UFC – The Most Homo Erotic Pay Per View Novella on Television

What is MMA?

MMA actually stands for “Men, Muscles and Anal”, which is own by the Luciferish company, UFC, which also stands for “United Fecal Commission”. As you can see, right off the bat this sport is smeared with man on man devil DNA sauce covered shenanigans.

MMA was created so the homosexual community could show gay like soft core porn on TV and mask it as a gladiator type of event. It is far from the Roman Coliseum and is just a show that exposes your son to bulging biceps of demonic gayness and tight fight shorts that have a bulky flesh potato dangling ripe for the picking. Instead of two warriors engaging in brutal combat to the dead, they show you two men engaging in a fierce fecal battle of grab ass and jockey jacking.

What Goes on at a MMA Event?

While your daughter’s g-stringed underwear gets soiled with camel hump moisture from watching two (thought to be not homosexuals) roided filled homosexuals sweat and rub their bodies against each other’s water muscles. She is really watching two men showing off their gay sexual techniques in hopes to encourage homosexuality among America’s youth.

Inside the ring, two men are forced to make their enemy “tap out”. “Tap out” means one man has been submitted by the other man. Usually to tap someone out, a fighter will put his opponent in some kind of sexually awkward ass play position and use his thumb or finger to poke or pry the other fighter’s brown doorbell, until that can’t take anymore sexual arousement.

Each man is given anal muscle relaxers before each match to clean out their systems of waste. This is to make sure that if there is any sewer hold penetration happenings during thier rugged match, the fighter will be able to take pleasure in the index finger oil drilling and not secrete sinful fecal matter onto his opponent’s hands.

Fighters can also use their BJJ to “choke out” another fighter, which is a typical gay street move. Gays usually like to make their victims pass out before they feast on their souls. Showing these moves on TV are showing your boys how to man handle a possible victim and submit them unconscious, so they can take them in the back ally behind “Franks,Tank and Spank” and have their way with them.

To be allowed into these events, you need to show up in the UFC dress code before getting in. This dress code consists of a shirt that has at least one skull, burnt angel wings, gold or silver writing and if you have a dragon on the back, you are not required to have a skill or angel wings. You must match this shirt with a pair of $450 ripped up carpenter jeans, along with a large belt buckle that has some kind of aggressive word on it.

The Greased Down and Eager Cast Memebers

GSP (Quite Type)
If you’re a man hole assassin and like to look at men who look like they have taken one to many Hydroxycut pills, then you will love to feast your quaalude glossed eyes upon this gluttonously chisel chested fighting fairy. George Saint Pierre is every gay man’s fecal farm boy fantasy come to life and he plays the quite and shy fighter, who fights for passion and love.

Quinton “The Rammer” Jackson (Black Rage)
Nowadays, every show needs the black rage element and this part is played by the dark stallion named “Quinton “The Rammer” Jackson. Full of rage and white hate, The Rammer likes to use his slave built muscles to smash in the faces of any man who dares enter the ring with him. The Rammer has to fight, as it is the only way he can pay off Dena White the money he owns him. Until his debt is paid, The Rammer must swap interracial sweat with the other MMA fighters until White nulls his debt.

Here you can see Urijah taking his anal muscle relaxers before a fight.

Urijah Faber (Twink Element)
A gay sitcom isn’t complete unless it has a man boy twink for the homo crowd to fantasy feast upon. Faber is the young boy fighter trying to prove himself to the older more “bear” type fighters and will stop at nothing to show his worth. This midget sized man candy is known to fight men twice his size and he is known for his famous finishing move, called “The Glitter Choke”.

MMA Gay Moves

Rear Naked Choke

This move requires one fighter to sneak behind the other fighter and wrap his arms around their neck like a spring catalog scarf from Urban outfitters. Once the move is applied, the fighter in the rear will front lock his legs and thrust his naughty candy sac into the back end of his opponent. Forcing his bulge into the other fighter’s back, he will also bear hug squeeze their neck until the fighter becomes “tapped out”.

Oh Man Plata

This move requires a fighter to wrap his leg around the other fighters arm and he rubs his flesh pole up and down the arm until he creates a rug burn effect. After multiple rub thrusts the Indian burn type pain will be too much for the other fighter to bare and he will give up and quit the fight. Plata is Greek for “sexual rub”.

Full Mounting

This is the gayness of all moves in the MMA world. In this move, the fighter must sex mount (full mount) the other fighter and wedge his legs around the other fighter’s waist, while he lies helpless, eager and vulnerable on the floor. He will then ground and pound his pelvic sex area into the other fighter’s mini sauce sacs until the fighter or ref calls it a win.

42 thoughts on “UFC – The Most Homo Erotic Pay Per View Novella on Television

  1. Blanche Beecham

    Tyson,

    I am very upset by this. Mister Beecham was a wrestler in high school and college. His broad shoulders and well cut physique were what initially caught my fancy, not once but many times.

    I feel very disturbed by those images, Tyson. What these men don’t understand it is that level of tone and strength are difficult to maintain with age. I see the need for spiritual guidance to lead them through the aging process, maybe just the ones 20-25. I think perhaps a gentle Christian woman whose experience with this age group could help them see that wrestling isn’t the path to home sexual behaviors. I’ll check my Rolodex for suitable people for this difficult ministry and email you.

    Kind regards,
    BB

    Reply
    1. Susan B. Xenu

      It is to bad that Shannon has failed to turn from her witchcraftery, and that Claire in psychologically impaired and that LN denies her femininity, or we could have them “minister” to these heathen wrestlers.

      Reply
        1. Militant Negro

          Hey, baby. I heard you and Bruce are calling it quits. I ain’t got no moose around, how about I gives you a taste of the brown sugar stick?

          Reply
          1. Robert

            Her sin hole is her wide, gaping a**hole that is full of lies, ignorance, and judging others. I know she was raised in a different time but come on, can’t wait until that generation is gone.

    1. Ren Fenwitz

      Flavius, I am convinced that this entire website is a joke. I’m not offended by it because it is so very, very amusing.

      Reply
    1. jabe

      How does this cater to tween boys you jackass they are fighting sort of displaying aggression at a primal level and this lurlene dumbass they arent on steroids first of all second of all you can make anything disgusting. for instance your picture honestly made me throw up. go get a life you useless excuses for humans

      Reply
      1. Ice Van Winkle

        Jabe, of course you are right, I am wrong. There is nothing about grown men acting aggressive to each other that would interest a 12 year old boy. No kids ever watch this stuff at all. It is no influence on them at all.

        Reply
  2. Lurlene Tyranna Shores

    Disgusting images, Brother Bowers. These copulating sweaty greasy bulging men on steroids will be the first to burn when the Rapture comes. The burn between their buns they know now will be nothing compared to the fires of hell.

    Reply
          1. Reverend Joseph Filligree

            I pray for your corrupted soul Shannon. It seems that satan has taken a vigil in your heart. Take the lord into your hole of sin and forget your pagan and heathen ways. Yours is the path of destruction to us all. I will pray for God to stop hating you even though it seems he has cause to do so.

            Praise be to the Good Lord.

          2. TokioHotel.BOTDF.Lauren

            Reverend Joseph wants Jesus to rape you!! O.O Lol. Okiedokies. UFC- Ultimate Fighting Championship (I think. I’m going off of memory here) MMA- Mixed Martial Arts. I am not a fan of wrestling, I never really understood the thrill of paying to watch two guys beat the crap out of each other. I can watch that for free on the street.

    1. Canadian daughter of Belzébuth

      THOSE man will be the only to survive cause they know how to fight. you’ll be the big fat whor. to get killed cause she can’t run. Don’t give me that heaven bullcrap.. your soul is empty.

      Reply
  3. Tylerpandabubble

    Ultimate fighting championship? Mixed martial arts? Tyson!!you have too much time in your hands so you decide to blur out mens crotch to makeot look homOsexual? I dont know whats weirder..that you thoigh this up or that you went and took your computer mouse and photo shopped a mans crotch.were you jealous?

    Reply
  4. August Weisz

    The MMA is all scripted like the soap operas that target our women during the day. Everyone knows these UFC fighters are just wannabe athletes who couldn’t hack it at baseball or football.

    Reply
    1. jabe

      first of all ufc isnt actually scripted like wrestling is second of all they are world class athletes like boxers also how is ufc gay if football isnt? the whole point of football is to tackle another guy onto the ground and lay on top of him? im not homophobic like the rest of you clearly are and i respect both ufc fighters and footbal; players but you people need to maybe find some facts before you start calling perfectly normal people fags

      Reply
  5. stephen hawking

    cant be more homosexual then your so called “holy men” touching young boys…..

    I continue to hope that this site is a joke because if so i give it credit for being hilarious. if not i feel bad for all of you

    Reply
  6. bob vina

    “bulky flesh potato dangling ripe for the picking.”

    I couldn’t get past that…

    Duh…potatoes grow in the ground.
    One doesn’t PICK a potato.
    Not even gay ones

    Please re-write as “fleshy avocado”…that would work for me!

    Reply
  7. Antichrist

    I see you mortals sought past the UFC, very well. You cannot defeat father for his unholy hate will bring forth the death of god and your mortal souls. You all deserve to go to hell, every one of you, you all sin and disgrace thine Satanic ways.

    Reply
    1. The Atheist

      I agree we all deserve to go to hell and personally can’t wait to get there. I’ve contemplated suicide but that is the pussy’s way out.

      Reply
  8. The Atheist

    I’m surprised the author did not look up gay porn like the author of the article about Portal 2 did. That proves you’re totally not gay when you put gay porn in your article, right?

    Reply
  9. Gary Gilmore

    I guess that wrestling is a harmless sport. When I was a kid we use to wrestle each other with our friends – what Washingtonian socialists call ‘homeboys’. The Japanese folks go mad for it with their ‘Sumo': I ain’t so sure it’s wholesome, but that that is a matter for those guys. And they are big mothers so I wouldn’t argue too long. Anyway, it never did me no harm and it gives me an advantage over potential intruders on our farm: I can save a bullet and hand them over to the sherriff alive.

    I am a bit uneasy about Olympic wrestling at the English olympics: I suspect they will insist on nude wrestling like the Ancient Greeks done. But that just shows how jaded the English are, just like the Ancient Greeks.

    Reply

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