Dr. Seuss Releases Book About Demon Whacking and Pre-martial Sex Docking

Leave it up to a Communist to write a children’s book on how to teach boys to tickle their twaddle tallies and show girls how to flipper their fish cave. In Dr. Seuss’ latest book, he does just that and not only does he talk about self raping, he also instills sexual ideas inside children in hopes that they will go out and experiment sexually with the nasty sectors  of their bodies.

Below is a some pages of this book and you will see it is marinated in sin. You will see it talks about self M-ing, sex play and even the sinful act of read entry sin docking.

PLEASE REMOVE CHILDREN AND WOMEN OUT OF THE ROOM BEFORE VIEWING THE IMAGES BELOW.

 

 

72 thoughts on “Dr. Seuss Releases Book About Demon Whacking and Pre-martial Sex Docking

  1. Ren Fenwitz

    Really? Dr. Seuss wouldn’t write that. There’s no silly words, no plot, and it’s too graphic for him. Oh, and did you know…

    DR SEUSS DIED IN 1991, YOU TWATS. There, I said my piece.

    Reply
      1. Ren Fenwitz

        Tyson, any fool with Microsoft Paint could have made this. And Seuss is dead, that is a fact. Dead twenty years now. Prove to me he wrote this, if you’re so sure of yourself.

        “Typical vampire dyke.” How many do you know, then?

        Reply
        1. Tyson Bowers III

          So since he is dead, the Dr Suess company can’t write books? Does this mean Apple will no longer make products because Steve Jobs iDied?

          Reply
          1. Ren Fenwitz

            Fair point, I’ll give you that, but you needn’t sully his name by claiming he himself wrote this. Besides, the rhythm of the rhymes that the liar wrote do not match Seuss’. I took a class on him in high school (a Christian high school, mind you), and we went in detail on the time and rhythm of his prose. Your move.

          2. Tyson Bowers III

            My move? No more moves to make spiky. You admitted you are wrong. You were wrong when you woke up on the lesbian side of the bed today. What makes you think the rest of the day will go any better?

          3. Tyson Bowers III

            We are booked to be on The Ellen show in January and I will let her know your breed of vampire dyke likes to bully old men on the internet.

          4. Ren Fenwitz

            I was only wrong in saying that his publishing company can’t write more books. I was right in saying that Dr. Seuss did not write this piece of trash. I can only assume, since you wrote the article and so vehemently defend it, that you did.

            And actually, my day is going pretty great, thank you. I’m spending it with my grandparents, making breakfast for them and later my grandmother and I are going grocery shopping.

            I don’t usually watch Ellen (mostly because I can’t afford cable at the moment), but should she allow you on her show, I’d love to watch that one. You do know she’s gay, right? And happily married to a lovely woman?

          5. Tyson Bowers III

            Well she called us and booked us. Shows you that she knows who the dominate power is. Maybe if you looked like a normal human, a nice company who pays well would hire you.

          6. Ren Fenwitz

            I may not be a rich person, I may like to dress like a “vampire dyke” (I love the label, by the way. Thanks, guy :)), but you know what? At least I have a clue about the world around me. For the sake of argument, let’s say I’m faced with a gunman. I could 1) pray fervently to God that the man doesn’t pull the trigger, or I could 2) use what I know about humanity and the world around me to get myself out of the situation. Like talk the man into relaxing and letting me go. Easier and far more practical than the first. But I’m not here to argue religion (I happen to believe in God).

            As for a job, yes, I have one. I have a nice job, but I don’t want to waste my paycheck on cable. I don’t watch much TV because it’s useless. I like the internet since it lets me connect to my friends that I couldn’t otherwise talk to, AND I can check the news. Not to mention get a laugh via here.

          7. Ren Fenwitz

            Edits of the same book. It’s like a millennia-long English class with a teacher who’s never satisfied.

      1. Claire

        Technically kids, even babies, are capable of masturbation to orgasm, just not ejaculation until they hit puberty in the case of males. It’s not uncommon for first time parents to tell their pediatrician at their kid’s six month checkup that they’re concerned because he’s been touching himself and actually developing erections. The truth is it’s perfectly normal and they don’t even know what they’re doing. The penis has nerve endings from birth so all the baby knows is that he’s doing something that feels good. The same goes for girls who are capable of vaginal lubrication and self-stimulation from birth. The only part of this that’s disturbing is that somebody actually looked closely enough at a baby girl’s genitals to determine this. Sure, with a baby boy it’s blatantly obvious that he has an erection, but somebody actually taking the time to examine a baby girl’s vagina has got to be a pedophile, or at least borderline.

        Reply
          1. Claire

            You won’t be belittling CNAs when you’re in the hospital, stricken with C. difficile, lying in a pool of your own liquid feces because none of the CNAs have gotten to your room yet to change your bed pad and wipe your ass.

        1. Ren Fenwitz

          I learned something just now. Thanks for correcting me Claire. I seriously had no clue. You’re right in that it’s bizarre how people would know that about girls, but perhaps if a little girl said something to her mom, the mom would mention it to the doctor, and it would go from there.

          Reply
  2. Blanche Beecham

    The Dr. Seuss books are ridiculous amalgams used to fill empty skull cavities. They fail to nourish the soul or give lift to dreams of possibility. They should be banned for the unabashed sexuality and no-no place illustrations. I am starting an effort to place “No-No” stickers on these books offered to children so parents can visit their local libraries and sticker the Grinch’s congenitals. We cannot allow illustrations of pant-less older men flaunted to our daughters.

    Reply
    1. Ren Fenwitz

      The grinch does not have genitals. He’s genderless, in the physical sense. And the Dr. Seuss books were meant as a way to open children’s imaginations and realize that they can be whoever they want to be and do whatever they want to do. Re: “Oh the Places You’ll Go.”

      Proof of the Grinch bit:
      [img]http://www.misfittoys.net/tvtime/grinch/grinch2.jpg[/img]
      See? No genitals.

      Reply
        1. Ren Fenwitz

          Yes, I do identify as genderless. Born a female, I love a woman, yet I also identify as a gay man. (I believe my condition is known as multiple personality.)

          Reply
      1. Blanche Beecham

        As one can plainly see from the digital image you provided, he has no pants. In the hard cover copy of the book, this is a ‘pop up’ page and the congenitals will put out an eye if the reader isn’t careful. This is not true for the soft cover and kindle versions, but only liberals use those.

        Clearly you are not a parent that reads to their children or you would know this. Stop pretending to be something you are not. As we say in the fellowship, “Liars go to hell”. You wouldn’t understand that, being Jewish and all.

        Reply
        1. Damien Blade Spring, Jew

          Um…congenitals is not the word you were looking for. The word is genitals.

          con·gen·i·tal [kuhn-jen-i-tl]
          adjective
          1. of or pertaining to a condition present at birth, whether inherited or caused by the environment, especially the uterine environment.
          2. having by nature a specified character: a congenital fool.

          Second, I am pretty sure, actually I am certain, that there is not one copy of Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” that is a pop-up book. Additionally, he has no genitalia. End of story.

          Third, I am pretty sure Ren is not Jewish. Just saying. And, since you break the 9th commandment all the time, I am sure that you know that you are going to Hell yourself.

          And trust me, using my religion against me is the worst idea ever. I know it better than you do.

          Reply
          1. Blanche Beecham

            Pishaw! Look at that picture! He’s Jewish! I’ve discussed this with our interfaith Torahists group and Ira agrees with me.

            As far as Ren having no congenitals, I think you both should know that Christwire isn’t one of your dandy hookup sites for your home sexual love activities.

          2. Damien Blade Spring, Jew

            Um, no, Blanche, she’s not. And, there is no such thing as a Torahist. There is such thing as a Torah Scholar, but torahist is not a word.

            And, once again, you mean genitals.

            Here is the definition, once again for congenital:
            con·gen·i·tal [kuhn-jen-i-tl]
            adjective
            1. of or pertaining to a condition present at birth, whether inherited or caused by the environment, especially the uterine environment.
            2. having by nature a specified character: a congenital fool.

            And here is the definition of genitalia:
            gen·i·ta·li·a
               [jen-i-tey-lee-uh, -teyl-yuh] Show IPA
            plural noun Anatomy .
            the organs of reproduction, especially the external organs.

            I never said anything about her not having genitalia. And, not that she isn’t a lovely looking girl, but I am in a loving relationship with my girlfriend and we would both appreciate it if you would stop trying to play matchmaker on here.

          3. Ren Fenwitz

            I’m not looking for a date. The only “congenital” I have is a predetermination for diabetes due to genetics dating back to my grandparents. And I’m no more Jewish than the Pope.

          4. Damien Blade Spring, Jew

            And, since all Christians stem from Judaism, you’re all Jewish anyway. So, I guess Blanche is correct that you’re Jewish. Well, at least in the sense that Jesus was a Jew, and then all the followers of Jesus went over to Christianity.

          5. Ren Fenwitz

            Ah, fair point Damien. But considering that I no longer call myself Christian, would I still be “Jewish”?

          6. Damien Blade Spring, Jew

            According to the Jewish religion, once you are Jewish, you are always Jewish. Even if you convert from the faith, you will always be Jewish.

            However, since your mother probably isn’t Jewish, then you are technically not Jewish. Unless you can trace it back, it’s a pretty safe bet that you are not Jewish.

          7. Ren Fenwitz

            The only people in my family who are truly Jewish is a non-blood related aunt. My mother and grandparents are Christian, though.

        2. Ren Fenwitz

          I’m not Jewish. Fenwitz is an alias. And I’m not a mother, not yet. I greatly wish I was, but I’m not yet. Can’t afford it. I never said I was, so I don’t know why you think I’m lying.

          Reply
  3. Damien Blade Spring, Jew

    Hmmmm…so, please, give me a title to this book if you will. If you don’t, I wont care, it will only prove to me you fail. So, please, Mr. Tyson, stop spewing your filth. It is corrupting the young, and killing your faith.

    Reply
    1. Blanche Beecham

      Hey Claire, meant to ask if you had a job lined up for after ‘college’. You’re so smart and talented with animals I was hoping that you would find something.

      Reply
      1. Claire

        “You’re so smart”

        Would you make up your mind, skank? Just last night you “outed” me as an idiot: “Can she really understand what you’re saying? Unless you start barking or peeing on the comforter, I really don’t think Claire has any practical knowledge of communication.”

        Reply
        1. Blanche Beecham

          I never called you an idiot. Certainly didn’t last night, anyway. I think everything I said was praise for your ability to listen and communicate gentle strength to animals. As a vet tech I thought you would appreciate these talents. Engineers like August speak a different language than vet techs. I think my comment was last night focused on this as well. My intent was to step in before a misunderstanding could occur between two very thoughtful contributors to the fellowship.

          Reply
          1. Claire

            So saying that someone can’t understand the written language and only understands barking and urinating is somehow not implying that said person is an idiot? Hmm, yeah, sorry Blanche, but you’re not going to be able to dig yourself out of this one, you old skank.

    1. Albert Toppers

      Dr. Seuss is dead you said? “God never existed!” the Doc would yell, but he had it twisted, because he’s BURNING IN HELL.

      Reply
      1. NellieBVB

        Sad Sad Clown
        With a pedophiles frown
        All of the children left town
        The clown’s been feeling down
        Oh poor sad sad clown

        That is how you rhyme.

        Reply
        1. Ren Fenwitz

          That actually seems a bit closer to Seussian. Don’t know if you were trying or not, but that’s how it came across.

          Reply
  4. Ordinary Catholic

    Goodness you people are whiny. I understand that even if Dr. Suess himself is deceased the book could have still been published by the company. What bothers me is the people who complain about it. The people are free to put whatever literature they like out there. If mankind wishes to be sinful, then maybe they never had a place alongside God in the first place. As for children, is it not the responsibility of the parents/guardians to make sure smut doesn’t taint they’re young and vulnerable minds? Until they reach the right age at which it becomes their duty to keep themselves clean, it is up to us the elders to keep the safe and pure. After that, it is there decision to reap the rewards of, or suffer the consequences for.

    Reply
    1. Ren Fenwitz

      What you aren’t understanding is the fact that this “book” does not exist. Tyson is guilty of libel via this (and many other) articles. It’s completely false, that’s all there is to it.

      Reply
      1. Ordinary Catholic

        Well, of course I understand that aspect as well, but regardless, does not what I previously stated stand true? God loves us all regardless, even if he doesn’t have a place for all of us. And if he wouldn’t press belief on us so self-righteously, I think that the least we could do is to follow that example and let texts like the afore mentioned, should they exist, simply be.

        Reply
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  6. The internet!

    “So since he is dead, the Dr Suess company can’t write books?”

    Then it’s not Dr. Seuss writing it IS IT! Think before you type come on this site is failing now a day.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Danus

      “Think before you type come on this site is failing now a day.”

      Perhaps you should take your own advice.

      Reply
  7. DCW216

    I forgot how I had even stumbled on to this site, but this is hilarious stuff. At first, I thought these articles were in humor or exaggeration. Then I read comments. I’ve about pissed myself. Guy who wrote this, seriously? Who in their right mind would believe this? I’m going to read some more, thanks for the laughs all!

    Reply

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