I had the rare opportunity to sit down with Herman “Pizza Man” Cain last night and had a nice one on one conversation over the internet band width chat program “Sky-pe”. I knew I had limited time talking to the future GOP candidate, so I wanted to get down to business and ask him the questions that all Christian America wanted answered.
Mr. Cain, first of all thank you so much for taking your time away from making pizzas and traveling the world promoting freedom. I would like to start off with asking you your feelings on the anti-American protesters who are illegally occupying Wall Street.
“I be telling ya’ll, dis Wall Street biznit, is all a bucket full of white and whinny little rich kids!” – Herman “Pizza Man” Cain
Do you find it odd that these rebels against freedom use capitalist technology to spread their limp wristed movement?
“I does believe yous can’t be on your digital textie machines, while being a crazy protester against dah lovely c to the a.p.i.t.a.l.i.s.m.” – Herman “Pizza Man” Cain
What will Herman Cain do for America? and what has he done already?
“Listen here now brotha, I be Herman Cain. I write books. I 999 all up in your biznit and I promise to put the CAN in American.” – Herman “Pizza Man” Cain
As a black man, what do you have to say to the racist left wing?
“I’m here to save the GOP baby. I’m Superman and those libs be all up acting like Lex Luthor” – Herman “Pizza Man” Cain
What is your feeling on homosexuals?
“Herman Cain is here not here to tell the little sissys of the world to stop living in dah devil’s garden, but I do be here to say, that they needs to stop doing up all their nasty sex biznit in front of ours childrens. It nasty. Nasty nasty. “ – Herman “Pizza Man” Cain
What the occupy Wall Street whiners think about Herman Cain.
“He be all like “Ahhh” and I be all like “Rawr”.”
“I just Tweeted on my iPhone that I don’t like capitalism and Herman Cain.”
“He only got famous because he is super black.”
If you can’t even count to ‘3’, I highly doubt anyone of any kind of importance would want to talk to you.
America is full of whiny little rich kids. Get over it.
These protesters calling Cain ‘super black’ are just being silly. He doesn’t meet the black test. I’d say he somewhere between Wesley Snipes and Denzel Washington. You have to be blacker than Wesley to earn the title ‘super black’ and truly support tax change.
What other kind of rich kids are there besides whiny and white (I’m assuming you don’t mean they make horse noises)
Can you aks him can he trace his ancestory back to Cain in the Bibble, the one who kill Abel. Thank you.
He does look blacker than Obama. Why did all the Godfather Pizzas in my region go out of business?
I think they shut some down and put that money into his campaign.
I won,t comment because if he was a “real candidate” he won’t use those term like Brotha or gangsta or whatsover
I’m not a supporter of Herman Cain. I’ve heard him speak numerous times. Herman does not talk like that. The writer is a bigot for implying that Herman speaks in this manner. It make wonder if the writer really had a conversation with Mr. Cain.
Herman Cain does speak like that. He’s started using something the teenagers in our congregation call automobile tuner. It changes the character of the voice to anything you want.
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