Guild Wars 2 – Uncomfortable Fondling American Youth’s Musky Regions

The Danger:
The scent of demonic secretion wafts its foul odor yet again across the innocent genitals of America’s youth, trying to grip their meat bananas in the most uncomfortable homosexual manner known to man. This new veil of necormatic rape comes to us in the form of WASD keyboard pounding and with each mouse left click of molestation, brings your child closer to a lifestyle of urgefully wanting homosexually produced devil DNA inside of them and will increase the temptation of wanting taint tug their musky man candy or end up having unprotected fecal farming sex with skanky females or prancing fecal bandits. What is this new form of mind fisting you ask? Where did I go wrong as a parent you might be thinking? How did I allow my child to walk a path of utter death? Let me tell you, this hellspawn of soppy man mucus was brought into your house the day you allowed your children to engage in MMORPGing. Massive Multiple Orgy Role Playing Games are bringing the destruction of children and its latest phallic swindler is called Guild Wars 2.

Guild Wars 2 is laced with drug references, cut scenes of gay men trying to fill each other’s prairie dog holes with large battle axes, black magic witches casting sexual urge spells and mythical creatures that will for sure cause your child to want to live some sort of loser goth lifestyle.

The Name:
Did you know the word “Guild” is used in the gay community to describe underground drug clubs that are frequented by dangerous sugar plummed anal fairies looking to fecal plow young children? These clubs are also where gays go to have solo jousting circle competitions. Did you also know the acronym used for Guild Wars 2 is GW2? That is the same acronym used by hot beef Harrys when they engage in a triple male prison dances. Basically even before your child installs the megabits of death binary into their computer,the game’s name is bombarding them with gay erotic undertones of reverse deification acts and possibly brainwashing them into wanting to explore themselves with a good sour cream wiggle session. The logo itself has a serpent and we all know that is the universal phallic symbol in black magic circles. If you think this is funny, please know that one person has already died from playing its beta release version.

Breaking Down The Release Date:
Guild Wars 2 is set to release 8-28-12, but did you know there was a reason for its numerical usage? Below I break down the numerical whorness of this release date. The numbers are just as dangerous as the lawn mowing Mexican Aztec calender, which tries to make people believe the new age of homosexuality will be among us in December, 2012.

8 – The number eight in 4chan talk, the talk used in MMORPG games, means two holes. Those two holes are the man’s sewer hole on top and the woman’s blood sewer below it.

28 – Again the MMORPG sign for sex holes and the number two stands for sex toy. When you put the two together it means penile injection of both holes with stiff jelly formed

This is a Tyson Bowers III certified review.

penetration projectiles.

12 – Again, a man’s sin stick and the number one in-front of it means a homosexaul, which makes the penile a homosexual love lurer.

When we look at the whole date together it comes out meaning all players should openly flaunt their holes for plastic pleasure poking and be wide open and allow themselves to be filled with pearly demon sap from that of a sickly infested penile of ass assassin.

5 thoughts on “Guild Wars 2 – Uncomfortable Fondling American Youth’s Musky Regions

  1. Rev

    Ok I have to say reading your crap has given me a smile. I do relize that our nut houses are filled with “special” people but you sir are a whole version of nutty. I am sure you and Fred Phelps are best buddies. Oh I have a fantastic idea now, I will be back for more laughs soon, promise.

  2. MLee

    Seriously dude, you’re mind sounds way more warped than this game ever imagined! The very picture is of a chick, how does this imply “phallic” symbols to you? Maybe you dozed off while playing the game and your gay fantasies took over your mind! Get a life!

  3. Not goth, just quiet

    Ok I am sick an tired of all of this useless arguing. First of all to you idiots (especially Tyson) need to stop being so dramatic about useless things such as this. I am thirteen and I know children who act more mature than most of you! WHO cares if someone is gay or atheist or just doesn’t believe what you do!? WHO cares if you don’t like how someone dresses or acts!? It’s there life and choices not yours. One of my best friends is gay and the other is transgender! And to you people who think that acting as cruel as this to these people who aren’t like you, SHUT UP! I live in the center of the freaking Bible Belt and my friends aren’t treated any differently or cruelly by anyone here. WHY would you brother with all of this, it’s pointless nonsense that has nothing to do with your life. If it bothers you SO much, get off the dang website or just IGNORE IT!!!! Like I said you people are no better than bratty kids who are throwing temper tantrums and putting other people down just cause thy fell in love with someone of the same sex, just because they don’t believe in God, and just because they EAT differently than you!! Really just cause someone’s diet isn’t the same as yours you have to put them down! You are ALL bullies to these people, there have been suicides at my school and other places because of bullying! Does it take a persons DEATH just to make you realize “maybe I should have been kinder to them”!!! Oh yeah and another one of my friends is atheist. I am NEVER getting on this site again! And really cussing people out cuz they aren’t like you, talk about childish. I hope some of you learn a lesson from this and treat others how God has said to, with kindness and compassion! No one is above OR below anyone else, and this sight just seems to be about making people feel low for being who they are!! I hope you all have a nice day, BYE!!!

  4. Stanislav

    Thank you for this most informative article! I was blind but now I see! I am now armed against the pernicious influences of Guild Wars and all it’s equally vile, butt pumping, cousins. And to think that I have been playing these MMOs for YEARS.


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