Our handbook will be released.
You can find our handbook in any Barnes and Nobles and 350 other book stores across the world. You can also download it to your Nook or Kindle instantly.
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A national media sensation, ChristWire.org takes righteousness beyond the bounds of reason. You can’t argue the truth. If God didn’t send tornadoes to warn blacks about rap music, who did? If your husband isn’t a closet gay, he must secretly be Chinese. Don’t send your son to college unless you want to expose him to the dangers of vajazzling. This is no joke, folks. ChristWire is here to save the world from falling into the hands of sanity.
“I’m the anti-ChristWire.” –Howard Stern
“It’s so good–and people on the Internet are so insane that no one gets it.” —Village Voice
“In the world of ChristWire. . .the recent increase of pet-on-pet rape is a pernicious consequence of same-sex marriage.” —New York Magazine
“The leading Internet site for ultraconservative Christian news, commentary, and weather reportage.” —The New York Times
“ChristWire’s genius (or evil) lies in its hypberbolic, worst-case scenario, Christian coverage of everything.” –Jezebel.com
A holy line is already forming outside the local Family Christian Book Store! And I can hear the gospel hymns from outside my house. This is truly a joyful day. Blessings on you all! I can not wait to jump into this book! I better hop in my Ford E-250 (Christmas Present!) and drive over to secure my place in line! Goodbye for now, friends! Honk, honk!
My dear friend Albert, I am so happy for you. Now you can drive 43 of your friends to church. I hope your generous friend had the forethought to mount your horn outside the window.
And not a single fuck was given that day.
LoL that line was from dick figures: y u so meme
A stylish book on a coffee table or tucked into a kitchen nook is an oftentimes overlooked focal point for today’s decorator.
This book is a perfect ambient piece that effortlessly combines a sense of literary scholarship and color harmony with an array of decor themes. In the boudoir, it melds with crisp cotton sheets. In the kitchen, the novel multi-colored fonts highlight fresh fruits and vegetables. A welcome hospitality for any guest room would be a library bound copy. The possibilities are endless!
$10 is way too much maybe if you pay me $20.
I would buy all the books just to burn them.
Guys this book is merely a joke they even said it in the description look at the end : saving the world from SANITY
I will have you know, I have done some disgusting things to bibles, burning is only the beginning…
forget this book: go to the source of this idiocy, burn a bible, today!
btw, Hi guys! I’m new to this community of religious extremists, idiots and pathetic children who believe in fairy-tales. I hope you will all make me feel welcome and make me lose faith in humanity. I am an atheist, a gamer and a linux user (but not necessarily at the same time). That is all.
I will buy several copies for my home and to give to both my friends and my foes. All hail Christwire, and long live this, the Greatest Site on the Interweb!
2) isn’t “all hail christwire” a little extreme and just proves the point that you religious types will worship anything?
Looks like ive found a second favorite book, after my bible that is
Well I posted one comment and it didn’t show up. So it’ll probably show up about a week later.
Hey, can this be bought in Canada? I find your site entertaining to read and I want to show the book to my friends.
Yes….visit this site to find a store near you: http://www.christwirebook.com/
Doesn’t seem that Chapters or Indigo is selling those. Guess the next time I go to America with my parents for grocery shopping, I will be checking Target and Wal-Mart. Can’t wait to read the book.
Best thing is to just order online and have it shipped to you.
I just got it on Kobo (ebook store) Just read the sample!
I am going to the SM Barnes and Noble to buy several hardback copies and hopefully will make it to the book signing as well! Excited for you guys!
The SM Barnes and Noble? Is that the Sadomasochist Barnes and Noble? You pervert.
Santa Monica, yokel. You should travel more and if you want, I’ll buy you a plane ticket out to LA and you can crash at my place. Sound good?
Instead of crashing at your place, I think I’ll crash THE PLANE INTO your place. Sound good?
Oh and what the fuck do you mean by “yokel”? I’m from Boston, you fucking moron. You know Boston, one of the oldest cities in the fucking country?
Great News, I am sure God already bought one.
Why would he buy one? Isn’t it just stuff he already said so your selling his own word back to him for profit? if thats not a sin idk what is then again that might have been removed from the new 2012 bible.
This is excellent news! It will make for great gifts to my family and friends (a number of whom have birthdays coming soon).
I too hope to be able to make it to the nearest book signing!
Thank you for all your hard work!
Someone moved all the copies away from the Religion and Spirituality Section to the humor section at my local Barnes and Nobells. Don’t stores have security cameras that can keep these liberal heathen punks from perpetrating unchecked mayhem?
You know, maybe the store owners did it because after they read it they realized that it belonged in the humor section?
Yes, emosexuals are going to BN stores and moving them around.
Why you post so much photoshot shit Albert?
Has it occured to anyone that this pic was obviously staged? You put that there to anger a homosexual. You are a thuroughly horrible person, did you know that?
Anger is a small price to pay to stave off eternal damnation. Have you read my thesis, “Nuke to Save?”
Atheism is a small price to stave off eternal stupidity. I refuse to continue this conversation until you get a linux and stop being an extremist. nd if you want me to read the thesis, send me a link or something. I will print it out and burn every page after it is read.
In resumee he wnat to nuke china for no reason
See the atheists do little cutsie stuff like this, then get all angry and confused as to why they will be burning in hell for all time.
proving a point about religion by referencing hell?
how do you tell who praised your comment?
Satan praised your comment.
Nope, I don’t see anything that doesn’t belong in that picture, Albert.
I just bought 5 copies! This is great stuff and I cannot wait to read them and give some out as late Christmas gifts! Kudos, friends!
My copy is currently within the socialist postal system in route to my dwelling. I can’t wait to have in my hands ammunition in the crusade against sin.
so the Postal system is socialist now police too your armya s well firefighter ??
everything in your country ?
you are simply stupid
If you’re just going to bitch about the postal system don’t use it, you dumb boner.
This may be disturbing, but when I read the sample of the ChristWire Handbook, they put your name in the dedication.