You Might Be Ghetto If You're Black

Let me start off by saying I love my sin skinned brothers, but the sad truth is, if you are a black, you might be living a unhealthy ghetto lifestyle that is destined to become a part of some news channel criminal report or be on Maury Povich trying to find a babies daddy or trying to disprove your responsibly as a father via a DNA test. No matter which it is, the path looks grim and unproductive.

That current statistics don’t lie about how many blacks decide to follow the path of Ghettoism and it shows that 87% of blacks fall into the “Ghetto” category. Good thing the people here at Christwire love all of God’s creations and we have made a list of items to help you find out if you be black or you be Ghetto black.

How To Tell If Your Are A Normal Black or Ghetto Black

Do you sell rocked crack coked cane to pay for your baby mother’s milk formula.

Normal blacks get income by one of two ways, welfare or minimum wage jobs. A ghetto black is far too lazy to wait in line for a bi-weekly check, or to work a full 8 hours to make some honest money. To even get up before 11am for work is the number 1 reason why blacks will not develop skills to work a normal job. Ghetto blacks make their “bling” by “slinging” low grade drug candy to young black youth in projects and white “homies” in suburban areas. A typical drug thug can make a good living, compared to average black living standards, but this is also why the black community is slowly losing its moral fibers.

If you eat KFC instead of Boston Market

Call me a racist if you want to hide yourself from the truth, but I can ask any black folk I see when they are washing my car if they likes themselves some chickens and nine out of ten will say “Yes”. Now out of the ones I tip, are the ones with a nicer smile and cleaner nails. I noticed also when asked where they buy their fried chicken from, the more clean cut and proper spoken ones say “Boston Market”. This tells me that they most likely live in a low-mid or high-low class neighborhood, where a Boston Market would actually place one of their fine establishments. The lazier ones, who always miss spots on my windshield and always forget to scent my car with cappuccino spray, all have one thing in common, they all love KFC, Churches Chicken or some other low end chicken fast food chain. Also, you will always see a KFC no matter how impoverished the community is. This tells me that only the ghetto blacks think a KFC is a fine dinning experience.

Spend your welfare money on hair weaves and grotesque fingernail Designs

I know you felt safe when we said before that non-ghettos live on welfare, but like everything, there are exceptions to the rules that you might fall guilty of. If your find yourself or you find your wife dabbling into the government bi-weekly funds to do up her hair in multi-colors weaves of fake hair or pays $200 on vomit like designs on her four inch finger nails, you might have a growing ghetto crisis forming in your home. It is a known fact that some black kids have starved to death due to their mother’s obsession with fake diamond encrusted nails surrounded by colors of neon and gold. Some women have even gone to stores to return baby food to get the extra cash for a new hair style.

Lack of proper English

It is not a secret that blacks have a vocabulary that lacks around 10,000 words compared to their white and lighter sin colored skinned global brothers. Also, it is a known fact that blacks get 4th rate educations in America, but this is not an excuse to use curse words and degrading name calling when conversing with one another. If you find yourself having to use vulgar words to have everyday conversations with your mother, wife, husband, children or grandparents, you are speaking in ghettonise and is a direct sign that you live in a ghetto world of profanity and 2nd grade communication skills. Another sign, is if you say words and leave the last letter out or change the last letter to an “A” or even add an “S” to the end of words that are not plural. Examples are “Wha?”, “Fo’ Sho'”, “Yea”, “Whatcha”, “Yo”, “Chickens”, “Fo’ Reals”, “Tru that!”. These are a vert few of the many ghetto stained English words and phrases.

73 thoughts on “You Might Be Ghetto If You're Black

  1. Albert Toppers

    Fantastic article as always, Pastor Tyson! It’s always great to see some data-driven investigative journalism (LOVE the pie chart!).

    Unfortunately, I’m sure L.N. and his band of miscreants will be here in short order. Without a doubt they’ll miss the whole point of the article and say something unbelievably racist.

      1. L.N

        That’s exactly what you do all the damn time, you brainless dolt. You can’t prove that anything you say is true so you have to use the support of your imaginary friends as well as the idiots who compliment you here in order to feel like you’re right.

      2. TheRavenlord

        when one needs their argument to stand tyson they find real evidence. of witch there is none in this article.

      3. Tom Riddle

        Christian website?? your writing articles that have nothing to do with God,your demeaning blacks you evil coon

      4. Katiefogkio

        what the fuck is wrong with you all? why the hell am i now “washing your car”? i black, non “ghetto”, and a honor roll student but half of these things happen to me…. you guys are arrogant, ignorant sons of a bitch that dont know what the fuck is wrong with you. JEASUS SAINT CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

      5. Joe

        I am blown away that anyone would let this guy talk to their children. I truly believe Tyson Bowers the III is the devil. The thought that he is a pastor sickens me. There is a special spot in hell for someone like you Tyson. And one more thing… Sex is great and and by abstaining from it you are denying a gift from god.. A special spot in hell Tyson, you racist anti human bastard!!!!!!

    1. L.N

      What, like the fact that you’re a racist son of a bitch? This is nothing more than lies and bullshit! Where’s the data that formed the graph, how is Tyson eligible to determine the difference between ‘ghetto black’ and ‘regular black’, how is he not racist for saying so much bullshit (he loves his sin skinned brothers? why are they sin skinned and how is that not a terrible thing to say), and why is it he uses nothing but stereotypes to describe black people?

      Tyson is a terrible person, and you’re even worse for supporting him alongside that pedophile Billings.

      1. Blanche Beecham


        Let’s review your low brow, ghetto argument here. First you make a point to call Tyson’s mom a female dog. How is that constructive or even relevant to the topic? What graphs and data do you have to support this?

        Second, you claim these are lies without even seeing the data! Tyson is quite the expert in melanin studies, yet you jump to your same sad, self pleasuring foul language.

        Third, you try to assassinate TB3’s character and try your best to drag Brother Billings into your web of crazy talk.

        I wish you could learn to communicate on a more reasoned level, but sadly the only response you can ever give me is the same sad request to get you sandwich. I understand not everyone can be the intellectual equivalent of TB3, Billings or August and sadly you need to be the anchor for the bell curve on these forums.

        Kind regards,

        1. L.N

          Bitch, get in the kitchen right now, and go cook up some food for tomorrow, and stop acting like you know anything about data or information. You’re a woman, so silence to you rib!

          1. Claire

            L.N., unfortunately Bitcham is one of those “do as I say, not as I do” people. She tells other women to get back in the kitchen yet doesn’t heed her own advice.

        2. Rose

          OOOOhhhh….. I found proof that she is a female dog. About as much proof as the article portrays….. [img][/img]

  2. Claire

    “Let me start off by saying I love my sin skinned brothers”

    We already know that you’re racist; must you keep providing evidence?

    “Spend your welfare money on hair weaves and grotesque fingernail Designs”

    Yet the picture you used depicted a WHITE hand.

    “Lack of proper English”

    You lack proper English as well, Boners. For example:

    “living a unhealthy”

    “find a babies daddy”

      1. Beth Rebello

        WTF does that mean??? I think YOU guys want to tap that awesome mocha bootie with your devil sticks. You guys are UNFUCKING believable.. Just sayin…

  3. erika

    There are a few things that I would like to point out:

    “Lack of proper English”

    No offense Tyson, you aren’t the king of proper English, as was mentioned before me.

    “Do you sell rocked crack coked cane to pay for your baby mother’s milk formula.”

    Okay, it’s “crack cocaine.” Yes, it can be sold in rock form. Not everyone does that.

    “If you eat KFC instead of Boston Market”

    What if someone prefers KFC over Boston Market?

    “To even get up before 11am for work is the number 1 reason why blacks will not develop skills to work a normal job”

    Maybe someone who doesn’t want to get up before 11 AM works nights and gets home at four or five in the morning.

    There is more that I could point out.

  4. Charles DeLacroix

    It’s about time someone had the guts to write an article this even handed on the problems facing the Afro-Saxon community. I have spent the majority of my years watching as my friends and relatives have fallen to the temptations of rocked crack cocaine. My own wife is beginning to show symptoms of ghetto-ness, I’m afraid that we may have no choice but to put her down for the sake of the children.

    1. Tyson Bowers III

      The problem may be easy to correct. Does she have “Chicken head” friends? If so, they could be the source of the problem.

    1. Return of the Troll King, The Jew

      I am seriously waiting for one of them to start shaving their beard and mustache like Hitler. I mean really. It sure sounds like they are talking that way anyway.

      1. Bruce Danus

        Hitler had nicely combed hair and a clean shaven face with the exception of his well manicured mustache. I believe that more people should follow his example. Then we would have well groomed people instead of these #OccupyWallStreet hippies of every race and creed running around smelling of marijuana and day old Satan seed.

          1. Bruce Danus

            How did you possibly get the idea that I was a Nazi? I simply pointed out that Hitler was well-groomed. I never said I believe in what he preached or that I support his actions in anyway. I simply said that the #OccupyWallStreet hippies could learn a lesson from his grooming. They need a razor, a haircut and a shower. All things that even Hitler did not deprive from the Jews, yet these hippies deprive themselves of these things everyday.

          2. Return of the Troll King, The Jew

            Hitler deprived the Jews of EVERYTHING. Shaved their heads, Refused to let them shower, put them in such squalid conditions that many dies of malnutrition and disease. Please don’t try to use something you know nothing about against the person that knows more about it than you do.

          3. Bruce Danus

            I have read plenty about the Nazi party and Hitler. You just admitted that he shaved them and gave them haircuts, and I know that I also read something about Jews getting to go to showers. I think you must be misinformed, sir.

          4. Return of the Troll King, The Jew

            Prissy, first off, please just stop. Just, stop trying. You are making a fool of yourself. I did not say he did it with their permission. I said that he had them shaved. Like made sure there was no body hair left on them. Male and female. Young, old, made no difference. He forced them to do hard labor against their wills. The “showers” you are talking about were not real showers. They were either delousing stations, or the gas chambers. The gas chambers were referred to as “the showers” so as to allay the fears of the people being herded into them like sheep to slaughter.

          5. Return of the Troll King, The Jew

            Nope. I don’t live in the city, However, if I did, I would probably join them in their protest.

          6. Bruce Danus

            L.N, I only dream of the day that I can match the Great Stephenson Billings in any form. He truly understand Humanity and I wish that I could be more like him, but I will just continue to grow in my faith and keep learning from his articles.

          7. Bruce Danus

            Damien the “Troll Jew”, I think you would only join in the protests, because you have yet to secure employment (as most of them have). I offered you help awhile ago, yet you turned me down. I honestly want to help anyone without a job to get one, and I know people all over the Country that are hiring, and most of these are actually fun jobs, not fast food or mail room jobs. If you weren’t so hateful to me in this comment thread, I might extend the offer again. Maybe an apology is in order here.

        1. Return of the Troll King, The Jew

          Prissy, I will not apologize for anything, since I have nothing to apologize for. I post only what is evident from previous posts. You, on the other hand, know not what you are saying, and therefore owe ME an apology for bringing up bad memories of the past.

          Also, I would join them b/c I agree with their standpoints. Additionally, Many of them have jobs, go to school, have families, but are trying to find a way to bring change to the world.

          1. Bruce Danus

            Is the bad memory of the past that you have no job? I apologize for bringing that up. Although, I believe I told you I was willing to help you get a job, so I don’t feel like I should apologize. I’m trying to help you, and you treat me like a Son of Ham. Your rude words hidden amongst Biblical references won’t won’t on me. I have a Ph.D in Theology from Northwest College in Kirkland, WA.

          2. Return of the Troll King, The Jew

            No, Prissy, I was talking about the Holocaust. You knew very well that that was what I was talking about.

            Additionally, you are aware that it is not called Northwest College anymore, right? It is now Northwest University. The don’t have a Doctorates Program of Theology there. They have a Master of Arts in Theology and Culture Graduates Program. So, all of your info has failed the verification process, meaning you fail.

          3. Return of the Troll King, The Jew

            Also, since you took this program, you obviously know Hebrew, so I will be writing to you completely in Hebrew from now on.

          4. Claire

            Bruce, we all know that you didn’t go to college. You’re a DJ, are you not? Please provide proof that you attended this “fly by night” school.

  5. Yeah I said it!

    If it weren’t for Africans you would not even be human, you would still be neanderthals. If your heritage is non-African, you are part neanderthal,according to a new study in the July issue of Molecular Biology and Evolution. Studys have found that the human X chromosome that originates
    from Neanderthals (who evolved from monkeys) are only found in people of non-African heritage. This confirms recent findings suggesting that the two populations interbred. Whitening of the skin, through allelic changes at the AIM1 gene, began around11,000 years ago. Yes, you are white because of a genetic flaw. Some of those genetic flaws are why there is such a high rate of autisim, down syndrome and mental retardation in your race/species. When is the last time you saw a retarded African? These are facts not opinions. If you don’t believe me Google it. I am smart enough to know that statments like the ones above are usually made out of envy and jelousy. Everyone has a right to his/her own opinion, but writing stupid child-like things like this isn’t going to change history. Africans will still be the first man to walk the face of the earth, and you (the neanderthal) will always be the last, and most evil creature to walk this earth. Jesus was the son of God, not a product of evolution. As far as I am concerned, white people are one of mothernature’s experiments. I have to admit this article was very funny and entertaining, too silly to be offended by this.[img][/img]

  6. Heather

    Wow..this has to be one of the most racist websites I have ever seen. You are not christian. The cross is a pagan symbol. Hell will be a little bit hotter for you, my friend!

  7. LOLThisCantBeReal

    hahahaha Found this website today. This shit cannot be real. There are a few things you guys need to know.

    1. Your god isn’t real.
    2. Your god isn’t real.
    3. If Jesus were alive today we would all realize what he really is: a delusional, schizophrenic, mentally handicapped man with an imaginary friend.
    4. If any of you had better than a high school level science education or common sense you’d know what I’m talking about.
    5. You are much more abhorrent, immoral people then us atheists, but you think its justified because of religion.
    6. Faith is just a fancy word people use to make their arguments not subject to criticism and not require proof.
    7. Religion is a scam to comfort old people who haven’t contributed anything to society and are afraid of death.
    8. Life is a very brief and you are pissing it away worshipping a bearded man in the sky, ignoring the beautiful truth of science, and not having any fucking fun for fear of going to hell.
    9. You guys are all really, really, really, really fucking stupid.
    10. Oh, and by the way, lol, your god isn’t real.

    1. Amadaeus Spatchcock

      Why do you attack them and their beliefs? We live in America where everyone have a right to an opinion. By the way, is life sad as an atheist? It seems that way.

      1. Nandaarya

        Life is what it is as an atheist. It’s just one less bullshit story in our lives to help us fuck things up than our human selves already will.

      1. Return of the Troll King, The Jew

        Also a Jew. And from the Middle East. You know, where the Arabs are. He even looked like them. So……ye.

  8. Amadaeus Spatchcock

    Ah, a great article as always! I think it’s safe to say that I’ve been greatly educated on this matter. I thank you.

  9. Nandaarya

    What is this I don’t even.
    This HAS to be a joke.
    Well, it is. Christianity is obviously a joke.
    You racist assholes.

  10. Tom Riddle

    Ghetto is a place not a group of people what type of article…why was this made what fucking point you fucking prick like really….your way smarter than this why did you make this article it has no point..just to speak about blacks

  11. MVG

    This article is the biggest load of shit I’ve read since Mein Kampf.

    Its a brick of ignorance wrapped in stereotypes wrapped in utter stupidity. You find yourself to be so pure and holy because you are “speaking in the name of Christ” but really you are nothing but a slug. You are a racist prick who refuses to see anything other than your own fatuous beliefs. All of your so called “evidence” is inconclusive and absurd.

    Coming from the large and diverse city of Chicago I have first hand experience to prove that this article is incorrect and completely senseless and idiotic.

    Oh, and when you posted “Do you sell rocked crack coked cane to pay for your baby mother’s milk formula.” That is a something you should not even mess with. That is one man’s daily hardship to be able to provide for his family and loved ones. I’ve seen it happen, I’ve had stories. People do what they must to live on and survive, especially in this economy. There are practically no jobs even for the middle class of the United States. Plus, its not just the Black society that do such a thing which you are trying to convey in your piece of fucking crap article, my best friend has to do the same thing to afford a place to live for he and his children, he has a low paying job but that can’t get a human and two offspring by in this country.

    Over all, You’re an asshole and I hope you burn in hell.

    P.S. after reading the Author’s Note let me just say that THE THEORY OF EVOLUTION HAS NOTHING TO DISPROVE IT WHAT SO EVER SO FAR. Study the TRUE facts, Bitch.
    Suck It.

  12. killa cumming

    6I think this article is splendid mainly because 6Tyson6 Bowers6 I will see you in Hell with the rest of the Klan, Aryan6 Brotherhood, and wana be white devils, I am the real White Devil, 6Satan, Beezlebub, 6kthulu, Diablo Blanco6, and any other name your pathetic imagination will create to please me, you understand that Hell is here on earth in the minds of insulent men such as yourself Bowers6, I look foward to spreading this message all through the impressionable frightened souls of your followers666 can you hear me laughing

  13. smkdkron

    I agree with most of this.proper people like KFC but hardly ever. I think you said there are exceptions to some things.


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