PRIDE Week; for those who don’t follow homosexual propaganda and are not viewers of MSNBC, is a week long celebration of confused American’s choice of submitting themselves to the tragic and lonely lifestyle of that of a homosexual. The lifestyle itself has 51 shades of sickness in its complexity and why people choose to walk down this path of darkness, narcissism and self hatred is beyond me. Just like any fad, the homosexual life style is at its peak, but will soon burst its rainbow colored assortment of frail balloons and float slowly to the streets where it will be swept away into the gutters of America.
For a whole week, the government and American’s pretend to accept millions of drug induced Cher fans, who rather spend their days day-dreaming about copious amounts of unprotected sex, glamorous interracial lifestyles and frantically watch their DVR’d BRAVO shows while sipping cosmos or some kind of low calorie non-American made beer. To expose what really goes on at a PRIDE Week celebration for those unaware of its dangers, I have listed three underground gay phenomenons that fuel the week of gay infused festivities.
Gaytheists and Twinksters
These are two sub genres of gayness that have recently oozed from the dark musky cracks of the homosexual community and have been making quite a stir in social circles around the world. A Gaytheist is a bottom burrower who believes Jesus Christ was a homosexual and they group up in protest packs and try to force their asinine belief onto young children, just like how they forcefully and uncomfortably push their lifestyle choice onto America. They have even tried to petition The Vatican to agree that Jesus himself partook in gay orgy like activities with his disciples in the desert.
A Twinksters is a homosexual hipster and you can see handfuls of these stuck in the 80′s limp wristers trying to preach their liberal art degree’d minds amongst the straight attendees at PRIDE Week. Quoting movies to validate their ridiculous arguments is the typical modus operandi for these trucker cap wearing mumble anus’.
Borderline Overdoses of Rectal Drug Intake
You can’t spell PRIDE Week without the words “Drugs” and “Rectal Insertion” and be sure the drugs are delivered by the bus full directly from Mexico. It has been said that over 80,000 drugs are taken per day at PRIDE Week and 96% of those drugs are taken rectally. This is because the gay’s anal cavity has the ability to ingest large pill form objects fast than their mouth, but the speed of this process depends on whether they are a power bottom, bottom, top or verse.
Kid Photo Swapping Games
Just like Pokemon, gays need to collect as many young children as possible, but since that is illegal, they do it in a form of a card game. The game is just like the popular Majik game; players bring their deck of cards and battle each other to win new cards from their opponents. Instead of attack cards with vampires or some squirrel with lightning powers, these cards are images of children they find on the internet, print them out onto card stock and they mark the cards with what are called urge points. The urge points signify how “hot” or “how much one wants to poke the child” and each rating is verified and approved by their friends over at NAMBLA. The game is easy, players drop down their cards and the one with the highest urge points wins the hand. After winning the hand, the winner can go and pick one card that tickles their musky taint area the most out of the winning pile and add it to their deck.