Two forces have come together to take their sexual lifestyle’s to a whole new level. One side likes inserting their satan scepters into other men’s sewer holes and the other likes to brainwash young white youth with 8-bit music and turn your lady home makers into “ho” makers. The two have combined forces to virtual sneak into your house and violate your American wife while you are hard at work trying to get by while Obama steals you health care plan.
I present to you the WiiRape toy by Nintendo! Now I know you’re asking yourself “Mr. Bowers, why would these two groups need to join forces to create this? I know the African American community is not fond of gays.” well I have a easy answer. The Afro-Saxon community is not very good at building electronics or handling money, so they asked the homo gay agenda to develop the product for them. Also, gays have a lot of money saved up because they work as bar tenders or florists and collect gay welfare at the same time. In return, the Afro-Saxon’s would make sure that each item that is sold, would come with a list of children in the buyers neighborhood. Now what Ellen marriage believer wouldn’t want that? A whole list of fresh meat to pray on?
So now that this product is in “A Store Near You!” Rappers can use the hipped hopped music they play on Bravo or TLC to brainwash your wifes and tell them to goto the nearest Circuit City and purchase the new Wii “Toy” with of course your hard earned cash. The item comes with a free game disgusted as a Opera CD, so that for sure a real male would never bother checking it out. What it really is, is a dating game that displays images of large black twiddle rompus’. Your wife can browse through categories like “Balla”, “Big Playa”, “Deez Nutz” and other hipped hopped lyrical terms. Once she picks what type she wishes to “play” with a video screen appears where your wife can be swindled by satan like sexy speak. Once your wife has been put into a trance, she will be asked to plug in the new Wiimote and on the other end the predator will be able to control the speed and has electric tips so the womens fish cave can be shocked. I think this is what is refereed to as “The Shocker.”
Now, you may ask “Where is little Billy, while mom is playing sin games?” Well, he is alone and looking for attention, which is what a homopedo predator looks for in a victim, before he plays twinkie stick rape games.
Nintendo should be ashamed for such vile inventions. What is next? The Lesbian Lick controller? or the Rainbow Butt Heckler attachment? I say we call for a recall on all Nintendo products before your wife and children are victims of hate crimes. Oh and guess who is a backer and fan of this product?
Well isn’t that a surprise?
It’s official; if there was any doubt before, there’s none now. Tyson is a full-fledged Poe. No sane person would EVER believe ANY single word that was said right here. Hell, even INSANE people wouldn’t believe this nonsense.
Good game sir, good game.
AND u call yourself a comedian!! good day sir!
What can I say? these people have bested me for laughs. I admit my defeat in being the funnier man.
All I see is a picture with no source link. Mr. Boners, you FAIL.
I know (or atleast believe) this is a parody site but I just had to point out that the shocker is where someone is fingering a girl and they stick their pinky in her ass
It’s gotta be a parody website…. Well, maybe. The folks at the Westboro Baptist Church are worse than these folks and they’re for real.
The afro saxon … did I miss a part or they didnt have any “afro saxon”
sinc ethe saxon were mostly white (no racism here just history fact)
as for Tyson Boner well he is just another failure in society
and the other likes to brainwash young white youth (racism)
and seriously Boner you sure know a lot about pedophilia and Homosexual Did you practice or what
so what is this supposed to be really cause i looked up wii atachments and i could find where he got this from which makes me think its just a joke pic.
Knowing this site it probably is
I’m pretty sure its an Hoax too
OK, guys, it’s a spoof. See:
It is trying to be as outrageous as some of the real ‘christian’ sites. But it fails miserably, IMHO.
alright, so obviously this is a troll-site. i don’t appreciate the way it’s making christians sound like wacko lunatics. we are not this stupid, and this website is like a way of condemning us because of these LIES to our beliefs!! i’m offended. we are not all racists, homophobes, and lie-our-ass-off to piss people off people. yes, unfortunately there are extremists, but this articles is too much.
Shut up Lily and hold these rattlesnakes for me!
Lily, it’s the loony left liberals and fanatical athiests who look like idiots on this site, not Christians. Given the slightest prod, they engage in invective that would make Fred Phelps blush.
A swing and a miss, David.
david, did you forget to add your brain supplements to your daily routine this morning? me thinks thou doth protest too much!
but lily, this site didnt make christians sound like wacky lunatics
christians did that all on their lonesome.
can you name one single national christian leader who hasnt acted like a moron qnd nucking futs?
let me help you out a little:
pat robertson – nuff said
franklin graham – thinks all islam is of the devil – wow thats not crazy! lmao
mike huckabee – thinks gay sex is worse than raping baby animals
glenn beck – do i need to highlight anything the moron (i mean morman) says?
hagee – thinks if we can just get someone to blow up isreal the world will come to an enrd and is activly helping do so
ralph reed – lmao
do i need to go on?
is there a sane christian leader? dont say rick warren – he hasnt exactly handled himself with pragmatism and decorum has he?
well. now its your turn to name one, any one, but even just one, single sane national christian leader.
we’ll be waiting.
i think if this website is poking fun at anyone… its people who take themsevles too seriously. the crazy christians take alot of the battering.. the stupid ass responses that some people give like these’ liberals spoken about by dave… xD but i think what really makes it all worth it is those comments where people agrreeee ^_^
If theres gay welfare there must be fat kid welfare too which makes me PISSED cuz nobody told me about it.
Get it cuz it doesn’t FUCKING EXIST TISON YOU STUPID MONKEY CUNT
Gays Invent New Wii Sex Toy, So Blacks Can Have Virtual Sex With White Women
Just the Title is LAUGHABLE
GAYS definition :
1. Being Happy or having happiness
2. someone atracted to the same gender ( man attracted to man or woman to woman )
So I guess here we talk about definition 2
second part of the title BLACK HAVING SEX WITH WHITE WOMEN where it’s the Gay thing in that when actually it’s STRAIGHT sex ?
We call that INTERRACIAL SEX and it’s LEGAL ( homosexuality too By the way )
assuming it’s Black MAN having sex with a WHITE woman
This really makes my day. Don’t know which is funnier, the blatantly obvious satire or the disciples of Poe’s Law. I know for a fact that there are plenty of educated, tolerant and decent U.S.Americans, but sites like this attract enough idiots who believe every outrageous claim that it’s just double the fun. I’m from Europe and I look at the state of education and general knowledge here and I find reason for despair, I look at the U.S. and things over here don’t seem so bad anymore. Every empire runs out its course, right? Apparently, tea party members, homophobes, and fundamentalist christians will be your downfall. I just hope the latter will realize that there’s no such thing. Taking the bible literally is basing your beliefs on a translation, with all the mistakes in connotation and meaning that are made in a translation. And the source texts have been edited, some left out, so EVEN if at some point it was the word of God, after several translations (Hebrew ->Greek->Latin->German, English etc.)it isn’t anymore.
What’s more revealing is that there are lefties on here that actually think this is normal discourse for Christians and Right wingers. It turns out scapegoating, intolerance, and generalizations aren’t limited to the right wing after all…
it’s not a fail, and it does work as satire – and here is why:
can you name a single Christian denomination that hasn’t come out against gay lifestyles and interracial marriage in the modern era (post 1945)
and of course the answer is no
unless you consider the unitarian universalist church who have stuck up for decent human rights, but then, most, and by most i mean 99% of other Christians dont believe the u/u is a valid sect, or don’t know they exist.
but to say that Christians dont act like this – then answer this question – if the southern baptist convention is the largest Christian sect in the united states, and they refuse to allow women equal rights to serve, or equal placement in the family per work/finances and are not required to subjugate themselves to their husbands, how can you with a straight face claim Christians in america have a handle on social issues?
ummm, actually, I know of SEVERAL lutheran denominations that tolerate gay relationships, and at least one that accepts gay marriage due to the fact that:
1. The controversial passage about a man not lying with another man was written in the old testament
2. Jesus is quoted in the new testament blatantly saying “By the way, screw the old testament, it’s mostly BS.”
poe’s and godwin’s law!!!
and if we push it far enough we might even force them to jump out the overton window.
what isnt funny though is that so many Christian news agencies actually repost christwire articles as if they werent making fun of those exact people.
oh the irony!!!
but at least we can be schadenfrued
is anyone really surprised by this after tiger & oj??
tiger and oj? i love some frosted cornflakes and juice for breakfast.
but what does tiger and oj have to do with it?
what about gingrich and david vitter,
oh wait i forgot they dont help prove your point cuz they are lilly white.
it still should be shouted from the roooftops that david vitter likes to be molested while wearing diapers.
but to each its own right?
would you please show any kind of proof of your stupid new idea that there should be a gay welfare? also what are you complaioning seeing as you get your christian welfare? isn’t it fair then?
What you white Christians need is a Wii virtual whip, to keep those Afro-Saxons in their place. As for gay welfare, there is no gay who isn’t willing to give his fellow gay man a job, so they don’t need welfare.
So this is a typical article on “the leading Internet site for ultraconservative Christian news, commentary and weather reportage”. Excellent stuff.
We need to petition Jacob Lew and ask him exactly where he gets off by supporting the AfroSaxon agend and why my hardearnd taXes are subsidisng this sort of filth – gay welfare make me sick!!
‘The elect cannot be decieved’
uhh….all you commenters DO realize this site is satirical, right? I mean, if it were real it would still be funny, albeit also TERRIFYING. I know there are people who actually DO think this way, but this site is just making fun of said morons.
So read, and enjoy! Don’t get your (gay liberal) panties in a bunch…LOL 😉
Repent oh sinners and let the FSM enfold you in his noodley appendages!
is this website a joke?
As one who suffers with the heartbreak of revitiligo (opposite of what Michael Jackson had) I have known that gays and blacks have colluded since slavery! Log onto GGA100.weebly.com and watch the Savedest man in the history of the Republican party, the Right Reverend Dr. Thurgood Goodlove weigh in on celebrity relationships, regular relationships, 3somes, polygamy, same sex relationships, and all manner of vile and disgusting relations without the blessing of marriage.
This article by itself showed me how many fucked up people there are in this world. It makes me sad… Tyson, I pray to GOD that im not praying to your god.
Face it, nobody likes niggers. It might make you feel morally superior to hang out with them (until you get mugged, raped or murdered). Even the black people I work with hate niggers. They suck.
I think you have a couple things wrong. There are many people that like the company of black men….and actually its White girls and they also suck…very well actually. I think they may have invented the art of bratwurst swallowing. Take a crap in your hands and clap.[img][/img]
i think you mistake the fact that nobody likes you.
Knowledge — its the antibiotic that cures religion. Theres no way you nutcases believe anything you say,, and if there is you need to spend a few months in a straightjacket. If i went around telling people I believed in fairy tales about zombie vampires named JC they would have me sedated in no time. But manipulate the words and threaten to kill and torture everyone who doesnt beleive and youve got a religion
dont underestimate a zealots ability to believe the most dubious of information.
have you been to the creation museum in texas?
cry as you might that they dont “Actually believe it”
i think they do!
and that makes it even more sad.
Does anyone else see this incredibly ill executed photoshop? Their license should be revoked!
quick call the photoshop police
haha… wait a second. I honestly thought this site was real until I read this. that’s how crazy right wing christian nutters are. they are difficult to satirize because they are already so crazy.
Everybody says there is this RACE problem. Everybody says this RACE problem will be solved when the third world pours into EVERY white country and ONLY into white countries.
The Netherlands and Belgium are more crowded than Japan or Taiwan, but nobody says Japan or Taiwan will solve this RACE problem by bringing in millions of third worlders and quote assimilating unquote with them.
Everybody says the final solution to this RACE problem is for EVERY white country and ONLY white countries to “assimilate,” i.e., intermarry, with all those non-whites.
What if I said there was this RACE problem and this RACE problem would be solved only if hundreds of millions of non-blacks were brought into EVERY black country and ONLY into black countries?
How long would it take anyone to realize I’m not talking about a RACE problem. I am talking about the final solution to the BLACK problem?
And how long would it take any sane black man to notice this and what kind of psycho black man wouldn’t object to this?
But if I tell that obvious truth about the ongoing program of genocide against my race, the white race, Liberals and respectable conservatives agree that I am a naziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews.
They say they are anti-racist. What they are is anti-white.
Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white.
you sir win the academy award for excellence in idioglossia.
brilliant work there smart-e
lol, let me say this is the best shit i have read in a week speaking as a gay man in the middle east it doesn’t get any better than this of course until the local paper actually tries to write something serious about homo’s.
i don’t think stephen colbert could do much better. but hey i am sure he would love to give it a crack. this website is awesome, almost as good as the onion but far more believable.
keep the serious comments coming ya fuckin’ morons i can’t wait to get may hands on of these wii’s so i can trick black men into slippin me the tube steak right up my sin hole.
really, greatly appreciated and quite a riot
Brother cory, as one who has sinned and repenteth let me be the first to let you know you can be cured of the ‘gayness’your sinhole can be free of black tube steak if ye embraceth the Lord.. TRUE STORY!..
‘Freely you have received, freely give.’
– Matthew 10:8
again, while the sex toy thing from the Wii remote is actually true, your story, as nearly all of the stories on this site, has some holes in it. Holes that IMO, need filled. with proper information, that is. The first image you posted, after doing a bit of research, reveals yes, there is an accessory for the wii remote that is designed to be used as a sexual stimulator. however. Nintendo has nothing to do with it, just like Logitech would have nothing to do with it if i used one of their products as a projectile. The image you show is for use with a program called Mojowijo, which has been identified by at least two news sources, according to their website, One of which being the article it links to in the San Francisco Weekly. MojoWijo is third party software, and, upon attachment of the accessory to your wiimote, it interfaces not with the Wii console system, but with a bluetooth enabled PC. at this point, it seems to be set to release in the fall, and is currently still in the Beta testing stage.
Incidentally, Opera Software is a separate company from Nintendo, which is in collaboration with them to produce their Nintendo DS browser, which is a version of Opera’s web browser. as well as the Wii’s Internet Channel.
I also mention, as no said opera disguised cd is included in said software package, and as it is doubtful you managed to get yourself signed up as a beta tester( as for one, you likely wouldn’t even consider such a thing), considering your lies/so obviously fabricated information, I propose that you actually learn something about a subject before posting an article about, so as not to appear a complete idiot when someone with a crappy internet connection and 30 seconds of research time is able to poke holes in your little story.
Quick point by point.
“I present to you the WiiRape toy by Nintendo!”
1. This product is completely unaffiliated with Nintendo. Nintendo did not program the software, not is it producing the accessory.
“So now that this product is in “A Store Near You!”
2. This product is in a beta testing stage, so is not availble forpurchase to the general public.
“The item comes with a free game disgusted as a Opera CD,”
3. Opera is a software company that produces the webbrowser built in to Nintendo’s console and handheld systems. There is no Opera CD associated with this accessory.
” Your wife can browse through categories like “Balla”, “Big Playa”, “Deez Nutz” and other hipped hopped lyrical terms.”
4. Unless you engaged the software personally, you wouldn’t know this, and as you didn’t know this was third party party software, unassociated with Nintendo, I’m just going to have to assume you just made this up.
“and has electric tips so the womens fish cave can be shocked”
5. Metal is required to conduct electricity efficiently. the area of the female oriented toy visible in the picture has none on it, so no shocking.
P.S. the possessive for of woman, is “woman’s”, not womens.
My post is getting to long for me, and I’ve already spent more time writing this than i had intended. I’ll let everyone else pick out all the rest.
*side note* it’s 2 am, yes, I’m aware my grammar and spelling can suck, but i’m hardly supposed to be a professional.
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Come on Tyson Bowers III, stop foolin. you know you want one.
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Proof-read your articles, my friend! This article looks like it’s been written by a filthy philistine mocking us good-souled Canaanites! Have Faith!
I have since confiscated my wife’s “innocent” toys (made by the destroyers of Pearl Harbor, might I add) and rigorously test their propensity for evil on myself on a daily basis – they are true weapons of Satan and have shown me the sins of not only Sodom, but also Gomorrah!
As such, I think it is only Holy that I keep these tools of Satan and can only hope that my personal passion and agony will help the rest of you wicked sinners!
“What is next? The Lesbian Lick controller?”
OMG I could only wish this were real.