaving her kids and living a “Sex in the City” lifestyle.
Facts about Pinterest:
- Women who use Pinterest are more likely to give out mouth sex acts to large lines of men in back alleys.
- Women who use Pinterest try to trick their husbands into games of sexual rectal recon.
- The “P” in Pinterest, stands for penis.
- The average Pinterest user has been charged with child neglect, at least twice.
- Women who use Pinterest are guilty of sexually rubbing their Satan’s doorbell, while their husbands are at work.
- More than 80% of Pinterest users now fantasy about lesbian sex relations.
- 2 out of 3 Pinterest users have been fired from their jobs, do to “pinning” at work.
- Women who use Pinterest are more likely to invite sin snakes into their fecal cavern.
Look at all this sinful horseplay, no wonder men have reverted to violence, it is the only way to keep their wife from digitally whoring.
Examples of what your wife is exposed to on Pinterest:
Their sex driven homepage
Sex infused items
Introduction to whoring type books
Do it yourself “How To” abortion dolls
Alien sex toys
Gays Cross The Line. Now Ramming Penis Candy Down The Throats of Children
Just look at it, look at the marinated sin factory of homoness that the gays are forcing into the bellies of our children. The gays are jamming handfuls of sugar plummed anal sin down the throats of children around America with their new twaddle stick shaped candies. With these new candies the gays are training little Timmy to crave the musky man taint of the local gay who prowls around the school yard looking for a victim whose mother is late to pick them up. Gays can now sit back and fantasize about man boy love sin docking while they watch children slam back mouthfuls of twiddle rompus fruitiness. The gays can now also place their tainty rainbow brainwashing tarts into vending machines across the country and pray that Franky and the gang build a fancy to maul on fondling Freddy’s meat banana.
If you’re an Obama voting mongoloid, you might ask “What is wrong with kids buying 100 pieces of penile sugar?”. Well to you I say, how would you like your son being the local gay communities dungeon boy? Do you want you son to be the center piece of the local Pride Club’s interracial anal slam fest? I didn’t think so. Just like all liberals they “support” the gays, but would kill their child if they knew they baby boy had a knack for candy sac.
To those who support this type of activity, just know there is a stake and a tank full of gasoline with your name on it if you come into my neck of the woods.
Books to Burn if Found in Your Local Libraries
Libraries are being attacked by liberal homo gay warriors who are trying to mob your child’s underpants with vile juices of gay erotica. Below are a few examples of the demonic smut that has entered the rear ends of libraries and it is your job as Christian Americans to search your local book hub and burn any copies of these sinfully tantalizing items if found.
Gays Now Serving Pig Rectum at Your Child’s School
Every child in America should have a hearty meal served to them at lunch as long as their parents are God fearing tax payers. If they are from a linage of people who think coyoting their way over to our great nation, the only thing they should be served is a hot plate of welfare denial with a tasty side of deportation. Now back to the worthy children. Gays have tried to sneak their fecal and tainted scented hands into the pants of young boys since their invention and will go to extreme lengths to get a chance at swindling your son into a dark lifestyle of sin filled gayness.
The newest ass assassin scheme is to feed children rectum in hopes of making them desire the taste of a sin soaked male sewer hole. Just think about it, while you think your son is taking a bite of tatter tots of digging into a sloppy Joe, they are really lapping up a mouthful of gay like ruffy that will for sure tickle their souls to crave copious amounts of manly musk.
In the photo below you can see our reports have snapped a shot of a new shipment sent to Hover Middle School.
Derek and Romaine Try to Smear Christwire
Gay hosts, Derek and Romaine (Sirius XM outQ), try to smear the holy name of Christwire by having two of their homo callers call in and pretend to be the “founders” of Christwire.
Examples of Atheists, Gays and Liberals Ruining Your Child’s Year Book
Parents be warned! Liberals parents are using their children’s year books to push the homo gay and Atheist left winged agenda. Before purchasing this year’s year book, make sure to ask for a soft copy so that you can proof read it before purchase. It is also good to see how they place black students. If they are mashed up in the back of the book, that is a good sign of a high morally valued year book.
Man Marries Dead Girlfriend – Gay Marriage to Blame
We all warned you that if The Gays were allowed to marry that all Hell would break lose and people would start to marry random things. Well this past week a man married his dead girlfriend and was deemed legal. We can only imagine it is only a matter of weeks that sick gay NAMBLA members will be walking down the isle with their little boy lovers only to be shortly followed by homosexuals wanting to marry their mini poodles.
People always ask this question “What harm could gay marriage do?”, well just look at the photos below and you’ll have your answer. Can you believe the USA is now allowing zombie like marriages. Can you believe it is only a matter of time before marriage will be a contest of who can marry the most ridiculous thing? Lamp marriages, pony marriages, cardboard cutout marriages and maybe even gay ecstasy tripping unicorn marriages.
Females Now Enticing Men With Feathery Sex Treats
Just when we thought the threat of Vajazzling was over with, comes a new horror that threats the secret seed of your college boys. Now young girls are tempting young men with premarital sexual urges of dipping their sin snakes into a moisture basket of oozy sex nectar by decorating their pubic regions with brightly colored peacock feathers that draw demonic sexual attention directly at their open and willing secreting baby caverns.
Women want men to be on the lower totem pole with them, as we all know they are below man. Women use to be equal, but since that faithful day when Eve took a bite out of the serpent’s fruit God punished he by making her the servant of Man and because of this we know that the female’s nature is that of a whorelot and women have been on a rampage to de-seed confused young men with temptation of fish dipped sin treats by flaunting their milk sacs and cranker blossoms in the faces of America’s future leaders.
With this new threat being so “in your face”, it is only a matter of time that men on college campuses will have their candy sacs covered with colorful reminiscents from last night’s rompus with a feathery harpies sin slit whose intention is to derail the boy’s mind from studies to playing late night gags of the woman’s baby sewer. Boys will now come home to show their parents the results from a positive pregnant test, instead of a report card full of A’s.
Ghetto Blacks Now Using Barney to Spread Gangster Thug Ruckus
Just like the homo gays, blacks have been openly flamboyant with their propaganda materials lately and in the example below you will see they have taking children fun time and turned it into children crime time. In the video below you will see that a hardcore group of black music makers have hijacked the children’s show “Barney” to help spread their welfare disease and infest your children with low moral standards and hope to recruit them to their L.A. street gangs.
To show that the above clip is not some random fluke, please look at the video below. The Miami coked cained crew LMUFO has released a new video using homo gay 80’s propaganda cartoon, He-Man, to spread their sexy devil juices into the minds of young children.
Olivia Munn Spreads Her Marinated Sin Juices and Gets Whorishly Naked For PETA (Again)
Olivia Munn Spreads Her Marinated Sin Juices and Gets Whorishly Naked For PETA (Again)
Why Are Parents Letting Their Teens Attend the Coachella 2012 Pot Smoking Black Sodomy Orgy?
Children who attend Coachella 2012 will be exposed to forceful anal sex intrusion while sinfully high on hydraulic Pontiac chronic, supplied by chocolate skinned urban dope dealing assassins. This year’s ring leaders are no other than hipped hopped’s deadliest homicide duel and ghetto thug kingpins, Snoopy Dogg and Dr. Drea. These two gangstas are trying to dip their menthol marinated, mocha fingers into the panties of America’s youthful white women via pot smoke and potty mouth music beats and at the same time training your young boys into lowering their goals to become minimum wage working nobodies.
These two king blacks will be brainwashing your porcelain skinned babies with melodies of cannabis musk and welfare pornography. This year’s Coachella is allowing them to bring their thuggary streets to white America’s front porch and your children will be coaxed into becoming future $2 Compton hookers and pimps waiting on their street corners looking to partake in thievery and cracked coke caned slobbery.
Twitter hashtags will not be streaming typical hipster festival party talk, no, Twitter feeds will be tagged with graphic vulgarities like, #4shizzled, #luvmezsumpotz, #justhadbuttsecs, #westcoastSodomyFTW #Ihatebeingwhite and #Looking4sumHos. Pot is known to drive women into wanting to dip their feet into the world of Sodomy and Snoopy Dogg and Dr. Drea will be encouraging your young princesses to post thousands of bandwidths worth of Twitpic photos of themselves tampering with pot smoking anal orgies to their food line friends in hopes of scoring some free amateur demon whacking materials.
The beer gardens will not be filled with America’s favorite beverages, instead it will be flooded with Mad Dawg and Old English 40 ounce bottles. This is the devil nectar that blacks use to quince their thirst from a long days worth of pot smoking and sexual taint tickling.
Two things threaten America, pot smoking hipped hoppers who try to lurk inside your daughter’s baby doors and sodomy. Both are creeping their hands up Lady Liberty’s virgin thighs and we as guardians of our children’s future must stop festivals that promote lazy black drug smoking lifestyles and festivals that teach our children to have sodomy styled sex acts.
Before allowing your sweetheart to go off to Coachella, just remember do you want your daughter’s milky nutrition tanks fondled by thousands of strangers and have their fecal cavern trained by sweaty hipsters and nappy headed Harlem hobbits?
Halo Appears Over Mile High Stadium, God Shows His Support For Tim Tebow
The photo below was taken during the Broncos’ upset overtime victory against the Steelers. This displays God’s full support for Christian hero superstar, Tim Tebow!
Bryan Blake’s Guide to Common Teen Internet Sex Slang – #-B
Here is a list of terms that young people regularly use on cellphones, Facebook and other chat groups. Please be warned, this dictionary contains graphic terminology. See Christwire’s article, “Is My Child Having Sex?” for a complete guide to this issue.
7 Inspiring Billboards
Chisel Chested Shuan T is Trying to Turn Your Wife Into a Musk Craving Sin Whore
Who is Shaun T?
If there is one man in the world that you need to keep your wife away from, it would be former Hipped Hopped artist, Shaun T. Shaun T is a biracial man, which means he has the good looks of a white person and the athletic build of his sin colored skinned field working ancestors. Within a matter of minutes, Shuan T could use his iron sculpted ads, bugling bronze biceps of his marble sculpted chest to entice your wive’s baby hole, with ticklings of moist demonic orgasmic pleasures.
Due to his half blackness, Shuan T can’t fight the urges to lick his plump lips with the thoughts of causing sexual chaos in the pants of women and is on a mission to inject white women with fantasies of pelvic thrusting late night penile rendezvous and fill their heads with thoughts of leaving their husbands for a baby faced cabana boy. How is he doing this you might ask? The simple answer is by using his hot workout videos called “Insanity”.
What is Insanity?
Shaun T knows that a normal man wouldn’t think twice at looking at his wive’s workout videos, as we all know men scoff at such non-sense. But little do you know, right under your noses there is a pornographically violent weapon lurking in your house and creeping its sticky hands down the frontal sex part region of your wife. This workout video is not the normal ladies in jump suits who lift light weights and jog in place for 30 mins, no. Everyday you wife is spending 45 mins of heart pounding sex play while gazing into the softly glazed bedroom eyes of Shuan T, while he taunts their lady fleshy bullet wounds with tantalizing lustful stares.
How is He Turning Your Wife Into a Whorelet?
Or as I call it, labia sex rubbings, is a movement where Shaun T has his female users use their inner thighs to lightly rub up against their flap dragon to mimic the act of tickling their own tangy turtle shell. Shaun has the women only do this for about 1 minute, as he knows it takes 1 minute and 2 seconds for a woman to reach a climax via self touching. He teases the women into a frenzy of sinful pleasure, begging for more, while their moist camel humps sits their waiting to be slayed.
This move is a popular position in porno films. The bent over move leaves the woman helpless and allows the man to insert his sin snake into any hole (via her harpy nest or her mud goblet) he wishes with the least resistance from the woman. Shaun T is subliminally teaching your women to crave this type of naughty sex play and they will eventually seek out a sex partner who is willing to violate them in a way God did not intend.
Another sexual position that Shaun T is hammering into the minds of woman across America. This move teaches the woman how to handle multiple sex partners at once and have the flexibly and strength to handle such abuse. In this move she is able to hand out a mouth sex act, while she is being entered from behind by who knows how many partners. I don’t think man wants to know his wife is being taught how to be the “train” of the city.
We all know that black talk was created via the Devil’s tongue. And from that tongue, blacks are able to use mystical and necromatic phrases that have the ability to command the mind of a feeble woman and has ten times more power over the porcelain skinned house wife. Shaun T knows this and abuses it to trick women into thinking that after 60 days, they will be able to have a musky skin bed rumble with guys like him, as long as they learn all his sex moves.
How to Tell if Your Wife is Using Insanity
Mikey Cyrus Shows Off Her Marinated Sin Treats
When the name Miley Cyrus is mentioned, it should be no shock that the first thing that comes to mind is, “sinful pot smoking, double smut whorelet” and that is only because it is true. Maybe it is due to the fact that she is always getting caught doing one of two things; smoking the pots with liberal Hollywood kids, while laughing at starving African children, or flashing the public with her supple and plump milk nipples that are filled with devil venom.
The pics we are showing today are more proof that Miley’s main goal in life is to brainwash the masses of young males across the world to “forcefully attack penis” AKA “FAP” (This is underground B channel talk) themselves into a demonic state of orgasmic pleasure and become closer to Satan. Miley’s little pictorial sex tricks are causing young men to spend less time worrying about becoming Christian leaders and spending more time on becoming future Occupy Wall Streeters or even worse, interracial relationshipers.
These images are a nickel short of a black hipped hopped video where the girls shake their dump trucks for sexual attention. Now these types of violently sexicuted pictorials are leaving the ghetto and insertering themselves into the porclien faced households of upper-middle class America.
Long gone are the days of kids listening to Amy Grant in their Walkmans and snapping their hip fingers to a positive message. Now it is sinfully touching themselves while looking at orange bikinied devil whores, while listening to porn pop music from their gay created iPlayers.