How to Spot A Hipstersexual

Hipstersexual NounHip-stir-sex-you-all – A hipstersexual is a Parliament (P-funk) smoking rich kid who usually surfs the web using Google Chrome or the iMac version of Netscape, posting Photoshop’d images on their Tumblr accounts and tags their images with anti-capitalist comments and rant about how America is such a drag. A hipster will never blog without running it through the hipster online thesaurus to make their verbal library seem vast.

You can find hipstersexuals in any high income cities, where they try and act like they are poor, while mom and dad spend money on their 2 year trade school art degrees and their “white side of town” studio apartments.

These freak free loaders need to #occupyajobapplication

Typical Boy 1:Why is that homosexual kid wearing purple leggings, an aqua and Autumn brown scarf and smoking a pipe while he plays Gameboy?
Typical Boy 2:Oh, he is a hipstersexual.

30 thoughts on “How to Spot A Hipstersexual

  1. Blanche Beecham

    I think these Hemptersexuals draw the Mexicans into our country like flies with their druggie appetites.

    Reply
  2. Bruce Danus

    These Hipstersexuals even have their own diseases they are unleashing on us…

    [img]http://chzemokid.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/emo-scene-hipster-but-you-should-know-its-contagious-and-deadly.jpg[/img]

    Reply
  3. BVB-BOTDF

    Your very stupid. Why are you makeing up useless words!? A person, is a person. And they can dress how they want!

    Reply
    1. Bruce Danus

      Hipstersexuals try to only deal with things that Normal humans don’t like. Therefore, based on your username BVB-BOTDF, you are a Hipstersexual and an Emosexual. The Hipstersexuals tend to cry less, and they don’t cut themselves. Thank You for trying to help promote a Christian lifestyle though.

      Reply
      1. BVB-BOTDF

        I’m Hipster”sexual”? WOOOW I NEVE KNEW. And I’m Emo? I’ve been told that I’m just like any other christain trying to understand the way God wants me to be, and I strongly belive this is it. I am not a Hipster, nor Emo, as Emo does not exsit, other than being a is a style,that people sterotype.

        No. I dress acually dress in normal jeans, and whatever BRIGHT or dark colored shirt I have. You have no right to wonder about myself or anyone else as you have never met them or seen them. Even then, it would be aganst God to judge.

        Reply
  4. Stephenson Billings

    All I see is unemployment and drug abuse. I wonder what their parents must think of this so-called “lifestyle.” Yes, these types think they’re so cool and interesting, but wait until they’re adults with mortgages and car payments, children and schools… They’ll grow up real face when faced with genuine responsibilities. How sad that today’s youths seem to think they have free rein to dress like monkeys and spend their parent’s money all night out at clubs. How are they possibly contributing to bringing America out of the recession? We depend on the youth generation to work hard and contribute. Clearly, they’re failing.

    Reply
    1. BVB-BOTDF

      I think spending money on drugs and clubs, are very stupid. However, It’s a dress style, not a type of person. People are people. Treat them how you would want to be treated. It’s the golden rule after all (:

      Reply
  5. Cassidy Pen

    These poor souls appear to be European and if that’s not scary enough, their popularity with youth should be enough to set off the alarm of all American parents but I fear that the far left media and their homogay agenda will not tolerate shining the light of day on this threat.

    Reply
      1. Bruce Danus

        Damien, We allow you to post your Yiddish rants, without saying they are invalid, so please stop telling other people here that their comments are invalid (as a courtesy like we have shown to you). Thanks in advance.

        Reply
          1. Bruce Danus

            The problem with the Interwebs is that anybody’s posts, are their arguments or their compliments, unless they are just morons and posting stupid pictures. Any post having to do with an article or another comment, technically is the other person’s argument. Therefore, by calling a “Post” invalid, you also call their “argument” invalid.

          2. Bruce Danus

            I apologize for my grammatalical errers. I mentioned earlier that I am using a telegraph today. We are trying to spread the love of ChristWire International to countries that do not enjoy Interweb access, so I volunteered to test our USB telegraph system. I think it is very rude of you, Damien, to try to deprive Third World Nations of Interweb access.

          3. Bruce Danus

            You really need to read entire comments and articles before trying to “Troll” here. If you paid attention, we have created a USB Telegraph system that plugs into a type of modem that relays to a satellite and then back to the Christwire Headquarters. It is actually quick enough to be able to send a message and receive an incoming transmission at the same time.

            We are trying to help the savage Third World people, what are you doing with your day?

            There is one problem with the system, if the satellite moves too far away, we lose contact with our main Headquarters and some messages can end up being cut off rando

  6. Claude

    This website is nothing more than a festering pile of hate. I see nothing ‘Christian’ about anything I have read here, at all. All I have seen is overt racism towards Mexicans (I assume the racism is universal, however), ridiculously outdated and unnecessary intolerance towards homosexuality and a general mood that suggests less ‘Doing God’s work’ and more ‘Hate Campaign’. Honestly, Christianity can be a very rewarding thing, but I fail to see how you are representing the religion well by basically flipping all of what you SHOULD be representing on it’s head, taking it to a ludicrous degree, and never seem to stop for a single moment to think that maybe you are wrong. You are not any more special than anyone else. God does not favor you over anyone else. Being white, Christian and American does not entitle you to make judgments over movements (fashion or otherwise) you do not or refuse to understand. Ignorance only begets ignorance, and closed-mindedness will do you no good in the afterlife.

    Reply
  7. Jack Smith

    Is this website a joke? I’m not sure.

    The claims made on every article posted on this website are very close minded and ignorant. Is this 15th century Salem? This is the kind of pointless banter that starts wars. Why can’t everyone just get along? There are bigger issues like starving people all over the globe (including America).
    As an Orthodox Christian, (the original Christian) I am very offended by this website and it puts a bad name to Christians everywhere.

    Also many articles talk about killing people. That’s not what Jesus would want. Jesus would praise the free thinker hipsters because he was a free thinker himself. There would be no Christianity if Jesus never spoke up and broke the rules.

    This website must have been created by Satan himself, because all I see is hate hate hate.

    Reply
  8. Some Random Guy

    There is no such thing as a “hipstersexual”. They are just hipsters. Hipsters are just people who like old things. Like records. If it is popular now, they do not like it. Except Starbucks. Hipsters love Starbucks.

    Reply

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