Category Archives: News in Pictures

Westboro Baptist Church’s New Target is Mensuration

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Westboro Baptisr Church member holds up his anti-mensuration sign in front of his house.

The infamous protest group known as Westboro Baptist Church has switched gears with its message. Normally they are campaigns against homosexual who disgrace their God by interlocking themselves in duel man love relationships and they fight hard trying to keep the gay away from public spaces. Their new message is to stop females from using mensuration pads, as they are said to be created by “Homo friendly companies and by bleeding onto these rags angers God and also for each drop of clotted blood that makes contact with these abortion pads make Satan chuckle with masturbatory pleasures“. The church claims wearing one of these feminine protectors is just as bad as having an abortion in “a back ally using a coat hanger” and women should instead bleed on themselves rather than “giving their souls to Satan”. Another odd belief is that they think these companies also go and collect used pads and send them off to science facilities to test out stem cell research. Gay talk show king, Aaron Heier says “I rather have them fighting over bloody vags than making gay people bloody”. When asked what should women use instead, The Church suggested wads of Bounty Paper Towels and Napkins. “Heck, they can sop up a quart of ketchup at a Sunday BBQ, I’m sure they can absorb a bloody egg” said on member.

Gays Now Breeding Dogs with Penile Patterns.

Gays are now being seen breeding pups to walk around with The Mark of Penile on their backs to let other people know that they are the property of a homo gay. Below is an image proving this new fad of gayness it popping up in liberal parts of The United States. Be assured that in the near future, gays will be branding their Cuban imported babies with birthmarks in the shape of a twiddle rompus.

Books to Burn if Found in Your Local Libraries

Libraries are being attacked by liberal homo gay warriors who are trying to mob your child’s underpants with vile juices of gay erotica. Below are a few examples of the demonic smut that has entered the rear ends of libraries and it is your job as Christian Americans to search your local book hub and burn any copies of these sinfully tantalizing items if found.

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Kid Dies From Skyrim Marathon. Posted on His Facebook – Skyrim Marathon Sucide

Everyone laughed when I posted about how Skyrim is teaching our children homo erotic maneuvers and now that no one listened, not only are children hopscotching their souls to sin, they are now also in a new trend called “Skyrim Marathon Suicide”.

In the Facebook images obtained below from a gaming website called “geekologie.com”, we can see the sugar and carbohydrates binge one young man partakes in while playing Skyrim for 87 hours straight. You can see in the updates that his friends beg him to stop killing himself with oil saturated fats and lack of sleep, but the boy is to sucked into the game of demonic fornication and dragon masturbation.

If you child begs you to goto Costco and fill up on Doritos, Jolt Cola and high BMI causing treats, they might be planning a Skyrim Marathon Suicide.


This Is How You Advertise For A Safe Childhood

What happens when you make anti-drug PSAs about gaying? The below images are postcards for you to print out or use the html coding to post it on your Facebook and MySpace pages. The first step to removing gay, is to educate about gay. Together we can beat this sickness.

BEAT THE SPREAD, BY SPREADING KNOWLEDGE!

ATTENTION:
If you feel your child has dabbled in some gay, please contact your local church and schedule a counselling meeting. Most likely your child has been exposed via public school, video games or song and dance TV shows. Only your pastor or priest will know how to cure this demon that has enter your child’s soul.

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How to Properly Tip a Waiter

Money is the root of all evil and this darkness is very prevalent in the food industry. Food servers who are too lazy to make something of themselves expect you to give them money after you just spent your own hardworking dollar on a nice dinner for yourself. This is almost a form of begging, minus the tarnished hands and dark colored skin. So, instead of giving into the liberal suggestion of tipping a minimum wager 15% of your meal’s total cost, we have created something more valuable than the all mighty American dollar….a prayer for salvation.

In the image below you can see that we leave our money grubber a “$10 tip”. When they see it they will most likely start thinking about all the pots they can buy after work or maybe think that they can start saving up for some kind of demonic violent game like Assassin’s Creed or even Portal 2 for their XStations. When the dead beat quickly grabs for the money, he will notice that it isn’t cash and will start to inspect it. Once flipped over, they will notice that what they are holding in their hand is worth more than all the gold in Fort Knox. Here, we have given this waiter a pathway to Jesus’ heart and into the lead them down the trail of eternal salvation.

This is What Communism Looks Like

For all you up twinkle fingered Communists in Oakland and New York City, if you really want this country to go down the drain and turn into some kind of candy land of Heavenly Communism, please take a look at what the future holds. Below are 32 images of dirty, no good Commies and the filth and garbage they live in.

From guitar playing pigeons to lesbian hooker soccer teams, these images are full of warnings of why we must stop these hipster occupiers, or we will live in a land full of street walk cover dog sex and fat lady on the beach aerobics.

PLEASE REMOVE CHILDREN AND WOMEN OUT OF THE ROOM BEFORE VIEWING.

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Planned Parenthood and 16 and Pregnant Team up to Promote Teen Abortion

We all know that Planned Parenthood is funded by Socialist politicians and Communist foreigners and that the company itself sponsors orgy festivals like Coachella, Bonnaroo and Warped Tour. We even know they are the ones behind removing toys from Happy Meals, so they can ruin the dreams of children and turn them into depressed emosexuals and hipsters (these groups of people make up 96% of all abortion clients).

You see, while Planned Parenthood is vacuuming out life from a minor’s baby hole, they are also promoting tweenager sex at the same time. They know they need a steady stream of knocked up and ashamed kids to keep up with their month abortion quota. The more abortions they give, the more these outside companies pay them. Not to mention they love pleasing Satan with fetus sacrifices.

Planned Parenthood and Mtv sitcom, 16 and Pregnant, have teamed up to breed their next superstars. Planned Parenthood is forking over the cash to start a new “viral” campaign to get girls to submit their teen pregnancy photos to sites like imgur and tinypic. Once uploaded, the photos are shared across the Planned Parenthood network for voting. They already know 16 and Pregnant does its job to promote that being knocked up is “cool”, so they know there is a slew of girls just waiting to upload their naughty belly photos in hopes of being the next reality super moron. The girls with the most shocking photos will star on Mtv’s next project “16 and Aborting”. This new show will teach young girls that they can go out and have sassafrass tickle sex rubs, get on television, get paid and than void their belly of responsibly.

Here is proof of the chaos that is brewing on the internet. Girls are asking the world for tips on how to get the “coolest” pregnancy, so they can increase their chances of being cast on the TV series.

BELOW ARE ACTUAL SUBMISSIONS FROM HOPEFUL CAST MEMBERS. PLEASE REMOVE WOMEN AND MALE CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 21 OUT OF THE ROOM. IMAGERY OF EXPOSED LEGS, ARMS AND STOMACH REGIONS ARE SHOWN.

Very sickening and scary if you ask me. Notice that the Afro-saxon community is eating up this opportunity.

I think as American’s we should take the following image as an example of how we should be protecting our daughters from the vile suction cup of abortion.

Perfect Halloween Treats to Give to Kids This Year

If you’re like me, you hate seeing the neighborhood rugrats being pumped up with sugar and artery clogging candy each year. Instead of handing out sugary death pieces to kids, I always hand out help and wholesome items when kids knock on the Bowers doorbell. Below is a list of items I feel every household should be handing out at Halloween this year.

Liberals Want to Rewrite Disney Films

The liberal mind is sick and twisted. It is a Jello bowl consumed with homosexuality and Communism. Below is some artwork that is being proposed to Disney as rewrites of their most famous classics. Liberal Hollywood says they want to give the films an updated look, feel and story line.

Pornocchio

Meth-nocchio

Cinderella and Snow White’s Lesbian Fun Land of Clam Dabble

Prince DDF 

Occupy Wall Street Tramp

Adolf Hitler Was a Hipster

If hipsterism isn’t something we should worry about it in America, than why have archaeologists recently discovered a photo of Hitler fashioning himself in New York style hipster apparel? It seems that the hipstersexual movement has deep roots within the Nazi party and you can see this today by the OWS protesters trying to push their Socialism agenda. Hitler was able to rise to power via protests and it looks like history is repeating itself with these hippie hipstersexual scum. You can see the streets filled with hipster Nazis using force to get free schooling, credit cards, cars, Upper East Side apartments and lifetime supplies of American Spirits and PBR.

People say Jesus would feed the poor, this is true, but he would NOT do it by using the force of a Roman spear. So if you are a hipster, you clearly support the killing of all Jews and wish to paint the world with Fascism and have orgasmic urges just by the thought of the red communist Japanese rising up and bombing America.

Christwire Free Halloween Cards

As I was walking though the local Wal-Greens today, I couldn’t find any Holy Halloween cards to send out to the flock this year. I went and tried KMart, Wal-Mart, Target, Costco and every other store in my area and couldn’t find one Holy Spirit influenced card. I’m sure I’m one of millions of Christians looking for a joyous card to send during the dark pagan month to send Holy happiness via a 25 cent card, so I had our graphics department make some free Halloween cards for our religious readers.

free Halloween card