Ever wanted to know if the Pokemon collecting family down the street has secret ties to plot the next Pearl Harbor bombing? Want to know if Mr. and Mrs. Wong Tong pray to a sickle and a hammer? Well now with huge advancements in technology you can simply capture a photo of the side eyes and digital technologies within your camera can scan them for any signs of red commie blood.
The new camera works in a very simple way. The camera snaps a photo of the yellow tail and scans their faces through a database of known communist. If a match comes back positive, a red square will frame around their face and the location of the photo and the image itself is uploaded to your nearest homeland security office.
What is so ingenious about this technology is, that Asians love to take photos. You see them do it all the time. 90% of photos upload to the internet are of Asians. Now we have a way to monitor them, by using their daily actions against them.
This technology must be extremely advanced, as we all know every one of these little Kamikazes look exactly alike. Thank God for our nerds! Now if we could only make some heat seeking homo missiles.