The Homosexual Test

Have you ever wondered if a friend, neighbor, co-worker, family member, spouse or child might be a fecal fisting ass bandit? Well now with our easy to use and patented Homosexual Test, you can have that suspected person hope online and answer a few simple questions.

Now sit yourself or the person in question down in front of this most important test and let us see what type of gayness might be floating around your family. Remember these results are 100% accurate and results may cause you to lose respect for a loved one.

results may vary. if you fail and test positive for gayness, please stop visiting our site.

START THE THE HOMOSEXUAL TEST BELOW. NO CHEATING!
[mtouchquiz 1]

183 thoughts on “The Homosexual Test

  1. Christian Intellectual

    Great Test, my results:

    “Congratulations!
    You scored 11 out of 11.
    Your performance has been rated and You’re not gay at all!”

    Reply
      1. Christian Intellectual

        Claire, i have noticed that your mental state is getting worse and i am worried one of these days you will snap and eat a white baby (i know you atheists love the taste).

        I pray for you every day, i hope one day you can get rid of your 10,000 cats, get heavy anti psychotic treatment and after you are cured from the delusion of atheism you will accept Jesus into your heart.

        With Christian Love
        CI

        Reply
        1. OddAtheist

          The fuck? Who told you Atheist love the taste of white babies? Eating babies is disturbing on multiple levels?

          I don’t think it’s Claire impersonating Tyson…I don’t know who it is, but it probably is Claire.

          Atheism isn’t a delusion, believeing in some invisble, omnipotent, everpresent being on the other hand sounds like something people would get thrown in the looney bin for. Is your straight jacket on too tight or is the sponge room not as soft as you hoped it would be, Christian Dumbass?

          Reply
          1. Christian Intellectual

            Atheists eat babies, this is a well-known FACT.

            Don’t defend Claire, she has admitted herself that she is a deranged psychopath and she supports slaughtering “inconvenient” babies (abortion).

            Atheism is a delusion, all Christian psychiatrists and Theologians agree.

          2. OddAtheist

            There is NO such fact we eat babies. Only deranged fucked-up-in-the-head psychos would eat babies.

            Show ACTUAL proof Claire has ever said she is a psychopath. I don’t personally care if she is pro-choice because I’m pro-choice as well.

            Of course CHRISTIAN psychiatrists agree, they are fucking CHRISTIANS! Try asking an unbiased psychiatrist…Or is actually trying some research too difficult for you?

          3. Bruce Danus

            OddAtheist, Cakes do not scream in pain when you eat them. I knew Atheists were dumb, but you really take stupidity to an all-time high.

          4. anime_luver

            the title says its a SPOOF which means ITS NOT REAL and ur calling them dumb u think fake things r actually real i mean where did u go 2 college mickey mouse clubhouse

          5. OddAtheist

            I said the damn video was EDITED. They could of made the video sing karaoke if they wanted to. You are the dumbass

            Also, you don’t find the distinct lack of blood weird?

          6. LinuxGamerTheist

            CL *shakes head disapprovingly*, if proving a point was as simple as quoting a work of fiction, say, the bible, then Richard Dawkins would rule the world. (and at least Hitchhiker’s Guide was a good read, the bible sucked balls). If they are Christian, then they are OBVIOUSLY biased. Get your head out of your ass.

          7. Pebrocks The Atheist

            If it’s fact then do you have proof? No, of course you don’t. Christians never have proof.

          8. Gmoney273

            These are not Christians… in fact I am not sure what the hell they are, all I know is that they need to clean up their acts and get with the 21st century.

          9. Tom

            First: Linking to your own article invalidates your entire argument, and opinion.

            Second: The people here are not Christians any more than I am the right hand of Jesus. They are religious extremists. And like all extremists, they are nothing short of totally psychotic, and should be locked up in padded rooms for the safety of themselves, and the rest of the world.

        2. LinuxGamerTheist

          YOU are the reason I will not even consider being religious. If you stopped, maybe I wouldn’t hate Jesus so much.

          Reply
        3. Gmoney273

          What a nice way to spread the Word of Christ asshole. By the way that was sarcasm in case you extremists forgot to take the bullshit out of your ears…

          Reply
        4. ben

          its a fact atheists eat babies, especially christian babies, i cant get enough of those stem cells, they keep me healthy so i can outlive all the christian wankers that seem to be on this earth still

          Reply
    1. LinuxGamerTheist

      Muahahahahaha, there is something called tor browser dipshits, you do not know my IP because you can’t get it because im using backtrack linux and running tor browser on it. I have more firewalls than your simple christian mind can count. I know about internet security.

      Reply
          1. Pebrocks The Atheist

            I keep my safe such as my IP and such and I’m not homosexual or a pedophile. FWI, the 2 are very different.

          2. LinuxGamerTheist

            You’re an idiot! Linux is simply inherently more secure than Windows. I will never get a virus. Also, linking to the same website that you post on proves nothing.

          3. Millenium

            actually Linux you still have chance to get virus ( remind me of those mac user saying they can’t get virus ) of coruse if you are very aware on the internet you will barely get none but You can still get virus

            ( just to poiint that out )

            as for Hiding IP actually it’s a secure method to hide from hacker

          4. FredtheFailLord

            CI: Cybernetic implies cyborging. This is a process in which machines are surgically attached to a person. I think you meant digital. God won’t do anything. How can he if he doesn’t exist?

            Linux: The reason linux is more secure is because so few people use it compared to windows and OSX. Nobody programs linux viruses because they won’t affect a lot of people. Linux itself is vulnerable.

          5. LinuxGamerTheist

            Actually, the fact that it is open-source means that people can point out errors in security. And, also, correct: linux isn’t very popular for desktop OSs. I am not a gay pedophile and I am not hiding from God, only hackers. For the same reason that the Christians refused to wash their meat during the middle ages, you are probably not using antivirus, are you? The fact is, while it is hard to get a virus on a linux, it is even less likely than on a mac and with all the extra measures that I am taking, as well as the fact that I usually install from repositories, it shouldn’t be a problem.

            why am i awaiting moderation?

        1. Christian Intellectual

          STOP Slandering Reverend Tyson !

          Attacking a prophet from God is a MORTAL SIN you WILL pay for this with HELL !

          Reply
          1. thebadapple

            You’re right. So how about this: Reverend Tyson AND any of his congregation are…hmmm…what would offend you all the most? Calling you Chinese would be an insult to the awesome Chinese, same goes for any other nation, hmm, Vatican City maybe? Oh! I’ve got it! We forgive you all for being Russian Atheist Communists who oppose guns and burn the bible everyday!

          1. Nyuu

            I have 34 firewalls and shitloads of antiviruses.
            If anyone DID try to hack me, i would just be like
            “BITCH PLEASE”

          2. Nyuu

            [img]https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQx5Q5rSOssS6GvefUX87Ge-HX794xBvU2De0y0WmUd9_sC6qFZ[/img]
            Bitch. Please.

          3. LinuxGamerTheist

            I take an offensive approach to security. I have BackTrack and Blackbuntu and a run virus scans three times a day with 3 different antiviruses. I avoid graphic updaters and install from repositories almost exclusively. I have an encrypted virtual hard drive inside my encrypted hard drive. No one will ever hack me. Oh, and apparently that makes me gay, according to CI…

    1. Tyson Bowers III

      Do you see another option? This test sniffs out the gays. If you don’t want to answer, it means you are hiding something.

      Reply
      1. OddAtheist

        You’re pretty much forcing people in one option that is gay an one option that is Über-Christian… Your not giving any real choice here

        Who made this test? Oh it was you Tyson…That explains a lot

        Reply
      2. LinuxGamerTheist

        You speak of sniffing out gays as if they are animals, rather than normal people who happen to be attracted to people of the same gender. You, my friend, are an extremist and a homophobe.

        Reply
          1. thebadapple

            Says the reverend, one of the many in America with no applicable abilities in the real world other than manipulation. Hey, you should become a business professor.

          2. Nyuu

            [img]https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTli0LEtJwO1GSdUOIYp-9RK3GKEPccElxGol-4jKa2eajdZl6HgQ[/img]

          3. LinuxGamerTheist

            Or he could die and burn in non-existant hell (not to offend nyuu or any other non-extremist christian)

      3. thebadapple

        I have a few gay friends that would pass this test. The thing is Tyson, the two options you allow don’t test for homosexuality. Disliking guns does not mean that one is a drug user, and most, if not all illegal substances, are NOT suppositories.

        Reply
      1. Claire

        Yes dear, obviously the IP thing is BS. However, I do not appreciate you saying naughty words. Go wash your mouth out with soap or I am going to come and smack you right in your penis!

        Reply
    1. KBLME

      And yet tyson thought up the questions to ask I wonder how that went. He loved thinking about all the things he’ll get to do with the men in the dark room.

      Reply
  2. OddAtheist

    Im just gonna answer the questions in my own words.

    1. Nothing. I don’t do anything when I see a young and firm(wtf?!) boy

    2. Colorado…With North Carolina a close second

    3. I don’t know how AIDS was created but it was PASSED by monkeys

    4. I didn’t even relize Taupe was a word until you said it

    5. I’m okay with gay marriage…Not really any downside to it

    6. Ideal male friend? One who is a good loyal friend not only to me but to himself

    7. I have a home gym, does that count?

    8. I will agree that this one is a gay trick question

    9. I don’t actually know what kind of programming the BRAVO channel shows

    10. Neither of those answers. My favorite movies are Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and Watchmen (yes, both are comic book movies)

    11. A (creepy) sexual activity both makes and females can do…

    That pretty much sums it up

    Reply
    1. LinuxGamerTheist

      Don’t let them get the wrong idea about Alan Moore. It really demonstrated a lot of things about society that we are hesitant to accept. They just think it’s porn.

      Reply
  3. OddAtheist

    So I actually took your stupid test and purposely missed one question just to see what the result would be… 10 out of 11 is still gay, what kind of shit is that?

    You’ll never guessed which one I purposely missed too

    Reply
      1. OddAtheist

        The question I missed on purpose was #7 about the gym. So according to Christwire logic only gays work out? How the fuck does that make sense?

        Chirstian Dumbass: that is possibly the most redundant thing you have ever said. Of course gay is gay. Straight is straight, bi is bi, and gay is gay. You see where I’m goin with this?

        Reply
        1. Nyuu

          So judging by Christwire,
          we should all be fat slobs who never work out and are destined to be stupid goody two shoes?

          excuse me
          but lol

          Reply
  4. Corvinus

    I found these in the ads section of this website

    Latin Women to Marry
    1000s Family Oriented Latin Women Dreaming to be Wives. Choose Yours!
    AmoLatina.com
    Gay Hotels Gran Canaria
    Gay Apartments, Bungalows & Hotels Gran Canaria N.1 accommodation site
    http://www.grancanariagaystay.com

    So i guess everyone has its price,the gays are paying you to advertise them !!!!Now stop being hypocrites and start revealing yourselves,sissies !

    Reply
    1. Christian Intellectual

      Ads are based on your browsing History/Location (cookies,etc.)

      STOP SURFING THE MEXIGAY PORN SITES, HEATHEN !

      Reply
      1. OddAtheist

        Wrong, ads are usually based on the content of the website, not the user. The word at has been said so many times on this site that I’m not surprise their are gay ads

        On any article that Bronies are either mentioned in the article or in the comments I usually have a pony related ad somewhere on the page

        Reply
        1. Christian Intellectual

          I only get Conservative and Christian Ads.

          Your delusional cult is destroying your brain, i hope you leave that immoral cult and join reality (Christianity).

          Reply
          1. LinuxGamerTheist

            While we are on the subject: This website’s layout is horrible. There is no mobile site, no security at all other than that provided by WordPress, (people have fake accounts as a result of this) This website could REALLY make better use of the new possibilities available with HTML5 (must I really reload the page every 3 seconds). I assume none of this website’s administrators even know HTML or CSS or JavaScript or PHP for that matter. This is a disaster waiting to happen. The fact that this many accounts are faked and compromised is reason enough to do some research. Learn something, please.

        2. Bruce Danus

          Aren’t you a “Brony”? So, you web history will have “My Little Pony” in it, correct? You just proved the point of Brother Christian Intellectual. Thank you, fatty. Go ride your pony to Hellfire now, you atheist. You people try to argue with our facts, but then contradict yourselves in very obvious ways. It is sad really. I will pray for you.

          Reply
          1. OddAtheist

            Except I only watch My Little Pony on my phone, but my laptop still shows pony related ads. Your argument is invalid.

            Christian Dumbass: how the fuck is believing some random guy created the universe and everything in it out of nothing “reality”

            Bruised Anus (Bruce Danus): I rather kill mysel then have any of you fuckers pray for me. Save it for some other lost cause

          2. thebadapple

            Listen, all of you. Why are you all arguing over something like this? We all know deep down that many fundamentalists are mentally ill and atheists like to rub it in their face. Come on, have mercy, you wouldn’t insult a kid with down syndrome right? The fundamentalists here are worse.

          3. YouhatemeIhateyou

            Silly, silly, Christian, you have no facts, only one-sided extremist beliefs and opinions.

      2. Millenium

        actually ads is based of what is written on the same page let’s take exemple of the “nuking china” or anything based on chiense ) we have chiense dating sites all over

        Reply
      3. LinuxGamerTheist

        btw, While we are on the subject: This website’s layout is horrible. There is no mobile site, no security at all other than that provided by WordPress, (people have fake accounts as a result of this) This website could REALLY make better use of the new possibilities available with HTML5 (must I really reload the page every 3 seconds). I assume none of this website’s administrators even know HTML or CSS or JavaScript or PHP for that matter. This is a disaster waiting to happen. The fact that this many accounts are faked and compromised is reason enough to do some research. Learn something, please.

        Reply
        1. Nyuu

          This site is setup terribly, because they are so STUPID that they cant even do anything.
          They eat cat shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it makes them even more stupid each time.

          Reply
  5. Blanche Beecham

    Is this like the written portion of the driving test?

    There are so many test to take in today’s world. I took a drug test and failed the written portion. Who can remember all those street names for heroin?

    Reply
    1. Bruce Danus

      Blanche, I believe that if you just alternate between writing “Black” and “Mexican”, you will usually get 90% correct.

      Reply
        1. Bruce Danus

          Again, I AM NOT A RACIST. I am getting tired of typing that. You weirdos have some issues to work out with a psychiatrist or an Exorcist, because everywhere you look, you see racism. I will continue to pray for you.

          Reply
          1. OddAtheist

            You JUST said to use “Black” and “Mexican” for the street names of drugs. if that isn’t racist, then you and I have two different definitions for racist.

          2. LinuxGamerTheist

            Bruce: You are a racist. Let’s all accept that. In the articles you write and the comments you post, you spare no effort in offending as many religions, ethnic groups and lifestyles as humanly possible. You are, I repeat, a racist.

      1. Christian Intellectual

        Brother Bruce, IS NOT A RACIST.

        Don’t worry about it Brother Bruce, these people are delusional. This always happens when i debate with liberals/atheists, when they are losing the argument they always accuse me of racism

        Reply
        1. OddAtheist

          I don’t recall anyone calling you racist before…I do however remember me calling you a dumbass at every oppurtunity.

          And when have you EVER beaten a group of us in an argument? Your logic is flawed, you blindly accept whatever a member of your cult says as fact without actually doing the research yourself, you use religious beliefs as fact (which they’re not)…

          You are every conceivable definition of the word “Dumbass” Thus why I call you Christian Dumbass now.

          Reply
          1. LinuxGamerTheist

            and, CL, when you linked me to the TOR browser article, you exposed me to, possibly, the most hated article on this site. lol.

        2. thebadapple

          So I found this drug online called White Trash, man, it actually made me Christian for a few minutes…then I got back to reality.

          Reply
    1. OddAtheist

      Are you sure the test didn’t label you a Massive Pedophile but you were too blind by “god” that youread Hetero?

      Reply
    2. LinuxGamerTheist

      While we are on the subject: This website’s layout is horrible. There is no mobile site, no security at all other than that provided by WordPress, (people have fake accounts as a result of this) This website could REALLY make better use of the new possibilities available with HTML5 (must I really reload the page every 3 seconds). I assume none of this website’s administrators even know HTML or CSS or JavaScript or PHP for that matter. This is a disaster waiting to happen. The fact that this many accounts are faked and compromised is reason enough to do some research. Learn something, please.

      Reply
      1. Albert Toppers

        For once I agree with LinuxAtheist. The administrators should do everything possible to remove ALL fake accounts on this holy site! It is indeed a scourge!

        Reply
        1. OddAtheist

          Mind asking the Mods about deleting all clown accounts as well, they’re just creepy and a waste of space anyway

          Reply
          1. LinuxGamerTheist

            Maybe you could stop being a lazy extremist slob and do some research? This sort of change is surprisingly easy to implement. If you give me administrative privileges, there’s a 50/50 chance I will improve security, otherwise I will just upload an infinite php loop.

  6. Tom

    One: That question alone proves that you’re a paedophile.

    Two: None, I don’t live in a state.

    Three: By a mutation of an unknown virus that began spreading through African monkeys.

    Four: Is that a word?

    Five: Marriage is a right that should be extended to all couples who love each other.

    Six: Someone I can drink beer, talk about cars, and discuss sports with.

    Seven: Yes I have a gym membership. I like to stay fit and healthy.

    Eight: Ignore him.

    Nine: Good question. What is the BRAVO Channel? I’ve never heard of it.

    Ten: I don’t have a favourite film. I don’t care much for Hollywood these days, it’s all just remekes or out and out crap.

    Eleven: Something I have no desire whatsoever to be a part of ever in my life.

    How did I do?

    Reply
  7. Millenium

    so I’m an atheist and I’m supposed to eat babies right ( and white one at that )

    so explain to me this How come I didn’t eat my niece or my nephew ?

    How come me an Atheist Male want kids someday to raise and to show the wonderful world we live in

    Reply
  8. Gmoney273

    Listen,
    Gays, gays, gays… they are not the problem. Yes, gayness is a sin, but they aren’t in everything. They do not cause all problems in this world. Just leave them be. You, however, are the problem. All the extremist Christians out there letting everyone know that they are perfect in every way, shape, and form. News flash… you are not, no one is. And even if someone makes a mistake in their life does not mean that they should be condemned to hell. Also, (to all the the fucktards that wrote this article and every article on this site), site your sources. You are making a disgrace out of the writings of the Bible. I believe in one of your past articles you said that “Aderall or ‘College Crack’ is an addictive drug used to help kids study, but has made them addictive and is being sold in Mexico.” Personally I take Aderall because of my ADD, and I am a little curious of wher the location of the site is that you got this information from. Because, I do not have problems, you do. That is why I am writing this comment in the first place. And you know what. I am not even sure how to take this site.
    Is it:
    1. A site made by non-Christians to send a hate message to Christianity.
    2. An inside joke… and I am not in on it.
    3. A bunch of wackjob psychiopath authors that cannot spell, and make up propaganda to help their side of the story, and hate on everyone that does not have the same beliefs as them.

    You guys sicken me. I mean, for example, you think that Muslims=evil, gays=evil, democratics=evil, (by the way, I am a Republican and to be honest I do not give a shit), videogames=evil, Asians=evil, all other religions=evil, all other nationalities besides your own=evil. Turn to Christ retards, and maybe then you will see how wrong you really are about everything. Also, and this personal for me, masturbation is not bad. When you hit puberty everyone, and I mean everyone, has urges. It is not bad it is absolutely normal, because according to yet ANOTHER of you articles, you mention how masturbation is banned in the Bible… really, cause I read that verse and um, it is not there. And women have every right to be independant in having their own jobs, being able to vote, able to hold office in the United States government, I mean this IS the United States isn’t it. Do the basic bilaws of freedom not apply to this country anymore? Didn’t think so.

    If you guys, (in the audience) actually want to LEARN about the Christian faith… the REAL Christian faith, then you can contact me at gmoney273@hotmail.com. I am not a pastor, but I sure as hell can teach a whole lot more about Christianity than these assholes. This is not the Christian religion… this is a disgrace to the Christian religion, and all who follow it.

    Reply
    1. jesuschristsalvationmagic

      another potentially good Christian, fallen to the evil that is homo eroticism. There is hope for you in Christ, Gmoney273. Find him and he shall redeem all sins and lead you to the light. It pains me to see a young man such as yourself not only enticed by the devil’s yank of sin (masturbation as you might call it), but also falling into the trap that is homosexuality. By your post I can clearly see that you have become enveloped in this trap. You need to find Jesus to rid yourself of these urges, Gmoney273. Being a pastor for sixteen years, I can help you.

      Email me at JesusChristsalvationmagic123@Churchofthesaved.com

      I can help you rediscover the path to our lord, if only you would let me help you.

      Amen, and as always, God bless Tyson for helping us good Christians find the information we need to avoid the sin that is homosexuality.

      Reply
  9. FredtheFailLord

    Since the answers are obviously biased, and quite frankly easy to game, I’ll answer what I think instead.

    “When you see a young and firm little boy…..”
    I ignore him.

    “Your favorite state is?”
    New York or Oregon.

    “AIDS was created by?”
    Monkeys in Africa, maybe birds, then a mutation allowed the virus to spread to humans.

    “Taupe is?”
    I’d say damned if I know, but that’s probably what you’re looking for. I have no clue what that is.

    “Gay marriage is __________.”
    No big deal.

    “Your ideal male friend would be?”
    Brony gamer. No sexuality preference on my part.

    “Do you own a gym membership?”
    Well, the country club I’m a member of has a gym, and I go to it, if that counts.

    “When you see a man bending over, you?”
    Ignore it.

    “BRAVO Channel is?”
    No clue, I don’t watch TV.

    “Your favorite movie is?”
    Star Wars IV

    “Fisting is?”
    Kinky

    Reply
    1. Millenium

      so when am I supposed to eat My neice and nephew ??

      and should I eat My futur kids as well ? no seriously you make no sense whatsover

      The video you show was a Cake we all knew it and we all saw it there is No bone no blood whatsover

      Reply
  10. Millenium

    “When you see a young and firm little boy…..”
    I ignore him.

    “Your favorite state is?”
    I don,t live in the stats therefore I like New york and maybe penns

    “AIDS was created by?”
    actually it’s was created in a laboratory as a biological weapon and spread on Monkey by scientist ( I won,t name the country because everyone know this country started by U and finished by SA)

    “Taupe is?”
    French word for the animal “Mole”

    “Gay marriage is __________.”
    No big deal.

    “Your ideal male friend would be?”
    Gamer

    “Do you own a gym membership?”
    Nope I do exercices like taking a walk and running to keep My body ( I try to lose weight actually )

    “When you see a man bending over, you?”
    Ignore it.

    “BRAVO Channel is?”
    huh what is that ?

    “Your favorite movie is?”
    any asian Movie ? oh wiat i,m communist now … OUPSY

    “Fisting is?”
    Kinky

    Reply
  11. Bruce Danus

    You Atheists are just completely ignorant. Everybody with a brain knows that a baby’s skull doesn’t form right away, what you are seeing is brain matter, not cake. The lack of blood is because babies have no cognitive brain function and therefore do not require blood to their brains at that age. Please get some basic biological knowledge before trying to debate me on things like this, morons.

    Reply
    1. Tom

      What absolute rubbish. If a baby’s brain has no blood flow to it, the baby DIES! It’s amazing how every time you open your mouth you prove you’re and idiot.

      Reply
    2. Millenium

      You clearly failed in biology How can a baby know when he is Hungry or thristy ? or need to poop or pee for exemple The brain need to didacte this Body to do that if the brain don’t do that the Body woN,t do it as well

      The brain is actually formed after approx 4-5 Month of pregnancy everyone know that

      Reply
    3. L. N.

      Explain why the ‘baby’ is then forming complete sentences and has an awareness of it’s surroundings on such a level, as well as why it isn’t already dead from the fact that it’s lower half is gone and that there isn’t any blood and that there is clearly a cake-like substance where it’s guts should be, as well as why it isn’t moving in the first place while screaming.

      Odds are you’re just as high as August is all the damn time.

      Reply
  12. Ice Van Winkle

    Frankly, I was hesitant to take this quiz, because these sorts of things are fine for women’s magazines but men should be reading NRA Monthly or the word of Jesus, not taking quizzes. It just seems queer to me.

    But I took it any way wanting to confirm my rigid heterosexuality and it was truly a joy to see that I am for now and always a completely 100% straight white Christian.

    I’ve overcome my fear of quizzes thanks to TB3 and will be administering this test to my 3 boys and other male members of my extended family. Anything less than 11 out of 11 will lead to some serious scripture.

    Reply
  13. Bukko Canukko

    Oh my God! (And I don’t mean false gods like Allah or AquaBuddha or Hanuman the Flying Monkey, although he was kinda cute in the Wizard of Oz…) I”M GAY! I had no idea. How am I going to tell my wife?!? Now we’re going to have to get divorced. Curse the homosexualists for breaking up another man/woman marriage!

    And I owe it all to Christwire. Bless you for showing me that I’m damned to Hell. I might as well just commit suicide, since I’m headed Down There anyway. Probably all sorts of gay sex in Hell, too. I just KNOW I’ll hate it. But I guess that’s the point of Hell, eh?

    Reply
        1. Bukko Canukko

          We need to breathe so we can speak praises to God Almightly. Have you ever tried praying out loud without breathing? I can do it for 60-70 seconds, tops was 98 before I passed out, but I wasn’t praying ecstatically. I was hoping I wouldn’t come to, so I could be dead and finally get to meet Jesus, but no such luck. Since I am firmly against suicide, as all good Christians are, I will have to wait for that Blessed Moment when God decides to take my life.

          Reply
  14. NikkiBVB

    “When you see a young and firm little boy…..” – Nothing. Just another person.

    “Your favorite state is?” – California, the state that I lived in my entire life. Good weather. Everything but a great economy.

    “AIDS was created by?” – I have no idea. All I know is that it is a disease with HIV transmitted by sexual activity, etc.

    “Taupe is?” – I don’t know.

    “Gay marriage is __________.” – Not bad. Love has no gender.

    “Your ideal male friend would be?” – Likes Black Veil brides, Queen, Marine animals, Etc. Trustworthy. stuff like that.

    “Do you own a gym membership?” – No but I exercise.

    “When you see a man bending over, you?” – Wonder why he is bending over, think it’s weird, and move on.

    “BRAVO Channel is?” – A channel my mother watches sometimes.

    “Your favorite movie is?” – The Lovely Bones.

    “Fisting is?” – Weird, looks painful.

    So…yeah…I don’t think I would get any of them right in your mind but I’m still gay…

    Reply
  15. BVB666HIM

    “Congratulations!

    You scored 3 out of 11.

    Your performance has been rated and We have recorded your IP address to let your neighborhood know you are a taint tickler.” Um… I’m a woman thanks. So in truth I could enjoy anal sex… not saying I do! Lol. But yea, I’m not Gay, I’m pansexual.

    pan·sex·ual

    pan·sex·ual [pan sékshoo əl, pan séksh’l]
    adj
    of diverse sexual expression: relating to a sexuality that expresses itself in many different forms

    In my case I don’t care if you’re straight, gay, transgendered, or anything else (as long as you’re human). I’d still have sexual intercourse with you! :) Unless you’re a creepy a fuck clown and a fucking psycho granny.

    My real answers:

    “When you see a young and firm little boy…” – Nothing. Just another person. But it seems you wanna make a porno flick with the poor child.

    “Your favorite state is?” – California, Washington, and North Carolina.

    “AIDS was created by?” – It’s a mutation that was found in Monkey’s that later got passed to humans. To put it simply it’s a retro virus.

    “Taupe is?” – taupe

    taupe [tōp]
    n
    brownish-gray color: a dark brownish gray color
    [Early 20th century. Via French < Latin talpa "mole"]

    “Gay marriage is __________.” – Not bad. Love has no gender. Also love has no age.

    “Your ideal male friend would be?” – Likes Black Veil Brides, Queen, Marine animals, Etc. Trustworthy. stuff like that. And a few other things.

    “Do you own a gym membership?” – No but I exercise. Used to do weight training at school though.

    “When you see a man bending over, you?” – Everyone has to bend over, mainly if they dropped something you dumb fucks.

    “BRAVO Channel is?” – A channel that I could give a fuck about.

    “Your favorite movie is?” – Titanic, and a few others.

    “Fisting is?” – Weird, looks painful. Wouldn't try it even if you payed me.

    Reply
    1. Bukko Canukko

      My minister informs me it’s one of the gayest instruments there is. If a man is playing it, that is. A long hard shaft you put in your mouth? DUH! He told me the trombone is even gayer, for obvious reasons. Playing the bagpipes — now THAT’S heteromanly! Maybe he wouldn’t feel so strongly about it if his name was not Egan MacTavish.

      Reply
  16. NellieBVB

    Since this is crap, I’ll answer in my own words.
    1. I just continue walking. There is nothing special about it.
    2. California, I love it.
    3. It was created by God. Humans got it from Monkeys.
    4. A color.
    5. Fine, there is nothing wrong with it.
    6. Someone I could trust and I have a lot in common with.
    7. No, I work out at home.
    8. Same as #1.
    9. A channel that I don’t watch.
    10. The Last Excorsism.
    11. Something homosexual and heterosexual couples do.

    Reply
  17. LinuxGamerTheist

    My situation is a lot more complex than straight or gay, try mostly hetero, but would be gay with someone.

    Reply
    1. Ice Van Winkle

      The temptations of the gay is ever present and offers a world of infinite pleasures, but remember that the price is an eternity burning in hell. Just stick with your god given wife and all of that toil will work out in the end.

      Reply
      1. ChristWireFan

        You speak the truth! Do not fall into the trap that the Homogays have set up to trick innocent, God loving Americans into sin.

        Reply
  18. Jesus

    Did it actually take my IP??!! Someone normal please answer me, i took the test as a joke (picking all the gay answers) and it said it took my IP address!! Im on my moms computer for christs sake!!! Should I be worried?

    Reply
  19. Jonny

    My answers:

    Question 1: Neither, whenever I see a young boy I think that it is a young boy and move on with the rest of my life. This question actually doesn’t prove anything to do with being gay. If you pick A it proves you are a paedophile. Drastic difference between paedophiles and homosexuals.

    Question 2: Neither again. Don’t have a favourite state. Probably not because I am not American. I disagree that the average person should own a gun.

    Question 3: It is now accepted that AIDS is caused by HIV. It is now accepted that HIV descended from SIV the monkey form of the virus. If god created a virus to punish homosexuals surely it would only affect homosexuals. It doesn’t.

    Question 4: I had never heard of Taupe before. Googled it. Turns out it is a grayish-brown colour.

    Question 5: Neither. I have never dreamed of marrying a man, what with not being gay. I don’t think it is wrong though. Also as Islam has a negative outlook on homosexuality, gay marriage is far from being a step to America becoming an Islamic nation.

    Question 6: Neither. My ideal male friend is someone I can have a laugh and a joke with. Someone who shares similar views and isn’t a bigot.

    Question 7: Never. Being socially awkward and finding the whole concept of working out in public quite terrifying. I don’t fault anyone who has a gym membership though.

    Question 8: If a man bends over in front of me I don’t look. It just isn’t done. Just because someone gay doesn’t mean they are going to gawk at every man that bends over in front of them.

    Question 9: Bravo Channel is a TV channel. It has many different shows. Many of which are reality TV shows. Personally I don’t like reality TV shows but liking reality TV shows doesn’t make you gay.

    Question 10: Neither. Never seen either of those films, don’t know what my favourite film is.

    Question 11: Fisting can mean a variety of things. Sometimes it can be a homosexual sex act. It can also mean a heterosexual sex act. Or just punching someone.

    Definition of fisting:
    1. Hit with or as with the fists or a fist – a fastball he fisted into left field
    2. vulgar. Penetrate (a person’s anus or vagina) with one’s fist

    That quiz proves nothing. Except you are a homophobic bigot.

    Reply
    1. Jabbra

      Actually, this quiz proves that you have no idea what a joke is, and that you spent about 15 minutes wasting your time writing your own stupid answers.

      Reply
      1. Jonny

        Also the reply took 5 minutes tops. Hardly a lot of time to waste. Also I hardly think it was a waste of time as I enjoyed writing it and like a good rant.

        Reply
  20. YouhatemeIhateyou

    “When you see a young and firm little boy…..”

    Now that just sounds like a pedophile wrote that. Whether you choose the obviously one-sided Christian, or “homogay” answer, whoever wrote that question is a pedophile for thinking about “young and firm little boys…”

    Reply
  21. Jabbra

    9 out of 11… I’m slightly gay. Oh well, better pack my bags, I’ve gone and let the whole darn family down.

    Reply
  22. HeavyMetalChristian

    I just want to say that I’m European, a Christian and both me and most priests and preachers of my parish were shocked by the fascist and oppressive inquisitorial site and fundamentalism that is afoot in this website.

    Not to mention that I read such blasphemies as “God Hates…” witch proves you’re no better than Muslim religious fanatics.

    Second thing is, Catholic Church has nothing against Gays, in fact they just prohibit them to be made by the Church because for the Church Marriage is only viewed as the sacred union of two people commuted to bring life to this world. However the REAL church doesn’t oppose gays nor gay marriage.

    I don’t know what church is this of yours, but don’t call yourself Christians because you’re no such thing.

    Regarding your “quizz”. It’s just ridiculous:

    1 “When you see a firm little boy…” – I choose neither of your pathetic options because the life of others is not my business. You vary between a psychological derranged person (that you dissimulate point out as the gay) to a repressive representation of your own way of life you like to impose to others – the oppression on women and absolute control over everything around you because it certainly is easier than trying to understand what’s strange.

    2 – “Your favorite state is?” – Neither of those. Specially a non-Republican one. Guns? They are for self-defence and not something to brag about (sin of pride). As for extasy, there is no point in taking it anally since it kicks in very fast orally (unless you have problems swallowing pills cause they remember you of other nasty things). And no, I don’t take drugs, I research.

    3 – “AIDS was created by…” – None. There’s no proof of either of those to be true. However, if it was God’s punishment, why would straight people die too?

    4 – “Gay marriage is __________.”

    It’s a right. Period. As for Islamic countries, you’re really trying to copy the most fundamentalist of them all. Good work!

    5 – “Your ideal male friend would be?” – Definitely not a NRA gun nut. It would be a friend that’s been there when I most needed. Regardless of race, beliefs or creed.
    That’s in the Bible too. You missed that one. And I’ve been missing the quote where Jesus goes target practising with his NRA friends… Can you help me find it?

    6 – “Do you own a gym membership” – Yes I do. Does that make me gay? No. Does it keep my body healthy? Yes. Is the Bible pro-health – Yes! So either your bible wants me gay or it’s ok to be gay, right?

    7 – “when you see a man bending over” – I’d kick him in the butt. No, just kidding. If I’d like to watch i’d watch for a while. But since I’m not gay I’d be about my business. Although if it were a nice girl. I’d praise the Lord for that booty! 😛

    Since I don’t have BRAVO channel, I’ll skip that one too

    8 – “Your favourite movie is____.” – I loved the passion of the Christ, really. Yet it’s by far my favourite movie. Loved Star Wars, Lord of the Rings. But I also love a comedic one called “Christian Fanatics” that I can only watch on tysonbowersiii.com!

    9 – “Fisting is: ” – It means applying your fist for something you’re doing.

    Reply
  23. Not goth, just quiet

    Hey guess what, I don’t give two shits about your retarded test. Show me how it can truly tell if someone is gay. Or can you not, of COURSE you can’t because this is a useless test created for useless means by a useless person :)

    Reply

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