Gays Cross The Line. Now Ramming Penis Candy Down The Throats of Children

Just look at it, look at the marinated sin factory of homoness that the gays are forcing into the bellies of our children. The gays are jamming handfuls of sugar plummed anal sin down the throats of children around America with their new twaddle stick shaped candies. With these new candies the gays are training little Timmy to crave the musky man taint of the local gay who prowls around the school yard looking for a victim whose mother is late to pick them up. Gays can now sit back and fantasize about man boy love sin docking while they watch children slam back mouthfuls of twiddle rompus fruitiness. The gays can now also place their tainty rainbow brainwashing tarts into vending machines across the country and pray that Franky and the gang build a fancy to maul on fondling Freddy’s meat banana.

If you’re an Obama voting mongoloid, you might ask “What is wrong with kids buying 100 pieces of penile sugar?”. Well to you I say, how would you like your son being the local gay communities dungeon boy? Do you want you son to be the center piece of the local Pride Club’s interracial anal slam fest? I didn’t think so. Just like all liberals they “support” the gays, but would kill their child if they knew they baby boy had a knack for candy sac.

To those who support this type of activity, just know there is a stake and a tank full of gasoline with your name on it if you come into my neck of the woods.

62 thoughts on “Gays Cross The Line. Now Ramming Penis Candy Down The Throats of Children

      1. Flutterpie

        Tyson, did you just make a death threat to homosexuals? “I’ve got a stake and a can of gasoline with your name on it” Tisk Tisk, my good man, surely you are aware that making death threats on the web is a federal crime. Punishable by jail time no less. I expected better from a youth pastor.

        Reply
      1. CelestialDeth

        Really? Really? You think that a Sexually transmitted disease can be placed inside a satirical piece of candy?

        :) I really hope you’re just joking.

        Reply
          1. PeopleTheseDays

            I am sure that these candies were made by women FOR women and that the gay community do not encourage children to buy them – neither do parents. They are strictly for adults/ 18+, this article not only shows how vile you supposed christians are but also how inconsiderate and appalling you are to those who are homosexual. “The gays are jamming handfuls of sugar plummed anal sin down the throats of children around America”
            HA, what a joke, are you people that prejudiced and un- holy that you incite hatred?
            Are you familiar with the phrase “what would jesus do?” If God and Jesus can see this then YOU are the ones who are going to “hell”
            I would give you MY view on the extremist christian religion/ belief in this article but that would be unnecessary, “blasphemous” and spiteful- as I have some very strong views on issues like this and most of my views involve shunning your beliefs.
            You cannot lie in the eyes of “God” and honestly say you have never had homosexual thoughts! There is scientific studies that prove things like this, targetting the homosexual communtity like this also proves denial of sexuality (e.g. like an alcoholic claiming that they are not and saying those who are are disgusting and pathetic etc.)
            I cannot wait for your God to speak with you before you go to hell, obviously he will tell you of your wrong-doings and how this affects his judgement upon your soul.
            Your comments not only make accusations with no evidential support but make you seem like a disgusting human being.
            People get murdered and arrested for less than your hurtful comments.
            There is nothing in the bible stating that being gay/lesbian automatically makes you evil/ a lesser person than those who claim that they are on the path of “righteousness”
            DO YOU NOT KNOW THE GOLDEN RULE PEOPLE!

        1. anonymous

          Reasearch means finding out things and Susan b anonthy gave woman freedom so the guys won’t depend on us and we can get real job other then a house wife

          Reply
          1. Flutterpie

            Research means looking up who the heck actually sells dick candies before embarking on homophobic tyrades about them.

  1. anonymous atheist

    i think everyone on this website needs to understand a term

    Joke:
    1.
    a : something said or done to provoke laughter; especially : a brief oral narrative with a climactic humorous twist
    b (1) : the humorous or ridiculous element in something (2) : an instance of jesting : kidding
    c : practical joke
    d : laughingstock
    2
    : something not to be taken seriously : a trifling matter —often used in negative constructions

    Reply
      1. anonymous atheist

        what is too complicated for you to understand

        безбожные советские пониы внушительный, мы похоронят вы

        those who are irrationally patriotic may wish to close their eyes

        atheist soviet ponies are awesome, we will bury you.

        Reply
  2. bisexual

    LOL you guys realize they do not sell those to children!! those are sold in adult stores like spencers. omfg -.-‘ i’ve seen those for years in that store! they AREN’T NEW! XD grow up.

    Reply
      1. anonymous

        إضافة تشاك جاذبية خنزير هل هذه هي لغة الشيطان لأنني يمكن استخدام هذا لأقول ما أريد من أي وقت مضى لك

        Reply
          1. anonymous

            If im a dumbass then who the fuck are you to tell im a dumbass and last time i check i got straight A’s on my finals -.-

      2. CelestialDeth

        Me and my mom frequent Spencer’s every time we go to the mall and we laugh ourselves silly.

        They’re meant as a joke, and children aren’t allowed in Spencer’s. Also Spencer’s is a joke shop, not a sex shop, and just because she knows where to buy hilarious candies doesn’t make her a slut.

        Reply
      3. PeopleTheseDays

        What does the amount of times someone engages in sexual activity have to do with you or the statement, do you know this person?
        If you do then you do know that is not nice to say unless its of a joke-like nature?
        If you don’t you do know you cant make that assumption based on a comment that doesn’t specifically say anything of the sexual nature of the person?

        Reply
  3. bisexual

    uh lol no. a normal young adult. i never bought them i find them really stupid. maybe if i wanted to make someone laugh i would get them for that person because they’re ment to be a joke.. -.-‘ and by the way…personal question time how many people have you slept with because if you say one. i know you’re lying ;p

    faggot.

    Reply
  4. Dragonman

    You people have a most creative vocabulary.

    But anyhow, i have seen this candy roaming around in spencers, looking for a top hat. Noone is trying to sell this to your children

    Reply
    1. Businessman Hank

      Difference acknowledged. Gays are attracted to their same sex, whereas pedophiles are attracted to children.

      There just happens to be a statistically significant correlation between homosexuality and pedophilia, compared to heterosexuality.

      Reply
      1. OddAtheist

        Oh look, you know the difference. Good for you.

        There can be gay Pedophiles, but not all gay people are pedophiles.

        Your cult seems to assume that EVERY gay man is a pedophile, but that is simply untrue.

        Reply
        1. Businessman Hank

          You know, you call us a cult, but we’re actually just Christians, a widely practiced religion. Meanwhile, you belong to a small, self-identified group of atheists, 16-30 years of age, who watch “My Little Pony” religiously.

          So who’s the cult, really?

          Reply
          1. OddAtheist

            And you dodged the entire point of my comment…

            I know Christianity isn’t a cult, I’m saying the extremist Christians here on Christwire are a cult.

            Also, me being an atheist and being a Brony aren’t related in the slightest. So to make up a group of “Atheists, 16-30 yrs old, who watch MLP” is really pointless.

            Answer me this honestly: Do you relize that not every Gay man is a pedophile?

          2. Businessman Hank

            Saying that gays perpetrated an act of pedophilia is not the same as saying all gays are pedophiles. You assume that every time we talk about gays, we’re talking about them as a collective, as though every single gay convened in one room and discussed how to pervert our children as a group.

            I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened, but I don’t believe it does.

          3. Flutterpie

            What the hell does My Little Pony have to do with atheism. And no, your not Christians because I’m a Christian and we are not usually homophobic bigots. I’m a Christian who likes My Little Pony by the way.
            Asshole

      1. Businessman Hank

        I can’t speak for Tyson, I can only guess at what he meant to convey. You’re all so blinded by your hatred you can’t see it any other way except that which makes us look worst.

        Reply
        1. OddAtheist

          If he used the word gay he meant to convey that gays are Pedophiles. Simple. I don’t truly hate you guys, I just find the fact you guys alway have your information wrong annoying.

          Reply
          1. Businessman Hank

            But how do you know he’s talking about all gays, and not merely the gays that created this product?

          2. OddAtheist

            Ever stop to think the candy was created by women as a joke during bachelorette parties?

            Just the fact he automatically assumes that gays made it is wrong

  5. Claire

    Candy such as this can ONLY be found online, in sex shops, or in adult-oriented stores such as Spencer’s Gifts.

    You WON’T find penis candy in the candy aisle at WalMart or in convenience stores.

    Reply
      1. L. N.

        How is that an insult, Clownboy? Do you not know how to insult someone? It’s kind of considered common knowledge that adult-oriented things are going to be sold at adult stores.

        Reply
  6. CelestialDeth

    Oh my god. OH MY GOD. I’M DYING. DYING. THIS IS THE BEST SATIRICAL WEBSITE EVER.

    The best part is that the people who wholly support things like this don’t realize that the writer is actually making fun of them. 😀

    Reply
    1. Flutterpie

      I’m pretty sure it’s just well executed troll-bait. Or it’s actually written by a bigoted nutjob, I’m really not sure.

      Reply
  7. Not goth, just quiet

    Really Tyson, really? How stupid could you get? Number one: Only ADULTS can buy this crap
    Number two: Show me somewhere where it says gay people created this stuff
    Number three: you need to get your frigging facts straight before you post things, all you do is post one sided nonsense that is just dumb to ANYONE with some common sense!

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Blanche Beecham Cancel reply