The 7 Worst Dressed First Ladies

The first lady position should be one of grace and dignity, not whoreish fashions of milksac and bare leg exposure. We have complied a list of the top 7 worst dressed first ladies and would like you to remember that a man is only as good as his wife. So if she dresses like a sassy whore, than what does that say about him?

7. Sarah Childress Polk

The wife to a anti-American militia captain, Sarah was the first, first lady to start disgracing America by showing off her shoulders at public events. She was also known to have a sassy attitude and make jokes about lower classed Americans. She could be seen walking around the White House not wearing shoes and showing off her legs in short dresses to the male employees.

6. Ellen Axson Wilson

Known for showing off her large chest, Ellen was also famous for wearing thin white dresses so that just in the perfect amount of light, her milk nipples would be exposed.

5. Lady Bird Johnson

This Lady Bird was making sure to show off her shoulders to as many nests as possible. Always seen in bright dresses with low should cuts, Lady J was always being noticed by the boys. There were almost confirmed rumors that she may have been a clamdabbler, but along with Obama’s birth certificate, any proof has been locked away.

4. Rosalynn Carter

The sassy queen herself. While he husband was destroying the American economy, Rosalynn (sounds Mexican to me) was off buying the greatest of fashions and making sure to have her photo taken anywhere she went. She loved knowing that 94% of Americans would never be able to dress like her and she would flaunt it as much as possible. Always out exposing her legs to the world, this women was far from any kind of lady.

3. Francis Cleveland

Francis was the first of her kind. She was known as the gossip queen of the White House and was given the nickname “Frankie” by the male slaves who worked at the White House. The nickname was given to her because she would wear dresses that would expose her high thighs, which blacks called “Frankies”. While tempting the slaves with sintreats, this vixen of fashion was also known to allow bare top nipple to show in her dresses.

2. Jackie O

People think they called her Jackie O because of her last name, but in reality it was due to the loud noises people would her from her first lady bedroom. This first lady spent more time prancing around in bathing suits and short skirts then any other first lady in history. It was good to know that the rest of the world was viewing us as all having skimpy sin dressed wives dancing around with their skin exposed for everyone to see.

1. Obama

While this woman’s husband is telling our country to not buy nice things, this Jezebel of fashion is draped with $50,000 dresses. While she kicking the parents in the face, she is stomping on the future of our children with $34,000 custom shoes. While people are begging her husband to give us more jobs, she is buying $20,000 purses from foreign designers. While her husband tells people that times are hard, she is out skipping on private beaches, wearing $15,000 swim suits that tax payers paid for. She is the worst dressed on our list, because she galavants her expensive tastes in the faces of poor Americans, while she smiles with her $89,000 polished veneer teeth.

5 thoughts on “The 7 Worst Dressed First Ladies

  1. Blanche Beecham

    Tyson,

    Looking at First Lady Polk, I wonder when mustaches on ladies went out of fashion? I’ll send a quick fax to the Smithsonian and find out.

    I also was unaware First Lady Cleveland was such a diva and fan of the brown sugar. Looks like she is keeping a very naughty secret under that pile of fabric.

    Fascinating article. When I think you can no longer surprise me, there you go! Thanks for a lovely treat.

    Praise be,
    BB

    Reply
  2. Jazze

    you keep whineing that obama will not “give you more jobs”
    well how do you simply give people a job? don’t there have to work to be done before you can pay someone to do it? or do you think he should set up workshops where you can all do arbitary useless jobs that does not serve society in the least so everyone can have a job? you can’t just magically pull work out of your ass. so please enlighten me how would you get more jobs out there if you are so smart. obama doesn’t have the answere because if he did he’d do it.
    funny thing is the one thing that is more or less garuanteed to work on long term is the one thing you keep crying that he is doing. basicly you are crying that he is doing what you ask him to do because you are a moron who doesn’t know how the world works.

    Reply
  3. Paul

    “We have complied a list of the top 10 worst dressed first ladies…”
    Hey, Tyson, there were only seven. Your an idiot.

    Reply
  4. RD

    “…and would like you to remember that a man is only as good as his wife. So if she dresses like a sassy whore, than what does that say about him?”

    It says that you really wanted to compile a list of your least-favourite presidents, but opted to make it about their wives and how they dressed.

    Oh, and by the way? The First Ladies dressed in a style that was considered fashionable at the time. The clothes they’re wearing in those photos? Remarkably tame. I mean, most of your arguments are, “it shows off the shoulders”. Yeah. Showing off their shoulders.

    The rest of your “reasoning” for this list is pure hearsay. You can’t support any of this, can you?

    Reply

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