Westboro Baptist Church’s New Target is Mensuration


Westboro Baptisr Church member holds up his anti-mensuration sign in front of his house.

The infamous protest group known as Westboro Baptist Church has switched gears with its message. Normally they are campaigns against homosexual who disgrace their God by interlocking themselves in duel man love relationships and they fight hard trying to keep the gay away from public spaces. Their new message is to stop females from using mensuration pads, as they are said to be created by “Homo friendly companies and by bleeding onto these rags angers God and also for each drop of clotted blood that makes contact with these abortion pads make Satan chuckle with masturbatory pleasures“. The church claims wearing one of these feminine protectors is just as bad as having an abortion in “a back ally using a coat hanger” and women should instead bleed on themselves rather than “giving their souls to Satan”. Another odd belief is that they think these companies also go and collect used pads and send them off to science facilities to test out stem cell research. Gay talk show king, Aaron Heier says “I rather have them fighting over bloody vags than making gay people bloody”. When asked what should women use instead, The Church suggested wads of Bounty Paper Towels and Napkins. “Heck, they can sop up a quart of ketchup at a Sunday BBQ, I’m sure they can absorb a bloody egg” said on member.

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