What do you get when you mix a college drop out and a pile of homosexuality, you get a flamboyant and closeted homo gay by the name of Tucker Max.
Tucker Max is your typical “bro” who masquerades in the diseases infested shadows of homosexuality. While setting up college campus tours, he is at the same time setting up fraternity gay orgies that allow him to partake in plundering the colon caverns of copious amounts of college man anus. This type of college like rape game is called “bromoing” and Tucker is the ring master when it comes to pumping for Satan oil from the drugged out bodies of rush week hopefuls.
You might know Tucker for his poorly written fiction novels, that tell a story of a boy who has sinful adventures with bi-sexual midgets and drunk Wall Street workers. Each book is filled with vulgarity and sexual content that even a Grindr.com admin would ban from their forum if it was posted on their website. These books are purely a way for Tucker to cover up his homosexual urges and make it seem like he has a new woman on his DNA rifle every night. If you read in between the lines, you will see that these books scream “I like musky man candy rub across my forehead after a full round of power bottoming” and his West Hollywood hair cut even tops off our suspicions. Why do you think his book was called “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell”? It is because he knows God sends gays to hell and he knows his soul is going there for punishment for his mud goblin hunting sins.
His books spew more leaky fecal slug than his overly abused sewer hole, which says a lot, since his weak anal muscles are unable to hold any bowel movements from all the penile assassinations it is has been a part of. His winking eye is like a Piñata at a Mexican Fiesta de Quinceañera, but instead of Mexicans, it is long lines of prison like black men and HSSS.TV fans; buff, angry and looking to vigorously devour some taint eye.
Tucker, you do know we now live in a world that allows gays to roam freely without being stoned or burnt at the stake. Why don’t you come out of the closet and start writing books about homo sex and interior design tips. I think you and that frolicking homo gay ass ninja, Tosh.homo, would make a great couple.
His parent’s shame must know no bounds.
I always get this one and Carlson confused.
Typical guap whop Italians and their dirty stories.
There are so many Italians on tv these days. It’s just weird. They even have gay ones running around. I don’t find them funny at all, but some people do. I guess it’s a big city thing.
He’s a terrible man. I got away from him once in college, he never did give me back my ID. I guess he and that boy in his closet had been an item all along.
I am not aware of who this “man” is, but from the first picture I can tell he’s a pole smoker.
On your knees for Jesus!
Tucker Max has a great deal of literature on his attempts at anal sex, an act that, when performed with women, can only suggest a deeply-buried desire to fornicate with men.
Thank you for exposing this filthy anal slut. Hopefully tweenagers will stop idolizing him now that they know he is a Satan sin twiddler.
This is an amazing piece of Journalism Mr. Bowers III. I don’t think even Reagan himself could have said it better.
This is hilarious, im literally laughing so hard right now.