Princess Peach’s Pool Party – The First Nintendo Wii 2 Video Game Uncovered

Nintendo has announced it will be releasing a new console called “The Wii 2″ which is a upgrade from their first sin-sational console “The Wii”. The name “Wii” is a homo erotica communist term that means “Wiener” or “Tentacle Sex”. With the Wii 2, the communist Japanese want to push the envelope, by making the games more sex packed and filled with more communist, baby eating Hentai porn.

With its release it will include a game called “Princess Peach’s Pool Party” and this game is nothing short of a demon spell of homosexual urges.

This game is pretty much a digital topless pool party, filled with 8-bit sin snakes and RGB moist camel humps.

Let’s look at some of the different types of side games your kids will be wii-ing with.

Snorting Mushrooms

Did you know ever since the creation of Mario Bros, the increase of mushroom induced sex acts has been on the rise? Did you know that kids now think that taking a rainbow joy ride on Satan’s highway is normal and not sinful? Well wait until your kids are lining up at Circuit City to get their hands on a game that shows kids how to buy “Shrooms” from Drug Lord Koopa!

The object of this side game is for kids to try and collect as much sin candy in 60 seconds and then see who can get their character to “Epic High Status”. The player who has the highest THC levels at the end of the round wins.

Lesbian Spin the Bottle

Did you know nintendo has been behind the current movement of lesbians? Every since the creation of the Princess Peach character, college dorm rooms have been filled with hordes of sex filled lesbian pillow fights and late night lipstick tongue play.

In this section of the game it asks for 4 to 6 female players to stand around a table and spin the Wii 2 controller. The player will spin the controller and when it lands on another female player, they must partake in a full sin marinated lip lock until the Princesses 60 second timer goes off. If the players finish this kiss of death, they are award points. If they do not finish, they are asked to removed a article of clothing.

Sex Gangbang Bonus Rounds

If you think this game couldn’t get anymore vile, you’re completely wrong. In this bonus round, 6 player are told to hold their Wii 2 controller in a vertical position and shake it up and down as fast as possible. The faster they go the faster their character performs a twiddle rompus to babyhole act on the Princess Peach. Each player tries to fight over who can enter the Princesses sin cave and the person with the most “entries” wins.

We need to rid the world of slanty technologies that harm our children. We need to take control of our country and remind Japan and China of the day their country went nuclear.

67 thoughts on “Princess Peach’s Pool Party – The First Nintendo Wii 2 Video Game Uncovered

  1. Amber Cooper

    I do not even know where to start on this one. We bought a Wii for family time when it was released, especially after hearing about the sporting games. It seemed innocent and fun. Most of the titles for the Wii seemed really good too, unlike the war gaming system from Microsoft (X box?)

    This is really disturbing, to see the evolution of the Wii. It went from family friendly to the vibrating of the controllers being used for download games where players can “M”. Now this one?

    I should have known to not trust a Chinese gaming system and it really seems the images here seem like anime (Asian pornography). I think I’ll talk with my family after this review and let them know we’re throwing the Wii out. This is just too much and very disturbing.

    Reply
    1. Bryan C

      Yes, I’m entirely shocked also. That a site that purports to be viable news spews such hatred and insanity. Good luck with the Zombie Apocalypse. The xbox war MACHINE! Come on!! Waaaaaaar! Oh, btw your “war machine” may stop obesity w/ the Kinect.
      By the way, check out the music of : Chelsea Grin, Acacia Strain, and The Black Dahlia Murder.

      I’d love to see an article reviewing the nature of this music.

      Have a great day!

      Reply
    2. Author Is a Joke

      I cant believe you would really believe in this bullshit? Instead of listening to an author who is only trying to polarize and him, his self is sinning (i.e lying) how but you check a viable source such as Gameinformer.com instead of being ignorant.. This entire site is awful… This is a joke and I’m sure the devil himself is the the author for this ignorant, sin filled article.

      Reply
    3. Appauled Intellectual

      This article is filled with total nonsense. I’d like to see some of your sources for this material, because I don’t believe a THING!

      I went on multiple gaming store websites including GameStop, Gamefly, Best Buy, and did NOT see this game in any searches. You must be really good at editing photos or browsing on Four Chan, because this repulsive “game” apparently does NOT exist.

      I have a Wii, and I can tell you that the system IS a family gaming system. If you don’t like a game or two that they have produced for it, simply avoid it. I have 4 of the Super Mario games, and there aren’t and there have never been sexual references in them. So, if you have one, don’t throw it away, simply avoid games that you think contain too much violence. They don’t make sexually explicit games for Wii.

      Reply
    4. Jake

      I am shocked that you actually believe a word of what this website says. If you had taken five minutes out of your day to actually look at some of the other articles on this website, you would have instantly seen that this whole thing is just a joke. It has either merely been posted to provoke a slight chuckle, or the journalists need to straighten out their facts quickly. Have any of you noticed that pretty much the only people supporting this article have real pictures for their icon meaning that they are moderators in these comments and are therefore in on the joke? I am only in 8th grade, but I know how to articulate my thoughts and I think that some of you need to hear the opinions of the children who actually play the games and consoles that are reviewed on this website. First of all, for all those people who actually believe that this is a true Christian website, I dont think that calling other human beings “racist, self-righteous, bastard, son-of-the-devils” or “ignorant fucks” is really being a good Christian. I am astounded that people of the Christian faith, or any other faith for that matter should be racist against other countries. I am 13 and I already know this, but apparently a lot of adults don’t. Making fun of the facial features and political standpoints of China is downright unacceptable in civilized society. Also, I am annoyed with responses that show an obvious lack of research. Not to be a tutor on how to write responses, but right now in my Internet browser I have about 10 different tabs, each with a different video or web page about Nintendo wii products and upcoming features for them. I can safely say that pornographic software is not among the plans for future consoles.
      Moving on, just to clear up an obvious misconception, anime is a Japanese comic book. They are about as thick as a full length novel and are read from the back to the front. Google: Friuts Basket anime book to see what it is. Anime has nothing whatsoever to do porn. Hentai is Japanese porn. It is not even remotely the same as anime. 
      Moreover, the main picture of the article of the cover of the “game” has a huge watermark on it obviously meaning that someone wants to take credit for the amazing job they did photoshopping it. As stated somewhere else in the comments, this person should get a real job as a graphic artist instead of wasting their time writing for this website. If you still are not persuaded that this website is for humor, I invite you to take a look at two of the most humorous statements in the review for Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. 

      They will make children pretend to be the protagonist of the game, and elfin child named “Link”. Link is Chinese for “gay elf”

      This is just obviously made up.

      This game is meant to cause confusion in our sons and make them weak, so when the Chinese come over to attack us with their terror armies all our video game wielding sons can think to do is frolic around like a dainty elf child and play their fantasy games when in reality, the Chinese have been training their children in intense war games.

      And another obvious untruth.

      Finally, is tells us to look at the IGN review for the game which gives it a 10/10 and rates it everyone ten and up.

      So please, in the future, read this site and others like it for its comedy, not its facts.

      Reply
  2. Are you forreal

    Wow I just found this site today and it has been a laugh fest, but this one takes the cake. If the writer actually believes what was said, well hopefully they have padded walls where you sleep because this is nuts. But as a piece of fiction… This is amazing stuff. Why waste yout talent on this nonsense. You should be writing for a sketch comedy show or somethin. BTW circuit city went out of business years ago. Obviously this is your one factual error, I’ll let it slide. Lol

    Reply
  3. Jack Gould

    This reminds me of the anime festival I witnessed when doing mission work in Japan last year. Anime is the Japanese word for pornography and now it looks like they are porting it into this new version of the Nintendo Wii.

    Reply
    1. bob

      god you are a dumb fuck

      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
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      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
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      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
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      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
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      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
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      henti is the Japanese word for pornography
      henti is the Japanese word for pornography

      Reply
      1. Korra

        Hello, I just wanted to say that. “henti” is not the word for pornography in japan. Its Hentai, and it doesnt mean Porn. Its means “pervert” or “perverted”

        Reply
    2. JDudex1

      Anime does not mean pornography… pornography in Japan is ポルノ (Poruno) i took time in my research rather than photo shopping false crap up

      Reply
  4. Lucifer

    Is this a joke? What kind of filth is this article? Not only is the entire fake and a complete lie, there is nothing that even begins to present a coherent factual concept. For a Christian site, I’d expect some truth out of a man of God, but instead I see a bunch of lies coming from an individual that believes himself to be righteous and the bringer of knowledge to a very blind audience.

    Reply
    1. Christian Intellectual

      This great site is a beacon of morality.

      YOU filthy demon are the Master of Lies and Deception !. GO BACK TO HELL DEMON !!!

      Reply
      1. Author Is a Joke

        shut up you racist self-righteous bastard son of the devil.. Im pretty sure the only thing homo about anything is this god awful site and ignorant fucks like you.

        Reply
  5. Christian Intellectual

    I think that this is the reason God punished the dogeating chineses with a crazy languages and strange eyes.

    I agree with you brother Tyson, America needs to remind those depraved heathens who is in charge. The great Donald Trump already told them who is the boss “Listen you motherfuckers, we’re gonna tax you 25%”.

    Reply
    1. JC

      lmao, you’re retarded…To everyone in the world, YOUR language is the crazy one, the chinese are quite happy with their language. Also, you’re implying that God became angry with “Chinese” video games (which in reality are made in JAPAN MORON!) so God went out of his way to go BACK IN TIME and retroactively give the Chinese slanty eyes?

      Everyone here is currently laughing AT you, moron…

      Reply
      1. Christian Intellectual

        “Also, you’re implying that God became angry with “Chinese” video games (which in reality are made in JAPAN MORON!)”

        Japan is a communist state of china.

        “so God went out of his way to go BACK IN TIME and retroactively give the Chinese slanty eyes? ”

        God is beyond time, beyond space and beyond human comprehension, GOD CAN DO ANYTHING !.

        Reply
        1. Sith Lord

          Ummm noooo China is a communist state in asia
          Japan is a island nation off the coast of asia that is democratic

          Japan and China have had rough relations for hundreds if not thousands of years.

          You are a little homophobe who was brought up by your radicalized parents who most likly beat you with a bible if you didnt do what they said.. I feel sorry for you

          Reply
  6. Jack Gould

    I sent out an alert and Derek Manstrahm was first to post back with this article from the IGN community. It seems this “Wii 2″ or Codename “Project Cafe” is set for a 2012 launch. http://wii.ign.com/articles/113/1135489p1.html

    It is not customary for a gaming console to be released so rapidly from the prior. I think they are going to try to capitalize on sexualized marketing and the 3d technology that will be apparently built into this console.

    If the “Princess” character will be nude in this game, the players can see her nudity in 3 dimensions. It will be a real life strip show in your living room.

    Reply
    1. Steve

      You can’t be serious. I thought one of the ten commandments included not lying? How about stop lying and trying to brainwash people. Nintendo has an image to uphold. They are the most family oriented videogame company in the business. They would never release anything like the made up game in this article. Don’t believe these lies people.

      Reply
      1. Adam Nelson

        You really cannot presume to lecture a man such as Jack on ethics, Steve. Are you really trying to make the case that the Wii is a moral console?

        Reply
          1. Thalmor

            you know what don’t put your noses in on what you don’t know the reason the wii u is being released early is because the wii didn’t have games for hardcore gamers with good games like skyrim and batman arkham city Milk Drinkers

        1. L.N

          Seeing as how it’s made by a Japanese company and how you hate anything non-American, doesn’t that make your question a trick question? You think it’s immoral simply because a Japanese company made it. Something isn’t moral to you unless it was American-made and made by-and-for Christians, and ONLY if they have a stance of ‘white people are better’ and ‘down with gays’.

          Reply
    2. Author Is a Joke

      Mario Bros is a fucking child’s game you dumbass! Why would they ruin their reputation to make a disgusting 3D game with Princess Peach naked? Shit there are porn website where you can watch the real thing! You are such an ignorant shit Im almost saddened that people like you can even vote! This website is the most propaganda bullshit I have ever came across on the internet!

      Reply
  7. Steve

    I hope no one here actually believes this article. Nothing in that article is true. If you do believe it you are a very gullible person.

    Reply
  8. Blanche Beecham

    We purchased a Oui and really grew as a family playing some of the sport games and encouraging each other on the OuiFit+.

    All that began to change when the pastor’s son mention to the kids a Bible inspired game, Resident Evil 4. This game changed my family from a bowling team to zombie chasing replicator killing machine that can tap out a tune on an infinitely loaded Chicago Typewriter.

    I am so thrilled that the maker (CRAPCOM)of this RE4 decided to not produce the next installment for the Oui. Our family has since been through Jesus camp and counsel to rid ourselves of this parasite.

    All things are possible with God’s love.

    BB

    Reply
    1. SilentEcho

      first its now Oui, but Wii. second, why would you buy your children Resident Evil 4 without even doing research on it.

      Reply
    1. L.N

      If you can snort a mushroom, I’ll be impressed. Since, ya know, mushrooms are ingested, seeing as how there’s a non-drugged kind or whatever that’s easily consumable and gotten in any store.

      Reply
  9. Dan Nordgren

    The IGN website revealed the new controller. If this is 3d boys can hide under the covers and become excited with sin by seeing Peach’s milksacks and exposed flapping area. It is really sick.

    [img]http://wiimedia.ign.com/wii/image/article/113/1135489/everything-we-know-about-wii-2-20110427062320281.jpg[/img]

    Reply
  10. Steve

    Oh okay now I feel silly. I didn’t realize this was a joke website. Makes sense now. You guys almost got me.

    Reply
  11. Author Is a Joke

    Wait a minute… Either this is the most right-winged propaganda I have ever came across or I have just been trolled o_O

    Reply
  12. Commander Cody

    ok mr. tyson Bowers the 3rd you obviously now nothing of or about the video game world or industry. where ever your getting your facts from is total bull shit. there is no such system or game coming out by those names that you have stated. you obviously didn’t check your facts or your information. as a gamer my self im very angry that you slander the good name of Nintendo
    as a journalist im appalled and mortified that you and your site prints such lies. im surprised that Nintendo doesn’t own your ass for slander right now.
    and finaly as a Christan and a conservative, i believe that you have made an ass out of your self sir. its not right to lie and spread fear like this when there isnt any. there is a special place in hell for people who lie. have fun with eternal damnation for your blatant and unproven lies.

    Reply
  13. The truth

    I do hope everyone realizes this whole site is entirely fictional and a joke. It’s just a parody site haha.

    Reply
  14. Raziel

    You people well believe ANYTHING huh? This is fake! Do your own research. Enter this in google and see for yourself that the only results you get is of this website.

    Reply
  15. lizzy

    i am 99% sure this website is a fake and the people behind it are getting a kick of us being so shocked at the high degree of ignorance lol (tysonbowersiii.com creators.. good joke!!)

    Reply
  16. Bonvolio Demanche

    Oh, good Lord, people. At least try to find something slightly true!

    Please, please, please post something that actually has me thinking about how to disprove your theories! Come on, now! This isn’t a challenge! This is a farce. Please come up with something people can laugh at you and argue with you for, not just laugh at you!

    B.

    Reply
  17. Pingback: Assassin’s Creed Revelations – A Game That Teaches Children How to Murder and Be a Gay Anti-Christ | ChristWire

  18. bdd458

    It’s called “Project Cafe” and IT’S NOT 3-D YOU DUMBFUCKS! NINTENDO WOULD NEVER, EVER PRODUCE ANYTHING RELATED TO PORN! GO SUCK MORE COCK. YOU ALREADY LIKE IT! (Yes caps, I’m really annoyed by this excuse for news).

    Reply
  19. umad

    ‘The name “Wii” is a homo erotica communist term that means “Wiener” or “Tentacle Sex”.’

    lol

    Reply
  20. Avo822

    Your all idiots… People that believe this, people who did research then say they are liars the lot of you…

    THIS IS A TROLL SITE PEOPLE. It is al Saitre. The Authour is sitting at home laughing. Some people are so blind he could slap you and tell you it was a joke and believe it…

    And Anime is not the word for porn you idiots. Even though it has been said I repeate – Hentai is the word for perverted, or Porn. Animie is an art and Cartoon form.

    Imbeciles!

    Reply
  21. Race Kramer

    Ok, first I would like to say that Anime is Japanese cartoons, not porn. There is no such thing as the Wii 2, I read Nintendo Power and it says nothing about any Wii 2. Ninteno games are not Chinese, they are Japanese, there is not 1 Chinese person that works at Nintendo. Oh and by the way peach does not even look like she has any “milksacks” or “exposed flapping area.”

    Reply
  22. Lunar

    I lol’d. I knew that in my counthy catholics are like mad dogs but I didin’t belive that there could be dumber people and… fuck yeah! God has anserwed to my prayers!

    Reply
  23. xyiera

    Word of advice; Don’t believe everything on the internet.
    Another word of advice; Lucifer only killed a couple of people. God, killed over millions. How’s that for “merciful”. Dumbfucks.

    Reply
  24. Steve

    The fact that the picture of the “Princess Peach’s Pool Party” game has a christwire.com watermark over it shows that someone within the christwire organization created this “pornography” or copied it from some website and made it their own. Let those who have not sinned cast the first stone. Whoever within christwire happened to have created this picture (because i can’t find it anywhere else on the internet) has created what you might call pornography, and therefore must have sinned in the process.

    Reply
  25. atheistsrock96

    dude……… do you realy think nintendo would trash everything they’ve earned in a game like that?? by the gay, the graphs are bullshit

    Reply
  26. Christopher lee

    Honestly if anything the princess peach adventure game referenced to a vibrater but still that game was taken of the market only a few weeks after the release

    Reply

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