Vans Warped Tour – Tainting the World with Emo Music and Black Market Drugs

In the city of Satan’s lost angels, there is an event that is held each year where kids with $150 ripped up Diesel boot cut skinny jeans and Maybelline eyeliner, gather to get away from morals and engage in underage drinking, magic fuzzy pill popping and a place where they can become emo and make out with their pre-teen twink boyfriends, while juggling 6 packs of Paps Blue Ribbon down their throats.

This event is called “The Warped Tour” sponsored by the surfing company, Vans. The name comes from the fact that kids go to this event to warp their minds with illicit black market street drugs and become emo gender bending deviants. Everyone knows emos promote homosexuality, drugs, masturbation and miscarriages and that emo stands for “enter my orifice”.

There is no way to distinguish the boys from the girls at this festival, as they all look like drugged out lead singers from the 80’s who just got done having a botched sex change operation.

This festival is full of “softcore” pop music, that fills the young mind with urges to emo mosh in large mosh pits or also known as “the sex circle”. The sex circle is where the emo kids run around in a “pit” filled with sexual anger and as they pass each other, they stick there tongues down each other’s mouths until they reach a Satanic climax full of sin and cherry lip balm.

The acne infested, high pitched, prepubescent voices and same 3-chord melodies from the bands that fuel these circles of demonic enticement, have some of the most outrageous names. Take the pioneers of emo music “Sum 41″, we all know that in gay talk, that the “1” is a symbol for a sin snake and the “4” means “one all fours”. So the name actually means “Sum-one put their twiddle rompus inside me, while I’m on all fours”. Then you have bands with names like Taking It Back to Sunday, Saves the Day and Joy Electric Land, which all have sex party undertones and all have lyrics that talk about forced teen sex and gay sin docking.

The festival inside is quite the French sex show, but even before you get into the concert, you might witness large groups of kissing male friends, giving each other hyper-color hand jobs, while there friends “skank” around them in a mascara filled wet dream of drug activity.

The chances that your son is lip locked with his buddy, who goes by the name “Unique Rain Disaster”, is pretty much guaranteed. It wouldn’t be shocking to find out that your son has played a game of skin tug of war with 20 or so Satan scepters while being high at the beer garden or had partaking in a bi-sexual sex session with his new found buddies over at the Hot Topic display.

Let us not forget the amount of drugs that float around this land of man ass grabbing. Your children will be exposed to drugs that you thought only existed in “urban” neighborhoods.

The drug of choice at this festival is known as “A Mushroom” or as the kids call it “Shrooms”. The reason why this drug is so popular with this type of festival, is because it is shaped like a erected flesh sword and as discussed about above, these kids love to perform mouth sex acts with skin knobs. Once eaten, the drug sends you children into the fairytale land of Satan, where he has complete control of their actions. He bombards them with images of melting rainbows, Skittle rain drops and homo erotic sex slaves, while at the same time encouraging them to dabble in a taste of homosexual experiences.

So unless you want your son to develop a addiction for drugs and homosexuality, you need to ban them from entering not only the gates of Warped Tour, but also keep them away from the grips of L.A.

301 thoughts on “Vans Warped Tour – Tainting the World with Emo Music and Black Market Drugs

        1. Lynn

          These guys really know how to advertise all the cool events, don’t they? All of this is so wildly funny it makes you just have to go to things like Burning Man,Warped Tour, etc.
          Thank you so much for this web site. It’s a great pablisity stunt.

          Reply
      1. StetEStilz

        LMAO i got trolled..your not the slightest bit christian.. way to go Satan troll.. I was concerned for a little bit then I realized that you don’t care for morals, or integrity.

        I hope your soul is saved.

        Reply
      2. Jason

        You are such a joke. All that gay talk, I would bet my life that you’re a pole smoker yourself! Do the world a favor, find something tall and jump off of it! Wow.

        Reply
      3. Bella (lol.that's my real name tho.)

        lol Vans is the shoe company that runs Warped. Actually, I went to warped on the 20th in Cuahouga Falls and had *the* time of my life. People go for the music. It’s really fun & it’s not about just f*king whoever you lay eyes on. Why is everything gay to you so-called “Christians”? Not every single band is gay or a failure. If all they did was get drunk and/or high they wouldn’t be famous, let alone at Warped. Even if someone was gay, there’s not a problem. I don’t ever remember God flat out saying that he hates gays & bis & lesbians. I was always taught by my parents(who are Christians) that God loves everyone. If God does hate gays then he should stop making them. You’re just a bunch of racist,homophobic,sexist,dumbass people. Have a nice life torturing whatever children you own.

        Reply
    1. scotty

      if you wanna be a dumb racist stupid bitch the joke would have been more funny to say something like “air jordans or air force ones” but you wouldnt know that cuz your a asshole vans are shoes made for skateboarders to help grip the board and give their ankles support.

      Reply
    2. Peter

      You guys do an excellent job at creating The Onion of conservative Christian thought! If I wasn’t any smarter, I’d have thought this was all the real deal! :) Love the work though! It takes a brilliant mind to create these arguments that straddle the line between conservative Christian extremist thought, and farcical Christian blabber. Its really quite an impressive feat, when considering you are coming from the other side of the fence in the first place! Kudos!! Love the stuff! Always great for a good laugh!

      Reply
  1. Stephenson Billings

    It’s strikes me as odd that androgyny is so important to the youth generation. It’s as if they want to erase their roles in society altogether or maybe they all want to become women. Whatever it is, it’s just escapism. They want to avoid hard work and the people behind these types of music concerts are all too willing to help them get there. I think the drugs as you mentioned Tyson are becoming far too common in this country today. We have decriminalized marijuana and that only makes kids think everything else like crystal meth and crack cocaine is okay, too. As someone who has seen the face of addiction up close in the teens I have counseled, it is nothing to celebrate. These musicians are committing a sin akin to a crime. Promoting deliquency and addiction is absolutely wrong and I hope more parents pay attention to this message and be viligant about their children’s listening habits. God bless my friend.

    Reply
    1. Tyson Bowers III

      I tried not to go into too much detail, as this subculture’s sexual regiment is far too explicit for Christian readers.

      Reply
        1. Inscrutable

          Eighteen; the sum of three sixes; so what. Jesus killed death for me! I’d like to thank Jesus (and Tyson who obviously walks with Him hand in hand) and praise his name for giving us an understanding of how depraved these Motley Crue cosplayers really are. Only at Christwire can you get such insightful commentary on the human condition.

          Vince Neil could only imagine what happens when these feathered hair sin knobs turn on one another in an angst filled celebration of devil inspired sin-docking.

          It is insulting to honorable basketball stars like “Chuck Taylor” when their shoes are put on the public catwalk (cats are evil; they are most often found during “Twilight,” the hour of Satan and Will and Grace) and worn by frowny faced drug-addled youth with backwards mullets.

          I advise the sinners who disagree with this article to find a quiet place to pray and repent; then, return to this site and take in the wondrous knowledge within this article knowing that Christ himself may well be working through Mr. Bowers and Brother Billings. Your very salvation hinges upon it!

          By the way, “your an idiot,” should be you’re an idiot. It appears you indulge in some pretty idiotic use of the english (God’s) language. Seems like you are very angry over a personage you don’t even believe exists. Jesus wishes you’d see Dr. Phil, or better yet, your nearest Southern Baptist minister.

          Reply
      1. evan Talbot

        Tyson….YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT!!!! 1. WE GO THERE NOT TO ENGAGE IN DRUGS OR SEX, WE GO THERE TO LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC… AND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW WHAT GOES ON THERE HOW MANY GAY CONCERTS HAVE YOU BEEN TO, TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK GOES ON. AND HOW COME YOU NEVER MENTIONED DAUGHTERS, WERE YOU TO CONCERNED TRYING TO FIND SOME EMO GUY TO HOOK UP WITH, WHILE YOUR DAUGHTER WAS FUCKING SOME GUY BEHIND YOU.

        Reply
        1. Emo Isn't a Crime. Your Judgement Is.

          I TOTALY AGREE WITH YOU!!! Warped tour is for people who want to listen to good music. EVERYONE NEEDS TO QUIT BEING SO NARROW MINDED!! Have a good day Evan Talobt.

          Reply
        2. BVBarmy, SGTC luv BOTDF FIR BMTH

          AW damn…this website is just meant for trollin’…so yeah yeah make up your unfunny lies just for publicity…see if we “emosexuals” care…btw…”emosexual” wtf… wouldn’t that mean we liked emos?

          Reply
      2. Lynn

        This site is more explicit than any secular site that I’ve visited. You know how to sling that excrement like no other. Bull excrement that is.

        Reply
      3. someone fed up with your bible thumping lies

        have you ever been to the vans warped tour?obviously you havent.i hope you like your place in hell and its everything you said that warped tour is,your a lying self righteous ignorant tool.learn about the subject your writing on before you publish your filth and look like a joke.thanks for making all good church going people look like fools.

        Reply
        1. Alex

          You guys do realize you’re being trolled, right? This whole site is satire, like The Onion. Now calm down and go enjoy your life instead of arguing about things you don’t realize are for lulz.

          Reply
    2. Claire

      “It’s strikes me as odd that androgyny is so important to the youth generation. It’s as if they want to erase their roles in society altogether or maybe they all want to become women.”

      Thankfully men and women no longer have their own “roles” in American society. Men can be stay at home dads if they want and women can be heart surgeons. This is how it should be.

      Reply
        1. scotty

          yea people totally use surfboards and skateboards as tables to fuck up the butt thats what i use them for every day nothing like a nice huge BLACK dick up my butthole. i know im already going to hell for liking dick up my butt but its a black mans dick so satan must rip my eyeballs out when i get to hell then stick them up his ass.

          Reply
    3. The Comedian

      //It’s strikes me as odd that androgyny is so important to the youth generation.//

      Yes, because clearly if one or two groups have it as a focus, then all groups have it as their focus.

      //It’s as if they want to erase their roles in society altogether or maybe they all want to become women.//

      Considering how the only real roles that are gender specific is who makes the baby batter and who has the oven, half of this statement becomes silly.

      //Whatever it is, it’s just escapism.//

      “They need to accept that a magic sky wizard made everything in 7 days and loves you but will impale your ass the moment you step out of line!”

      //They want to avoid hard work and the people behind these types of music concerts are all too willing to help them get there.//

      Oh no! People want to relax and have fun instead of work all the time! Oh dear lord!

      Stevie, go become an Amish person, you’ll be happier and you’ll be out of our hair.

      //I think the drugs as you mentioned Tyson are becoming far too common in this country today. We have decriminalized marijuana and that only makes kids think everything else like crystal meth and crack cocaine is okay, too.//

      Last I checked marijuana was still illegal, so explain old man, how we ‘decriminalized’ a harmless drug if it’s still illegal to do anything with. As for the other drugs, people with issues go to them, not because they hear it’s fun.

      //As someone who has seen the face of addiction up close in the teens I have counseled, it is nothing to celebrate.//

      Instead of making a comment about how gay you are, I’m just going to tell you that I came up with at least 5 different gay jokes. The point of all of them being that you shouldn’t be anywhere near children.

      //These musicians are committing a sin akin to a crime.//

      Sins do not equal crimes, and they are vastly different to a point that they can’t be compared.

      //Promoting deliquency and addiction is absolutely wrong and I hope more parents pay attention to this message and be viligant about their children’s listening habits. God bless my friend.//

      You pay no attention whatsoever to the real world, do you Stevie?

      Reply
        1. The Comedian

          Have I ever once made that kind of statement? Not only that, but for you to come to that conclusion, you have to admit that you’re gay and that you rape children.

          Reply
        2. Atheist

          I think what he means is that sick pedophiles shouldn’t be around children. And it is a well known fact that most pedophiles are people that work for the “church”. The harder they scream what other people shouldn’t be doing, the more corrupt they are themselves.
          That would make you a very messed up person that takes kids to shady “camps” to have his way with them.

          In other words; YOU shouldn’t be around small children!

          Reply
    4. Pot smoking atheist

      Stephenson, take a break. I saw you making stupid commments on this article and on the raving article. You really just don’t get it. I’d like to try to explain to you how misguided and just flat out wrong you are but well, it’s not going to work. So just take a deep breath while us youngsters go do a bunch of drugs and amazingly still become productive members of society. And completey avoid Satan’s scepter.

      Reply
    5. Ashley

      you cant base your experiences with kids who were addicted to the 22,000+ people that attend this concert… seriously people… do some research on this before you start bashing the world. you are making yourselves look like idiots.

      Reply
    6. this guy

      i dont understand why you have to group pop punk or punk or anytype of rock music that isnt elvis. what you dont realize is that the usic itself does not promote drugs or alcohol. most of the pop punk bands actually protest against drug use and alcohol consumption. its not the music that are condenming people to drugs if that was the case you probably want to get rid or any CHRISTIAN rock group as well because they are infesting the mind of children as well.
      wanting to make it as a musician isnt about not wanting to work its about fallowing a dream and what you love to do. being a musician IS actually hard work. maybe not a lot a physical labor but it is hard work the same. go give these people a little more respect. just has Jesus Christ himself would have. remember, Jesus wasnt on the side that everybody else was one. he believed in everyone no matter who they were or what they did. stop condemning people and start trying to understand more.

      Reply
    7. Harls

      @Stephenson Billings, You need a serious reality check if you think whoever wrote this article is legit, clearly they have never been to warped tour and make up their “facts” in their own mind. You are truly delusional about kids today yourself. Plenty of teenagers could differentiate the idea that maarijuana is decriminalized in certain places for a reason nd its not as dangerous as crack, cocaine etc. So NO just because marijuana us decriminalized doesn’t mean we think crystal meth is ok now, so that is just comepletely unintellegent of you to assume and say. I know plenty of kids who go to concerts sober and warped tour sober. I feel terrible for the kids you counseled because you should have a much better idea of what addiction is to help kids with it and obviously you are truly naiive to how teenagers are these days. It’s extremely sad that you would type a comment like that based on ONE article you read. Perhaps you should take a look at yourself. Lastly, whoever wrote this is a negative person who cleatrly enjoys spreading negative ideas on things and does not have a clue or any legit information or facts that they have researched to put in this article. Its hilarious that people actually believe this bull and whoever believe homosexuality is a sin and is bad are stuck in a thought process that I’m sure jesus wouldn’t like anyway! Let me ask the writer of this article something? is god everywhere? ..Take a look at yourselves and get with the times things are changing and you need to change a little too, I don’t care if you’re christian or catholic or whatever you can keep your religon just don’t act like you’re superior and don’t spread hateful things because thats the opposite of what your religon is about. Stop interprettin the bible so literally it’s not supposed to be read that way. I hope you can realize all your flaws and stop focusing on people that are gay or events for teenagers.

      Reply
  2. Cool Tom Kimbo

    Sounds to me like this “emo” music is truly “warped”!! Praise Jesus and keep our children away from mouth and anal piercings.

    Reply
    1. Lynn

      Wow, anal piercings. That’s a new one. Where did that twisted thought come from? How much do the promoters of these events pay you guys to write this stuff?

      Reply
      1. J

        You do all realize that this is satire, yes? Or have you never even heard of that word? It’s really sad to me that there are people who can’t identify parody as such, although perhaps it speaks to how well Christwire has captured the voice of Fundamentalist Christians.

        Reply
    1. Jessica

      the style is called teasing, if done properly it can look very adorable, I have tried it on myself, also just a note, emo means emotional, emo kids are just overly emotional kids.
      praise God!

      Reply
  3. Keith

    You’ve got to be kidding me. The amount of things this man, (Tyson Bowers), posts and that you people actually believe are completely ridiculous. There is no research whatsoever done here. Vans is a skateboarding company for one. For two; it’s Taking Back Sunday, not Taking It Back to Sunday. Three; This shows what religon can do to people. Did your god write this article? I highly doubt it. Unless Tyson Bowers is god, you know. And “Not go into too much detail”, Tyson? What about your article on raves? And this one? The closest I can describe it to is written pornography. “all have lyrics that talk about forced teen sex and gay sin docking.” “these kids love to perform mouth sex acts with skin knobs.” That isn’t too explicit for your Christian readers? ‘Cause you know, you aren’t talking about sucking dick and going into detail about how a mushroom looks like genetalia or anything. No, that would be too dirty to post on a christian website, wouldn’t it? People like you make me sick to the pit of my soul. And if this is what’s getting you into heaven, believing things like this, then I’d rather go to hell, because it’d be much better than spending eternity with ignorant close minded people like yourself.

    Reply
    1. Harold Camping

      Son,

      No need for the foul language.

      Mr. Bowers is raising resonable concerns for discussion and presenting a factual account of what occurs at these events.

      Please take your pornographic comments elsewhere. We must be ever vigilant against “With whom the kings of the earth have committed fornication, and the inhabitants of the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her fornication,” lest you not ascend into God’s graces on October 21, 2011.

      Reply
      1. scotty

        your a dumb sack of shit none of these things happen at warped tour ive been going for 6 years now maybe you would know if you actually went or this cocksucker tyson went yea some of kids smoke the devil plant known as weed or drink beer but everyone that goes to the warped tour partaken in it everyone goes just rock out to ALL DIFFERNT types of music

        Reply
      2. scotty

        oh and harold we all saw how the rapture went down so im totally scared for the 21st of october. im shitting my pants thinking about it

        Reply
      3. Pot smoking atheist

        There is absolutely no factual account going on here. Man, I really hope you are the real Harold Camping. If so, you are either the dumbest person in the world and failed at math class, several times. How many times is it that you’ve “made the wrong calculation”? Or, you are the smartes man in the world by swindling all these poor gullible christians out of their life savings account. Either way, good job.

        Reply
      4. Hayley

        Ummm, this story is a complete total LIE!! I am a 38 year old mother of a 16yr old who has attended Warped tour for the last two years and plan on it again this summer. The Warped tour is designed to promote underground bands to gain publicity and fans. A lot of CHRISTIAN ROCK bands also perform at this function ex..Underoath…Devil Wears Prada. This is an all day event which usually has 7 stages and 100 bands to choose from. And the REAL definition of EMO comes from the fact that their songs are EMOTIONAL..usually talking about the breakup of a relationship or other sad things. The one thing ILOVE about the bands on Warped is that they are not rap and dont talk about women being bitches and Hoes. Get a clue!!! I think the Warped promoters should file a law suit against you for SLANDER sir!!!

        Reply
    2. Alexa

      The ‘PAPS BLUE RIBBON’ is the best part. The drink is called Pabst. I’m not going to Warped Tour to get a pap smear.

      Reply
      1. Harold Camping

        Madame,

        Perhaps you should. Homogender activity is often the cause of illness, blindness and visible sores. These symptoms have been known to occur even if you were only in the same room where the activity took place. It’s clear that any of these shows put your health at substantial risk.

        I understand that the Warped Van tour has female physicians (they actually travel in their own medical van) that can give you these rectal exams without compromising your modesty.

        Reply
        1. That One Girl

          WHAAA? Homogender activity does nothing of the sort! It’s not a disease, it’s a chosen way of life. I’m not sick am I? And I’ve been bisexual for quite a while.

          Reply
  4. Kristine

    Tyler Bowers has to be on some pretty strong E to vividly write such “articles”. Btw, I find it odd you use so many examples involving homosexuals. Maybe someone is having issues with their sexuality ;] It’s okay. “God” loves everyone.
    P.S. Keith pwns.

    Reply
    1. Harold Camping

      All of God’s creatures look like girls in the eyes of God.

      Perhaps you should choose to call yourself by the masculine form of the name – “Scott” – for the Bible calls Scotty “a harlot and the mother of harlots” in Revelations 17.

      Does being a harlot not make you a girl?

      Reply
      1. scotty

        your a fucking retard im not putting my actual name on your crazy jesus loving website its not “scotty” you piece of shit but even if it was your just a fucking dumbass

        Reply
        1. Harold Camping

          It is the sin of desire – the desire to be “Scotty” that is even more heinous in the eyes of God.

          Look to what God did to Jimmy Carter (another feminine ending name) for his “lust in his heart.” Had the Warped In A Van tour existed, he probably would have ridden that bus.

          Reply
          1. scotty

            yea i wanna be gay i hope the fags at warped tour turn me into a queer and i just suck everyones dicks and drink their cum…..

          2. scotty

            its the “Vans Warped Tour” it has nothing to do with actual vans or busses alright glenn beck. Vans is the name of a sneaker company. Also names ending with Y does make you gay you fucking retard sack of shit asshole fuck face. stop being such a bitch and wake the fuck into the real world. everything you say is retarded.

  5. scotty

    you were pretty explicit too you must know alot about being gay cause you most likely are a closet homosexual

    Reply
  6. Alex

    I thought Warped Tour was pretty lame but after reading this article…it sounds like a pretty happening party!

    Reply
  7. Susan B. Xenu

    doesnt TAINTING” imply that at some point it wasnt already tainted? I can look at those kids and I already know about the taint level of those kids, and it is pretty high.

    Reply
          1. scotty

            i have no respect for crazy jesus lovers who are brainwashed into believing propaganda…..its people like you who still think obama wasnt born in the usa and wanna keep drilling into the oceans.

      1. Shannon

        Scotty I think me and you might be the two most hated people on here by there “Christians” lol crazy susan up there loves to follow my posts around calling me a whore every chance she gets! LMAO

        Reply
        1. Christian Intellectual

          Stop spreading your satanic propaganda !
          We Christians don’t hate, we love everyone.

          Reply
          1. Shannon

            You sure have a funny way of showing it because you seem to hate everything and everyone that is different from yourself

          2. Christian Intellectual

            LN, You have a serious mental problem, please seek help.

            Shannon its called Tough Love.

          3. Shannon

            I think its you that has the serious mental problem, you follow a BOOK that is over 2000 years old like its a law made yesterday, face fact PEOPLE wrote it, it didnt just appear out of no where, your the mental nut!

        2. scotty

          i hope your real name isnt shannon cuz these fuckers are so crazy they my come after you im apparently trying to be gay by using my fake name scotty

          Reply
          1. Shannon

            Well yea my real name is Shannon, I didnt think about all that before I put up my first comment and just havent changed it, and how is Scotty gay? LOL they come up with some crazy shit, keeps me entertained all day long!

          2. Harold Camping

            Please be a little more civil in your discourse friend. And do not project gender confusion on others.

            Shannon, as we read in the Bible, is the manliest of all names.

            Adam begat Seth, who begat Enosh, who begat Kenan, who begat Mahalalel, who begat Jared, who begat Enoch, who begat Methuselah, who begat Lamech, who begat
            Noah, who begat Japheth, who begat
            Shannon – “He was the manliest of men” Ep 4.3 – and so on.

          3. Atheist

            Harold; if all of your biblical explanations were true, that would mean that all the people in the world came from Adam and Eve; that would make us ALL family. Black, white, yellow, red, whatever.
            Can you please explain to me how this fits your current beliefs??
            Why does incest always cause genetic problems, except for this case? And why would “real” Christians like yourself hate people who think different about things, if they are in fact all your family?? And what about people with names that aren’t used in the bible??

            Feel free to give me some answers to that; I’ll have about a hundred more questions like that. I feel so sorry for people like you… Makes me wonder what happened to you when you were young. Must be something really bad to make you this ignorant and pathetic….

          4. Shannon

            See thats the problem Atheist, they CANNOT answer our questions, the keep saying the bible knows all, but how can a book written by a man over 2000 years ago still be legit? I have never read it all the way through and have no interest to read it but I do know that its a bunch of fairy tails meant to scare idiots like this.

        1. Shannon

          Well tell that to all the other WOMEN Shannon’s out there, I know of more women Shannon’s than men. There are some famous ones to but you have probably never heard of them, Shannon Tweed, Shannon Doherty, Shannon Elizabeth we are all woman here.

          Reply
          1. Harold Camping

            Each uncovers and flaunts their milk bags and nether regions for money. That is not women. That the Bible calls whoredom.

            All are the Spawn of Satan.

    1. Christian Death

      Its A7X fuckhead and they arent actually christian they have a song called a little piece of heaven. it graphically describes a man murdering his girlfriend after she does not agree to marry him. he then systematically rapes the corpse. the corpse then becomes reanimated and kills the man. they then get married in hell and haunt the world killing innocent humans.
      they only reason they chose that name is because when the band was forming they thought the bible had badass name potential.

      Reply
    2. Hayley

      Hey Susan its A7X!! and guess where they got their start?? Hmmm, any guesses? Why yes it would be Warped Tour back in 1995!! They have been around for quit a while

      Reply
    3. Kiana

      “Sinful emo youth”? So I’m a devil worshiper because of the way I dress and the music I listen to? Thanks a lot…

      Reply
  8. Ruth

    As a frequent member of the Vans Warped Tour, you, my most confused young boy, are entirely that, confused. You clearly have never been to the tour or spoken to a kid/teen/adult who has been. To claim that you “know” what goes on at this tour, while never having gone to one, this amazes me. You claim that there are black market drugs available to any who goes and that homosexuality runs rampant during the tour. This is not true. Do you know that Underoath, a Christian band, has been a part of this tour? Do you know that kids/teens/adults go there for the music? And, I would like to know, what references do you have that say “emo” stands for “enter my orifice”? Last I heard, it is a type of genre of music like Rock-n-roll, or classical, jazz, or alternative. Although I feel like I should not have to justify my reply to this idiotic article, I am a Catholic. I have been raised by Catholics and I have attended Catholic school my entire life. My parents, who also went to Catholic school, knew exactly what this tour was and let me attend for multiple years. Amazingly, I am and always have been drug free. My best friend is a gay man, who my parents love, and shockingly he has never attempted to change my sexual orientation or tried to make me apart of your imaginary “gay agenda”. As of right now, I am in college and in a year I will be in your public schools teaching your children.

    Keith, see you in hell.

    Reply
    1. S.

      I am an atheist but I really loved your comment,Ruth.It just offends me when you can’t find any open minded religious people.I’m glad at least you shut them up :)

      Reply
    1. Christian Intellectual

      Satan is not your friend, he hates you and he only wants to take your soul. You are going to regret worshiping the devil when you die and go to hell.

      Reply
        1. Christian Intellectual

          Shannon:

          When i die, i am going to heaven with my lord and savior Jesus Christ.

          But godless unbelievers like YOU are going to hell.

          Reply
          1. Christian Intellectual

            You are going to Hell because HELL IS REAL.

            Even if you don’t believe in it YOU ARE GOING THERE ! Satan is going to torture you forever for not believing in God.

          2. Christian Intellectual

            There is ONLY ONE God. The Christian God. The God of the BIBLE.

            Believing in imaginary gods and false religions is also a ticket STRAIGHT TO HELL.

          3. Shannon

            Hell yea lets do it! We can do everything these people say is evil, then come back here tell them about it and scar their minds forever!

          4. Cici

            If god is “all forgiving” why would he condemn anybody?? Honest, if I found out there WAS a god after I died, I’d be like, oh shit, sorry about that. And he’s “supposed” to forgive people.

  9. Christian Intellectual

    The emos are depressed because they don’t have Jesus in their lives.

    I will pray for the destruction of this satanic anal drug fecal festival.

    Reply
    1. Ashley

      people like you are exactly the reason why i stopped going to church in the first place. you are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites who dont get the facts, and think that just because people listen to music other than worship music we are going to hell. you’ll be the one going to hell for passing judgement that you are not entitled to pass.

      Reply
      1. Taylor

        Not all christians are hypocrits. I am a christian. I have never been to warped tour so i have no right to say what goes on there and judge the people that go. Some christians just dont know how to represent themselves and the christian community and they lash out at people by telling then what they are doing is wrong and they are going to hell. That is not the right way to bring someone to christ, if anything it will drag them away. It is supposed to be through love. So those types of christians ruin it for the rest of us. I am not judging any of you so please dont judge me as being a hypocrit christian, there are some of us out there who serve our Lord in a rightous and loving way. I hope sone day you all can see the grace of God the way i see it.

        Reply
    2. Harls

      Christian “intellectual”? You clearly don’t have an education… so that names extremely misleading. Step into reality and realize that not everyones going to be like you. What happened to love your neighbor hmm? Is god everywhere? tell me that

      Reply
    1. Tyson Bowers III

      That is correct. I hear “BOTDF” is a hot ticket at these shows. Hear they simulate sex acts on stage.

      Reply
  10. Char

    You people should be ashamed of yourselves talking like you are. I don’t believe in God, but I would think that if you people are so into religion and going to heaven, you wouldn’t act like fucking heartless assholes. You’re earning yourselves a ticket right to Hell, but you are brainwashed to somehow think you are doing good. Well, you aren’t. Take a look in the mirror and grow up. I guarantee Scotty, Shannon and myself are younger than anyone else talking on this topic yet we are acting like actual adults, unlike you. People like you all disgust me :)

    Reply
    1. scotty

      lol im really not acting like an adult but i appreciate the compliment i gave up trying to act rational so i decided like i just love dick in my ass and sucking penis at the warped tour and doing drugs. =p

      Reply
    2. Shannon

      Thank you :) glad to see someone else finally gets in, I am actually 25, soon to be 26 but I know I am way smarter than those idiots that think they know it all.

      Reply
  11. Char

    I bet most of these people are in their 30’s or older. I’m only 19. You’re 25. It just shows how low some people can sink. It’s sad really. But I don’t think people like them will ever change, so all we can do is not let it bother us and state what we know is wrong and right! Just horrible to see people like this actually exist all over the world!

    Reply
    1. Shannon

      I agree I really just like coming on here and fucking with them, its my amusement for my boring day. BUT everything I say is true they just dont like it.

      Reply
      1. Christian Intellectual

        Proof ? Evidence? Sources ?.

        You are just making stuff to justify your demonic depraved lifestyle.

        Reply
          1. L.N

            And that jackass is WHY you’re wrong. The Bible is full of inconsistencies and has been proven wrong on so many other subjects, yet assholes like you refuse to get with the times, 2000 year later.

          2. Shannon

            The bible is the word of a MAN and you cannot prove otherwise, half of the shit in there would break the law! Yea thats something I really wanna live by *rolls eyes*

        1. L.N

          Hey, you all just go “ITS FAKE!” whenever we post sources, AND you all refuse to provide your own. Until you man the fuck up and admit you’re wrong, why can’t we play out of the same play book?

          Reply
          1. Shannon

            Havent you realized its only good for them, they can make shit up all day long but once we can PROVE something they thing everybody else is lying, fucking hypocrites

          1. Shannon

            Yea I never realized besides the cults I see getting arrested on TV that there were this many people that thought this way, glad I was raised in a non-church household I would have hated to turn out like this o.O

          2. scotty

            lol my dad was raised jewish my mom was raised catholic i (just cuz my grandmother was a very religious catholic) wanted me and my sister to receive all of our “sacraments” but my parents let me and sister believe whatever we would like they have never pushed one side or the other im the only non believer in my family and they are totallt cool with it

          3. Shannon

            Well my dad grew up baptist and hated it, my mom grew up Jehovah witness and hated it, so they never pushed anything on me because they grew apart from their families themselves

  12. Adam Nelson

    If you want to see the final downfall of America, give homosexuals the right to marry and adopt children. They will corrupt the final generation and we will fall.

    Reply
    1. Shannon

      Face fact, they have the right to marry in most states and will soon have the right all over the county, and I would rather see them having kids than you! At least they understand that you cant treat things you dont understand like dirt!

      Reply
    2. L.N

      How? Because they’re happy that they can raise a child who knows what love is? Contrary to your belief, homosexuals just want to marry and adopt children so that they can have a family. They don’t rape children, they don’t assault them, they don’t molest them, they don’t do anything. RAPISTS and MOLESTERS and MURDERERS are the ones that do that. You equate people who prefer the same gender to people who are literally fucked up in the head and harm human beings.

      Reply
  13. JesusMegaPower

    [img]http://www.ironydesign.com/avatars/avimages/text020.gif[/img] These heathen gay comments upset Jesus so much! Be assured that He is coming soon to do His work, which is to cleanse the world of sodom-sin, emo suck rock, and uncooked fish! These bands blaspheme the sweet name of holy baby mega super Jesus with their eye makeup and anal suction attention! It is so written that to paint ones eyes with the smudge of Satan is blasphemy that will surely be punished by the Lord’s holy avenging prostate power! Jesus commands that no man should take another man’s scepter-rod within his nether sepulchre, no matter how perfectly formed, succulent, and rock-hard that man-staff might be!

    Reply
    1. dumbstruck

      Im pretty sure Jesus never said any of that because it is completely vulgar and not very christian and if you are going to quote the Bible how about you quote the entire passage instead of just part of it. The only thing you are doing is making you and everyone else on these site who believes the blasphemy this guy is saying look like complete idiots. As for Warp Tour most of the bands that play are straight edge and if you don’t know what that means then maybe you should do some research before you write about something, they have booths there that promote abstinence/ safe sex, and its taking back sunday you idiot not taking it back to sunday.In conclusion before you go blasting something that you have no idea about how about you go back to your college days where im sure you did illegal drugs and had unmartial sex and remember how to write a research paper…i’ll give you a hint you have to actually research the subject you are writing on

      Reply
  14. Pot smoking atheist

    This is just….wow. I don’t even know where to begin into saying how wrong you are. “Enter my orifice”, really? Sounds like the author has a lot of homosexual tension he’s gotta get out. Come on people, just…yeah, I’mma pray for you man.

    Reply
  15. Tyson Bowers The Turd

    Wow you are one ingnorent person. First thing I noticed about your little rant of hate was in the very first paragraph. You spelt PABST Blue Ribbon, paps blue ribbon. You might justify that by saying that your not a drinker, whatever.
    Secondly, EMO stands for EMOtional, as those emo kids are overly dramatic and emotional.
    3rd, Who the hell is Taking It Back To Sunday? The band I think your refering to is TAKING BACK SUNDAY.
    Fourthly, Sum 41 is a post-punk rock band. Not at all EMO! And you explanation of what the name of the band stood for made giggle, ALOT. And also cause me to stop reading the rest of your hate rant, because like I said. Your ignorant, and obviously dont know your facts. Not to mention all the dirty, nasty filthy things that you said.

    i.e. – hyper-colored handjob, enter my orfice, “Sum-one put their twiddle rompus inside me, while I’m on all fours”…that one made me laugh., sex circles….and so forth. Your dumb.

    Reply
  16. Ashley

    This is a joke right? obviously the author of this article has never been to warped tour.

    First i would like to say that God is the only one who is supposed to pass judgement, so why do you think it is alright for you to do so? Stereotyping all 22,000+ people that go to this event into one category… REALLY?!?! what kind of “CHRISTIAN” are you?

    It is not called “Warped Tour” do to the fact that kids go to warp their minds. it is purely a name and a name only. do you really think that a corporation such as VANS would promote all the things that you speak of here? that is just ridiculous and so hard to wrap my head around. Emo does not mean “Enter my Orifice” it simply means EMOtional. The music is just that, full of emotion by the people that wrote it.

    A pit is not a “Sex Circle where people enter the pit and shove their tongues down eachother’s throats.” on the contrary, it is meerly a form of dancing NOT associated with emo, but rather Metal.

    Sum 41 does not stand for “Sum-one put their twiddle rompus inside me, while I’m on all fours”. and i have no idea where you would even get that from. As for the other bands, its TAKING BACK SUNDAY – not taking IT back to sunday. and how do you get something demonic and sexual out of that, saves the day and joy electric land?

    as for people bringing drugs in the show, you can’t assume that everyone does. you know what happens when you assume right? you make an ass out of you and me…. or in this case, just you.
    just because their have been instances where people have you can’t say everyone will. it happens everywhere. and i must admit, it seems like you were on shrooms when you wrote this because you have NO IDEA what you are talking about. seriously.

    You really need to educate yourself before writing an article, especially for a christian website. You will make us all look like idiots when people realize that you have no clue what you are talking about.

    As for the website director himself…. perhaps you should check where your journalists are getting this from. he is making your website look as bogus as the people who said that the world was going to end.

    GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT, AND STOP BEING A HYPOCRITE.
    ….CHRISTIAN MY ASS.

    Reply
  17. Conrad Twitty

    Someone get these poor confused children to a detox center and than a prayer circle. I am troubled by their misguided attempts at distancing themselves from a society that doesn’t understand them, without realizing that Christ always does. The love they feel they can only get from homogay moshed pits and androgynous orgies is a puddle compared to the immense ocean of Christ’s.

    America’s youth is always in my prayers, as a Christian and as a father. I ask almighty, merciful God to guide them in this dark era.

    Reply
    1. Shannon

      I would never want to be your child, you are nuts. Everybody has the right to their opinion, and just because we dont agree with you that makes us evil and wrong, but we make a hell of alot more sense than you do.

      Reply
      1. Conrad Twitty

        The social contract we sign as citizens of God’s America. It clearly states that man’s actions, when in violation of our codes of conduct, can and must be judged. Your all-claps declaration of indignation is proof positive that your drug-addled mind cannot begin to comprehend the complexities of what you’re saying. If you can hear me beyond the haze of heroin that you’ve freebased off your lesbian lover’s vaginal area, understand that your “command” of biblical prescient is as boringly typical as your inability to construct a sentence.

        The Almighty judges our souls and the weight of our conviction in our praise of him. The Vans Warped Tour, how aptly named as they probably line-up vans full of illicit substances to warp your perception of reality, focuses your aggression towards society and takes advantage of your inner turmoil as a youth to further the Satanist homogay agenda.

        Step away from the vitriol, Ashley. That rhetoric you think is so razor sharp is more suited to spreading butter on my morning toast than cutting another piece from the loaf.

        Reply
        1. Ashley

          hahaah!!!! you are just as pathetic as the moron who wrote this bogus article. get your facts straight you hypocrite.

          Reply
          1. Conrad Twitty

            I would not be such an avid ChristWire supporter without having absolute conviction in my beliefs. However, you seem just fine haphazardly accusing us of wrongdoing. Humorous, because it’s exactly what you’re wildly waving your finger at us for. How very hypocritical of *you*.

            Perhaps, you should have paid closer attention in your derelict public high school as opposed to spreading your legs for the head cheerleader’s wanton fist. It would have done you a world of good. Perhaps, you can take remedial English night courses at your local community college. You’ll need those skills to understand the intrinsic poetry of the word of God.

            Remember, Ashley, no sinner is without hope. Turn to The Lord! Cast your wicked dope-sickened, lesbian lifestyle aside! I will pray for your mind to be opened to the warm embrace of salvation!

  18. JesusMegaPower

    [img]http://www.ironydesign.com/avatars/avimages/text020.gif[/img] “Emo” also stands for “everyone must orgasm”! These misguided heathen children insist on writhing in an orgasmic sin-pile, filling every orifice without regard to God’s natural order. A “warped” tour, indeed! Warped with Satan’s homo-evil! Listen to what the Bible has to say: Deuteronomy 23:1 — No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord. Ezekiel 16:17 — You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.

    Reply
    1. Alison Manson

      EMO stands for Emotoinal which means they feel things alot more than anyone so if u say faggot some will cry others will pull out a 9 ml and blow ur brains out assholes

      Reply
  19. Ell

    You sir, are an idiot.
    You are a homophobic, sexist, stereotyping, egotistical little man and you don’t deserve to discuss or comment on anything anyone else says or partakes in.
    Firstly, going to a music festival does not make someone ’emo’ and, as surprised as you may be to hear it, i had no idea that emo stood for “enter my orifice”.
    Secondly, your twisted ideas about the entire warped tour revolving around gay sex are pathetic and completely wrong. Most teenagers attend tours, gigs or festivals to have a good time, which may indeed contain drinking, sexual encounters or even, god forbid drug taking. But it’s not the only reason. Usually the music is the main pull factor, hence why people pay $150…
    Furthermore, if there was a god who genuinely believed everything you just said, who the hell gave you the right to preach your nonsense? Grow up and leave people to do what they want. If you want to spend your life worshipping a non existent and chauvinistic bigot ‘God’ then please do it without preaching to the masses via the internet, or in fact by any other means.
    Oh, and a circle pit isn’t referred to as a ‘sex pit’ and ’emo kids’ do not join them in the hope for a swarded sexual encounter, instead it is a way of expressing musical enjoyment with other like-minded fans by dancing or ‘moshing’. No satanic tonsil tennis needed.
    Good luck with becoming less of a small minded, god preaching homophobe.
    m/ 666

    Reply
  20. S.

    Bahahahaha,this is the worst shit I’ve ever read.
    A pile of homophobic,and sexist worthless words that anger anyone with a free line of thought and that respect any other persons musical tastes.
    I am not emo,and I do enjoy MOSHING.Definition of moshing: running around in circles pushing around,and when someone falls you always pick them up.I have been to many festivals,worked for many festivals and I say from personal experience that I have never witnessed any of those orgies you describe so vividly.Maybe a vivid dream?
    So please,before you write an article,PLEASE DO SOME RESEARCH before you offend any more people.
    Good luck with becoming more open minded to the wonders of the world,especially music,because it can bring people together in more ways than religion can.

    Reply
      1. S.

        I don’t know? Dear Gary, I very well know what I do.I am defending music and all of its expressions,and freedom of being who you want to be without others judging you on a nonbased opinion.

        Reply
  21. Colin

    This is why I go to a modern church. Not filled with bullshit. We play music. We listen to each other. We even listen to some of these types of bands. Ever hear of August Burns Red, The Charriot or Underoath. Maybe you should do some more reading up on them before you start spewing bullshit. August Burns Red has an organization called brick by brick You can read about it here. http://www.brickbybricknetwork.com/theplan.asp
    And what do you know they are playing Warped Tour! You should open your mind more and do your research before you right some shitty story.

    Reply
    1. JesusPower

      Satan has surely taken hold of you, as evidenced by your misspellings, liberal vocabulary, and lack of punctuation. True Christians properly write English as Jesus instructed in His holy Bible. We will pray for you, brother.

      Reply
      1. Kristine

        Then you should read Tyson’s article AGAIN, because I saw many spelling errors and lack of puncutation. Hypocrisy at it’s finest.

        Reply
  22. Alison Manson

    Gee-zuz! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my god this is too funny stop stop OK before u make me pee hahahahahahahahahahahaha. look vans warped tour is to encourage kids to express themselves through music and to live life to the fullest u guys assume that this is the devils work bt the truth is that u r the devils work if there is one ok? music makes everything happen, and if u deprive ur kids of the outside world they will find it in a more harmful and dangerous way so this anal womb u speak of doesn’t exsist so all u jesus freaks gotta grow up and see the truth at last it becomes easier when u do oh and i go to the tour when i can and like always i donate for this to happen and i do the same for the church and music

    Reply
  23. Kristina

    LOL to this whole article.

    Have you ever actually been in a mosh pit? Because from someone who has participated in many, I can assure you that there is no exchange of tongues from anyone, gay or straight (because believe me, there are tons of straight people who come out to this show, including myself), and as a woman, I haven’t ever had to deal with anyone touching me inappropriately (and that’s from a VERY conservative point of view). People who are in mosh pits are extremely respectful to those around them, and they will do what it takes to protect everyone else.

    Also, as someone who has worked at the Warped Tour (as well as many other major music festivals), I have to correct you: No one does shrooms at Warped except maybe a handful of concert-goers. That’s a favorite for the weekend fests like Bonnarroo or Lolla. Warped is mostly a pot-based crowd if any, and there really isn’t a lot of underage drinking being as no one is allowed to bring liquids inside the gates; IF vendors sell alcohol, they are required to check IDs.

    Also, I need to know: where can I get “magic fuzzy” pills? I have never heard of these kinds of things and need to see it with my own eyes before I can stop laughing at this.

    Reply
  24. James

    Hey Christians,

    I’m going to reserve MY opinions on your article for a minute, because I really want to hear yours.

    So some of the replies there have been so far have been riddled with profanities…but look beyond the words guys; fair is fair, what proof do you have (and i’m asking for cold hard evidence here) that ANY of the bold statements made in the original article are factual?

    Or where the heck did you get your facts from?

    Is it really a very Christian thing to do to generalise hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people globally by a genre of music they happen to listen to?

    And finally, if Christians really love everyone, then quite what was the point in writing an article based on fantasised, dramatically exaggerated, and completely foundationless statements, which clearly has the sole intention of directing hatred towards an epically diverse group of people (who you’ve tried to stereotype) that attend a particular music event?

    You’ve made your snidey comments at some earlier posts, and miraculously managed to conveniently dodge the posts that really ask something of you.

    Cold hard evidence for the statements in your article, or you’re just a bunch of foolish, libellious extremists.

    Reply
    1. JesusPower

      I can only assume “libellious” is some form of liberal code for Satanic humanism, as it does not appear in the Holy Bible or in man’s bastard step-child “dictionary.” May His holy Word forever remove the sin-spectacles clouding your vision, and may you renounce your anal diddling and testicle-suckling.

      Reply
        1. JesusPower

          No one who doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re” should be calling anyone else an idiot. Perhaps English is not your first language, in which case you should learn it correctly as Jesus intended. The Bible contains all of the proper words anyone ever needs.

          Reply
          1. A Person

            Jesus was from Jerusalem. He spoke Hebrew. He probably looked more like Saddam Hussein than the white man with brown hair depicted in most pictures of him. The bible did not originate in Englisha and if you say it did then it must be just a fictional story because Jesus DID NOT SPEAK ENGLISH. Nor did probably all of the people whose lives he “touched”.

          2. jchc

            Jesus was not white he was middle eastern and spoke hebrew because he was a jew and just because your bible is in english doesnt mean anything. you do know the bible is translated into hundreads of other languages.

  25. Oranje

    Seriously, is this a joke? Or is this an actual, serious article written by a real Christian fundamentalist? I find it hilarious either way.

    Reply
  26. trololoooooooooool

    yall been trolled. its funny because chiristian bands like abr or underoath have played there.

    Reply
  27. nightmare

    Then you have bands with names like Taking It Back to Sunday, Saves the Day and Joy Electric Land,

    LOL taking back sunday….

    Reply
  28. Kenny

    This is the biggest load of bollocks ever!! LOL

    even if any of this was true, why is it any of your business..

    watch this video and move into the 21st century.. douche!

    Kenny

    Reply
  29. Ryan

    Wow, whoever wrote this is completely warped. I’ve been to many Warped Tours over the years and have never seen any of this. I’ve seen more radical Christian fundamentalist at these shows than gays giving “hyper colored hand jobs.” We call then NAZI skinheads. And, yes, they absolutely share the author’s beliefs.

    Reply
  30. Ro

    i think that this is judging. and god teaches to be whatever you want. Emo is emotionally unstable. so instead of being horrible to them help them. isn’t that what being christian about? you have been so horrible here. just because they may not be as you want them but they are still humans and still deserve the right to do as they want. the warped tour isn’t as bad as you say.

    Reply
  31. erected flesh sword

    This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. I can’t believe that people who believe this crap actually exist outside of satirical cinema and Saturday Night Live.

    Reply
  32. Christina

    This is the most hateful, misinformed christian propaganda I have ever seen. It is disgusting what lies this person published, spreading hate and anger to other christians for something that does not even exist.

    Reply
  33. paul dalton

    yet more comments from people who believe having an opinion and freedom to express it makes said opinion automatic fact. i love this site. i hope they keep rubbing you uptight morally incontrovertible hippie douchebags the wrong way. please keep the faith and continue fighting- there are a few of us who love christ and seek your guidance.

    Reply
  34. Crash

    wait, this a joke site, right? Emo = emotional, as in the style of music? oh wow, I actually hope this isn’t a joke site. Way to actually be educated and informed extremist Christian Right! haha. I’m dying with laughter here!

    Reply
  35. Vanessa

    Whats really funny about this whole article is how stereo typical it is. I have been going to warped tour since i was thirteen and i am now nineteen and not once have ever gone for drugs or to drink and have never been offered or seen any other drug there other than some weed. I go for the music which is what the majority of the people are there for. Yeah there are going to be the select few individuals who engage in smoking a joint or go to get hammered but that happens at every music festival but to say that warped tour as a whole is that way is ignorant.

    Reply
  36. lazarus

    you know its pretty funny because……the past years i’ve been to warped tour i’ve seen christian bands performing. you christian people are so funny. half of my friends are christians and they go to this event. and vans are shoes. not drug selling shit or shoes worn in the fucking ghetto.

    Reply
  37. Someone who isn't ignorant.

    For one, it’s called “Taking Back Sunday” not “Taking it back to Sunday” and two, Vans are a shoe brand.
    You’re obviously blinded by your zombie worshiping ways and too ignorant to get real information.
    There’s a reason you’re publishing articles on some mind warped Christian site and not publishing in REAL newspapers that people with their own brain actually READ.
    If you were a real reporter, you’d be fired so quickly. So, so quickly.
    And you know, there are rock bands that are heavily influenced by Christian culture, it’s a genre called Christian rock, but I suppose because they’re singing about a dead guy and an invisible giant, it’s alright.
    People like you are so ignorant and full of yourselves it’s astonishing. I’m surprised you make it day to day since anything that differs from your opinion is a ‘sin’. For some reason I always thought that Christianity was about tolerance, love and forgiveness?
    You people are the most least tolerable folks I’ve ever had the displeasure of sharing oxygen with.

    Reply
  38. Pingback: Christwire: the moral voice of a debauched society. Or not.

  39. Jesusisacunt

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
    You serious?
    Jesuse is a cunt! Christianity is for retarded cunts and if you believe this then you deserve to be gang raped by these so called drugged up emo’s

    Reply
    1. glitch

      inapropriate dude just bc you don’t agree with them doesnt mean their cunts do i ever resort to name calling in any of my posts?

      Reply
  40. Cailyn

    Im going to vans warped tour this yr (totally gonna get anal piercings and get something up the butt) if u asses can’t tell because your brains are to small that’s sarcasm. Vans Warped tour helps people. Ever herd of To Write Love On Her Arms??? They go to Vans Warped Tour every year. That organization saves peoples lives. Saved mine you ass wholes. Music and vans warped saved my life. Don’t you ever bitch on things that do that. If you don’t like the music there then sucks for u. No NORMAL teenager listens to your faggoty christian music No why??? CAUSE IT’S STUPID AND THERES NO GOD!

    Reply
    1. Harold Camping

      Young man,

      While I doubt we can minster sufficiently to stop you from disfiguring your body, please ensure that clean piercing needles – preferably titanium, autoclaved for 10 minutes – are employed.

      The anal area is particularly susceptible to disease. The Van Tour piercing tents are notorious for spreading AIDS and other STDs.

      Reply
      1. U Mad?

        Heeeeeeey Harold! Surprised to see you here after the Rapture….you were invited weren’t you? I got Raptured as fuuuuuuuuuck 😀

        Reply
  41. jchc

    please tell me this is all a joke right. you just wrote this and posted it all for a big loke the same with that nfg thing

    Reply
  42. jchc

    please do not argue with these people you are not going to hell because of the music you listen to your tattoos or pircings. Jesus loves he died to have a relationship with you

    Reply
  43. Bad Wolf

    The wildly popular Christianity-promoting band The Devil Wears Prada has used this festival as a stage to spread their beliefs, just pointing it out.

    I personal believe in myself, rather than a mystical being said to live in the clouds who hates most of the people ‘he’ created, but I find it funny that you all wish to create controversy where there really shouldn’t be any. It is merely a gathering of musicians during the summer months endorsed by Vans footwear and clothing company.

    Reply
  44. TokioHotel.BOTDF.Lauren

    1. Those guys aren’t emo. I’m pretty sure they are scene.
    2. Vans are a shoe brand.
    3. The Warped Tour is kickass. Wanted to go this year, but my mom said no.
    4. Susan, that emo lawn comment, though a tad humorous, is offensive.
    5. Emo is short for emotional.
    6. A7x is not a christian band.
    7. Don’t hate on what you don’t know a damn thing about.

    Ok? Ok!

    Lauren

    Reply
  45. Brit

    Those of you getting extremely angry and “yelling” in all caps…you could not be more clueless. This is satire. If you don’t know the word, find a dictionary and look it up. As psychotic as most fundamentalist nuts are, there is a line…and this dances on it. If you had half a brain, you would get it.

    Reply
  46. Cici

    I’m sorry, I just peed myself laughing. How about you actually GO to one of these concerts before writing about it? And I’m a 15 year old girl with MUCH better grammar than you will ever have. It’s called an editor honey, find one. “Their” not “there”. Big difference. But I could go on for hours about your less than adequate grammar. But how about you get the band names RIGHT before analyzing them? It’s “Taking Back Sunday” not “Taking It Back To Sunday” and it kind of means seize the day. The funny thing is, a lot of Christian bands play at Warped tour, you just don’t pay much attention. For example, “The Devil Wears Prada” a band that I admire. There are also many wonderful aspects of the concert, such as “To Write Love On Her Arms” that saves people from themselves, and they do some fundraising for charities. Not everybody there does drugs and if they do, it’s their choice. I, for one, do not. Emo can mean a lot of things but I have NEVER before heard “enter my orifice”, it just made me die of laughter. If you put it that way, anything could be an acronym for something silly like that! “Chewing Hairy Ripped Insecestual Stupid Teenagers While Impersonating Red Elephants” could be the REAL meaning behind this website name, Christwire! The author of this piece of writing obviously already has a dirty mind to be putting so many vulgar double meanings into things. I’m not here to yell at anybody for your beliefs and I’m not here to call anybody stupid but this article is just plain DUMB. Poorly researched, poorly written, this person probably didn’t even TALK to people from the concerts or go to one himself. The point of the concert is to express individuality, a point that is often reflected in the lyrics of the songs played, expression and being unique. Granted, there are songs about sex. There are songs about sex in almost every genre of music! And it doesn’t matter where teenagers are, they’re still going to do the same stupid things anywhere else. They’re still going to do drugs anywhere else. It’s a fact of life and perhaps they will grow up someday and regret their actions but it’s not up to you to rule their lives, or force your beliefs down their throats. A lot of Christians dissapprove of the modern way of living. Put it this way, were we not in this modern day and age, most teenagers would already be married living their own lives by now. Parents would have no control, that’s just how it was. People got married at the age of 12 in the past. And you people would have no say in what that child did after that. Personally, I think this article is unfounded and written by somebody who is off his rocker. But that’s my opinion. Am I an immature person? Did I curse or scream or yell? No. I’m just explaining the idiocy of the person who wrote this and trying to clear things up for some hard-headed people that I would rather not share the same existance in this life with. You can believe in your god, there’s nothing wrong with that. But you people just take it to the extreme. I firmly do not believe in god, that doesn’t make me a satan-worshipper or a nut. But the way you all talk about your god, I’m beginning to believe that YOU all are!

    Reply
  47. A Person

    Cassie (Acoustic)-Flyleaf

    The question asked in order to save her life or take it.
    The answer ‘no’, avoiding death and ‘yes’ would make it.

    ‘Do you believe in God?’ written on the bullet.
    Say yes to pull the trigger and my sister, Cassie, pulled it.

    They didn’t love their lives so much, as to shrink from death.
    Inspired in their footsteps, we will march ahead.
    Don’t be shocked that people die.
    Be surprised you’re still alive.

    All heads are bowed in silent reverence.
    The floor is wet with tears of sorrowful remembrance.
    The alter’s filled with hearts of repentance.
    Perfect love kills all fear.
    Rejoice in this deliverance!

    They didn’t love their lives so much, as to shrink from death.
    Inspired by their footsteps, we will march ahead.
    Don’t be shocked that people die.
    Be surprised you’re still alive.

    Cassie- Flyleaf

    The question asked in order
    To save her life or take it
    The answer no to avoid death
    The answer yes would make it
    Make it

    Do you believe in God
    Written on the bullet
    Say yes to pull the trigger
    Do you believe in God
    Written on the bullet
    And Cassie pulled the trigger

    All heads are bowed in silence
    To remember her last sentence
    She answered him knowing what would happen
    Her last words still hanging in the air
    In the air

    Do you believe in God
    Written on the bullet
    Say yes to pull the trigger
    Do you believe in God
    Written on the bullet
    And Cassie/Rachel pulled the trigger

    How many will die
    I will die
    I, I will say yes

    Do you believe in God
    Written on the bullet
    Say yes to pull the trigger
    Do you believe in God
    Written on the bullet
    And Cassie pulled the trigger

    (Do you believe)
    Do you believe in God (Do you believe)
    Do you believe in God (Do you believe)
    Do you believe in God
    And I will pull the trigger

    Both of these versions of the song are from the Christian band Flyleaf. They played at Warped Tour. Cassie Bernal was a victim at the Columbine High School Massacre. She was allegedly asked by the shooter if she believed in God and she said yes. She also allegedly didn’t die with the first shot and she was asked again if she still believed in God and she still said yes, knowing what was going to happen. This song was dedicated to Cassie and Rachel(another victim) because they stood up for what they believed in. Still think the bands at Warped Tour are satanic?

    Reply
  48. A Person

    You know, the devil’s number is only 666 because the number six stands for women in power and feritlity, right?

    Reply
  49. A Person's mom

    To the author: you are seriously perverted and sick to have that kind of imagination! How did you come up with these fantasies? Get some professional help!

    Reply
  50. space

    Soon enough Tyson you will die, and that’s what I will thank God for. You are a disgusting and wildly perverted individual, how you consider yourself a Christian eludes me.

    Reply
  51. Chris Roach

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    Despite all the gay bashing/slander that is just riddled through this absolutely terrible excuse for an article, you forgot to highlight many of the christian founded acts that play warped year after year. Case in point, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Devil_Wears_Prada_(band) link to their wiki if you don’t believe me)

    See this is why christianity gets such a bad wrap from the general secular public. Worshiping God and Jesus privately is quickly becoming personal preference due to ill and uniformed bible thumpers like the one who wrote this stupid column RUINING the open-armed ideology of the christian faith that should be first rate. this makes me sick. I’d rather people think im an atheist or agnostic person, than associate myself with the like minded people who associate with the thought process in this piece of garbage.

    Reply
  52. goddamnit

    What? are you fuckin kidding me?! i went to warped tour and didnt even get one multicolored hand job! now i feel like i didnt get my money’s worth… and where were you finding all these youngin’s drinking PBRcause i was sober as a judge all day just begging for a bit of alcohol! fuck me right?! aha

    Reply
  53. Shay

    This is a bunch of bull shit. If you have even gone to see what its like you would know that warped tour isnt even about that. There a few kids that do drugs or stuff you talked about, but like most Americans you like to dwell on the negative rather than the positive. They have anti drug tents there, anti smoking, they have straight edge bands which are FULLY against drugs, alcohol, and sex before marraige. Do some research before you go posting shit articles. People like you are the reason people retaliate and do drugs. Youre a joke. And by the way cops are there the entire time. And they have security guards everywhere. And they do a body search before you even enter the area where they are holding Warped Tour. I went and STAYED sober. I didnt engage in sexual activity. Nor did anyone I see. Go suck a dick dude and get a life.

    Reply
    1. Yeah ...

      First of all, Shay. This website is satire, so don’t worry about it. It’s all a joke.

      Second, FOR GOD’S SAKE … if you’re going to call people out on making baseless generalizations, don’t be a fucking hypocrite and do the EXACT SAME THING. And I quote you:

      “There a few kids that do drugs or stuff you talked about, but like most Americans you like to dwell on the negative rather than the positive.”

      Oh thanks! I’m glad the 300,000,000+ community of Americans are all the glass-half-empty type. Or maybe you’re just a hypocrite.

      Reply
  54. Aaron

    hahahaha made me giggle! Thank fuckin Christ for all the senical “morally rightous” assholes. Thanks for reminding me why I would much wrather burn in hell then follow a grudge holding, god that you worship. 😀

    Reply
  55. No

    I can not believe you would write and post something like this. There is not one shred of truth to this entire article. Making up meanings for “emo” or “Sum-41″ is far fetched and ridiculous. I hope that no one in their right mind actually believes any of this. Its people like you that corrupt the young minds of today with your super christian beliefs that deem everything in this world evil… well if everything is so evil why dont you feel free to move to a deserted island and start over or just kill yourselves so you dont have to write absolutely fucking bias shit.

    Reply
  56. Allie

    This guy is just pissed cause he’s never been to warped tour….what a fuckin weirdo. He thinks everyone has sex there…. go to hell. It’s all about the music.

    Reply
  57. Apathy

    This is the reason I don’t believe in god, and why most people don’t. Why would we want to be with a group of people filled with so much hate? I went to warped tour and i’m straight, drug free, and not satanic. Was jumping to conclusions really neccessary?

    Reply
  58. You don't need to know my name

    This is completely insane, Warped tour isn’t all about getting drunk or high or having sex with everyone in sight. Its about listening to good music,Something you have probably never heard. Don’t be so quick to judge. Just because you do not approve of the style of music doesn’t mean its “gay”. Just stop writing this bull.

    Reply
  59. You don't need to know my name

    This is completely insane, Warped tour isn’t all about getting drunk or high or having sex with everyone in sight. Its about listening to good music,Something you have probably never heard. Don’t be so quick to judge. Just because you do not approve of the style of music doesn’t mean its “gay”. Just stop writing this bull. Pathetic.

    Reply
  60. gjfighf

    None of this shit is true. I’m an emo kid, and this makes me ASHAMED to be christian. I went to Warped Tour this year.

    Reply
  61. Rebecca

    Oh wow, you people will believe anything to make yourselve feel better about your own sad pathetic lives. First and foremost you don’t even know what a mosh pit is, theres nothing sexual about it, its simply a bunch of angsty teens and young adults getting together and shoving each other to the thrill of the music. As for the names of bands listed above almost none of them are correct. For example its not Taking it Back to Sunday, its Taking Back Sunday. So before you go making biased opinions about these music festivles, maybe you should do a little more research beyond your own sheltered bible humping world.

    Reply
  62. Shay

    Just Putting It Out There, Emo Is Short For Emotional. So Guess What, EVERYONE IS EMO! 😀 Get Over It -.- Are You Going To Start On Gay’s Now? If You Do I Swear. Start On Different Ethnic Backgrounds? God Isn’t Telling You To Do This, Like I Said, I’m Atheist. But If You Go By The Bible, He Created Everyone Equal. So Your Just Turning Your Backs On Your God, Do Some More Research On Things Before You Go Say Untrue Stuff About Them. Warped Tour Doesn’t Make You Emo. You People Make No Sense. Have Fun At The Rapture. I’ll Be Happy When Your All Gone -.-

    Reply
  63. Shay

    Oh Yeah And By The Way, My Uncles Gay. And I Don’t Give A SHIT! I Think Anyone Bi, Gay, Straight, Or Whatever They Are, Are Perfectly Fine.So If You Think Different, FUCK YOU!

    Reply
  64. Hannah Biersack

    Wow. You really have to be a long minded, pathetic, and clueless asshole if you agree with the fucking scrub who wrote this. Because warped tour is NOTHING like that. What a pathetic piece of shit you are. Judgmental assholes. Isn’t it God’s job to judge? [:
    Have fun in HELL

    Reply
  65. Doni

    Bull shit!! Vans Warped Tour is NOTHING like that, youre all just a bunch of fucking steryotypical ass holes who think everything revolves around the shit you talk!

    Reply
  66. Kelli

    You’ve got to be kidding me…..You have no evidence to back up what you just said 😀 and people like you are the reason people think that Christians are close minded and stuck up idiots. And seeing all these shit filled articles I’m starting to think the people who say that are correct…

    Reply
  67. Leila

    I’m going to hell. And I’m quite content with it. I was raised to respect EVERYONE, no matter who they are. And I have a CHRISTIAN FATHER. He NEVER said to DISCRIMINATE against ANYONE. Warped Tour, is in fact and amazing where teens of ALL kinds come together and listen to the MUSIC that brings us TEENS together. Not you old pedophiles on this site. Whether you hate it or not, It’s STILL going to happen. I went this year, and I’m going next. I guess I’m homosexual and a satan worshiper. YAY ME! 😀 SEE YOU IN HELL, LOVEBUGS!

    P.S. As Of This Point; I’M PAINTING A VOODOO DOLL. I’M GOING TO PUT ALL OF YOUR NAMES ON IT.

    Have a nice day and may satan haunt you.

    Reply
  68. Asiy

    Just because we’re not perfect doesn’t mean you need to spread lies about what we do for fun. There isn’t drinking or drugs a Warped just mosh pits and a lot of dancing and head banging. No one can be perfect. NO ONE! You not perfect, I’m not perfect, they’re not perfert. We’re all special in our own way, and if that means someone wants to get high or wasted, let them.

    Reply
  69. skyler

    haha, if your such a christian why are you judging people sir? Christians are supposed to be nice and helpful. people like you are the reason why I can’t stand going to church. I have been to warped tour (i am christian) and yeah some kids might do things that irresponsible but that is by God their own choice; and sir their are homosexuals in this world. this may mangle your brain a little bit but if God created everything and had known what was going to happen he must not be against them. No the bands there aren’t all about satan they mainly sing about love or heartbreak. So don’t say crap about stuff until you actually know. People like you make me sick to my stomach. God has something planned for all of us no matter what sexual orientation we are, or if we do drugs and drink, or if we listen to music that is not country or christian. We are all his children and he put us here for a reason. he loves every single person on this earth.
    He says for us to do the same : Love thy neighbor.
    Which apparently you are incapable of.
    So good day to you and may you come to a smart conclusion that you are wrrong and biased.

    Reply
  70. Carmilla

    seriously? Just, like really? I laugh at you Jesus freaks, on a daily basis for your bullshit. If you’re so Christian, then why are you judging and hating on people? Aren’t Christian suppose to love and forgive? Yeah, you freak do a shitty job.

    Reply
  71. Emo Gender Bending Deviant.

    Hi I am one of those emo gender bending deviants you talked about, I loooove being who I am 😉

    It is hot and I love emo music and hair, I love to get fucked by boys in the ass too. Yeah I’m totes going to hell, but the good news is I’m going with everyone else that you don’t like, so that means I will LOVE them 😀

    It will be one big paaaartaaay down in hell with all of us.

    Have fun when you die. Because we all KNOW you will be in hell with us.

    Reply
  72. Sammi Loves BVB

    YOUR SUCH AN IGNORANT FUCK!!! I LOVE WARPED TOUR!!! QUIT USING THE LABEL ‘EMO’!!!!!!!! YOUR SO RETARDED!!! FUCK YOUR LIKE 80!! DONT YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TALK SHIT!! GO TO HELL BITCH!!! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU!! YOUR SO HATEFUL!! ITS PATHETIC!! JUST STOP!!! WE ARE NOT CANS OF SOUP SO DONT FUCKING LABEL US!!!! BITCH, YOUR SO FUCKING MEAN SATAN IS JEALOUS!!! FUCK YOU!!! BACK OFF ALL OF OUR FAVORITE BANDS!!! YOUR JUST SAD THAT WE ARE BETTER!!! CAUSE WE DONT SPEND OUR LIFE BELIEVING IN SUCH NONSENSE!! YOU KNOW WHAT IM DONE WITH YOU!! YOU AND YOUR CHRISTIAN LIES!!! DONE!! JUST QUIT WRITING THESE FAKE ASS STORIES!! ALL YOU GET IS HATE!! ITS ALL MOTHERFUCKING DUMB IGNORANT PATHETIC TRASHY ATTENTION SEEKING LIES!! GET A FUCKING LIFE AND QUIT MAKING UP STUPID SHIT!!!

    Reply
    1. Timmay

      “WE ARE NOT CANS OF SOUP SO DONT FUCKING LABEL US…”

      Ha, that’s very clever. In your case, I fear, the contents of the can have spoiled.

      Reply
  73. Marissa

    hay, um. fuck you. warped tour is epic, and not like that at all. not even remotely. i like being a gender bending deviant. fuck christianity. fuck people like you who think that everything is evil. news flash: YOUR THE EVIL ONES. GO DIE PLEASE.

    Reply
  74. Ellie

    I’m so excited for next years Warped Tour, you have no fucking idea!
    I hope it’s as good as this years…lol

    Reply
  75. Rhiannon

    u fucking retards ,warped is not about or involves any of that . its just a get together for Punk rockers and to hang out and get away from your parents and EMO is a style and so what if your GAY , GET THE FUCK OVER IT , u taught your kids to be who they wanna be and express them selfs .. so we do it and now your getting mad ?? SO WHAT IM NOT YOUR LITTLE PRINCESS , im me and i like it and thts reely all tht matters :)

    Reply
  76. Eff off :P

    Look, I hate to be rude, but you do not worship god, you worshi[p the devil. So, stop trolling around the internet and go find yourself a woman mate 😛

    Reply
  77. You're a disgrace to religion

    You make these stupidly wild accusations about ’emo’ music which are completely ridiculous. It’s easy to see that this is blatant shit dribble on the internetl. It’s purely opinion based and there aren’t really any facts to support the article are there? There’s nothing to prove that the vans warped tour is a breeding ground for drug abuse is there? Yes, people take drugs at these festivals but people took drugs at Glastonbury, V festival and theres probably been some drug taking at Christian music festivals to.

    I see this as a stunt to get Internet hits and make some money, and to maybe breed some hate whilst you’re at it eh! Religion is a wonderful, life affirming way of living and everybody involved with this website is tainting that. This is not how religion should be.

    Reply
  78. Kiana

    HAHAHAHAHAH you got the band names completely wrong, and why cant we just enjoy our music? Its not really any of your business. And who are you to say that we are “unchristian”? Why do you have to judge us without even knowing us? There is a distinction between boys and girls, and none of this stuff even happens. You described Mosh Pits completely wrong. I went to warped tour and I have never taken drugs. While I enjoy listening to screamo and rock, I also like classical music. I play the guitar, but I also play the violin. Warped Tour is actually a lot of fun. Don’t judge us by the way we dress and the music we listen to. If you’re such a “good christian” then you should remember that God loves us for who we are.

    Reply
  79. BVB, BOTDF, FIR are my saviors!

    I loved warped tour. There is high security so no drugs, drinking, or sex. I got to see and meet my favorite bands and I will never forget it. Everyone, these guys are just jealouss because there is no “christian” music version of warped. Thank Jinxx for that!

    Reply
  80. BVBarmy, SGTC luv BOTDF FIR BMTH

    Ik…
    they b hatin’ us…cuz were fabulous…
    they b hatin’ us…cuz were glamorous
    –Ima Monster, BOTDF

    IDGAF…i can act and dress how I want . i don’t like mainstream music…so yeah, I don’t care bcuz its my life

    Reply
  81. God has no hate

    of course they dont know that warped tour has strict rules about no drugs or alchol and BTW I belive that God does not know what hate is life is something he gave you so live it how you want if you dont like this music then listen to a diffrent kind its your on choice and if you noticed that you only hate on one music style if you havent noticed there is worse thing we could listen to.. pop music (britney spears kesha etc.) BOTDF and BVB and asking alexandria and D.R.U.G.S (destroy rebuild until god shows ) are all talking about how you shouldnt let people get you down and how theres people out there that actually give a crap about you ..YOU should relize that what you so what christians are saying i know that GOD would not like the things your saying to other creatures he created

    Reply
  82. danielle-BVBarmy4evr

    is it just me or after reading that article you want to really go to warped tour?

    they made it sound like so much fun..

    Reply
  83. emma

    fuck you. you’re a dick who makes judgements from stereotypes created by certain republicans who have nothing better to do in their lives than complain. warped tour is an amazing place where people who enjoy the same music can unite. so get the fuck out of here and take your bullshit judgements with you too.

    Reply

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