Marvel Now Promotes Gay Agenda With Wolverine Toy

It looks like our homo supporting friends over at Marvel have created a new toy to encourage young boys to perform mouth to mouth in a non holy way to a blow up toys twiddle rompus!

We might as well line our children up and burn them ourselves! If we make these types of devil pleasing acts ok they will all be burning in the fire lakes anyways!

I spit on you Marvel for creating such filth and then trying to cover it up with lies!

What’s next? The Wonder Woman lollipop? You are sick and twisted and I hope God’s Wrath purges the sin right out of you and then sends you to your master!

I bet the homo queers in San Fransisco are just waiting for their new pray to turn the ripe age of 12, so they can get their dingle dongs touched by some young boys lips! I pray everyday that God sends a fire ball right into the center of that city!

I ask all parents to pray that these homo gay supporters go out of business soon and that their black savior doesn’t send them a bailout package!

182 thoughts on “Marvel Now Promotes Gay Agenda With Wolverine Toy

  1. anon

    tyson is doing the lord’s work in here, guys. these are important issues that must be addressed! don’t you see? the gay agenda is so blatant and right in front of your face. i’m scared to think about the seven or 8 illegitimate kids i have out there and what kind of world up in which they are growing. truly scary stuff. thank you tbiii.

    Reply
    1. Loki7

      Are you KIDDING? This is the best site EVER! I mean, of course it’s a joke, right? Check out the articles to my right:Is My Husband Gay? How to Spot A Masturbator, I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People, and Coachella… Your Children Will Most Likely Die! C’mon, this is comic gold! Dingle dongs? >ahem< Sir. You should really re-asses your career choice. You obviously have no grasp of reality, or spelling, or scripture. Perhaps you should let a grown-up, like a priest or a professor, explain it to you. If you are actually serious about these, um, beliefs? please eat a .45 before you hurt anyone.If you are just a comic genius, please accept my admiration! "How to Spot a Masturbator"! You're killin me!…
      Loki

      Reply
    1. Dinky Longtwaddle

      It is quite obvious what Marvel gains by promoting the homo-gay-pedo agenda,. Who Pray tell does the Marvel company direct it’s marketing at? CHILDREN! Now by insidiously placing the blow up valve in Wolverines genital area the are subconciously instilling the idea that that is where a childs mouth belongs. So now when they send out the gay recruiters to childrens parties dressed in Wolverine gear…
      I think that you get the picture now. Only God can save our souls!!!

      Reply
  2. Jesus H Christ

    Tyson,

    “I spit on you Marvel for creating such filth and then trying to cover it up with lies!”

    In the name of “fairness” you really should fully disclose that you actually swallowed that load, so, you can’t, with a clean conscience, claim now that you spit it out. Especially when I saw you gulp it down with suck glee!

    Your lord and saviour blah blah blah…..

    jesus h tap dancing christ

    Reply
  3. Griffith

    Nice add on the right side of the page. Very Fitting.
    I would much rather be gay than be associated in any way with this hateful group of bigots.

    Reply
  4. Tyson Bowers III

    I’m Tyson Bowers III, and I just want to say the first two version of me, Tyson Bowers I, and Tyson Bowers II, were innoficient, so I had to kill them and assimilte them into myself. I am now a christo-nazi windbag that wants nothing more than the world to be made up of white people, who are straight, and eat bibles. Because that is the only holy food. Now I’m going to go blow up my wolverine bop bag and stick my dingle dong in it, because obviously I can’t say Penis. Because I’m fucking stupid.

    Reply
  5. Donald

    This site, christwire, is a joke! It is far too one-sided. My grandmother is a very devoted christian and I must say she is far more understanding and open to things than the writers of this site.

    My two uncles are also probably the most religious people I know. Both were professors at a bible college, and now travel on missions. BOTH would laugh at this site and its extremeness.

    It scares me to see things posted online like this – it is YOU who are brainwashing america. People don’t choose to be gay any more than you or I choose to be male or female, its just who you are, its not a choice. You can’t turn someone gay, just as you cant turn a gay person straight. There is no “agenda” to turn people gay. Whats wrong with you.

    Reply
    1. Dave

      That is because this is a satirical site. Seriously, it is. Do a google search and look for the a NYTimes article where one of the founders of the site is interviewed.

      Reply
  6. John Mathews

    Seriously Tyson Bowers III! You have to be fucking kidding me! Marvel didn’t think to themselves “lets make a gay toy” you fucking idiot! Seriously, you are the most annoying fucking person ive ever seen in my entire life and are so fucking narrow minded about stuff. Every little fucking thing comes down to being a sin with you doesn’t it. so why don’t you do us all a favour and just fuck right off you dick!

    Reply
  7. LordsWarrior

    Preach on brother, dont let all these gay loving heathens quiet Gods Word. They will beg for forgiveness in the lake of fire

    Reply
    1. Michelle

      Do us all a favor, and commit suicide. :]

      You’re going to have to get used to these “gay loving heathens” because day by day, homophobia is decreasing! And the population of bisexual, gays, and lesbians is increasing. :) Yay for acceptance.

      Reply
  8. Satan

    “so they can get their dingle dongs touched by some young boys lips”

    Man you sound so gay lol Dingle dongs…fag

    Reply
  9. Green Hellion

    It’s spelled “prey”, not “pray”…just one of thousands of things wrong with your piece of “journalism”.

    This article is as hateful as the worst Klan material, doesn’t sound very Christ-like to me (or any other free-thinking person).

    “Their Black Savior” is not considered a savior by anyone I know, but infinitely more Christ-like in his actions than the last guy who claimed to be born-again.

    Lastly, the imagery you conjured only illustrates the point that you’re probably a huge fag yourself.

    Reply
  10. anon

    Thank you TB. I knew the mutants in the comics were just a vessel used to subvert the minds of our youth. I wasn’t aware until your posting that it was the gay agenda.

    Reply
  11. Ha Ha

    Think someone protests too much or what?

    Now go and do your “wide stance” at some truck-bathroom somewhere and let the rest of us live our lives, you closet Queen.

    Reply
  12. Adam Nelson

    Hey guys, I’m pretty sure faggots are A-OK in gods book.

    Lather me in oil and slide a crucifix into my pouting anus!

    Oh boy!

    Reply
  13. aenigmatic96

    It looks like our homo supporting friends over at Marvel have created a new toy to encourage young boys to perform mouth to mouth in a non holy way to a blow up toys twiddle rompus!

    [img]http://s.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2009/3/2/7/blow-up-wolverine-16559-1235996616-34.jpg[/img]

    Reply
  14. Ferguson Ulrich

    HEY BIGGOT, or should I say closet faggot?, by the way you describe your love for young men and the gay vacation destinations banners all over your post one would think you’re a Pro at dick sucking.

    BTW Obama won, get over it. OH NO THE BLACK DEVIL IS COMING TO GET US, WHERE OH WHERE ARE OUR GOOD LAND OWNING FAT CATR PSEUDO EVANGELICAL WHITE MALE SAVIORS NOW?!?!?!?!

    Reply
  15. GayChristian

    What about gay Christians? They DO exist and were also created in God’s image…like it or not! Your hate filled diatribe is ridiculous and just remember — Jesus went around with the undesirable people…not the judgemental. Forgive him (the author of this article) Father for he knows not what he does.

    Reply
  16. GayChristian

    THANK you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him or her that Leviticus 18:22 clearly state it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them. My important Biblically based questions are listed below. I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

    1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to the Irish, but not English people. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own some Englishmen?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

    4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is: my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I do not agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

    7. Lev.21:20 state that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wriggle-room here?

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

    9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    Reply
  17. Darcy

    hahaha — Wonder Women is DC comics not Marvel…

    so they totaly can’t make a lollipop with out releasing a crossover issue
    PSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Also I guess God doesn’t really get the whole concept of accidents or coincidence…
    I mean It’s God you’d think she would have saw this one cumming ?????

    Reply
  18. Freja

    I have to say while the fact that they’re serious articles disturbs me, I find this sort of thing hillarious.

    In this day and age it amazes me that people can go through life believing this BS. GET A GRIP!! There are more important things in life than comic books and if you have nothing better to do with your time than look up things that could be ‘gay’ then there is something very wrong with your life.

    It’s time to live in the real world!

    Reply
  19. Nets

    You misspelled “prey”. You’re holy rolling and using the incorrect “pray”. Thank you for your complete and utter stupidity.

    Reply
  20. syd hail satan

    Mike Breyenbach wrote: “What does Marvel stand to gain by making your kids gay?”

    Isn’t that obvious? Gay kids. That’s what marvel gains by trying to turn kids gay, is more gay kids. Everytime they turn a child gay, a demon kids his wings.

    HAIL SATAN everyone!

    Reply
  21. fred

    I like how you would prefer Genocide in the city of SF than just let people live their own lives in peace and love as God intended.

    Reply
  22. Rob

    Is this site a joke?

    It must be, especially with the following advertising on your site when i clicked in to read what my friend emailed me under the heading “more crazy ramblings from the net”.

    Tags: gays, homosexuals, marvel, wolverine

    GAYEBONYDATING.COM

    Comments
    56 Responses to “Marvel Now Promotes Gay Agenda With Wolverine Toy”

    Reply
  23. Mostest

    Well, there’s nothing gay about it if you buy them for your daughters.
    See, you’ve just got a dirty mind.

    Reply
  24. GayChristian

    The more I look at this site, I am convinced the whole thing is intended as satire. Good going, guys! You really had us fooled!

    Reply
  25. confused

    so a toy is going to make my kids gay? what about the gay palm springs ads that are all over this page?

    Reply
  26. Pingback: John Judy’s Blog » Blog Archive » Your Daily “Thing You Can Never Un-See”

  27. Anony

    Honestly for a christian, you do seem to be very prejudice. Whether you like it or not, it is NOT your choice whether people choose to be homosexual or not, that is their choice, even if God says it is wrong, christians are not meant to force religion on people. 2nd, racial prejudice really will get you nowhere in life, except for an angry mob probably.

    Reply
  28. Mister Lover Man

    Very good points by the original poster. I bought one for my girlfriend so she could practice her oral skills. Also its great practice for her to swallow air loads making it an easier transition to semen

    Reply
  29. missy

    There have been some good points made here. Unfortunately none by the anti-gay writers.

    In regards to the inflatable toy which created the controversy, I see it quite differently. Marvel may have authorized the image on the plastic, but not its placement. It may have been an oversight concerning how the image was printed on the plastic. Or, it may have been an employee joking around to see what he or she could get away with.

    Those who are looking for evil will find it no matter where they look. Just as the so-called Christions who too exception to the original “The Littlest Mermaid” film by Disney. They claimed the castle towers look like penises and dildos. Disney took the film and videos off the market. They redesigned the towers and re-released it.

    This toy should also be taken off the market and redesigned, putting the air valve above Wolverine’s head. Problem solved.

    To the gay and gay friendly posters, I recommend ending the name calling. The use of words to demean and denigrate the anti-gay posters only makes you look bad. Don’t resort to their level.

    In regards to the anti-gay posters, Their words are written in either ignorance or stupidity. I hope it is the former rather than the latter. Ignorance is curable. Stupidity is not and is everlasting.

    Perhaps they should learn what the old Hebrew word which has been translated as “abomination” meant to the Jews of 500 BCE. This was when the first five books of what Christian know as the “Old Testament” were revealed to the Hebrew King and subsequently the people. For those who doubt this, it is a well known historical fact among Christian and Hebrew scholars who study these writings.

    I surmise that most of the anti-gay writers are railing against something they term “the gay lifestyle”. Since gay people have a myriad of lifestyles, I find the idea of a “universal” lifestyle practiced by gay people to be ridiculous.

    Perhaps they mean a hedonistic or a licentious lifestyle. I see many heterosexual people who lead hedonistic and licentious lifestyles. No one prejudice or discrimination against them. No one advocates that because of their lifestyle they should be denied equal civil rights the law or that they be persecuted unjustly.

    Or perhaps these anti-gay folks are referring to sexual practices. Again, there are many non-gay folks who engage in oral and anal sex. No one says word one against them because of their sexual practices. No one advocates the denial of equality in life to these heterosexuals. Why?

    I have also seen the Christian Right also presenting pictures and film clips of gay men clad in leather using whips and paddles on each other. These folks may be gay, but they are part of the “Leather” subculture and not indicative of all gay folks. Just as the many heterosexuals who are part of the “Leather” subculture are not representative of all heterosexuals.

    The biggest lie of the anti-gay crowd is they take things out of context. They take things out of context and they use it against all gay people.

    Just some things to think about.

    My final question to all the anti-gay people, I ask this final question. What would Jesus do? I know that the Jesus I was taught about would never behave in the hateful manner in which you let lead your lives.

    Missy

    Reply
  30. Sally Ingalls

    Not only is this writer spewing hatred against gay people, he’s also a racist. “Black saviour” indeed. Sadly, he cannot spell either – it’s “prey” not “pray.” If there is such a thing as hell, you will likely burn in it for spreading such filth.

    Reply
  31. iron-e

    I love that the ad on right hand side of the page is for a gay dating site. Hopefully this article will result in new found (gay) love.

    Reply
  32. Tyson Bowers III

    Listen GayChristian! The only reason I’m so hard for..on you homogays is because I know that if I don’t smite you right now that I will be subjected to your evil ways! Where you will most certainly try to lure me into hot steamy gay sex with your rock hard dingle dong plunged deep and throbbing into my devil hole. OH GOD I WANT IT!

    Reply
  33. Tyson Bowers III

    Hail Satan! I changed my mind on christianity and such. Now I’m a really cool devil-whorshipper. Come homofolks and love my devilhole, i love it!

    Reply
  34. Llewellyn

    You know what MR …calling yourself a christian and then say Horrible stuff like that is a sin ! You are not allowed to judge other… IF you call yourself a CHRISTIAN act like a CHRISTIAN

    SHAME ON YOU !!!

    Reply
  35. Wolfie

    Thank you, Brother, for helping to keep this filth off of our streets.

    It’s disgusting that they want to normalize homosexual behavior. It’ll eventually make it so much less exciting for me when I engage in the dirty-dirty with other men’s dingledongos.

    Ya see, I can’t help it that I’m a bad, bad boy.

    Reply
  36. Pingback: Is Marvel Creating Toys To Turn Boys Gay? One Jackass Thinks So. | Destructo Co.

  37. Wellin Dowd

    You have to watch out for this kind of underhand methods of sexualising young kids.
    Just the other day I found my five year old daughter naked in the bath with a rubber duck.
    The evil marketers who are trying to normailse beastiality (and in the case above felatio) in the minds of children via the means of plastic playthings should be hung, drawn and quartered.

    Reply
  38. jandro

    it’s spelled “prey” when its something you want to eat. it’s spelled “pray” when you’re talking to yourself.

    Reply
  39. MaxHedrm

    I agree with Llewellyn. Hoping for a fireball to destroy a city doesn’t seem a very “Christian” thing to do. & FYI, I am tracking down this toy & buying a few, just to piss you off.

    Reply
  40. KFP

    I think it’s funny that most super conservative christians think that they will go to heaven for hating when others will go to hell for being tolerant and non-judgmental.

    That being said, how old are you? Is the name calling and immature nicknames really necessary? Calling people ‘queers’, penises ‘twiddle rompuses’, and the president a ‘black savior’ is the least effective way to get your point across and shows your intense stupidity. Many people pointed out your ‘pray/prey’ slip-up, so all I’m going to say about that is that I agree with the person who called it a freudian slip. Either you aren’t very literate, or your hatred is messing with your vocabulary.

    I think it was a slip-up on Marvel’s part. I think you should just calm down and not show your intolerance and ignorance. People will think you are smarter that way.

    Reply
  41. Ronn Kettlehake

    I seriously hope this really is some kind of joke, Tyson, because if it isn’t, you are yet another example of what often makes me embarrassed & ashamed when I have to admit that we are of the same species. Then again, since I’m gay, you probably assume that you are of some sort of “better race” (boy, doesn’t that sound familiar!), so it’s too bad that’s not really the case, it might alleviate some of that shame & embarrassment! I think Green Hellion, Missy & GayChristian (I happen to be one of those myself, BTW! And is also correct in pointing out that MOST PEDOPHILES ARE HETEROSEXUAL & it has nothing to do with gender preference, but, like RAPE, is about control, & self-control seems to be something you are fighting a losing battle with!) summed up everything rather well & quite intelligibly & intelligently (there is a difference, look it up!), but the ornery lil’ “devil” in me just can’t quite resist “going there” when I point out that the next time you’re on your knees “preying” to God, Tyson, you should be proud of yourself, you’ve already mastered one of the essential positions you will find fun & useful when you finally admit to yourself what you have been denying for so long! Sleep well (if you can!) & may God bless & forgive you!

    Reply
  42. Tina Crystal

    Tyson, remember that one time at band camp….when I banged your butthole so hard it sounded like a tuba when you farted.

    Reply
  43. Ronn Kettlehake

    BTW, why IS there so much gay advertising on this site? Don’t most “straight” sites have “straight” sponsors? If your so-called “gay agenda” really existed, don’t you think we would have “influenced” enough straight people by now to have less trouble finding sponsors for gay or gay-friendly sites? Just curious (like you are,right?) God bless.

    Reply
  44. GuywiththeYellowHat

    I’m bi, but lean more towards guys. However, I am not looking for a physical relationship, I’m looking for someone who loves me for who I am, someone who truly cares about me and someone I can feel safe with, in his arms. Someone I can love and care for, because of who he is. Half of what Jesus said-well, it’s distorted in the minds of those with too strong of a belief system. Anybody who says heaven will come on earth, that there will be a physical appearance of a new jerusalem is incorrect. Jesus himself said that heaven will not come the way the world thinks it will-I’ve come to the understanding of what heaven is, by keeping an open mind and heart to jesus’s message. Heaven is the state of being where you’re no longer affected by the troubles of this world-they seem to have left you. Jesus was in heaven, on earth. Indeed, many are even now. It’s the people who are intolerant, who inadvertantly are the ignorant and the same type of people who crucified jesus. His word was Truth, that they couldnt accept, because though they heard his words they had no idea of the meaning-their belief in the old ways of their religion could not accept what the christ was saying, even though their prophecy was written about him. It was their own damning evidence. Their are differing degrees of awareness…if one has a heart of stone, (also read as: easily offended by others) one can’t love his brother as himself. We Bi/Gay/Lesbian/Straights are all brothers, and The Devil is not a physical entity. He is the guilt we feel for our sins, nothing more. Jesus was the son of god, eh? A Son of Light/Truth. That is why he was “The son of God.” If you really believed and knew him, you’d see we’re friends, supporters, and brothers, not something to be detested or despised. If you can’t get past your prejudice, how can you have a wholesome heart?

    I love the one I’m with…he truly cares for me, as I do for him! I’d give anything to be held in his arms, because when I’m with him I feel safe and cared for…and my love and respect for who he is will always be there.

    The Truth will set you free…?

    I am already free, and really happy with who I am. Though me and God might not talk much, I’m truly grateful for the opening of my eyes, and the peace he brings to my life. The bible was written by humans, do not forget…and you shouldn’t take everything personally in it-but I do admit, it is a starting spiritual food. Much can be gained from it-however, eventually you must graduate from it into a wider awareness of spirituality and who you are/who you are going to become.

    Transgender people have much to deal with, so much. I saw one on The Real World, its a TV show. She was beautiful. But most importantly, she had her own big issues to deal with-and having someone like her out in the public like that, it being a tv show and all, was a wonderful thing.

    …it’s bringing to light the humanity evident in each and every person, and helping to widen the perceptions of people out of their prisons and safety of their minds, the thoughts and actions that keep them feeling safe.

    Generally, as these start to weaken, one acts in violent or negative ways, out of fear, because their world seems to be falling down around them. Really its their prison through which they view the world. It can be a big prison, or a small one, with small tiny windows.

    Mine? Mine is…made up of iron gates that are free to open and close at will, with no locks. I can see the door to the outside…I just have a few more steps to clear away my doubts, and deal with some of my personal issues still.

    But with each day that goes by, I am happy. I’ve finally discovered who I am. ^^

    Reply
  45. wildflower

    man…this is possibly the funniest thing i have read all day. i desperately hope this is satire, but it would make it even more hilarious if it isn’t! thanks for the lolz.

    Reply
  46. fallen

    I was completely hetero before seeing this, and I’ve never been so turned on.

    See you guys later, I’m off to the bath house.

    Reply
  47. Frank

    OMG hilarious…so this is like the christian version of the “onion” right?

    I love that you spelled “prey” incorrectly!

    Thank god no christians are actually this retarded…and also love the “Black Saviour” image too….ties our President in with the “Like a Preyer” video!

    Reply
  48. hilsk

    I don’t think Christ ever called people horrible names! The absolute lack of charity is disturbing. Fireball…really? People should speak out about injustices, and about failing morals…but, there is a right and wrong way to do it. And, there’s a helpful and non-helpful way. Negativity does not come from God. I hope your next article is more uplifting.

    Reply
  49. fuck God

    What good has religion done for anyone? Well, its made millions feel much better about their pitiful existence and fooled them into thinking that if they just pray a little bit harder things will get better. And really, if your situation was any better, would you be praying as hard? Do you really think mister mystical being really gives a rat’s ass about your math test or whether or not Kanye gets a fucking Grammy? Yeah, he/she/it took control of those old Jews on the voting committee and made them mark the “X” on that ballot sheet. How self-centered can you get? But it’s like that across the board. People are self-centered and only do things if they think they’ll get something out of it.

    Reply
  50. Jesus

    The best I can say about the author of this blog is that he is afraid of the world around him. Many of us put up this armor to protect ourselves from that which we don’t understand. We call people mean names and attack them for things that we feel seperate them from us. When we don’t understand that we are all connected we put up walls to keep out that which we feel is “bad” not realizing that we are actually creating more seperation which creates more fear. Sometimes it even results in violence. And so begins another cycle of negativity. Negativity however cannot exhist on it’s own. It’s dependent upon the attention of other negative actions and thoughts. I suggest we allow the negativity to stop now. Don’t comment on this or any of his hatefull posts anymore. If anything send this man your love and wish him well. Pray fir him to find peace within himself and maybe he can learn to express himself in a way that promotes thy peace to his fellow human beings. Don’t feed him more of what his ego desires. You cannot attack the darkness that has pervaded his soul, you can only shine the light on it and hope for the best. Until he finds his own way out of the darkness he will continue to live in the he’ll that he wishes upon everyone else.

    Reply
  51. Gabriel

    Sir why are you asking God to send a giant fire ball into the center of SF?
    There are Christians living there too! :S

    Reply
  52. ojuice3112

    I love this website. Nothing brightens up my day more than reading your articles and laughing out loud (it really IS the best medicine). The best part of it is I know its all a joke. I know it a joke because if it were real, it would be f***ing terrifying.

    Reply
  53. A. Piece

    Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
    created a pussy to their design.
    First was a butcher,
    with smart wit,
    using a knife,
    he gave it a slit,
    Second was a carpenter,
    strong and bold,
    with a hammer and chisel,
    he gave it a hole,
    Third was a tailor,
    tall and thin,
    by using red velvet,
    he lined it within,
    Fourth was a hunter,
    short and stout,
    with a piece of fox fur,
    he lined it without,
    Fifth was a fisherman,
    nasty as hell,
    threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
    Sixth was a preacher,
    whose name was McGee,
    he touched it and blessed it,
    and said it could pee,
    Last was a sailor,
    dirty little runt,
    he sucked it and fucked it,
    and called it a cunt.

    Reply
  54. A.O.G

    honestly this is just ridiculous, im christian myself and the nonesense that you’r spouting is just ouright stupid. if you were really a christian, you would know better than to judge others, because; 1.thats not YOUR job 2.jesus himself said not to judge others unless you yourself were free of sin, and 3.unless you’ve never sinned in your life(and if u say you have, thats blasphemy and your going to hell for it)shut up, get a life and leave the judging to God

    Reply
  55. Jake

    Even an obvious hoax brings out the laughably paranoid and disturbingly judgmental Christians …

    I have never pretended to expect even basic journalistic (or otherwise) integrity from many them anyway, so I can’t say I am surprised.

    Reply
  56. Tommy

    As you’ve no doubt found out by now, the Wolverine blowup toy was a dumb joke, nothing but a fraud.

    But I think it’s interesting that you say child molesters wait until “the ripe age of 12″ before being forced to kiss older men’s “dingle dongs.” I think it’s also revealing that you describe these abused children as being new “pray” instead of prey.

    When this happened to you, did you blame yourself? Did you think you didn’t pray enough, or weren’t a strong enough Christian, or weren’t worthy of being spared? Seriously, you were a child. Whatever sexual abuse you suffered was NOT your fault, and while you keep thinking attacking homosexuals will somehow make you feel better, you know that it hasn’t.

    Please talk to someone you trust. I don’t care if you keep writing bad things about gays. To be honest, you come across as hysterical instead of rational, so it’s difficult to take anything you say seriously.

    But I do worry about you. I could be very wrong. Maybe sexual abuse is not the reason you’re so angry and hurt. Maybe it’s something else entirely. But please, talk to someone about it. It’s obvious you are carrying a lot of pain, and you deserve better. Please talk to someone you trust.

    Reply
  57. Gary

    Is this shallow man saying that all it would have taken for him to be gay was either a toy that had the bloy up port over a drawn on pelvis or some man interested in him? Wow, he certainly gives people no credit. There is no way, no matter how devoted he tried, that any man could have ever turned me gay. Frankly, I am so tired of my brothers in Christ using gay men as some sort of targets. We have followed Christ’s teachings as best we could – we do not claim as others do that we know everything – and we are just not led by the spirit to read anything from Jesus denouncing gays. WE are, after all, CHRISTIANS. No offense inteneded to or Hebrew brethren, but the Old Testament was not written by anyone who knew Christ.

    My friends I bessech you. Remember that even if you believe you can divine some anti-gay messages from locations in the bible, don’t you beleive that if Jesus and the Father had intended homosexuality to be treated with one tenth of harshness we dole out in their name, Jesus would have told us, “My children remeber, homosexuality is disgusting to me, my father and the spirit.”? Look, divorce is strongly condemned six times in the New Testament, and there is nothing like the anti-gay furvor focused on divorcee’s, not that I believe there should. Why is it that none of this energy that is demanding gays to renounce their sexuality is focused on getting Christians to return to their first marriage?

    Remember John 13, verse 34, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Seems pretty straight forward to me.

    Go with the blood of the lamb.

    Reply
  58. Gary

    This also reminds me of the Christian uprage a decade or so past regarding the “penises” on The Little Mermaid video. Many of our sexually repressed brother and sisters found penises in the spires of buildings. It sure seems that there are a number of people out there looking for penises more than the gays. It says a great deal about someone – sort of the Christian Rorsach test.

    Please, my friends, our energies and frankly our finanical resources are needed elsewhere. Let us serve the lord with peace and love.

    Reply
  59. Unholy demon

    Hahaha so pathetic as a blow up toy is meant to make kids turn gay is not gonna happen as sexuality is how your born not what u play with .

    Reply
  60. C

    Racist bastard. I hope God punished YOU for being cruel and closed minded. Oh and suggesting a black man is the devil.

    I thought that bullshit was behind us.

    Reply
  61. Anonymous

    You know what scares me more than the toy?

    That you would rather condone the burning of children then children playing with a TOY! You really need to consider mental assistance.

    Reply
  62. fan

    I just want to say that golden age batman made me gay and wonder woman in her skin tight outfit made me want to become transgendered lol lol lol lol lol lol

    Reply
  63. Pingback: Homogay Agenda Making STD Toys to Make Their Diseases Look Cute | ChristWire

  64. yermama

    there is only one who is fit to judge, and you can damn sure bet you sweet ass that it isn’t a single one of the christians currently walking the face of this planet. buncha damned hypocrits. everytime you judge somebody for being gay, a different color, or anyhting else you’re just telling God that he isn’t doing things well enough for you. enjoy your time burning in hell fools…

    Reply
  65. happy hallowe'en

    the belief, that some cosmic jewish zombie, who is his own father, can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul, that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. – makes perfect sense.

    Reply
  66. Pingback: College Humor Now Promotes Homo Gay Toys | ChristWire

  67. Pingback: Lady Gaga Evolves A Secret Penis | ChristWire

  68. jesus h. christ

    i can’t believe you people, youu’re all even gayer than the ‘fags’ you ‘hate’ wanna know why your ‘god’ doesn’t do anything about the people you don’t like? because he isn’t real. why don’t you fags go molest some deaf boys. i’m sure your beloved pope will cover it up. YOU’RE ALL THE SAME. PATHETIC. i can only hope someday my beautiful planet will be stripped clean of all you blasphemous cunts. way to go. fuck you all

    love,

    jesus h. christ.

    Reply
  69. Pingback: Comic Book Creators Now Corrupt Disney Princess With Sexy Poses | ChristWire

  70. Michaelb

    Do christians even understand the idea of love? Their idea is so fucked its not even worth talking to them. AFTER READING THIS ARTICLE. OBVIOUSLY NOT. it seems you people are too insensitive and ignorant of things around you to truly understand life you just use the bible to fuel all of your hatred towards certain groups of people. YOU USE THE BIBLE AS YOUR COCK. THE BIBLE EXPLAINS NOTHING! hide behind the lies of the bible, hide from modern science and reasoning. but it wont take long until your doomsday.

    Reply
  71. bill bong

    it is not the Gay San Fran crowd you should keep an eye on – it is the gay-bashing, closeted pedophile priests who are buying these toys to take home to lure innocent kids. or maybe secretly your getting a few yourself for a little bathtime fun – which as far as i am concerned is ok, and none of my business.

    Reply
  72. Tyson Bowers IIINeoconstipated Post author

    Notice how the homogay apparatus is shaped like a mother’s milk dispenser niplet. This allows an unsuspecting christian child of 12, only months waned from mother suckling to feel the relatively familiar shape. This is designed not only to entice the child but to train in the mouth exercising needed to stimulate a homogay partner. The child uses natural saliva combined tongue to head swirling action to inflate the evil apparatus in training for gloryhole gobbling of gay goop.
    This needs to be stopped immediately.

    Reply
  73. Pingback: Super Hero Comics Cause College Girls to Take More Raunchy Facebook Pictures | ChristWire

  74. Kaijukrash

    You guys are aware that it was(and maybe still is) common practice in various monasteries to take boy lovers from among the initiates as well as to have prostitutes brought in. This was considered the lesser of two evils.
    Taking a wife was considered the greater evil.

    Nice religion ya got there.
    For followers of a faith that has long standing traditions of torture, murder, rape, war, self mutilation, pedophilia, pederasty and other nice things to do to people you all sure know how to throw stones.

    If you want people to take your book more seriously and blindly believe without question that it is the word of some cosmic being than you might want to start addressing the few thousand years of abominations visited on others by your people instead of simply pointing out were you think others have gone wrong

    Reply
  75. Pingback: Comic Legends: Is This Suggestible Wolverine Toy For Real? - CBR

  76. Adam Nelson

    It’s all one in the same. Both are sinful, though I do give Marvel some credit for getting all those immoral images taken down on the homogay scans daily community.

    Reply
  77. Adam Nelson

    How is that possible? Are you implying that Tyson is a tart who reinserts himself into a toaster?

    Or are you not educated enough when you immorally attack a person’s character and attempt to use ‘retarded’? Keep practicing your American, friend.

    Reply
  78. GayChristian

    OOPs…didn’t get finished! Thank you Adam for being such an ignorant, close-minded ass…you should know about oxymorons as you are a moron.

    And anon…thank YOU for supporting my statement!!

    Reply
  79. T-man

    ok, now wait a minute. let’s look at what we can find positive about this new item. what about all the little lesbians-in-the-making that are into comics. this might just turn ’em straight. see, they aren’t homo supporting, they are trying to cure the lesbians.

    Reply
  80. Taranis

    GayChristian dude, you post with all the bible verses and linking them to today is freaking awesome! I have no problem with gay people at all. Some are born like that and some choose to live that way, doesn’t make them any less of a person. Doesn’t make them horrible people that should be publicly burnt at a stake. They’re people, just like everyone else, just living their life how they feel they should live it. I’d rather be neighbours with a gay couple than neighbours with a single mom who keeps popping out kids she can’t afford and then bitch to everyone to give her money. If anything, gay people are doing the world’s population a favour. Just because you weren’t chosen to save the species doesn’t mean you should be assholes to them.

    Reply
  81. corn

    GayChristian, since nobody answered your questions, I’ll try to. The ten questions you asked are basically irrelevant today because Old Testament law no longer applies to Christians. Christ fulfilled the sacrificial requirement for the atonement of sins when he died on the cross, and thus freed us from Old Testament law. In its place, we are under the Law of Christ, which basically is, “Love God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself.” because “All of Moses’ Teachings and the Prophets depend on these two commandments.”.

    References: Galatians 3:13, Ephesians 2:15, Galatians 6:2, Matthew 22:37-40

    Reply
  82. GayChristian

    Thank you, but I can’t take the credit for that..the text was in an email I received recently, but I thought it made some great points. My background is that I was married and very active in the church….am a parent…and was a committed and loving spouse til the spouse had an affair. I raised my child from a very young age by myself and am in a relationship now and my child is very accepting (and guess what people….my child turned out straight).

    Reply
  83. Tyson Bowers III

    I have 1,000 youth kids each year and they don’t have sinful parents like yourself. Sticking your thing into another mans devil hole is the sickest thing in the world! I bet you and your lover touched your children a time or two as well. Homos are known for that trait.

    Reply
  84. GayChristian

    Do you have any children? First of all, we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. So, I guess your sins will be visited on your children too…if you have any. I doubt you do as you look as gay as an Easter parade. And I rebuke you and your curse.

    Reply
  85. Dan Merfeld

    “I pray everyday that God sends a fire ball right into the center of that city!”

    So since I originally read this, I have started to pray that God doesn’t send a fireball right into the center of the city. In fact, I – furthered the scope of my prayer to include the entire globe. And to the best of my knowledge I have yet to see a fireball destroy any city!

    Looks like God was listening to me. Oh the power of prayer!!

    Oh, and while we were chatting God told me to tell you to shut the fuck up and stop pawning your version of morality off as inspired by him. (I know the mouth on our God, I was surprised too.)

    He thinks you’re a douche bag and he regrets ever creating you.

    He also seemed really pissed that he’s credited with the writing of the bible at all. I guess he wrote a version but the editors (probably a group of fuck-tards like you) ruined it completely. He promised that for the second coming he’ll make sure to retain creative rights over the entire project.

    Oh, and stop cutting little boy’s penises in his name!!

    The only thing that can be clear from this website is that you – like so many – misuse religion for your own benefit. It allows you to pass judgement upon anyone you dislike or who disagrees with your views on spirituality or morality. It makes you feel empowered to hold dominion over everyone else.

    Sorry to disappoint, but you’re just like everyone else, and you have no secret powers that give you the right to judge anyone. Including the people you hate most.

    Couple of quotes from JC that did make the final draft:

    “Judge not, lets ye be judged.”

    “What you do to the least of my people, you do on to me.”

    Reply
  86. Gary

    Well, if that’s the case, how are there gay people. Every gay person I know was raised by straight parents – many is a devoted Christian family. Hmmm, how can that be? Ther was one boy in our church who, at 4 or 5, even the blind knew was gay. This boy was far too young to make any decision about his sexuality, but it was obvious. He grew up to be an incredibly important member of our congregation and his partner has been welcomed for a number of years. I really want to stay loving and try to be understanding, but these comments really hurt the Christian image. We must stop attacking, we do not need a “Common enemy” in humanity to continue God’s work. Our common enemy is Satan.

    Reply
  87. GayChristian

    Freja, you are right. Me thinks the lady (Tyson Bowers) doth protest too much! I think he is latently homosexual. Otherwise, he would not have the need to search for gay stuff….he has an obsession with it. You can’t stir it, if it isn’t in the pot.

    Reply
  88. GayChristian

    I think you may be projecting your innermost desires on others. I would not trust you within 10 feet of a child. No, my child has never been “touched” as you say. I, my dear, have no desires of children. Most pedofiles are hetero, which may or may not rule you out. And “devil hole”? Grow up! God created us in his image, so what are you saying about God? You are perverted and sickening.

    Reply
  89. Tyson Bowers III

    No it just means you left the light to join satan. No hetros don’t rape children. They are truly homos themselves. The only reason you visit this site is because you feel the true power and want to be saved from your sick lifestyle you CHOOSE to live.

    Reply
  90. GayChristian

    Well, I couldn’t respond to your last idiotic statements in the correct thread as there was no respond button. So, I will say that I am through with your hate and will not fight with you. I was told to never fight with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it. We will see who is in heaven.

    Reply
  91. Love Gods Way

    Mr. Bowers is right. All homos will burn in Hell. It is against Gods divine will that they exist, and that is simply the end of the matter.

    Reply
  92. SwedishLady

    Devil hole? DEVIL HOLE? That is the most hilarious thing I’ve read today. Thank you, sir. I love you christian fanatics – you always make me roll on the floor laughing (laughing my ass off, that is – maybe I should say “devil hole off” from now on? Hahaha!). Take care now. *hugs you and thanks you again for making the start of my day a good one!*)

    Reply
  93. Gary

    Ok, this comment proves it. This guy is pulling someone’s leg. It’s a real joke, maybe a bad one, but a real one. No one talks like that. Mr Bowers is probably an anagram. Anyone want to give it a shot. un-anagram his full name?

    Reply
  94. Chris Weir

    they are truely homo?

    What? A classic example of circular logic.

    It goes like this:

    “Homosexuals cause homosexuals, why? because Most paedophiles are homosexual” (false 1 to 1 relationship here also)

    “But most paedophiles are heterosexual”

    “Nah, but really” (makes up a fact to fill in the loophole), “those paedophiles aren’t really heterosexual, there also still in the closet.”

    Reply
  95. Freja

    Not necessarily. He could just be a very misguided individual out to cause trouble. He needs a big hug.

    I was raised Roman Catholic. RC is all about the forgiveness and being gay is generally frowned upon but I know if I came out to most people they’d totally forgive me. So I’ll forgive the idiot author of this riddiculous post. If he says sorry to all the people he’s potentially offended with it.

    Reply
  96. Lunabelle

    It makes me sad that you said “IF I came out everyone would *forgive* me”. . . Any religion that makes you feel like you have to be forgiven just for being who you are is not healthy. You say this like “everyone” who’s opinion you value is above you or better than you just because they are attracted to a different sex. We all have the same divine spark within us and we are all connected. The hatred this Tyson Bowers is spewing is pure ego and about as far from the light of God as one can get. God is love and connectedness, not hatred and separation. Peace and healing to you both.

    Reply
  97. That Guy

    You see, hell-preaching is the true reason why normal people are scared into this cult you call Christianity. It wasn’t even taught in the original Greek/Hebrew versions of the Bible.

    Reply
  98. Anonymous

    hope they have tanner!
    Man, if there trully is some crap like that shouldn’t it be a sin throwing anyone there??????

    Reply
  99. Tyson Bowers III

    I really think you should stop pretending like you are the real TYSON BOWERS III because it is VERY obvious that you are not! The REAL TYSON love gay dingle dongs. I know that because I have one in my devil hole RIGHT NOW!

    Reply
  100. Tyson Bowers III

    Hello Mike, thank you for defending me, but you know that comment you were refering to isn’t actually that wrong. I’m really fed up on the church, because of their intollarant attitude towards homosexual people. I must confess that my aggressive attitude towards homosexuals was more like a protective one, cause I knew that my friends would turn their backs on me, if they knew that I was a rear gunner.
    It wasn’t all that bad, after my outing, a few friends of mine, were a little confused, but they’re still my friends.

    Reply
  101. Kathy

    I am very religious having grown up in the church my entire life. I have never in my life met anyone that is as racist and closed-minded as you. It is not YOUR job to sit and judge, it will be GOD’S job to do so when he returns. Shame on you for writing such trash.

    Reply
  102. Trav

    You hypocrite, you claim to follow God’s will and his rules, but the bible itself states that “the power of judgment is mine (god) alone”. You fuckers should just go burn yourselves for casting judgment on people on his behalf, that’s not what God wants, God wants people to love one another unconditionally, and for us to bring those people who are lost and LOOKING for a place to belong to bring them into the fold and provide a family of faith for them. This Evangelical concept of “god’s soldiers” is what will lead you straight to hell for warmongering.

    Reply
  103. clay

    This guy is not religious.
    I can almost guarantee that he is a liberal gay man simply trying to push his agenda by pretending to be so weird. He trys to make Christians seem out of touch with reality. I pity him.

    Reply
  104. Lee

    No dear, she is saying that “prey” is something a predator hunts and that “pray” is when you sit on the floor talking to yourself. “Prayer” is essentially the substance of the message one intends to send to God while sitting on the floor talking to oneself. I don’t know the word “preyer” you used, but Mirriam Webster seems to suggest it is somewhat synonymous to predator.

    Please – just admit it, you made a typo, wee awl du.

    Reply
  105. Rachel

    You are exactly right..this site is a joke. It’s connected to the people from “the Onion”…it’s a satire. That’s what is so funny…it’s compleatly absurd but yet a few take it serious supporting the content of this site…or more likley they are in on the joke and just adding the fule to the fire to get the ones who actually take it as fact to say even more absurd things.

    Reply
  106. Amber Cooper

    No, it’s ok for cities to be judged. Remember that Soddom was struck down with an asteroid because all the men there were gay. God’s anger also boiled over from the volcano Mount Vesuvious and burned the ancient city of Pompeii with fiery lava, because all the people there were worshiping false gods and being too gay friendly.

    Reply
  107. Lee

    Now please Amber, tell me you’re joking. Saying that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because the people were gay is like saying you through out that moldy cheese because it was yellow. Even if one were to take that parable, story, fiction as a real fact, it’s not about sex between men. Many theologists have suggested it is more a story of hospitality, a considerably more weighty topic at the time. Remember, you are superimposing your views of homosexuality, based on what you are thinking today, on the story written so long ago. It seems that the most common intepretation says that the cities were filled with homosexuals. Adding the angels didn’t change that. The anal sex between men was happening before the angels arrived, so if God wanted to destroy these cities because there were men having sex with men, he certainly would not have to wait until the angels arrived. The story speaks of how these angels were treated by the residents of the city – and there was never any sex between the men of the cities and the angels anyway in that story.
    This is just another example of how our accepted interpretation of these stories goes so far afoul.

    Reply
  108. Lee

    Look at that Christ Switch. That is used in the seminary to get the Priests into the molestation mindset.

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Unholy demon Cancel reply