Kid Dies From Skyrim Marathon. Posted on His Facebook – Skyrim Marathon Sucide

Everyone laughed when I posted about how Skyrim is teaching our children homo erotic maneuvers and now that no one listened, not only are children hopscotching their souls to sin, they are now also in a new trend called “Skyrim Marathon Suicide”.

In the Facebook images obtained below from a gaming website called “geekologie.com”, we can see the sugar and carbohydrates binge one young man partakes in while playing Skyrim for 87 hours straight. You can see in the updates that his friends beg him to stop killing himself with oil saturated fats and lack of sleep, but the boy is to sucked into the game of demonic fornication and dragon masturbation.

If you child begs you to goto Costco and fill up on Doritos, Jolt Cola and high BMI causing treats, they might be planning a Skyrim Marathon Suicide.


86 thoughts on “Kid Dies From Skyrim Marathon. Posted on His Facebook – Skyrim Marathon Sucide

  1. Penumbra

    If you had read the comments you would know this is only a joke. Kids aren’t as stupid as you believe them to be Mr. Bowers, and I find it quite sad that you have to turn something meant to be fun into something twisted and demonic just to suit your own wants and needs.

    Reply
  2. Stephenson Billings

    What an awfully tragic outcome, but should parents really be that surprised? Video gaming is an addiction, like cigarettes. But unlike cigarettes, it is far more deadly and even causes the addict to go out there and harm others. These games are training children to be evil, to hate and to commit acts of violence. I have read far too many stories of diseases, suicides, physical ailments and murders committed in the name of video games.

    Reply
    1. L.N

      Billings, show me proof of that claim. Go on, show me legitimate proof that video games are worse than cigarettes and can alter brain chemistry to cause a dependency on them in order to maintain a stable level.

      And go look up what a joke is, this dude was poking fun of how crazy some people are.

      Reply
        1. L.N

          Do you even read your proof?! The picture in the link doesn’t even specify video games, it just shows a kid holding a control, and there’s plenty of debate going on that video games themselves don’t cause people to get fat, it’s lazy people that get fat, which is entirely true.

          Reply
    2. Penumbra

      I find the two of you to be pathetic. Constantly ignoring and berating people because your suffering from a god complex, and then refussing to admit your wrong just makes it all the worse.

      The two of you aren’t christian. If you were you’d know lying is a sin.

      Reply
          1. raggle flaggle

            how dare you insult the good name of skyrim

            how about i give you a nice big cup of FUS ROH DAH!!

    3. Teh_Broseph

      That’s a bold claim, Broseph. This whole article? You know the one up there? That was a joke, jokes are funny. You, sir, are a nuisance to readers.

      Reply
  3. Tom

    You do know that this was a joke two friends did in order to annoy people right? If not, I really do pity your feeble intelligence.

    Reply
  4. KBLME

    I found a story where a kid died from reading the bible maybe we should do something about that don’t want more kids to die from that now do we?

    Reply
    1. Tom

      I remember that! Didn’t he become so obsessed with learning the entire layout of the Bible that he forgot to eat and starved to death? What kind of God allows that?

      Reply
      1. raggle flaggle

        i hear that the bible is spreading like the plague there’s only one thing to do in order to prevent the spreading of this horrible tragedy we must…

        BURN ALL THE BIBLES!!

        Reply
      1. Claire

        Billings, I recall asking several years ago for not only PROOF that you’re a “certified investigative journalist” but for the name of the school that you supposedly attended in order to achieve the degree. You consistently refused to provide both. Yet now you’re insulting MY education?

        Either produce some sort of certificate of completion of a journalism course or name the school that you went to.

        Reply
          1. Claire

            Telling me where you were educated and providing your credentials is not bragging about your educational background. That’s a pretty lousy excuse. I’ll ask you again: please provide them.

          2. Stephenson Billings

            Say Claire, we have communicated in a while. What’s up in your life? Any boys? Do you have your Christmas list drawn up yet? I bet there are a lot of things you want! I wonder if you want an IPad like all the other kids. I think they’re awfully neat but I hate tapping with my thumbs on the screen. It gets so smeared and greasy and those things, well I feel like I could drop them easy. Give me the old desktop any day. Stability! Unless you have a rickety kitchen table. I can’t tel you how many matchbooks I have put under that leg and it still manages to get uneven so much so on some days it’s like my Cheerios pratically comes running down the bowl like Niagara. Have you been there? Boston is sort of close and Maine too. Maybe I can visit Canada some day and stop in on Cambridge before. Maybe the boys will come to your town for the book tour. Will you say hi? They would love to hug you and Mom in real life. Okay my friend I’m off to sleep but yes, please tell me all about your life I;m rather excited to hear! Love you, SB

          3. Claire

            Twice I asked him a question and he didn’t answer it. Before I answer his stupid questions he needs to answer mine. Since you’re still a noob I’ll cut you some slack, but I’ve been trying to get Billings’ credentials out of him for several years now and he consistently refuses. I think that speaks volumes.

          4. Susan B. Xenu

            Billings credentials speak for themselves. He is a beloved and celebrated journalist. You on the other hand go to a college that gives out certificates online that you can color in and brag endlessly about your sex toy collection.

          5. Claire

            Once again, please go onto http://www.mountida.edu and take a screenshot of whatever link supposedly allows one to print out a certificate. Also, please find me proof that Billings is a “celebrated” journalist. If you look up “Stephenson Billings” on Google 99% of people are laughing at him.

          6. L.N

            What proven track record? That you’re a gigantic liar who can’t even be bothered to look up the most basic of facts? Or the fact that you’re a coward and a pervert?

          7. Susan B. Xenu

            LN did you go to the beach today and get sand in your baby hole? You have to much hate in your hearts, try ketting some JESUS in, honey and life will treat you better.

  5. Нет бога

    I just bought Skyrim, and I think that I’ll now go play it while cutting my wrists, drinking 508 cans of energy drinks, and sacrificing that goat I bought a few days ago to Satan.

    Reply
    1. Teh_Broseph

      THANK YOU! Finally someone who feels the same about gaming habits as me! I personally prefer sacrificing a bull, Satan pays better for bovine blood.

      Reply
          1. L.N

            I’m doing quite well by myself, you asshole. I’m not having to rely on my parents like you are, you shit-eating liar.

    1. Claire

      In case you needed more reasons for why I keep refusing your email pleading for me to be your friend, consider that crap you just posted to be reason enough, you old cunt.

      Reply
    1. Albert Toppers

      What a sweet picture, Sister Susan! But, I’m afraid it may not be enough. She has so much hate in her heart. I worry everyday about her! Let’s just keep praying and hope she opens her heart up to Jesus. Honk, honk!

      Reply
        1. Teh_Broseph

          There is a point when feigning maturity goes too far. I respect that you haven’t stooped to the level of returning their “evil”, but you guys have honestly brought up nothing but dissenting opinions; no facts, not even witty comebacks, just underhanded and backhanded insults. Sorry toots, don’t let me ruin you guys’ fun, though.

          Reply
  6. KBLME

    Oh susan your still around you ever going to answer me why your image is on a web site from 2007 about elderly abuse or just ban me again?

    Reply
    1. Albert Toppers

      Sister Susan has become quite famous from her postings on this holy site! She has been featured on all sorts of websites! Congratulations Susan! God Bless You!!!

      Reply
      1. Teh_Broseph

        “This holy site” ?! Oh MAN! This site is written by atheists, it constantly makes fun of religion in satirical and facetious way. I’m sorry, I just about died laughing for a second there. Wow! You guys are REALLY barking up the wrong tree.

        Reply
        1. KBLME

          And by that I mean if she became famous from this site that was made on, 22-Dec-2008, and became a model for web site in 2007 only means she must have some kind of time travel thing because you know time doesn’t go the other way.

          Reply
  7. David Tanstaafl

    Did anyone else notice that that the screenshots showed the “Edit” option? Tyson Bowers is Mike Murphy!!!!

    Reply