Before the hipsters thought that heroin-chic and female singers with penises were retro, there was a young long hair hippie post punk man by the name of Eddie Vedder. Eddie Vedder was the front man for a popular band in the late 90’s called “Pearl Jam”, which alone is a vile and satanic masturbatory name in its own.
From the beginning, Mr. Vedder had fantasies of forcefully dipping he grunge skin tube deep within high school female fish valleys. Knowing he could brainwash and exploit women via devil music, Eddie took up piano and singing classes at a young age.
Using his musical background, Eddie knew that if he could start a cool grunge pop band, he could get closer to half conscious females, which would make it easier to convince them to partake in a game of sex stick cave exploration.
Eddie was correct. It only took a few years of hole in the wall bar gigs before getting his band on Mtv, where he was able to tantalize the women parts of American’s young daughters. He was now able to use his school boy looks and romance novel locks on television to turn your daughters into abiding musical concubines.
With the band now being the number one grunge pop group in the world, Pearl Jam was able to tour not only every major city in the world, but to also tour the secreting love slits of a wide variety of boozed up women. With Eddie being the front man, he was able to pick and choose his dinner plates of moist undergarments and spread his oozing seeds of unholiness among the world’s finest whore groupies. It is almost like a man walking into a whore house and being able to pick his poison of female flesh. The band was also pro-choice and Vedder was known for paying for abortions to any girls he had impregnated.
The band’s name referred to the their favorite backstage game, in which they would fill up jars of “male pearl juice” (seamen) and try to sell it off as “love jam” to their female concert goers. Not only did the name have sexual meanings, they also released tracks with hardcore porn like titles.
“Sticking it in the black circle”
A song about having anal sin docking sex with black women.
This song is about a “sex maneuver” which requires on to smear fecal onto another person’s forehead.
This song tells the story about a S&M couple having interracial sex parties, while their children lie asleep in their rooms.
Referring to Eddie’s many of nights of deep sexual penetration.
The band was able to cause havoc all through the 90’s and into the early 2000’s, until Vedder decided he wanted to become a hipster and act like “success” was “not cool”. Even though they were obsessed with still selling albums and concert tickets, the band fell off the radar and so did Eddie’s ability to lure girls into his dressing room.
Due to his penile masquerading, God has punished Eddie, by removing his looks, his hair and his labito.