Gays Make New Gummy Worm to Infiltrate Your Son’s Rear Muscle

“dual flavors, a ribbed body, and a five inch girth. It makes an amazing gift for now or later”

These are the tricky words of a marketing department swollen with the urge to tempt your children into suckling the tit of a homo gay lifestyle. Words like these only spew from the gay’s anus loving mouth in hopes to confusion your children into thinking that a sugar high snack isn’t a step into the direction of pure gaydom and sin. This is a perfect example of how the homo gay agenda uses “playful” propaganda to promote homosexuality to your children via yummy treats and sugary sweets.

Let us not be ignorant and naive and pretend this ribbed gummy worm does not look like something that is sugar plummed with anal sin and that this does not look like a toy that twiddle rompus worshipers wouldn’t use to sin dock their open and willing partners sewer hole. Let us not deny that this treat of terror is inserting nuggets of homosexual behavior into the minds of our young men.

The gay’s plan is to get your sons comfortable with playing and caressing toys or food that are shaped like a homosexuals favorite pleasure chest toy and hope by the time your sons come to age (usually 12), the gays will be able to fully convert them over to a homosexual with little resistance.

Look at the marketing video and you can see the eyes of Satan piercing are into the hearts of unaware viewers. Look at the homo-erotic faces each “actor” expresses when playing or even sucking on the “worm”. How can anyone tell me this video isn’t smothered with the maple syrup of homosexuality?

27 thoughts on “Gays Make New Gummy Worm to Infiltrate Your Son’s Rear Muscle

  1. NellieSix

    Seriously, there is nothing wrong with this. My friend Jacob gets one every year for his Birthday, and he isn’t gay.

  2. Captain Obvious

    Look, I know there’s a lot of stuff out there that looks like a penis, but that doesn’t mean EVERYTHING is based on dicks.

      1. Captain Obvious

        Yes, I do. Most things do. With enough creativity, a computer mouse can be phallic. Just because it shares similarities with an object doesn’t mean those similarities are intentional.

        1. Tyson Bowers III

          So you are saying the gays made the “mouse” so people will always have a penis in their hand? What a mean little trick!

          1. Kenny

            Captain Obvious, you shouldn’t have said that…now Tyson is gonna start using the mouse inappropriately…

            Hmm…how’s that for bestiality?! XD

  3. Sam

    Tyson, is the reason that you’re making this article because you, yourself, saw this as a sex toy? A person’s mind doesn’t necessarily go to ‘sex toy’ when someone comes out with giant gummi worm. Perhaps I look at it in a different perspective than you. But giant gummi doesn’t exactly scream ‘F**K ME’ as much as it screams ‘CHILDHOOD OBESITY’ — if you want to talk about a more relative matter for looking out for the well being of the nation’s youth.

  4. Tonestar

    Dude this guy sees cock EVERYWHERE. It’s in his dreams. Every commercial. Every football player. It’s sneaking up behind him in an alley. There’s one on top of every church. It’s just COCK. COCK. COCK. He can’t get away from it! It’s like Alan Wake but its Alan’s Cock.

  5. John

    Wow, this site is pathetic, haha. Please tell me this entire website is a joke and there aren’t actually people like you out there.

    1. Imus Anon

      Fortunately, this site is a complete hoax. :)

      UN-foutunately, there are people who think like this. People who call themselves “christians” and who I am ashamed to say I share a religion with :(

      Tyson Bowers III might not even be a real person… hopefully

  6. Garrett

    For god sake if it was made to be a sex toy, it would look like a fucking penis not a worm. you sir have a sick and twisted mind if that’s what you first think of.

  7. Krysten

    Really? Eating candy makes a person gay? I guess breathing does too. Must be why you people come up with such ridiculous accusations, you’re not getting enough oxygen to your brain.

    But, for real. Who uses gummy worms to stick up their butthole? And who, besides you obviously, would think to stick one up their butthole?

  8. Lola Nasty

    Before My Personal Savior Jesus Christ came into my life I used these nifty little things in my schoolgirl act. Straight liberal jews enjoy them. It makes them think of girl children.

  9. Random nurse

    Seriously? Cause what does that make me? I’m female and straight and I love these, my boyfriend who is straight also like these, you just see everything YOU don’t like as being “gay” or “used by gays” grow up and quit being such an idiot!

  10. ...

    ohhhohhohohoh ummmm? are you people legit? cuz if you are your sick ass motherfuckers that need to stop thinking everything you see is devil worship or something sexual. damn and people say IM a pervert. yall are fucked up wrong.

  11. Gummy worms made me gay

    Dude it’s a gummy worm not a sex toy you fucking twat. And I’m pretty sure if your son shoves candy up his ass he was gay to begin with.


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