Masquerading in drug cut Doo Wap hairstyles that a San Francisco street whore transgenetic wouldn’t be caught dead fashioning, a new age of homosexual hipsters are flooding the shorelines of America with tantalizing guitar riffs of anal tingles and gaudy digital BMP drum beats of homosexuality. Armed with pawn shop instruments and dancing like a pot smoking induced Michael J Fox, a new band called “The Drums” has hijacked the Beach Boys and turned them into a mess of musky man sweat and dark alleyway rub and tugs. Bands like these need to realized the only thing good that came out of the 80’s was Reagan and the end of Communist Russia, not faggy feathered locks of Morrissey haircuts and toe tapping hopscotch dancing, with a mix of flailing homosexual hand gestures.
Each member of this band looks like they have lollipop licked one too many skin sticks and you can tell by their eyes that they have a black street coked cane habit. Their music is a mixture of electro techno BPMs and scuttle shuffle guitar progressions and to be honest, I’ve heard more talent out of the voice from that little mentally challenged boy, Quarky, when he sung the theme song to his hit television series, Life Goes On.
The only thing worse than their overly autotuned vocals and off timing melodies, the band’s sense of dress is that of a skid row heroin addict. I mean who in their right mind wakes up in the morning and thinks to put on a sweater that they stole their grandfather and mix match it up with leg warmers and a Calvin Klein scarf? I’ll tell you who, little frolicking homosexuals screaming for attention, that’s who. Just like when a child puts on the wrong colored socks, these boys are begging for mother America to take their hand and clean them up.
In the video below you can see the band thought it would be funny to film themselves running from the police after they were caught having anal sin docking relations on the beach, while they sing their hit pop song “Let us god surfing.” This song, if you listen closely, talks about taking a girl down to the beach and force her to perform a mouth sex act on one’s flesh sword. After the female has been mauled with sexual poison, the song tells kids to tell the girl that they are a homosexual and that they just really want to go surfing on the waves of a mans rough caress and drown in aftershave kisses. You will even hear in the chorus that the lead singer puts in a subliminal message that says “Obama”.
If you want your son or daughter to ride Satan’s surfboard and catch a “sick” wave to his fiery beach bonfire, by all means let them put this band’s album on shuffle/repeat on their Zunes and let them get caught in the riptide of sin. So while you look through you child’s iTunes playlist looking for evil music to delete, please view the graph below and remember by removing this new sandy threat, you are taking action against your child from becoming a beach bum homosexual.