Christian Phrases with Bryan Blake – 51 Christian Friendly Phrases For “Female Masturbation”

In this episode, Bryan Blake gives you a list of Christian friendly phrases to use for the phrase “female masturbation”, instead of sounding like a whorelet with a sin filled heart.

11 thoughts on “Christian Phrases with Bryan Blake – 51 Christian Friendly Phrases For “Female Masturbation”

  1. August Weisz

    Masturbation is rape and is wrong. Videos like this will allow parents to be aware of these codes words for sin so they can look for them on their kid’s blogs and diaries. Just the thought of a attractive female pleasuring them self makes me ill.

    Reply
  2. Pebrocks The AntiChrist

    Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation Masturbation

    Man, so much sin here.

    Reply
  3. Blanche Beecham

    While I myself have never engaged in these activities, I imagine that anyone peeking behind the baby curtains or tipping the canoe would most likely cry afterwards in shame.

    I think this is the best video yet. I like the Brawny paper towel look, Bryan. Oftentimes I find myself swept away by the flannel image when I open a new roll of paper towels. Many women are uninformed to the fact that a soft scrub brush feels similar to the whiskery abrasion of a man’s beard on the thigh or that a common household pine cleaner can induce hallucinations of being ravaged deep in the forest by a lumberjack, the pine bark embossing the back flesh as he brings down his mighty axe over and over. This is why I use only Mr. Clean in a citrus scent and a sponge mop.

    We definitely need 51 phrases for what is medically referred to as ejaculate. Within the bounds of Christian marriage the name Mr. Beecham I have used has changed over time. When we were young and newly married it was ‘spoogee’ or ‘love juice’. Once we abandoned nude Saturdays and became more entrenched in marriage the phrase ‘noodle extract’ or ‘baby ranch dressing’ became popular. Now it just a ‘sheet stain’ or ‘pecker pudding’. I think 51 fresh terms would be very helpful to keeping our marriage healthy and on a Christian path.

    Kind regards,
    BB

    Reply
    1. Blood Wolf

      Blondie, shouldn’t you be back in the kitchen? Does your husband know your on the internet?

      I thought it was a sin in your ‘holy book’ for a women to speak her mind, as if you can think for yourself.

      Reply
    2. OddAtheist

      Her description of the lumberjack fantasy was…detailed…Really detailed…Almost over detailed. I know what she’s think of when she masturbates

      Reply