Christwire Q&A

We thought it would be a super great idea to allow our readers to ask us some questions in hopes to bring them closer to God. Of course, like all things, there were some bad apples who asked some atheistic and liberal questions. They were ignored.

Why does Satan always want anal sex?
Satan wants males to crave the act of sin docking in hopes to corrupt and control their souls. This is why Gays are deemed unholy and living, breath devil children. Performing anal sex is a fast ticket to Hellville.

Who is your favourite musician?
Amy Grant. Here voice is of the angels and you can hear her music being played at most of our teen dance events.

Can God make hott vampires exist? Also, where can I get the best croissant in town?
God can create anything he wishes. I doubt he would make a vampire, as they are demonic figures. For your second question, I goto Billy’s Best Bagels on 3rd.

Will there be goldfish crackers in heaven?
The soul does not require food in Heaven. So no, there will be no crackers in heaven.

Where do baby angels come from?
Angels are not born like humans. They are created as full grown warriors.

If you have more questions you can email us at our Holy Mail Box or send us a Tweeter or Facebook Posting.

10 thoughts on “Christwire Q&A

  1. Blanche Beecham

    I recently learned while teaching Sunday school to kindergartners that there is no need for saying grace in heaven, because you’re dead.

  2. Tyson Bowers IIIAdam Nelson Post author

    Amy Grant is really good. I’m also a fan of Big Daddy Weave. Pastor Jack recommended him in a music review and he is talented. At his last show he actually played the drumset and gave away the sticks he used and they were autographed.

  3. billmurray'spaganchinesegaycat

    i got some Q & As.
    Q: is this site actually a joke, created by ironic hipsters who are now chuckling into their mocha grande latte watching all the trolls?
    A: yes.

    Q: are all the site regular contributors (billings, abe, BLESSED people? why?
    A: yes, because they brought so much joy and laughter into the lives of millions. of course the joy is one’s own schadenfreude that these ideas are actually garnering genuine bigoted response, therefore smoking all the bigots out of the BUSH.
    additionally, the laughters are mostly of the jeering, derisive kind where no one actually takes anything written here seriously.

    oh, and billings, bill murray says hi.

  4. Tyson Bowers IIIStephenson Billings Post author

    Here’s mine old buddy!

    Q: Do you think Obama will run again in 2012?

    Q: Who is your favorite movie actor?

    Q: In tennis, when a ball lands on the service line on a serve and you call it out, is that a grievous sin even though you’re already beating your opponent 5-0?

    Q: Why isn’t the “c” in Christwire’s logo capitalized?

  5. Tyson Bowers IIITyson Bowers III Post author

    Q: Do you think Obama will run again in 2012?
    Of course he will. The left’s holy man servant has too much of an ego not be in the spotlight.

    Q: Who is your favorite movie actor?
    Oh wow! Still have to support Mr. madmax himself.!

    Q: In tennis, when a ball lands on the service line on a serve and you call it out, is that a grievous sin even though you’re already beating your opponent 5-0?
    Ha! You heard about mine and Miller’s game huh?

    Q: Why isn’t the “c” in Christwire’s logo capitalized?
    Because we wanted the cross to stand out more and to be the centerpiece. The cross is more of a symbol of Christ, than a capital “C”.

    1. Tyson Bowers IIIStephenson Billings Post author

      I’ve heard some liberals say that Obama has lost credibility in their movement and they’re hoping Hillary Clinton runs in 2012… It should be an interesting decision, but I agree this man is not quick to step out of the spotlight. Nor is that wife of his.

      I like Mel, but I’ve always been more of a Heston man myself. Something about his raw masculinity has always inspired me. And he was a great advocate of the 2nd Amendment.

      Yes, I did hear about that game! He says your eyes are going bad. “Laughing Out Loud!”

      Thanks for answering that question about the logo. It’s always puzzled me!

      1. Millennium

        actually he just gave a Try as presidential if he would Lose he would not bash on the winner

        for favourite actor actress I have a found of asian actress mostly but for actor hmm quite hard Maybe stathem

        in Tennis if it’s touch the Line ( completely ?? that an incomplete quetsion ) it,s actually depend of which side of the Line the balls fall

        and no it’s not a Sin

        well this one I gave it to Boner

  6. MeAwesome

    Wow, I never thought we would have this opportunity. I’m practically shaking. It’s like the time I saw Amy grants bus drive by. I could ask so many questions, but I’ll limit myself to four..
    Q1 So many people achieve the fellowship numbers this site has have sold out, taken movie or T.V deals, sold t-shirts or books. What is your secret to avid greed and fame?
    Q2 what has the high and low points of Christwire?
    Q3 Does Christwire have a favorite verse?
    Qfour Has Christwire ever thought about starting its own T.V channel?

    So much more I could ask, but I promised four.


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