Is Burning Man to Blame for the Increase in American Teen STD Cases?

Did you know there is a place in Las Vegas you can go to and burn Bibles while making sex sessions with random women dressed up like the Easter Bunny and little bubble bees? Has anyone told you that you can be apart of a week long journey of hazy drug male sin docking, with married men? Anyone ever tell you about a group of meth laced lollipop lickers, dancing to Satanic drum beats, while semen demons and devil whores dance in sexual gyrations? Have you ever heard of stories about a fiery idol being burned to celebrate deviancy against God? If so, you most likely are hearing the horrid tales of a festival called “Burning Man”, which is a annually held music festival to celebrate everything anti-American and anti-morals.

What is Burning Man?
Burning Man is an annual, week long drug slinger festival sponsored by Hot Topic, that is held in the Blackhole Desert in the northern part of Las Vegas. Burning Man is a week long festival of book burning, anti-God worship and baby eating babble that only Satan himself would be able to fondle himself over.

At each party, the party goers are encouraged to create their own false idols which they will later on burn and dance around as they joyfully sin in hopes to arouse Satan in a erotic fantasy of orgasms.

Who Goes to Burning Man?
Besides the copious amounts of fecal flinging, sex addicted homosexuals, the clown dressed midgets and bath salt sniffing hippies, you can see a wide variety of God hating sinners. Burning man usually consists of around 122,500 to 182,805 people looking to reenact scenes that would make a Roman bath house look like the softest form of downloadable .avi porn on the internet.

The whore women are asked to weird the most outlandish outfits and to make sure that woman have their milk sacks exposed or to at least have moist camel hump noticeable in the tight shorts. It is very common to see women in Old Navy hot pants, Hot Topic fish nets and cut up Dirty Shirty bosom tops with words like “My Dad Says I’m Cute” or “I Always Get Backstage” smeared across them. Men are told to dress up like something you would see out of a nightmarish San Fransisco leather parade and that you can show bare chest only if you have a sculptured solid body.

Pretty much if you asked a gps to look for a group of ugly people who play with necromantic black magic and love to partake in a oily interracial sex orgy, it would point you right to this desert festival of gluttonous fornication.

What Goes on at Burning Man?
What the immature amounts of female nudity and exposed male sin snakes isn’t enough? Or how about the naked tug of war games or the false idol constructions? Or to top it off, how about large amounts of gay men tip toeing in the desert, hammering out male on male mouth sex acts, while hippies cheer them on and take photos to upload to their Twitter accounts.

Have you every heard of a “STD Party”? If not, a STD Party is were groups of disease infested party goers, like our Burning Man friends here and they sign up on a list stating which STD they have. Once on the list, they are able to look at others on the list and see which type of STD they want to swap. Once they pick out their fancy, they met up in a what they call “Caring Tent” and partake in a sandy act of sexual transfusion and Satanic pleasures.

Parties like these are what caused the black plague in England. Unmoral, non-God loving drunks would have multiple sex insertion sessions with unwashed privates parts from multiple people and would spread sickness across the lands. If we don’t stop this, America will be facing the same low t-cell count destiny.

If the STD parties don’t tickle your penile or baby hole fancy, you can always join in on the animal sacrifices or take a demonic journey in the acid trip sweat rooms.

Dancing to “drummed and based” music is also a very popular event. So if you’re a maniac for dancing under the Devil’s desert disco ball, you will have a place to call home.

So if you want to ride first class on hell’s 747 or have your body riddled with illnesses, hop in your car and drink from the devil’s pleasure cup. If you want to be bless with eternal life then band with us and say no to this false paradise of gang banging hussies and phallic exposing maestros.

620 thoughts on “Is Burning Man to Blame for the Increase in American Teen STD Cases?

      1. Rev. Custer

        AIDS did indeed come from Africa, as we have discovered in our Biblical Science Institute 5 years ago.

        It started with the colored savages performing anal and oral sex with great apes, leading to the cross-combination of human and ape viruses, creating the deadly AIDS virus.

        The infected monkey-raping homosexual Africans then spread AIDS to America at around the same time they spread gay culture to San Francisco. See the connection?

        1. L.N

          You’re just making shit up now. The people in Africa came to America and ended up gaying up the place? Really? That’s your reason?

          How much coke DO you snort? Or do you just bash your head against the rocks for a high?

        2. luke

          This article is hilarious. It has no correct facts in there. The language and the way its used in this article is abusive and manipulative. Geared toward making people who are uniformed or vaguely informed, think a certain way. This festival is not for the conservative christian. This festival is for only certain God warriors. I know of a Christian camp here and they are very friendly and understanding. They spread the Gospel in a “dark” place and thats not for every God lover. We are told to stand against but times call for forward progression as well.
          BUT when I read this at first I laughed at its misguided words. I thought for sure it was a burner just being funny but i looked up and no… its on a real website. I feel its too bad its on a Christian website cuz “christians” have a tuff time making it in the first place, no need to make us seem more ignorant. But its ok cuz things work out thanks to God.

          God bless you all

          1. Tiffany

            I agree. They need to get their facts straight before publishing such a disgusting article. This will be my 5th year going to Burning Man and I have NEVER seen any of what this article is describing!!

          2. Erin

            wow you guys are bible thumping idiots. First off get your facts straight burning man only has about 50,000 plus people attend. And wow really your trying to scare people from coming by telling them there are STD swapping tents…..go there….i never once saw anything like that. But maybe dont because jesus will see you and send you to hell. Like jesus and hell exist you losers. What a waste of human, lying flesh you are….preach your lies and try and scare people. you will go to “hell” for making up such nonsense. I am actually so angry at you retards…..i hope you spontaneously combust!

          3. kitt

            From the writing, it clearly seems to be parody. Either that or it dangerously tap-dances on the line of erotica (I can just see all the child abusing and sex-scandal, porn consuming Christians getting off on this). This rag is like The Onion of Christian websites.

            (And does anybody in the world really believe that Hot Topic sponsors Burning Man? I was in tears from laughing!)

          4. Charlotte

            Hi guys,

            I’ve just read this and feel like this writer and the entire staff of this site should be invited to the Burn next year. Maybe it will help with the demons they clearly have regarding self and sexual expression. None of the things stated in this article have ever happened in front of me at Burning Man and I get about quite a bit!

            Good luck to you all, love and peace. x

          5. Hue

            “This will be my 5th year going to Burning Man and I have NEVER seen any of what this article is describing!!”

            @Tiffany- You must be going to all the wrong camps 😉

          6. Serginho

            Tiffany, you didn’t see anything maybe because you are blind. Metaphorically speaking.

          7. Gina

            I agree this article is wildly hilarious and so completely crazy misinformed!

            I liked it so much that I am going use some quotes! “copious amounts of fecal flinging, sex addicted homosexuals, clown dressed midgets and bath salt sniffing hippies, …a wide variety of God hating sinners”


          8. Promethia of the Playa

            OMG…. This is the most ignorant and yet funny thing I have read about Burning Man, and sooooo misinformed. Only around 50,000 people attend, it is not in Las Vegas, but the Northern part of Nevada close to Reno, plus animals aren’t even allowed on the playa, so how could there be any sacrificing. This is a festival of art, and so much more. This obsessed, misinformed, heretic is just talking out of his ass, and it is people like him that give that are the problem in this world. I send him blessings of enlightenment, and laugh at his sickness….. You should really know what you are talking about before you open your mouth and look so foolish.

          1. Kevin Schmidt

            There can be no such thing as a “Biblical Science Institute”.

            Science is the study of the physical world only.

            The Bible is based purely on faith alone. There is nothing scientific about it!

          2. Molly

            This is ridiculous.
            Can you imagine these things happening at burning man?
            maybe you should have gone, so you’d actually know what goes on there. too bad youre too scared.

        3. bob

          a reverend …? arent you suppose to have knowledge about these matters…u just sound like an ordinary ignorant yank…get your facts straight buddy…

        4. evan

          These are just kids partying and there is nothing satanic about it. The burn of the wooden man is just a big display with fireworks, not a tribute to satan. If that is satan worship then you’d have to say the fourth of july is satanic worship too. You guys are using completely misleading words and making it sound like something different than it is. It doesn’t have anything to do with satan worship, and people dont eat babies. A lot of people there are more spiritual than most of you phony, propaganda spilling, hipocritical, hate spewing ass holes. Why do christians continue to scare so many people into believing. You say god loves everyone, but he will send you to hell if you dont believe, even though he knows everything that’ll happen. That’s not love, and thats not the god that i know. You guys crack me up

          1. evan

            and i have nothing against real christians, but not these kinds of hateful people. They’re just hipocrits

          2. christa

            seriously…this article on burning man is so crazy…As a christian, I must say…liberal christianity is so much nicer and so much more understanding of people’s freedom of expression. I have nener been to burning man but I have heard much about it… this site that posted this article is from conservative views…the kind of christians that have lots of rights and wrongs, dos and don’ts! please do not think all christians are like this…god loves us all..and if your morals are in tacked then you take them with you where you go!!!! have fun!

        5. Matt

          How uneducated are you, do you yourself walk upright, or do your knuckles scrape the ground, you ignorant redneck!

          Biblical science??? …hmmmm.. how do these two words even come into the same sentence? There is nothing scientific or even real about the bible, it is fiction, not to say there not some good morals that we, as a human species, just as the people that wrote the bible, came to our own conclusions, as it is a part of sentience and an evolutionary stepping stone. The Christian religion, like most existing religions today, are based on Pagan astrology, I bet you have never even looked into or considered this. Quick example, look at all of the similarities between Jesus and the Egyptian Horus, Born dec 12th, of a virgin, three kings, star in the sky, had 12 followers, worked as a carpenter, died, resurrected etc…. the list goes on, there are at least 20 other deity’s, gods etc….that existed over 10 thousand years before Jesus, that’s right, look it up! that have very similar or exactly the same details as Jesus, why do you think this is???? Open your eyes!

          Religion is also in collusion with those that control this planet, including, war, famine, death and the monetary slavery we are all endentured to. Religion has always been used by our leaders, and historically, these have been and still are religious leaders, to control the less educated people of this world, which is the majority, through fear of a god that will smite you down for being a ‘sinner’…….But he loves you!!!! What a farce.

          People that are religious have taken the easy way out, they have everything answered for them, they don’t need to think for themselves, how does our species advance and evolve, if we have all the answers, and if we have all the answers, why are we still living in such a corrupt and bloodied world today, where is your god? an innocent child dies every three seconds, infact 10 children have died whilst writing this incredibly insightful piece of enlightenment. Watch Zeitgeist films, don’t dismiss it, it will open your eyes to the ‘real’ world, and how to go about truly solving the earths problems, so that we all might truly explore our humanity, our spirituality, wherever it may take you!

          1. Kevin Schmidt

            So the Christians “stole” and plagiarized their religion from other religions. Doesn’t that violate the commandment that prohibits stealing?

        6. The TRUTH ABOUT AIDS

          Actually Rev, there were no aids raping savage africans. Lets take a quick biology lesson about these green apes you speak of. These green apes are very viscious and tempered apes. Apes generally have (dont quote me on this one BUT) I believe apes have about 2 or 3 times more muscle mass per pound than humans do. Therefore an ape could very, veryyyy easily outpower a man. It could also out run, outclimb and outfight a man. Now you want to talk about groups of men raping one monkey? Ok, lets take a look at that. These monkeys that carry AIDS have RAZOR SHARP claws and teeth. Now i cant speak for the general population of men. However, as a man I can personally say my weiner would never get near razor sharp claws or teeth. I dont care if Paris freaking Hilton had razor sharp teeth, my weiner aint going near there. Youre lies and perversion of the truth is sickening. You Illuminists will do anything to destroy the name of Our Lord and Savior, The Son of God, Jesus the Christ. Everybody knows AIDS was spread through vaccinations tainted with the AIDS virus to cause a depopulation of Africa in order to contribute to you globalistic’s plans for controlling the world and stomping on the HOLY LORD ALMIGHTY!!! God is watching you! Satan has fallen and the Lord God Lives! This world will be Jesus’ in the times soon to come!

        7. Mike

          This is totally off the topic of this completely falsified article, but I am curious what scientific evidence you have that gay africans raped monkeys and then turned san francisco gay?

          1. Jebediah Hawke Jr III

            Proof? Have you ever heard the sounds gay men make while indulging in their sinful seed spilling? Those noises — they’s monkey noises, they is.

            Homosexuality is a monkey fetish, but there aren’t enough monkeys to go round in San Francisco, so the monkey lovers make believe (not “make love”! love is between a man and a woman!) with each other.

            You tell me I’m wrong. You just tell me I’m wrong. You know you can’t.

          2. Really?

            Jeb III, Only you would know what sounds gay men make… and they probably echo around in your head and become distorted by all the other words you choose to define your reality with. I’ll bet you are snickering now, as you see yet one more visitor pass through your website where you make money by their click-throughs.

        8. The only sane one here

          There is something seriously wrong with your mental function or lack there of. You obviously no nothing about AIDS and are clearly a fanatic.

        9. moose

          Rev. Cluster I was raised as a Christian and the one thing I learned is that God holds you to a higher standard than most. To see the hatred and ignorance that you have spouted here
          reaffirms my belief that there are wolfs in sheeps clothing.
          Two years ago I traveled to Burningman (Evolution)to see what it was all about and I must say the spirit and acceptance displayed by all drove me to going last year also!
          Perhaps you Christians should attend to understand what true acceptance and love is all about. Yes there is sex if you want it but behind many rectory doors theres sex if you want it.
          At this years burn I’m gona place your name in the temple and pray that God forgives the ignorant!
          Stop in and say hello if your there I’m tending bar at the Dusty Swan
          Peace and Love


        10. Kameela

          Who are you to judge? You aren’t God or anything like him so eat shit, “catch” gay, and bathe in AIDS you better than thou faggot. Go to college you ignorant fuck.

          1. Jebediah Hawke Jr III

            Many sinners find one sin so enjoyable that they have to try other sins, even when they deny doing so

        11. joe

          you have to be the most ill informed sack of flesh i have ever seen. 99% of your burning man article is straight up lies. just because your afraid of the world you live does not mean you need to attempt to scare the rest of the world into thinking like your fragile little psyche. people like you just need to accept the world has alays and will always be full of real people you deem sinners. if you think anyone with half a brain believes the tripe you spit out then you are delusional my friend.perhaps you may want to do a little research before you type so your lies seem at least somewhat reasonable.

          love joe

          dated June, 15, in this foul year of our lord 2011

        12. Jerry Eamon

          Wow, Rev. Custer, either you are the most uninformed homophobic bible thumper on the face of the planet… or you are just as dumb as the retarded notion that a man in the clouds dictates, judges then punishes or rewards man for what he perceives to be moral and right.

          First off; AIDS did not necessarily come from Africa, the disease popped up at the exact same time in America as it did in Africa! Specifically speaking in the mid 70’s and even though it was thought to be a “Gay Disease” it infected just as many if not MORE straight men and women in poor communities in New York City then it did people in the gay community at first.

          The disease did spread allot faster in the gay community this is true, and yes you could attribute this to the promiscuity prevalent in the gay communities. However, in NO WAY WHATSOEVER is AIDS a disease cause by gay men, let alone gay men with an affinity for bestiality! It saddens me greatly that a Rev. with a possible means of shaping young peoples minds would have such an evil, hate-mongering outlook on such a tragic case of a vaccination causing an epidemic…

          If you want to know the truth, their is a very specific reason WHY chimpanzees and the HIV virus are related, and if you took two seconds to do a bit of research you would learn that it had absolutely nothing to do with men having sex with chimps and everything to do with the development of an experimental Hepatitis B vaccine that was created using chimpanzee antibodies that was tested first (without their knowledge I might add) in clinics in Africa, the poorer black neighborhoods in NYC and gay hep B patience in San Francisco and NYC.

          You sir need to educate your self before you start spewing off such hate filled bullshit, and maybe do the world a favor and go suck on a tail pipe until you meet your imaginary friend in the clouds. Douche.

        13. L fox

          Well I’ve gotta say baby eating and animal sacrifice is right up my alley what desert was that again??? OOHHH yeah meth lollis and drum music, me and my Fiancee (oh no she is not my same skin color please don’t crucify me you pious dummies) will deff. be there!
          and as for the origin of aids you are all so backwards and funny thanks for making my day

          Peace and love from San franfreeakycisco!

        14. Sebastian Copeland

          Uh-hu. Have you ever tried having annal sex with an ape? Let alone oral sex reverend Custer…?
          If you manage to walk away with your privates intact, we’ll get you a spot in the Guinness. But I would recommend you stick to the mayo.

          Oh and by the way, the article got the Burning Man attendance wrong: the range is actually between 122,508 to 182,827. Please make a note of it.

        15. Sebastian Copeland

          Uh-hu. Have you ever tried having annal sex with an ape? Let alone oral sex with one reverend Custer…?
          If you manage to walk away with your privates intact, we’ll get you a spot in the Guinness. But I would recommend you stick to the mayo.

          Oh and by the way, the article got the Burning Man attendance wrong: the range is actually between 122,508 to 182,827.

          Please make a note of it.

        16. Sebastian Copeland

          Uh-hu. Have you ever tried having anal sex with a monkey? Let alone oral sex with one, Reverend Custer…? If you this ends with your privates intact, we’ll get you in the Guinness. But honestly, I would recommend you stick to the mayo.

          Oh and by the way the range of Burning Man attendees quoted in the article is wrong. The actual numbers are between 122,527 to 182,808 people.

          Please make a note of it.

        17. JR

          AIDS was created by NATURE and jumped the human-ape divide through the eating of infected uncooked meet and blood products. This so called man of GOD is nothing more than a hate mongering fool and deffinately not one of GOD’s chosen ones. He will rot in hell for sure and be seated next to the authur of the article. That’s OK because he will have plenty of company with the past Popes and their pedophile priest minions to keep him company.
          Let us not forget that the Bibles are really books of fiction manipulatged by men to give them power and status above the masses.

        18. bobby


          Internet haters are everywhere. Rev. Custer seriously. Rev. Racist asshole more like.

          Your such a closed mind. You only ‘discovered AIDS 5 years ago, the rest of the world has known since the 80’s dude.

          Go read a book that isn’t about your invisible friend. You never know, you might accidentally learn something.

      2. Renegade Nuns on Wheels

        These self righteous, willfully ignorant twerps are not Christian at all, not do they have an iota of scientific understanding. That’s not surprising, par for the course these days with the loony tune right wing. Keep spouting your bullshit and lies, we’ll be here to shoot ’em all down.

        1. Jebediah Hawke Jr III

          Have you ever heard of parody? Get off your high horse and grow a sense of humour (and perspective).

      3. Kingorocks

        You guys crack me up. I hope none of these comments are actually serious. AIDS actually came from America, just like some of the other deadly diseases that we brought to third world countries when we did illegal and unconstitutional testing on sick groups. The AIDS virus was created in a laboratory right here in the US, and distributed to Africa as a crude attempt to begin depopulation. Ask any scientist who studies AIDS and they will tell you that it is impossible for any natural born bacteria or virus to suddenly spring forth and spread in the way that AIDS has.

        1. Jess

          God brought everything into existence…or are you denying that God is all powerful the creator of heaven, earth and hell. Believe what you will III but when it comes to what the All Mighty created you better think hard about the teachings that say God created everything and that even sin and suffering has His fingerprint and its place in His world.

          1. Robby

            Wow, you really didn’t learn anything from your bible did you? God is GOOD, not bad, therefore to say that he created AIDS is dumb on two part, 1) It is HIV, AIDS is a syndrome caused by a virus, that virus is HIV, so it is really incorrect to say that somebody catches AIDS, or even that god created AIDS, he only “created” the virus known as HIV. Secondly, he didn’t create anything negative, that is in the bible, sin comes from man, not from God. So please, learn some more about the religion that you choose to oppress people with before you try to talk about it, because you just sound dumb.

          2. GOD CREATED ALL

            @ Robby
            God can decide to let us suffer or not. God has put famine on the earth and plagues. People are cursed with diseases, others have it who are righteous in his eyes. God can vanquish any evil and God created Satin. Without sin we would not know the difference between good and evil. Both God created. He created everything! And can allow things to come to pass if he wants. Everything is under his control though we may not understand it. It is not up to you to tell others what he created and what he didn’t, because in reality he knows all and created all.
            And how about you, while you’re at it, learn that everyone believes a little differently and stop insulting others.
            Sure makes you look like a great Christian someone wants to follow doesn’t it?

        2. jesus

          god didn’t make gays? they happened behind his back or what? i was under the impression was all powerful, in which case gays must be pretty damn sneaky to come up with a new sexual preference behind his back.

        3. AverySays

          “Believe gays did and God didn’t make gay.”

          What are you trying to say?

          Seriously, read it aloud to a friend with an education so that they can explain why your statement defies the fundamentals of communication.

          This is not even a sentence!

          Were you trying to say that God didn’t make gays, the gays made gays?

          How could anyone possible think that you are a reporter?

          1. Jebediah Hawke Jr III

            “How could anyone possible think that you are a reporter?”

            Take a look in a mirror. This website is a *parody* — it is you who mistook “Tyson Bowers III” for not only a real name, but an actual evangelical blogger, rather than a satirist.

            Now go away and think about what you actually just said….

        4. Kevin Schmidt


          ‘According to the ‘Natural transfer’ theory (also called ‘Hunter Theory’ or ‘Bushmeat Theory’), the “simplest and most plausible explanation for the cross-species transmission” of SIV or HIV (post mutation), the virus was transmitted from an ape or monkey to a human when a hunter or bushmeat vendor/handler was bitten or cut while hunting or butchering the animal.

          The resulting exposure to blood or other bodily fluids of the animal can result in SIV infection.

          A recent serological survey showed that human infections by SIV are not rare in Central Africa: the percentage of people showing seroreactivity to antigens – evidence of current or past SIV infection – was 2.3% among the general population of Cameroon, 7.8% in villages where bushmeat is practiced, and 17.1% in the most exposed people of these villages.

          How the SIV virus would have transformed into HIV after infection of the hunter or bushmeat handler from the ape/monkey is still a matter of debate, although natural selection would favor any virions capable of adjusting so that they could infect and reproduce in the T cells of a human host.’

          1. Jebediah Hawke Jr III

            Hmmm… on a serious note, if SIV isn’t generally fatal in humans, does it have any potential as a basis for innoculations, like how we use specially-bred cow TB in the BCG to protect against TB in humans?

          2. This Guy

            All conspiracy theories aside about fucking monkeys and eating tainted monkeys, US gov labs and false inoculations a la the american native yellow fever/measles style, this is the most solid data I have heard on the origin of the HI virus. However I have to condemn you for siting wikipedia. if you go to the bottom of the wiki article the poster will most likely have links to or sources that are legitimate. That’s what you want to site.
            @ jeb III below, Just heard this story on satan’s radio, otherwise known as NPR, there is one confirmed (not magic johnson style) case of a german man that was cured. It has something to do with his mildly rare form of lymphoma cancer and the experimental treatment there of. It’s something like his t-cells when attacked by the virus turn off the attack mechanism in the virus. So it can’t really spread throughout the body. that is an extreme paraphrase and stitched together at that from a memory like a colander. You can probably find the archived story at search for “aids cure” (i’m not doing the research for you)
            ps: the article was funny, but be careful in your strive at authenticity, and slow down on being pissed at people for not getting it. remember Orson Wells panicked hundreds of thousands of people that tuned in late to a radio broadcast, which was the internet of the time.

        5. Robby

          Your kind of an idiot, and by the way, your article is so off base, Burning man doesn’t take place in the Blockhole Desert, it’s the Blackrock desert, and it is actually in Northern Nevada, about 8-9 hours drive from Las Vegas, outside of RENO, well that is the closest thing to a big city anyways. And if HIV (not AIDS by the way) was created by God than why do god fearing women in marriages contract the virus?

        6. Dani

          I thought I would never meet the most ignorant person in this planet. Contrats Tyson Bowers III, you just won the award of Most Ignorant Person On This Planet.

        7. Emily

          “Believe gays did and God didn’t make gay.” WHAT!! That doesn’t make ANY sense both in terms of content and grammar! Did you even go to school? You are a moron! Actually, I apologize, I take that back, that is an insult to morons! You Tyson Bowers are a disgrace to humanity, a pathetic, vile and disgusting excuse for a human being! I am ashamed to be a member of the same species as you!

        8. Diabiblical

          The magnitude of arrogantly displayed ignorance demonstrated by this dribble’s writer and his herd of monkey brained dodos… is staggering.

          Really, is there any surprise these religious tards so enjoy having sex with kids. How pathetic.

          10 bucks says Tyson will be brought up on pedophilia charges in the years to come. Anyone this ignorant and vocal always has something dark, ugly, and pathetically small… hidden in his pants.

          Dear God, please piss on these clowns.

        9. The only sane one here

          let me pose a question…who is making these “homosexuals”? Um that would be heterosexual couples. So according to you perhaps we should all quit breeding? Personally I believe that you should not judge..I believe the Bible says….”Judge not lest you be judged, for GOD will judge you as harshly as you judge others”. Good luck Mr. Bowers preeching your BS in hell. Let us know how that works for you.

          1. Bruce Danus

            I hope you do not breed, because you can only quote the one bible verse that everybody quotes to us, while we can quote multiple verses to refute you. Please leave your sad opinions in your mind and take care of your 3 or 4 children you have from 9 different “Baby Daddies”. You will not find those “Baby Daddies” by going back to Burning Man, all you will find is another pregnancy.

        10. Sissy

          Excuse me, Tyson is it? Your article has to me the most misinterpreted, piece of yellow jounalism I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading. Where did you get your facts? Burning Man is not sponsored by anything or anyone. Did you go incognito one year to really see what Burning man was all about? Hey, you must have been the asshat everyone was talking about.

          Not only are your facts grossly incorrect, but so is saying that “Gays did and God didn’t make gay”. When the last time you had lunch with him and talked to him about homosexuality or Burning Man? Do you have a red phone to God? Was it like, “Hey God, so what do you think about all these homos and the AIDS they brought to us?”

          God made each and everyone of us. We are all His children, no matter what. He loves each and everyone of us. Who are YOU to pass judgment on anyone? YOU are not God. He’s the only one who can pass judgment.

          You have this sick, perverted, mind that insists on spewing filth and lies of something you have no knowledge of. You remind me of Jim Jones. He suckered innocent people to believe he was some kind of prophet or God-like man, and look how that turned out.

          Having an opinion is one thing. But using your poison pen to translate a gathering of people who don’t hate, and only care about their fellow human being, into sick and twisted version of your own soul is blasphemy.

          May you seek forgiveness and receive a penance for the hatred and sickness of your mind and soul.

          May God Bless you

        11. annon

          The first reported aids case came from a straight married christian couple in Africa. So…no…the “gays” did not create aids.

        12. Matt

          Tyson, you ignorant twat, it is all so easy to dismiss everything bad in this world as ‘Satan did it’. (not saying at all that being homosexual is bad, I am pro-gay and believe gay people are naturally designed by mother nature)

          I suppose Satan really did posses all those young innocent girls that were burnt at the stake, because they turned down advances from dirty, filthy men like you and accused of being witches for doing so!

          Bet you say ‘Satan made me do it’ when ever you do something you know you are not supposed to, or something bad happening in the world, ‘Satan’s at it again…look at that’! Wake up and open your eyes!

          As the great George Carlin said: ‘I think we’re part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron…whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while’.

          And that is not a religious statement, if you think it is, you don’t get it, and sadly for you, you probably never will. I look forward to a day we actually become an enlightened species and threads like this would never even exist.

          It is as funny as hell though! Hail Satan!

    1. Lowrent the clown

      Hey Ice, I thought you worked at burning man, You’ve clearly been there, how else would you know about all the syphiherpigonnareaids orgies we have.

    2. Bobby

      Not to mention the complete lack of PROPER english. You talk about a pathetic excuse of a scare tactic. Tyson Bowers, take an english class! If you need to post hateful blogs without any sources, any real noteriety, and just yourself as an expert, HA! get a grip. Learn something new, try to put all of your hateful energy into something real, like saving the planet. Calling people names, is very elementary and unprofessional as an (note the use of an) “author”. Even the hateful responses are written in an uneducated way. I feel sorry for anyone that knows you in real life, you must be a real peach. I’ve been reading this “christwire” bullshit and can’t digest the complete lack of evidence to back up any of these “opinions” you “authors” have. I mean come on…”sin snakes”? “milk sacs”? I wouldn’t even say these words to my children. Disgusting. Get an education, my friends, you are what is ruining our MOTHER EARTH. “oooh what a hippie”

      1. Jonny

        A-MEN!! Reading this article was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever attempted. Embarrassing.

    3. Ghasstly

      Its not burning man thats responsible for the increase in aids… its your whore daughter’s fault.

    4. Intrigue

      Wow… This article is wrong throughout the whole thing. One, ur a hate mongering religious fucking punk who is so obsessed with religion and think ur views are right is just hilarious. No1 in their right mind can possibly take you seriously. You need counseling because you have a lot of deep seated psychologic problems. How mistaken you are and BRAINWASHED. There are no sacrifices or or any of the shit you listed. It’s great when a douchebag, such as urself, talks about something you’ve never been to. The capacity level is only about 75-120 k off…. and you my friend are going to Hell… if you believe in that bullshit that you say is ur religion. You probably think that the Easter Bunny and Santa are real too. Do the world a favor and pull ur lip over ur head and swallow.

        1. dustysinsnake

          Sadly the author of this piece of work wrote it in complete seriousness. What’s awesome is that it’s being read as satire by the very people he’s trying to denounce as amoral sexual deviants. Biblical Institute? Jesus Fucking Christ! :)

          1. drdeb

            I am a family practice doctor,I go to Burning Man with my hubbie,mom and my kids. She is a born again Christian and loves it.She laughs the whole time.Its fabulous fun with great costumes, beautiful art that is staggering in its scope. The people are open, loving, joyous ,and filled with community.We are there to build a community together. Its truly a work of art with music, dance, and fun for the whole family, Everyone builds contraptions and games for other people to participate in (giant Mousetrap, Rube-Goldbergs,playgrounds, cars,interactive art).It is a transformative event for many.
            3 years ago ,I walked into a fire and had an epiphany of divine proportions-Since.then, I have devoted my life to service and helping others. This article is so weird to read and the facts are grossly distorted ,perverse, sick,and just plain wrong, written by a sick , evil ,twisted mind.Really,only a sick mind could even think of the nasty stuff he writes about. SUPER DUPER NASTY MAN WHO WROTE THIS!!All you have to do is go to the website , to see what it is all about.Start with the principles,which include community, participation, creative expression, and non judgement. My kids say it was better than 4th of July,Christmas, and birthday all rolled into one! I recommend it for anyone who wants to be happy and feel their inner artist shine!! love and gratitude.dr deb

          2. Retro

            Oh my god man… you have to be kidding me. You think this is real? Try looking around the site at some of the other “stories”.

            Sadly, the author of this article wrote a brilliant (purposefully rambling and misspelled) satirical piece, and you and many other fellow burners are just not getting it.

          1. TYPO

   is some of the best satire out there. It’s hilarious! but the comment threads are the best part.

    5. JPM

      I respect the right to voice an opinion here, many have died for that right, many in my family.
      I have learned many religions, many cultures and many beliefs. I like to study people, our organic world, our minds and our meta physical world. The views in this statement however reminds me of all of the people who sit up in the stands and point fingers and people on the playing field. It also reminds me of the people who suddenly learn something and think everybody should do the same or not do the same as it were. The narrowness and inability to seamlessly change ones perception in many people like this is disturbing. If you looked at this person hard you will find traits like prejudice, insecurity, paranoia, and the general inability to mindful enough to not believe everything you read, and hear. Sad really that we have so many pea brains alongside of us.

    6. shae

      I was pondering how anyone would publish such a terrible article full of obviously hateful bias and blatant untruths, but then it became obvious. This is a joke, right?
      If it isn’t, you need some serious research teams before the next ‘article’ you put out and you may want to look up a bible verse of your own

      ‘For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. Mk. 4.24′

    7. informed

      if anyone had actually been to burning man, they would laugh their asses off at this.

      oh yes, there’s drugs and sex and dancing, but that’s a small group, if not being done in the privacy of ones own tent.

      and what about the great christen services they have on Sunday’s in the desert? or the multi-denominational congregations that dance to celebrate life?

      oh, and btw, AIDs came from Africa, from monkeys. if an EVENT actually could make stds, then we have issues.

      another note: most of the events at burning man you have to be either 18 or 21 to enter. nice ploy of suggesting teenagers end up in the middle of the desert on their own for this.

      it comes down to this, it’s fun, it’s not your moral code, therefore it’s wrong. just be honest and stop making shit up. isn’t lying a sin? and making shit up is lying.

      get out there and experience it. THEN make a judgement.

    8. JAZ

      Ha! I couldn’t have made a better spoof if I tried. It is hilarious what people who have never been to burning man can make up! I can’t stop laughing!!!

    9. Jack

      Satire or not; some are not smart enough to catch on. Grammatically incorrect, factually incorrect, just a bunch of heathen lies. As a former Nevada native, I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, Burning Man is the tamest thing you’ll find in that state. Gays are not wanted, nor tolerated, and you’ll find at least three or four churches per square mile, because the people who didn’t lose all of it to the house can put it in the collection plate. Churches don’t care your sexuality, only your pocketbook.

      For it truly to be sarcasm, it must have an err of truth involved. The only thing I read truthfully was “drum & bass” music (not “drummed and based”). Speaking of which, how can I base techno music? I think I need some more tin foil.

      FTA: “Burning Man is a week long festival of book burning, anti-God worship and baby eating babble that only Satan himself would be able to fondle himself over.”

      I’m anti-Burning for other reasons, mostly because I fondle myself to death metal, while spanking off with pig’s blood, and even though Burning Man offers a lot, they don’t have a tent for me. :(

      I’ll see y’all at the rapture; I’ll be the one roasting weenies off your burning corpses. That will be all.

      1. Kevin Schmidt

        Nancy Pelosi wants to roast Weiner’s wiener.

        Too bad she didn’t burn Bush/dick a few years ago for what Progressive Democrat Dennis Kucinich charged them with in over thirty Articles of Impeachment that took all day to read in Congress.

    10. Josh Robinson

      Ahahaha this website is ridiculous & this article is very one sided from a person who is obviously obsessed with god and religion.I bet you guys also thought the world was going to end a few weeks ago predicted by that old retard… (who is a genius for be a powerful public speaker to get retarded people to give up there possessions to him! hahaha) FUCKING MISINFORMED FOOLS! Go the the event and live life while having fun and being responsible. Don’t judge all OF US for the few who’s actions are extreme actions!!!!.. If we all did and have this view point on all topics, then what would peoples out look on religion be in 2011?!?!? PLEASEEEE

    11. Sparrow

      first off, the black plague was caused by infected rats, second off, I know people that go, and they are not devil worshipers. As far as nakedness goes, it was through the sin of eating the apple that we began to need clothes. The festival mocks people like you, and their gullibility

    12. drdeb

      whoever wrote this is a perverted man.I cant even imagine all the nasty stuff that comes out of his should be ashamed to write all this nasty are disgustingly and weird. you are an embarrassment to so many. you have less than a high school education. definitely never went or graduated from a university. ewww!i hope your children dont read this .

    13. Fonzy Bonzo

      “At each party, the party goers are encouraged to create their own false idols which they will later on burn and dance around as they joyfully sin in hopes to arouse Satan in a erotic fantasy of orgasms.”

      The author himself was obviously aroused when he wrote this. Hilarious.

    14. Caroline Houck

      The problem with this article is it’s not true. The person who wrote it has never been to Burningman. I have been many times. It’s an art festival and people dress up and act silly. I have been there many times when a man was disappointed because he didn’t get laid. it’s not a sex fest at all. people are actually pretty insular — only wanting to hang out with people they know. This article is actually more vulgar than anything i have ever seen at Burningman.

    15. janet

      wow you people really are stupid!! There’s none of that going on there……granted people do go alittle crazy but not like this!!

      if you want to know what goes on come on out there?!! You closed minded fools

    16. Ember

      Take the efn logs out of your own eye before you point out the splinter in your neighbor’s. How malinformed can you possibly be?

    17. LoBro

      I’ve also heard Burning Man is just a big soup cook off where men and women wear full body corned beef suits and talk only in pig-latin. They collect their own feces and store it for seven days in Rubbermaid tubs, but only after a dark ritual involving typhoid disease and yogurt. On the final day, they season the fecal matter with Emeril’s steak rub, call upon the fiery demons of hell to consolidate their car payments for the coming year, and finally fertilize the desert floor with the spiciest of fecal matter ever known to our Lord above. This act is done in the hopes that a healthy yielding crop of demonic Danish potatoes and Satanic celery root may finally consume us all.

      Any thoughts?


    18. ice is dumb

      AID’s – really? what exactly do you think AID’s is “owning”..speaks to the level of your intelligence

      FYI – AIDS is an acronym – if you are going to get all high and mighty in the future..and develop your own twisted theories of what started a horrible and devastating least get your facts straight

      AIDS = Acquired immune deficiency syndrome or acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS)

    19. Stephen


      I love Christian people. Oh, how boring life would be without them.

      The best part about this is that since Christian research doesn’t have any access to facts or anything that could even come close to indisputably winning an argument, they have to resort to name calling. As a result, every time they refer to the people in this article, they’re called “whore-people” or “sinner-people” instead of just people. And what’s the deal with the “fecal flinging homosexuals”? That doesn’t even make sense! Are gays known to fling poo? Or is that just a completely unrelated attempt at an insult, which happens to not even be insulting because it literally came out of nowhere. It’s like the author was lost for words to describe gay people, and so he just thought of something he probably wouldn’t like (being covered in poo) and then called them that.

      It’s pathetic, really, to see people devoting their lives to the guaranteed misery that is religion. The dudes are going to be so sad when they’re dead, and they realize there is no heaven, and that they’ve wasted their entire lives trying to please someone that doesn’t exist.

      Haven’t you guys noticed that bible research isn’t research yet? I mean, you would think that after all the failed end of the world predictions people would start to wonder whether all the other “facts” in the Christian religion might be made up bullshit as well? But perhaps not… I guess you have to be pretty dumb to join the faith in the first place, so you can’t really expect much of them.

      Also, if you’re trying to prove a point, you might want to proofread your article. Otherwise you just look dumb…er.

      1. The White Rabbit

        No, it’s cool, Stephen! The religion isn’t bullshit, you just wait and see…you’ll become a believer when the THIRD rapture happens!!!

        I’m laughing so hard, it actually hurts…and all this talk of how gays were created by Satan, which makes me wonder about all the boy-raping Priests out there…unless all you religious types forgot about that particularly nasty string of years in recent church history?

        It truly astounds me that the establishment has successfully wielded organized religion as the mass mind control device that it is for so long on so many unsuspecting souls with such impunity!

        Those of you who claim to be open-minded (especially in this particular Swiss-cheese religion) should probably challenge yourselves by stepping outside of the prescribed dosage of history taught in modern schools and and broadcast on television channels and start tracing your own ideological roots with sources OTHER than the bible…the results might just surprise you, and if you’re really lucky, open your eyes to the fallacy that has been orchestrated upon your kind over centuries.

        “You don’t eyes to see, you need vision.”

    20. Burner Baby

      You’d have to be so ignorant to miss the manipulative words blowing everything out of proportion plus straight up lying. Why don’t you try going to burning man, the festival that is leave no trace, runs like a small community, and focuses on the arts.

    21. Tara

      I’ve been the Burning Man 2x and never seen any of this + there’s so many wrong facts in the article I’ll just mention the easiest one for anyone to check … google yearly attendance to start.

      I can’t help but think that this author is simply trying to reel us in, get internet traffic.. why else would someone write something just so wrong?

      Lastly, is it me or are the pics on this website sexually provocative? Who’s this website’s audience?

      After reading the article and seeing the pictures I honestly looked around for a few minutes trying to see if this was actually some sexually subversive site. I mean what Christian site uses photos like that??

    22. Alex

      God gave Aids to that writers that write crap like this could suffer in hell.

      Homosexual priests probably give more aids to little children than anyone else

    23. David Bell

      Is Burning-Man to Blame for the Increase in American Teen STD Cases (Edited by DBell for ACCURACY!)

      Did you know there is a place in Las Vegas (80 miles North of Reno is a long way from Vegas!)
      …you can go to and burn Bibles (I searched Bible burning” and found nothing to show anyone had ever done so)
      …while making sex sessions with random women dressed up like the Easter Bunny (The Bunny parade is mostly guys and just for “fun”!)
      …and little bubble bees? (Costumes offend this open minded individual! I wanna read his Halloween rant!)
      …Has anyone told you that you can be apart of a week long journey of hazy drug male sin docking, with married men? (Married men in homosexual relationships? Sounds like most fundamentalist Christians!)
      …Anyone ever tell you about a group of meth laced lollipop lickers, dancing to Satanic drum beats (Never heard of such! I guess the implication is that they would be given to children! Drums = Satinanic?)

      …while semen demons (It is BAD to ejaculate!)
      …and devil whores dance in sexual gyrations? (Dancing IS sexual – or at least CAN be! Sex = Bad!)
      …Have you ever heard of stories about a fiery idol being burned to celebrate deviancy against God? (Yea, I saw so many people celebrating deviency against God! There must be 200+ Yoga sessions on La Playa! Oh, Yoga is most likely also a crime against God!)

      If so, you most likely are hearing the horrid tales of a festival called “Burning Man”, which is a annually held music festival to celebrate everything anti-American and anti-morals. (Freedom of expression is Anti-American and against God? Art is against God!).

      What is Burning Man?
      …Burning Man is an annual, week long drug slinger festival sponsored by Hot Topic (Who is Hot Topic? Burning Man is NOT SPONSORED BY ANYONE! It is against the basic principle to commercialize B-Man! (98%. or so, of the B-Man budget is from the (large) admission fee!)

      …that is held in the Blackhole Desert (Blackrock Desert! great, accurate research!)
      …in the northern part of Las Vegas. (Again, 80 miles Nort of Reno is NOT near Vegas!)
      …Burning Man is a week long festival of book burning, anti-God worship and baby eating babble that only Satan himself would be able to fondle himself over. (Baby eating? Infantcide in BRC? Call the cops! And Kidscamp, a group of extremely caring parents would be SHOCKED to hear this!)
      ….At each party, the party goers are encouraged to create their own false idols (Er, make art = false idols?)
      …which they will later on burn and dance around as they joyfully sin in hopes to arouse Satan in a erotic fantasy of orgasms. yes the goal is to arouse satin! (Not to burn your art to make it truely “tempoary” or so ya don’t have to lug it home! And, again, orgasms are BAD!).
      Who Goes to Burning Man?
      …Besides the copious amounts of fecal flinging, sex addicted homosexuals (Fecal flinging? Yea, people do THAT all day. every day! I’ll just have to find “Camp Fecal Flinging” as I bet it would be oh so popular!)
      …the clown dressed midgets and bath salt sniffing hippies, (Midget just LOVE those clown suits! And why would anyone sniff bath salts? Midgets = Devil!)
      …you can see a wide variety of God hating sinners (Damn! ust look at all the anti-od camps! 2011s theme camp list is on, check it out!)
      …Burning man usually consists of around 122,500 to 182,805 (50,000 or so)
      …people looking to reenact scenes that would make a Roman bath house look like the softest form of downloadable .avi porn on the internet. (I am sure the author know ALL about net porn!)
      The whore women (Tho shalt NOT judge!)
      …are asked to weird the most outlandish outfits (“Asked” by whom?)
      and to make sure that woman have their milk sacks exposed (“milk sacks”?)
      …or to at least have moist camel hump noticeable (An official dress code requirement!)
      in the tight shorts. It is very common to see women in Old Navy hot pants, Hot Topic (A clothing company this individual must have something against)
      fish nets and cut up Dirty Shirty bosom tops with words like “My Dad Says I’m Cute” (Remind me to go to Camp pedophilia/Incest!)
      or “I Always Get Backstage” smeared across them. Men are told to dress up like something you would see out of a nightmarish San Fransisco leather parade and that you can show bare chest only if you have a sculptured solid body. (Oh, ya cannot take yer shirt of unless you have a sculptured body! A good body is NOT a gift of God, rather the Devil!).
      Pretty much if you asked a gps to look for a group of ugly people who play with necromantic black magic and love to partake in a oily interracial sex orgy (Interracial sex is against the will of God! what a fuckin’ RACIST!)
      …it would point you right to this desert festival of gluttonous fornication.

      What Goes on at Burning Man?
      …What the immature amounts of female nudity and exposed male sin snakes (immature nudity? Huh?)
      …isn’t enough? Or how about the naked tug of war games or the false idol constructions? Or to top it off, how about large amounts of gay men tip toeing in the desert, hammering out male on male mouth sex acts, while hippies cheer them on and take photos (Obviously he NEVER read the policy on taking movies and photos! You are NOT to do so w/o permission!)
      …to upload to their Twitter accounts.
      Have you every heard of a “STD Party”? If not, a STD Party is were groups of disease infested party goers, like our Burning Man friends here and they sign up on a list stating which STD they have. (So, people who have herpes should just stay celebate)
      …Once on the list, they are able to look at others on the list and see which type of STD they want to swap. Once they pick out their fancy, they met up in a what they call “Caring Tent” and partake in a sandy act of sexual transfusion and Satanic pleasures.
      Parties like these are what caused the black plague in England. Unmoral, non-God loving drunks would have multiple sex insertion sessions with unwashed privates parts from multiple people and would spread sickness across the lands (Actually the homos will wash your private parts! Honestly!)
      If we don’t stop (Fuck off! Stop this for America! What a fuck head!)
      …this, America will be facing the same low t-cell count destiny.

      …If the STD parties don’t tickle your penile or baby hole fancy (This guy is most likely a pedophile)
      …you can always join in on the animal sacrifices or take a demonic journey in the acid trip sweat rooms (Call PETA!).
      …Dancing to “drummed and based” music is also a very popular event. So if you’re a maniac for dancing under the Devil’s desert disco ball (He is RIGHT here! Disco is demonic!)
      …you will have a place to call home.
      So if you want to ride first class on hell’s 747 or have your body riddled with illnesses, hop in your car and drink from the devil’s pleasure cup. If you want to be bless with eternal life then band with us and say no to this false paradise of gang banging hussies and phallic exposing maestros.

      (I wish this guy had taken credit for writing this! Then when we read of his having infants enslaved in his back yard and raping them while reading a pornographic version of the Bible we can all just laugh! You know he is one sick mouther fucker!)

    24. John R

      You are out of your mind truly insane if you think satan has anything to do with people having a good time and listening to music. Im sorry that our music doesnt sing about jesus. You know what music is older than jesus so you cant really say anything bad about it. Get your fucking facts straight you narrow minded jesus loving psycho!

    25. Tim

      Is this web site for real or is it some sort of joke? It is obvious that the author has no idea what he is talking about. What an idiot.

    26. scohina

      Hey Mister,

      AIDS didn’t start at some “sick” orgy… DUH! everybody know’s that. Your mother brought it back after getting porked by a chimp in Africa.

    27. Mighty Angle in Disquise

      There is more God out at Burning Man than this man has in his soul. I don’t drink or do drugs on the playa. I hang with some of the worlds brightest, most amazing, spiritual beings in that place. There are lot’s of angels at BM. Yes, there are those types that want to party (as if it’s wrong to experience your humanness )??? All that repression this author subconsciously preaches is what’s wrong with the world and why Priest’s molest little boys all over the world in ‘Gods Home”. Us party folks and us spirit seekers cohabitate with one another, remember “love thy Neighbor”???? You obviously have never gone and when I go the spirit goes with me! Please go live a little before passing on so much judgement to others. It would do you a WORLD of Good and GOD.

    28. Noelle

      Shame on you for putting out such lies about an event that you have clearly never been to. I have been in attendance for 8 years and have NEVER seen any of the things claimed here.It is quite the opposite of what you have portrayed here. None of your facts are correct. How can you write about something you have not researched and choose just to make up on the fly to create your own creepy story. If God is everywhere he is most Cerrtainly out on the playa celebrating life, art and love there. Sadly, you are the fool with your disgusting fiction.

      1. Jess

        What would Jesus Do? Well the bible says he loved whorelot and yes there is something about loving the sinner but where is your love for the whorelot or is Jesus to hard an example to follow?
        Peace be with you

      2. Lowrent the clown

        Wow Susan, you are a hateful person, definitely a misguided delusional ignorant student of the christian institution, but not a follower of Christ. I hope one day you wake up covered in dust, wearing a tutu and bunny ears, your boobs hanging out, only to realize you just had a great time celebrating and dancing at burning man.

      3. Rocco

        What’s up with the “sin hole”? God made the vagina and you kind of need them to reproduce wich is God’s will. Hate the sin not the sinner. Jesus ate with sinners. If you are not a sinner you don’t need Jesus. Every person from Mother Mary to Mother Theresa with the exception of Jesus is a sinner.

        1. Shannon

          The fact that the word “sin hole” is even used shows how small minded they are, its called a VAGINA! Or some people say vajajay but “sin hole” is for small minded they are

        2. Matt

          Jesus was no exception …. he was gay, what do you think he was doing whilst missing all those years, romping around with 12 men! He was also black! Idiots!!!!!

        3. Grim

          Technically, by being born, jesus was in fact, born into sin, and further sinned again by not being baptized. By God’s will Jesus was born into sin within the flesh of a man.

      4. dustysinsnake

        Everything everyone says on this feed is hilarious, whether it be intentional or not, and I can’t differentiate between the “true believers” and those of us just having some fun.

        Which are you? Because if you’re serious, using terms like “whorelot” and “sin hole” (like the orignal author of this article) eradicate all inklings of credibility.

        P.S. The comment you were responding to was a joke as well.

      5. dustysinsnake

        Everything everyone says on this feed is hilarious, whether it be intentional or not, and I can’t differentiate between the “true believers” and those of us just having some fun.

        Which are you? Because if you’re serious, using terms like “whorelot” and “sin hole” (like the original author of this article) eradicate all inklings of credibility.

        P.S. The comment you were responding to was a joke as well.

      6. informed

        it’s so funny the women calling other women whores here. it’s probably because they WISH sex was this much fun for them!

      1. Shannon

        Im on Oklahoma! And I would so take you up on that offer is I could! Oh and by the way “Susan” my father really could care less what I do with my life.

          1. Shannon

            Nothing in that message said anything about hooking up, no phone numbers were exchanged, the only thing we said is what state we are in, how in hell does that constitute a hook up?

          2. Lowrent the clown

            I saw that, they clearly touched their internet genitals together. they’ll probly have god hating internet babies now.

          3. ex-christian

            I’ve seen sex hook-ups happen in the catholic church. Gay sex. Pedophiliac sex.

            So… what’s your point? People have sex?

            Or is it that you are a perverted voyeur and you feel guilty that you watched someone have sex?

            No, I just think that you are a hypocrite.

            Say… do you have the rights to use those photographs, or did you steal those from someone else?

          4. Jack

            Tyson: You were at that whorehouse too? Man those dudes were just plugging it and giving it to them! If I had known you were there, I would have introduced you to Charlie. He breaks in the newbies.

          5. Paul

            If Satan is responsible for so much and apparently God fails to stop this how do you really sort out what God does and what Satan does? Isn’t it just as possible that the group of people partying in the desert is the result of some unknown initiative of God and angered conservative reaction the culmination of Satan’s own plans? You might say you know better because you’re a righteous God fearing man, but what if Satan is the one who wanted you to be that way?

        1. Rev. Custer

          More homogay euphemisms. “See you at the clock tower”. Well, that doesn’t leave much to the imagination, does it?

          1. Paul

            If Satan is responsible for so much and apparently God fails to stop this how do you really sort out what God does and what Satan does? Isn’t it just as possible that the group of people partying in the desert is the result of some unknown initiative of God and angered conservative reaction the culmination of Satan’s own plans? You might say you know better because you’re a righteous God fearing man, but what if Satan is the one who wanted you to be that way?

          2. Daveeo

            Haha.. i have another gay ‘euphemism’ for you…. “would you like a cup of coffee?” see what i did there!, i turned an everyday phrase into the work of the devil because I had nothing else to do apart from make shit up and say that jesus said it. if jesus did exist he would laugh in your face and and probably tell you to chill the fuck out and buy you a glass of wine, he may even ask you to join him in his next gay orgy with his disciples, I do believe he did like hanging around with a lot of men after all. But of course you never considered this.

          3. MJN

            Wow. You are such a dork. You think “meet me at the clock tower” means anything? Hey Rev, meet me at the old watering hole!

  1. Ice Van Winkle

    I have heard the normal White men sometimes go just to be ‘gay for a day’ and they dress up in panty hose and wear whore’s lipstick. The Devil’s dust at the event will encrust every exposed orifice, so if you suspect that your friend or loved one may be one of these sickos, note to see which parts of their body are a crusty mixture of dust and bodily fluids when they return.

    1. Shannon

      Seriously “gay for a day” ? That is about the stupidest shit I have ever heard. I would much rather hang out with a bunch of gay guys than you stuck up prudes! At least when I wear a short skirt or a halter top gay guys dont look at me like Im a piece of meat.

        1. Shannon

          Im not trying to entice anything, it is just what I like to wear. There is no reason why I should cover up head to toe when I have the body to wear a bikini! I am proud of my body, its not my fault men are pigs!

          1. Susan B. Xenu

            shannon is a cheap whore looking to find a gay man to fill her sin hole , with his homosexual baby gravy so she can have a child to love her. NEWS FLASH!!!
            You dont need a gay baby to buy shoes with, you need the love of JESUS!!!

          2. Shannon

            First off, you must not really be a “christian” to call me a cheap whore, second off im not trying to find a gay man to have a baby with, im not trying to have any kids at all right now!

          3. Susan B. Xenu

            From what you described you dress like a cheap whore, you act like a cheap whore on our website, if your not a cheap whore it is certainly false advertising!

          4. Shannon

            I never said it was false advertising, just because thats how I choose do dress dose not mean I want to sleep with every man out there.

          5. Leviticus 3:18

            It is your fault that you’re going to hell though. You’ll have all eternity to think about tucking your moist camel humps in where they belong.

          6. Inscrutable

            It is unwise to be unclothed. God gave animals fur and to humans, clothes. To those foolish enough to prance about in an unclothed and liberal way, His wondrous yellow sun topples your selfish partying agenda with skin cancer.

            Your relationship with “man pigs” as you call them is one that you should pray about. Have you been reading JRR Tolkien? Are you attracted to hobbits? You might be talking about orcs; perhaps you enjoy cosplay at Burning Man wherein you get to magically invade Gandalf’s sinhole?

            Perhaps the “man pig” is a common hallucination given the huge amount of mind-melting LSD and snorted Oxycontin that is generously indulged in at these Burning, in Hell, Man Festivals.

            It is a proven fact, if you wear your non-existent sin-rags in the burning cesspool that is Burning Man, much sand will be added unto your various holy cracks … and make you want to pulsate violently to drummed and based music so that you can get the sand dislodged from your Blessed Mothering Cavity or other Sainted orifice.

          7. Shannon

            Well first off no I dont read The Hobbit, I read Twilight and Harry Potter, and I bet my hallucinations are a hell of a lot more fun than your sorry miserable life

          8. Derbader

            Shannon, you are being screwed with. You get that, right? Joke’s on you, trollbait. Do you think a Christian would call themselves Susan B. Xenu? The rest of you burners are embarrassing those of us who get the joke. Stop being suckers and laugh already!

          9. MJN

            Hey Susan. You’re a judgmental bitch. How Christian-like of you. If I recall, Jesus loves everybody the same…if you actually believe that bullshit. And seriously, “sin hole”? Maybe you should get you sin hole stuffed. It’s actually enjoyable believe it or not.

        2. jimbo

          I’ve been to plenty of festivals in my life…I rarely hook up, occasionally take a hit of acid or some mdma, but mostly I just enjoy the music and hang out talk to people from all over the country. There’s no sin in that. People like you are the reason I stopped believing in god. Your unsubstantiated excessive self-righteous gossip would be enough to make the god you describe vomit. You truly represent the most basic and barbaric level of human negativity and ignorance. I’m literally appalled that an organization that refers to themselves as christians would post such an unfounded rant. Ever read Old Yeller? You sincerely deserve to be taken out back and shot for the good of mankind, You fascist deceptive piece of garbage.

        3. L.N

          Yes. Clearly a woman wants to entice a homosexual man into having sex with her.

          Even though no homosexual man would sleep with a woman since they don’t get much out of it. Ya know, since they LIKE MEN.

          1. Neoconstipated

            People with the devil in their hearts are capable of all manner of sin and depravity.

          2. L.N

            What, that homosexual men like men? Yeah, I’m pretty sure. The preference of the same gender for love/sex is pretty much the definition of homosexual.

          3. Neoconstipated

            Remember that the homogay man is delirious from the spinning satanic influence that is common in demonic possession. That is why he’ll fornicate with anything, including animals or the knothole in the fence.
            It’s the fecal sphincter that attracts the homogay man. When a brown star is presented to the possessed homo-gay, he cannot help himself and will immediately engage in sinstick plunging.

          4. Robby

            Neoconstipated, it’s your father’s mouth on the other side that we like sticking our dicks into, not the knot in the fence, it just happens to be in the way!

          5. Neoconstipated

            Christwire is not interested in trollish gloryhole fantasies.

            Please limit them to private tweets between you and to your brownstar buddies in the sphincter klan.

        4. Erika

          You know, there is a difference between sensual and sexual, bigot. So men can take their shirts off without it being sexual, but women can’t enjoy the sun on your skin because you can’t keep your dick down? Sounds like male domination to me. Doesn’t your god believe all people are equal? Then why does he allow women to be oppressed and called whores when they want to enjoy the sun on your skin. A woman is trying to entice someone when they come up and stark kissing and REALLY flirting with them, not when they are wearing a halter top and shorts. I am sure that if the god from the bible that you believe in is out there, he is pretty disgusted with your words and actions.

          1. Matt

            It also amuses me how these christian fanatics talk about how if we do not wear clothing, it is sinful…. well shit… clothes is a relatively new idea for humans, so hell must all full up! and yes, it is a human idea, God did not tell people to wear clothing, it started out of necessity for warmth. I understand its pretty warm at burning man… rock on brothers and sisters, rock out with your cocks out!

    2. ''Drummed N' Bassed'' Junkie

      Hmmm, and what pre-tell would be your narrow-minded view of what a normal white male is? Honestly, i’m quite interested.

    3. Jess

      God made the dust and the earth it comes from…remember your bible teachings winkle. He also made man in His image including all those exposed orifices. He is a forgiving God and Jesus beckoned those un touched by sin to throw the first stone. We are all born with original sin just as we all collect a little dust on our travels through this challenge we call life. Jesus befriended and loved all outcasts so why are you hating on gay people when Jesus calls us to love everyone?

      1. Jess

        Jesus also made a cheep whore his right hand women Xenu. So you might want to walk in the path of Christ and embrace silence as the virtue you lack when you speak words of hate like you do…again the teaching about throwing the first stone. Wow for a religious feed Im feeling like a preacher to those claiming to want to save others when sounding like they need to be saved from the hate spewed on others. Does someone need a hug?

        1. Susan B. Xenu

          I assume your speaking of Mary Magdalene? She was NOT a prostitute the catholic church admitted years ago that they made that up

          1. Shannon

            Well I will admit I dont know much about the bible since I have never read it BUT every story I head says the she WAS a prostitute but yet he loved her anyway

          2. Jess

            Again Jesus embraced the social outcasts (including whores…and Im sure some of them where cheep) as a way of living his teaching that His Father was a FORGIVING God that loved EVERYONE. Why is that such a hard teaching to accept by those claiming to love God and want to save other people’s souls? Its one of the most basic teaching of Jesus. And thanks for the update. I wonder what the church had to gain by making up that the women Jesus chose as his disciple was a whore. How nice of them to finally clear that up.

          3. Susan B. Xenu

            Maybe you should read the bible before coming here and telling us what it say, when WE are the one that have read it.
            If you do read it you will find that nowhere does it mention her being a whorelot.

          4. Whorelot Mcwhorelstein

            I’m sorry Susuan…. Can we just go back to homosexual baby gravy? I mean, girl, you have a way with words!!! I want to be the first to suggest that you take a long hard look at the career of romance novel writing, baby gravy, sin hole…. I mean you could make MILLIONS of good christen dollars on laughing at the sinners, chastising the meek, and whatever other fun non-christIan anticts you and yours come up with on a Sunday afternoon.

            Oh, and the Catholic church admitted to making that up??? Can you please point me to the papal edict that says that exactly? Because I don’t recall Pope John Paul releasing that in his tenure as pope.

          5. st. pauly

            your right it was proven she wasn’t a whore. but this is just more proof of the anti woman culture that is your false interpretation of a beautiful message of love, kindness and, FORGIVENESS. At burning man or like festivals you would never hear the disgusting and hateful speach I have read in this article.

          6. Betty Major

            ***GASP***The church admitted to making things up to suit their own interests? That was sarcasm if you didn’t catch it. Catholic or not, many Christians display the kind of closed minded, fear mongering, judemental attitude that is diplayed by you and others on this thread. Not very Christian at all. If you live the work of God, you should not live in fear and negativity but in a state of peace and love. Stop judging others that you know nothing about and GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!!!!

    4. Lynn

      Oh darlin’ that dust will coat every orifice exposed or not. As for STDs and bodily coating one’s genitals with bodily fluids, well, that’s what condoms and lawsuits are for.

      And if anyone needs any better example of God-lovin’ (cause God-fearin’ is for those that forget that God made us in his image and loves each and everyone of us) in a situation like this. Well, after the man burned and a night of celebrating life commenced, the next morning I found me a massive statue of the virgin Mary (very traditional, exactly what I needed) and prayed for hours thanking the lord for the world he has made for us and the people he has chosen to fill it and all our quirks. I shall forever be grateful and praise him for giving me such a loving open family with a reunion that runs some 50k large each year (figuratively of course, cause we leave incest to y’all redneck god-fearin’ peeps).

    5. Lowrent the clown

      So… correct me if I’m wrong but are you suggesting that when my normal while male friend gets back from burning man, you want me to make him show me his penis. That’s not gay right?

    6. Christopher

      The Devil made dust huh?

      A quick internet search about Burning Man ( will quickly show you that this author did about 30 seconds of research before writing this article.

      Not to mention he got the place, number of participants, funding, and a myriad of other important facts incorrect. It leads me to believe that maybe everything in this article is true……but that the author is just incorrect about the name of the event. Maybe this weird satanic fecal-flinging orgy really does happen near vegas!

      But Burning Man happens near Reno- and it not sponsored by Hot Topic……so I’m pretty sure he’s confusing festivals….

      1. amy

        it’s religious satire. they’re making fun of relgious fanatics, not bm. have you ever heard of ‘the onion’ news?? similar..

    7. ThespiaSparrow

      Are you sure this doesn’t mean your gay? I think you get off when writing this stuff. To each his own bruddah.
      I found God at burning Man and I was told a secret that I’m going to share with you. We are all in this together, and all our gods are one in the same, we all just manifest it differently.

    1. Stephen

      Well, I’ve been going to this “sinfest” for the past 10 years, and I have not seen hardly a single thing mentioned in this article. Come to think of it, there is hardly a fact in that article that is correct–including the exaggerated number of attendees or it’s location. The only thing that IS correct is the large amount of dust.
      Another important note is that THIS FESTIVAL TAKES PLACE ON GOVERNMENT LAND! There are local, state and federal police here to see that any deviant activity that goes on here is condoned by our government!
      I have my tickets in hand, and will be there once again for that fun camping trip in the desert.

  2. Captain Obvious

    “So if you want to ride first class on hell’s 747 or have your body riddled with illnesses, hop in your car and drink from the devil’s pleasure cup. If you want to be bless with eternal life then band with us and say no to this false paradise of gang banging hussies and phallic exposing maestros.”

    Sounds like Slaanesh and Nurgle are screwing… (tehe WH40K ref.) I want in!

  3. Blanche Beecham

    What in the wide world will these scraps from Satan’s buffet think of next? STD parties? Do they dance the tertiary-stage stomp?

    1. Captain Obvious

      That was in the article. They already did that according to Tyson. You stupid bitch. Get back in the kitchen.

        1. Captain Obvious

          “STD parties”
          Do you need glasses, or were you more computer literate than I expected, and know javascript, and modify the webpage locally, and no, you don’t know what the hell I’m saying?

          1. dustysinsnake

            Learn some grammar before you try and bash someone else for using it improperly.

            See how I negated to end that sentence incorrectly with a question mark?

            For the record you’re both morons… and by “both”, I mean Capt. Obvious(ly retarded) and Tyson Bowers the third (and hopefully the last)

        2. Warren Hines

          You are a complete idiot… where did you get your facts. I think this is a website for Christians who are actually closet homosexuals based on all of the pictures of the writers here.

      1. Blanche Beecham

        Perhaps your Body Odor clouds your judgment. The second phrase: “Std Parties?” is not a response to the first question, but rather a second abbreviated question.

        Please shower and practice better hygiene prior to your next post.

        1. Captain Obvious

          I have a picture for that!

        2. Bobby

          Name calling again? What the hell is wrong with you people? It makes me shiver, knowing you hateful, finger pointing, humans exist. We are all people and deserve to be treated with respect. At the very least, just live this short time with our family and friends, without all this name calling, and horrid english….VOMIT

    2. ThespiaSparrow

      You can’t actually believe this? Oh you poor thing you’ve been brainwashed by the klu klux klan. Someone save her!

  4. ''Drummed N' Bassed'' Junkie

    Well, it sounds like someone went to Burning Man and didn’t get laid. Their’s always next year, Hier Bowers.

  5. Spryte

    Is this article for real? I’m laughing because i think it is fake… This is the most spiritual event i have ever been to, and yes although there might be some r-rated events going on here, It doesn’t mean you people can crap on our beautiful event. We burn this “fiery idol” because it means something different to each of us. For some of us, it is letting go of lost loved ones. If you people truly understood the REAL reasons behind this “anti-american and anti-moral” festival, then you wouldn’t be taking sh!! about it. Don’t say ANYTHING till you go and truly experience it yourself…

    1. Didgeri-don't


      You are right, it’s a joke. Just sit back and enjoy the banter of the people that don’t get it yet (Shannon). It’s fucking hilarious.

      1. Shannon

        Shit up ok, you dont know me I new as soon as I read the bullshit it was fake, so what I like to come on and argue with people, nothing wrong with that

  6. Spryte

    do unto others as you would do yourself…so please, say something horrible about yourself, and i’ll feel better

    1. ''Drummed N' Bassed'' Junkie

      Yea, just like the authors on this shitty website, its a fucking joke. But still, it does make you think, ”What kind of self-righteous asshats would find the time to write this idiotic banter?”

      Like many others before me have stated, ”Why don’t you try and write about topics people care about as opposed to pretending to give a fuck about issues that you CLEARLY no nothing about.”

      Go read for inspiration or maybe take a page from David Thorne’s book, at least he’s found a way to profit from being a Jerk.

      1. Retro

        Sounds like someone’s embarrassed that they went completely apeshit crazy over a beautiful piece of satire that they didn’t quite get. Back to Greeters for you, noob!

        1. dustysinsnake

          Everyone bagging on “noobs” for thinking the author is being serious should ease off it. It’s really not that surprising that people have such a hard time differentiating between satire and true extremism.

          Look up Poe’s Law…

  7. Spryte

    OKAY KIDS! now im fully aware, this article is complete BS! its fake! the author used to work at you guys still suck the big ones lol

        1. ''Drummed N' Bassed'' Junkie

          There is another site where fake conservatives regurgitate verbal diarrhea, I believe it’s called

        2. Arthur Graham

          Riiiight… And where do conservatives go for their made-up truths? Hmmmm… Need I even mention the Bible, McGraw-Hill textbooks, and virtually every major magazine/newspaper in the country? 😉

          P.S. If there is a Hell, you’d be MUCH more likely to run into Ronald Reagan there than anyone who ever got caught “tip toeing in the desert, hammering out male on male mouth sex acts” at Burning Man!

  8. Vince

    Whoever the hell wrote this is way… off base. I am the child of a minister and an evangelist. Nothing close to wth they are talking about goes down. “std parties” you have got to be fucking kidding me.

  9. randum

    has lady gagag ever been seen without gays? this whole music world has gone too far.. std in and out is evil

  10. enlightened burner

    So many assumptions and false truths… wasn’t there something in the bible about bearing false witness? Oh yeah, its one of the BIG 10! False Info Rundown:

    1. Its held in the Black Rock Desert outside of Reno… Not Blackhole Desert (is there such a desert?) outside of Las Vegas

    2. Its not sponsored by ANYONE! Thats would go against the principles of Burning Man, radical self-reliance and decommodification to be exact. Not to mention Hot Topic is owned by Gap… ugh…

    3. Fecal flinging? Really… who the hell wants to go to hot ass desert for a week to have literal shit thrown on them… that’s a level of messed up NO ONE at Burning Man would want!

    4. Burning Man has 122,500 to 182,805 visitors… really so specific down to the 805th person… In reality their last year was their record year with just over 60,000 people. So you’re off my a factor or 2-3!

    5. STD swap party? Once again… Really? Seriously? Are you kidding me? I mean who really is walking around on a daily basis thinking to themselves… ‘You know what I need to my day more perfect… another STD!’

    6.”Parties like these are what caused the black plague in England.” So a liar and now a fake historian. History Lesson: The Black Plague or medically known as the Bubonic Plague was transmitted by flees from infected rats due to unsanitary conditions in medieval cities… And the plague was historically traced back to Mongolia not a 12th century historic rave/satanic worship party.

    Now you’ll obviously notice that I didn’t mention all of your falsehoods concerning the devil worship and satanic orgy stuff because If I can’t convince you of actual historic FACT and TRUTH, how the hell am I going to change you opinion on those topics? Anyways as a loving and caring and respectful burner (yes we have those… how Christ-like!) I urge you follow Christ’s teachings and don’t slander something that you HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! Thank you!

      1. No one

        That was a very funny prank they played on Thunderdome! I’m glad there was some idiot out there who actually took it seriously – that just means the prank was that much better! hahahahaha!

        Perhaps in the spirit of “Know thyne enemy”, you should check their website for their cited data (much like they are all doing to get a good laugh from yours!):

        Don’t forget to check the event’s principles on decommodification, and you’ll see how this was clearly a prank.

        You can also then follow up by researching the BLM’s permit issued to them, and see the actual population limits and stipulations. I’ll leave it to you to figure out how to find that on

      2. Rayvn

        Bwahahahaha! that my friend would be thunderdome, an art installation of our former rival theme camp (whom we all love dearly) and as a prank in 2009 someone hand painted that sign and we helped hang it in the early morning. hats off to ya, that was a very nice, though uninformed, try. :p

      3. Christopher

        Awesome! I’m sure the ThunderDome freaking hates the fact that that picture is floating around the internet. LoL.

        That was one of my favorite parts of 2009.

        1. DGTDrep

          Death Guild Thunderdome approves of hilarious pranks, and take no issue with the publication and circulation of aforementioned prank. We support hijinks, shennanigans, and tomfoolery in all forms, including this article. That being said, sleep with one eye open. Two men enter, one man leaves.

    1. Leviticus 3:18

      What exactly does “enlightened burner” mean, anyways?

      Are you insinuating that, by taking a pass from your moral responsibilities so you can wander the desert pleasuring yourself, you have somehow reached some spiritual realization?

      Do you have any idea how devastating selfish, childish attitudes such are yours are to the global society?

      Do you think 6 billion people could act as you?

      Luckily, our Lord won’t tolerate it forever.

      1. Robby

        Kind of like those chosen people of god wandering the desert for 40 years huh? But I guess when you have no obligations you can afford to turn that week long burning festival and turn it into 40 years.

    2. Larry Harvey

      This poor man obviously has NO idea what he is talking aboout, please pay him no mind. Desert heat, dehydration and powerful drugs are a bad combination. Burningman is but a way-station on your trip to HELL in a handbasket.

        1. Fuckhound

          I fucked Larry Harvey at the last Burning Man, and his dog, it was a sweet monkey boy fecal fuck fest alright and Larry took it all, balls deep!

    3. John D

      Thank you “enlightened burner”!!
      As a 2010 attendee I could not begin to list the falsehoods in this “article”. I would say it is so far from the truth that it is 99.9% inaccurate.

  11. doug diddle

    This article is 1000% accurate. In the 7 times I have gone to the “Burning Man” with other christian evangelicals to rescue as many of God’s children from the Satanic “Caring Tents” and acid trip sweat lodges, I have witnessed the most abhorrent examples of abomination before God imaginable.

    Sodom and Gamorha had nothing on these hedonistic devil worshiping hippies. Sex, sex, sex, drugs, sex and drugs 24/7. No condoms allowed. The article leaves out the common practice of bestiality as everywhere you look someone is mounting or orally servicing a great dane, horse, donkey, sheep or monkey. I have hours of video I took to prove this, which also captures every imaginable perverted sex act. Men bugger men right in front of refreshment stands, while women are bent over trash cans while lines form at their rear.

    Drugs flow like milk and honey and are dirt cheap….purposely of the highest quality and potency. It is very easy to find yourself drugged by spiked lemonade and waking up face down in the Caring Tent with your meant only for outgoing expulsion hole filled with ingoing tent poles.

    We cannot let Satan win, so myself and a number of our crusaders will return again this year, despite the dangers.

    1. Jess

      Hello diddle,
      I do believe if your going to release any video of anyone you need their written permission. And about that NO CONDOMS ALLOWED thing…I remember hearing that that the Christian church was completely against all forms of birth control so for you to add that in sounds a bit out of place. I wonder how you KNOW the drugs are highly potent? You seem to speak from experience in regards to that “finding your self drugged and face down” business. Sorry if I was to rough on you but your coming back for more so I guess you liked it.

    2. Rayvn

      that’s funny, I’ve been attending BM since 2005 and I’ve never had sexual intercourse there. always been too afraid with all that sand I might grow a clam pearl. but i suppose other than myself and maybe your group members, I’m a rarity. in fact one might think i was christian or something, well that is if my patron deities weren’t isis and oden. what can i say i like to mix and match my beliefs, that way i don’t feel restricted and close minded. ah never mind, u couldn’t relate…

    3. Nightshade

      Wtf are you talking about? You obviously have not been there. Animals are not allowed on the playa. If you have been there then you would’ve known that. In fact there are strict laws about animals and outside plants due to waste and environmental reasons.

      Due to that I can honestly say that everything else that you just posted is complete and utter BS.

      As far as condoms go… I actually know there are places to go at burning man to get free condoms.

      1. Jude

        I think your the one not been there. if not for animals why they need animal control truck? and hes right about drug potencies. how else would carrots rebel against bunny?

      2. Retro

        Oh cmon… You haven’t ever been to Animal Pleasuring Camp? It’s right on the Esplanade fer chrissakes…

    4. Nightshade

      I forgot to mention that there are no trash cans at burning man because it’s a leave no trace event!!!

      Sorry if you don’t support an event that supports music and art. I loved how this article didn’t even mention the beautiful art that is displayed everywhere.

      Why don’t you flip through some the galleries and see what it’s really like:

      I can also say there is nothing factual about the article… the event is no where near vegas… in fact it’s 10 hrs away. The attendence is 50,000 people. There is no STD parties that you speak of. This article seems like a complete fabrication to try to paint Burning man as to being something that it is not. If you don’t want to go and don’t want people of your community to go then fine. However, you don’t need to lie about it.

      Doesn’t it say in the bible… thou shall not bear false witness? Practice what you preach.

      1. amy

        you all do realize this is a religious satire website, right? like the Onion news??? lol

        They’re making fun of religious groups and fanatics, NOT bm

      1. Joseph

        If I see you on the playa, mr doug diddle, I will force-feed you lots of drugs and rape you! Run bitch run!

    5. Fuckhound

      Can I have a copy of the footage? ….. bet you whack off to it regularly don’t you….come one… you can tell us …. Going back for more too, was it you that had your Lemonade spiked and woke up in ‘caring tent’? bet you spiked your own lemonade hoping to get your chocolate starfish eaten out to get rid of those stubborn bum nuggets!

  12. Umm hello?

    The bible is full of oxymoron’s that people like you only choose to take bits and pieces out of. Take marriage for example. It is mentioned in the bible about poly relationships, soldiers taking virgins as rewards for holy war. Rapists being able to marry their victims if they pay the father a certain amount…. and now you choose to say that this burning man is a STD festival. Why… because you are to stuck up to go and see how much of your article is BS?

  13. Kristina

    Wow…the amount of factual inaccuracies and grammatical errors…I just don’t even know where to begin.

    If you’re going to write a hate-filled, crap-tastic article, at least know the difference between “apart” and “a part”.

  14. Echo_Burn

    Burning Man has nothing to do with God or Satan or any other man-made mythical being. If you ever want to find a place where people are completely free from out stupid countries standards of living and close minded mentalities, come to Burning Man. People deserve self-expression, that is what this place is all about. You will never understand it because you are too damned close minded and judgemental to see the beauty.

    1. Leviticus 3:18

      Thankfully, you have already been judged. I just hope you don’t take too many innocents with you on your way out.

  15. x

    You’re a moron, and a poor writer. (Maybe take a lesson in grammar and punctuation before you write another article.) The hundreds of thousands of creative, beautiful souls that attend and have ever attended Burning Man are circulating your ridiculous blathering excuse for digital information widely across the internet. It has provided me, along with many of my friends, with an infinite stream of amusement and laughter. Thank you, you poor, sad old man.

  16. S.o.u.l.4

    It’s amazing how we all criticize one another claiming to know or have the truth. In this life I believe we all find our own truth in what ever it is that we see our search for. No need to undermine someone else to allow yourself to feel better or supreme, it’s all good.

  17. rideitout

    reading the comments i can’t help but think all the burners are roll playing christians and vice versa. can’t tell if it’s genuine or a spoof. at least all the important facts are reported accurately. burning man is terribly boring…too much dust…don’t do it. keep up the god work!

  18. IckyT2012

    Factual errors aside, this article has at least a dozen spelling and grammatical errors. Of course there are no references, they don’t even have the budget to hire an editor. If you want to have any hope of sounding legitimate, or convincing the general public that this absurd rant is plausible, you need to take 10 minutes and proof read your articles. Instead, you end up sounding like an angsty 13 year old blogger.

  19. enlightened burner

    I know… yeah this is some kinda troll website thing just to stir up fake rage or whatever… but I love debating, so I’m going to continue… just for the hell of it. Uh oh… I mentioned hell…

    Now on to the body of this post, I have noticed with the exception of Mr. Bowers misguided attempt to connect Burning Man to Hot Topic (thank you for that bit of info rayvn!), not a single dissenter has actually tried in earnest to refute a single one of my FACTS. Well I guess that’s why they’re called facts, but none the less I feel a need to address some of the responses to my post.

    This is for Leviticus 3:18, what does enlightened burner mean… good question. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary Enlightened is defined as 1. Having or showing a rational, modern, and well-informed outlook or 2. Spiritually aware. Now I don’t claim to be spiritually aware because there are many things in this world i’m not aware of (anyone else here just notice they’re heart beat?) let alone my entire spirituality. But on the other hand I do considered myself rational, modern, and well-informed (you get that from reading… stuff other than the bible). That is why I used facts and logical thinking that follows a series of causalities and events. As for the second part well a Burner is the colloquial reference to those who attend “Burns” as there are several Burning Man styled events all over the world. Actually I think I just missed the one in Spain this weekend (Dammit!).

    I would respond to Larry Harvey but considering he had nothing to say except for deriding me… I’ll chose to be the better man (or woman) and not slander my fellow human being… Oops, Im being Christ-like again…

    Next onto Doug Diddle, how can you be 1000% correct? Is that like a 200% rise in the stock market. Last I checked you couldn’t logically be more that 100% correct. Actually, I figured it out… Its like multiplying negative numbers, so 200% correct would actually be incorrect and so on… As for the Sodom and Gamorha reference, well last time I went to a burn the holiest amongst us never offered up his daughters to be raped by a crowd… In fact IF that happened, we’d kick that asshole out of the party! To PROVE you have never been to a Burning Man let me pull a quote from you, “while women are bent over trash cans while lines form at their rear.” Now this CAN’T possible happen because there ARE NO TRASH CANS at Burning Man, hence another of the principles: Leave No Trace. In essence we are all responsible for all the trash and garbage we create so we all have to pick up after ourselves (what kind of hippy BS is that?). Basically NO TRASHCANS… no women to bend over them! As for the drugs flow like milk and honey reference (nice Rosh Hashanah reference… dammit this guy (or gal) knows religion… FUCK!), have you ever seen honey flow? Its really, really slow and once again no one wants to bring milk out to the desert (Anchorman anyone… Milk was a bad idea!)

    Now to any logical debater, you’ll realized I didn’t really respond to that comment, cause I just wanted to use some of their tactics on them, but there is a sizable majority of Burners who choose to abstain from drugs, as for the rest… its their damn bodies and what they want to do with them is fine by me. Oh there I go being Christ-like again and respecting the ideas and choices of others… Dammit!

    1. Leviticus 3:18

      Your moral ambiguity may get you laid in college, but it won’t spare you in the coming of the Lord. Listen to you: “I don’t claim to be aware because there are many things in this world I am not aware of.”

      A man knows what he knows, and he knows right from wrong if he listens to the voice of Jesus Christ inside himself.

      1. Robby

        A man knows what he thinks he knows, until a smarter man shows him that he should have actually stayed in the 6th grade and progressed past grade school instead of trusting God to get him through his life.

  20. Val

    Hahahahaha! Wowie~! I just try to remember that Christianity is a plague of power and I hope and pray sincerely everyday that it is eradicated from this Earth, and from all memory of existence. Spirituality is powerful. Religion is stupid. Your dead God on a stick is just a story. You are all just apes floating in space with over-sized frontal lobes. Enjoy your lives of fear. For at the end your judgements, and philosophies will be buried with you. I am MORE than happy to experience my life. This word “experience” would have been taught to you as “sin”. As little tiny children your parents sold you into a fear factory called hell to make you behave, but you still haven’t grown up. The fear inside you has gotten larger and now you teach this barbarism to children yourself. Quit telling yourselves that you know whats going on here for a fact. You don’t. No one does.

    1. Leviticus 3:18

      I know for a fact that Jesus has judged you Burning Men. We don’t need to judge you further. Enjoy your STD.

      1. Pamela

        For the record, I brought and shared condoms… Didn’t have the pleasure of fucking anyone myself. I did get some warm cuddles from a transvestite on a pillow top trampoline tent however.

  21. Amanda

    Wow, you Christians have much more imagination than we sinners. I’m a four-time Burning Man attendee, and I haven’t seen anything at all like what you describe, and, frankly, this all sounds like the paranoid ramblings of a person with extreme sexual Issues. Yes, there are scantily clad people (the photos appear to be real), and there is sex, and there are people in altered states, but really, it’s not nearly as exciting and depraved as you would, for some reason, like to believe. Dream on, my friends. But keep it to yourselves — when you start trying to make policy based on your bizarre imaginings, that’s when you make people really mad. Tho’, come to think of it, you don’t really have to worry about that, do you? — because we are a lot more tolerant of other people’s personal choices than you are.

    1. Leviticus 3:18

      Milksack milksack milksack.

      The 11th principle: Radical Show Us Your Fuckin’ Milk Sacks.

      …I count five, so far.

  22. Razor

    You are so right and would not want to go to burningman. It would be horrible for you. Keep pointing your finger and judge like it says you should.

  23. Susan

    This is ridiculous. What great “Christians” you all are, living just like Christ. I’ve never seen so much hate and name calling in my life. I hope you burn in hell with all of the people you deem “sinners” Tyson Bowers III; because quite frankly, you’re setting the same example. No one deserves to be treated with such disrespect: “What Would Jesus Do”

  24. Me

    THERE IS NO GOD!! There are no godesses, there are no demons and there are no devils, THERE ARE small-minded simple people who live in fear of being ‘struck down’ by some magical mythical ‘being’who has enough resources to track SIX BILLION people simultaneously. GET A FUCKING LIFE PEOPLE AND SMELL THE ROSES! you”ll be glad you did. If you still believe in a god you are dellusional and should seek psychiatric help immediately!

    1. And why should my name be "required"?

      Actually, there must be demons. I still have faith in humankind, so I just can’t believe a human could be evil enough to write the poison that fills this site.

      If you know of something evil enough other than demons, please let me know.

  25. Me

    ‘YOU PEOPLE’ make me SICK, and before I start I am not gay and I’m not homophobic. YET you worship a man who lived with twelve other men, who never got married, never had sex (as far as we know)and who told peter he loved him, yet you rant and rave against gays and lesbians because they live with same sex adults and don’t procreate!

  26. Miss violet

    Apart from slathering your judgmental language over something you don’t understand, what most upsets me is that you think that midgets shouldn’t be allowed to dress in clown costumes.

    What’s wrong with a little person in a clown costume? Or are you afraid of little clowns?

  27. enlightened burner

    @Leviticus 3:18, First off when you quote me… don’t edit my quote… then its no longer a quote. I said I don’t claim to be SPIRITUALLY aware, which I’m not. I feel spiritual on a sort of random basis, it comes and goes depending on this situation because its impossible to always be cognizant of your spiritual self, otherwise it wouldn’t be something special. Now as for knowing what a man knows, I prefer to defer to a higher wisdom than myself… Socrates, “True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” You see that’s my whole deal… I preach the gospel of I don’t know, because I know that you don’t know either, and you aren’t imbued with some special power that I am not. And if you really do think that god IS talking to you… you don’t need a church, you need a psychiatric clinic.

    And as a quick footnote… I graduated from college several years ago, and I didn’t need moral ambiguity (or in your case, presumed righteousness) to get laid, charm, intelligence, and being damn cute was all I needed.

  28. Cam

    I find your understand of the English language, history, religion and disease appalling.

    “Parties like these are what caused the black plague in England. Unmoral, non-God loving drunks would have multiple sex insertion sessions with unwashed privates parts from multiple people and would spread sickness across the lands. If we don’t stop this, America will be facing the same low t-cell count destiny.”

    WOW! Zoonotic disease through sex, that’s impressive. You are a humiliation to the Christian faith.

  29. Edward

    Is this website real? No way the author knows this without being there. I question this entire “Burningman” anyone can make a website and then write a story about it to get more readers.

  30. N.

    amazing and sad to see that the stereotype of racist, homophobic, sexist people exists to it’s full extent. you people are the most primitive people I’ve ever ran across (and the internet has quite some primitive people to compete against). I am very sorry for you guys and all the people around you whom you’ve offended, whom you probably educated to hate, and influenced to be like you. I wish I could help you in some way but it seems like a lost case.

  31. James Bukowski

    First off i have been attending burning man for years. It is not just north of Las Vegas it is Just north of Reno, in northern Nevada. About an 11 hour drive from Las Vegas. I am American and i not Christian. I have that right to believe what ever i want. I love burning man. See you in hell.

  32. tigre

    this shit is hilarious. thanks for the giggles everyone.

    “Poe’s Law is an axiom suggesting that it’s difficult to distinguish between parodies of religious fundamentalism (or, more generally, parodies of any crackpot or extremist belief) and genuine proponents of religious fundamentalism, since they both seem equally insane. Conversely, real fundamentalism can easily be mistaken for a parody of fundamentalism.”

    see you all on playa this year! whoo!

    1. Retro

      So nice to see a fellow burner with a better appreciation for satire. Poe’s Law indeed.
      Some of these posters need to be plopped into Burning Man 1995 or ’96 to experience more of the Cacophony Society-isms that made the event such a mindfuck.


  33. Creature Comfort

    If you want to read an example of a more well written and equally as absurd article about this same topic…this guy beat you to it 11 years ago.

    You apparently are unaware of the Christian presence at the festival.

    Real Christians are bastions of Peace and Harbingers of the Good Word.

    Get your facts straight and stop spreading dirty words and smut all over the internet where anyone, including children can read it.

    1. Creature Comfort

      My apologies for not stating earlier, the above message is meant for the author of this article.

    2. Retro

      Yes, by all means… stop with the SMUT. It’s YOUR fault, Tyson! And the dirty words!! The Internets would be crystal clean if it weren’t for your SMUT DIRT WORDS!

  34. tyson bowers the 2nd

    tyson bowers, you are the sorriest human being i have ever seen and i go to burning man as much as possible, aaaaaaaaand i visited the “sin holes” of 2 of the women in the 1st pic and came back with nothing but a shiny christ pole.
    Come out of the closet, stop hating urself, go to burning man and enjoy the cutest guy u can find, we’ll all like u more.

  35. Brian

    Um….so wrong. I’ve been to burning man, and it is nothing like that. I dont know what sick twisted fetish dream of yours you thought up an “STD Party”, but thats clearly just something you fantasize about, because they dont happen. I cant even possibly put into words how wrong this whole article is, but ill try to do it later after I stop laughing

  36. Brent

    Ha ha, holy shit these religious freaks are retarded. Nice 6th grade writing level there. But at least by not educating yourself you didn’t have to be exposed to all the crazy sinners and sin holes at school.

  37. st. pauly

    oh wow you guys got me good this time. you guys this is pure satire at it’s best. Tyson Bowers if that is your real name you are a genius my friend.

  38. Jerry

    Seriously whoever promotes all these lies. PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR AND GET HIT BY A BUS. God DOESNT promote liars. Please get your facts straight homophobe.

  39. Joe Nelson

    You are the best sales man ever! On to the coke and Sex burning man Afterparty…ill see you there you closet hooker and drug abusing coward

  40. Lost Penger

    What? Now I have to take books to the burn? That’s just more crap to haul in, and just think of the MOOP if we burn them. I would have attached a pic of the 2008 temple, which was incredibly beautiful, but the interface here is dysfunctional, just like the site owner.

  41. burning prophet of perfection

    this makes me want to go, as a good christian i have sworn on the bible, to enjoy my life, and this tells me to the lord provides……oh the sweet sweet provisions……….

  42. Jo

    well isn’t this our own little trollfest how bout we all write a bs article about the burn and see who can invent the most comically outrageous euphemisms while still convincing the sheeple that we’re on their side.

  43. 10 Years As A Burner!

    This is some of the worst writing I have ever read! Besides the holier-than-though, prude, Old Testamant jivea ss dogma spewing, the “writer” makes many grammatical errors, did not do any fact-checking and clearly assumes that his god has elected him to pass judgement on others. LOL
    The “writer” makes it obvious in the first few words that he has not ever been to Burning Man and his editor just fluffed up(a fluffer?) the piece with BM stock photos borrowed or stolen(a sin) from Burner blog pages or Squid List…
    It would take me 2,000 more words to pint out the many mistakes, but I’ll just list a few instead.
    1. Burning Man is not in Las Vegas or north Las Vegas, I think the “writer” got Las Vegas confused with the state’s name: Nevada.
    2. The festival takes place in the Black Rock Desert, not the “Blackhole Desert”
    3. The event is not sponsored by Hot Topic. The fest is mostly financed by advance ticket sales, you tool!
    4. The sex & drugs element of Burning Man festival is the stereotype. Sure, there’s nudity there, but it’s only about 9% of the population of the festival, you freakin’ dork!
    5. The festival has less than 65,000 people at it, not the “writer’s” huge numbers was clearly inflated and a lie. he did that to exaggerate and win some followers(sin on, brother!).
    6. When I got to the 19th or 20th time the “writer” mentioned graphic sex things, and phrases like “sin snake” and “milk sacks” I realized that this is one of those perverted people who hide behind their vocabulary, stating that it’s real journalism, , blah, blah. Kinda like the winos who hang out at wine bars and tasting room to pretend they are into the wine as an aesthetic, when they are really there to keep their world spinning.
    7. The music heard in some of the camps is called drum and bass, not “drum and based”.
    I can just imagine the writer and his ediotr wanking madly as they proof-read this story. Kinda like the TV preachers that preach against adultery, homosexuality and drugs, but then we see them in the news: cheating on their wives, having a boy toy on the side and snorting blow while they blow…
    I can;t believe a jesus-faith based website would actually publish this jackoff’s porn-like story, loosely based on a festival he has niether attended nor knows much about. This is evident in his failure to mention the impressive art at BM, and that it is one of the premiere festivals in the world for site-specific sculptures.
    I’ll end with a note to the “writer”: Hey man-boy, Pease let me buy you a ticket to BM 2011. I’ll take you to Jiffy Lube, Body Wash and Spank You Very Much camps so you can finally own up to your latent persona and start to have more fun in life.
    Until then, bugger off you false profit wanker!

  44. GHIL

    I’ve never seen anyone enjoy an STD as much as these people in the pictures… everyone loves having the playa virus.

  45. Amandala

    Actually… RATS spread the plague. Rats and fleas. And poverty, malnutrition and lack of access to anything resembling hygiene.

    But mostly RATS.

  46. Sunshine

    This is laughable!!!! Man the most frightening thing to me is that this follower of a zombie and an arrogant god is actually a real person. That’s horrifying.

    1. Sunshine

      You also need to learn how to edit your article. It’s called proof reading. You lose all credibility when you say things like “The whore women are asked to weird the most outlandish outfits and to make sure that woman have their milk sacks exposed or to at least have moist camel hump noticeable in the tight shorts.” That doesn’t make sense. Learn how to write, then come back to me with a compelling argument, not an obviously overly biased string of bull shit.

  47. James

    Leave it to some ignorant, closed minded, judgmental Christian moron to slap a completely unrealistic stigma on Burning Man. I’ve been 3 years and not once have I taken drugs or had sex while on the Playa. Obviously this idiot has never been there or he’d know that there are Christian based camps that establish out in Black Rock City Nevada, 3 hours North East of Reno NOT in Las Vegas. The festival is about unity and consciousness, some ideals that Christians and other organized religions hypocritically pretend that they uphold. Judgements aren’t meant to be held by some idiot who has absolutely no idea what he is talking about. This article is NOT factual, poorly written, and provides no evidence to support any of his points other than a bunch of ignorant bible thumping mumbo jumbo. Burning Man is a collective of some of the best art in the world and those whores and devil men this idiot speaks of, are more welcoming, helpful, less judgemental, care more about people, the planet, and EVERYTHING in it a thousandfold the times any give Christian cares about anything. Jesus was an understanding and utterly righteous man, he would be absolutely offended, and sorely disappointed in modern day Christianity. They do NOT uphold ANY of the same beliefs as Christ. I’m not saying there isn’t sex and plenty of drugs in Black Rock, but you wont find what you aren’t looking for, and I don’t think you have room to say fu<k all if you've never been there before. Get facts before you spout off a bunch of stupid babble bible man. God Bless :)

  48. C.J.

    Wow! For all of us non-crazy people… who love burning man… know full well that these people are ignorant. Although, If all you burners are the people I know, you understand the ability to choose. Let these people choose to be ignorant, and remember that we have the power to choose to not let their crap bother us.

    As for Christian Bible thump-ers…. All I have to say is this.. God created Adam and Eve, and they had to son’s Cain and Able, and Cain and Able took wives…. WHERE did these Mystery bitches come from??? The start of you dear Bible doesn’t even make sense. SO – keep your damn opinions to yourself…. just like everyone else!!!!

  49. English Major

    Wow… I didn’t know that God wanted his children to be uneducated folks, incapable of doing proper research and using correct terminology (and spelling) in order to spread his words.

    Let’s see, an ART FESTIVAL in the desert (look it up folks, more art and creativity at the Burn than any 5 other ‘festivals’ religious or not you can name.

    Drummed and Based Music (I love this) it’s actually Drum and Bass referring to the style of music being played predominantly comprised of Drum tracks and low Bass ambiance to make a more complex dance rhythm. And if singing and dancing is such a sin… Why do you do it in Churches across the world? Oh yes, it’s because of this:

    Chronicles 29:28
    The whole assembly bowed in worship, while the singers sang and the trumpeters played. All this continued until the sacrifice of the burnt offering was completed.

    Hmmm, a burnt offering? Singing, dancing, has to be the work of the Devil in modern religion.

    And of course let’s not forget man’s mortal sin of NUDITY! Oh wait, that isn’t a sin (no where in the bible is it labelled as such) in fact the “evil of nudity” only came about do to man eating from the Tree of Knowledge and understanding what nudity is. Animals are nude from beginning to end of life (sorry kids, clothing is an externally applied covering to your natural exterior) guess that blows that away.

    And for all of the ‘devil dust’ lines, phrases and attacks. Its Alkaline dust, so if you think its evil on the Playa, better stop using batteries now before God Smites you down for hypocrisy.

    If you wish to ever be taken seriously, drop the fear and hate tactics, learn to spell, and acquire some basic skills in good grammar.

    ps – What if the third youngest religion on the planet is wrong? Yes folks, Christianity as a whole is the 3rd youngest kid on the block… Must be ‘little man’ syndrome.

  50. Dr. Glenn King

    As an Episcopalian who has attended Burning Man, I can tell everyone here that almost everything in the article is a distortion or an outright lie. Perhaps the most egregious is the characterization of the burning man as an “idol.” The legend told at the festival is that the custom began with a bitter man who burned his ex-wife in effigy. Not nice, but hardly an idol.

  51. Glenn

    Wow, it’s amazing how many people do not realize this site is satire. Like The Onion? Steven Colbert? …

  52. Uma Mahi

    The author seems to have very in-depth experience of Burning Man and what occurs there. Do they really eat babies, sacrifice animals and throw feces at each other there? You say they are sponsored by Hot Topic. Who is Hot Topic? And who is Dirty-Shirty? What is a baby hole or a moist camel hump?

    The things described sound really perverted and I don’t know what what on earth the author is talking about. Should I watch downloadable.avi porn to find out? If not, why is the author making such horrid statements in public?

  53. Joseph

    Are you insane? Do people actually read your crazy propaganda? This article is a shining example of why the religious right will never be taken seriously. Have you been to Burning Man? Your description of this festival is sooo inaccurate, sensationalized and simply laughable, you should be a writer for the National Enquirer. You are a joke, and your website is a joke, and what you and your cultis friends will never realize is that about 80% of the american public would agree with my sentiments. Wake up.

  54. Gia

    This is the most absurd thing I have ever read. Could you site your sources?? STD parties? Give me a break. Its ignorance like this that hate crimes and wars originate. I thought Christians were suppose to love everyone and teach acceptance and forgiveness? All you are teaching is HATE.

    I have never seen or heard of bible-burning at Burning Man. One of the principles of the Burning Man culture is “radical inclusion”, meaning we accept everyone for who they are. Maybe you should try it sometime.

  55. jimbo

    This guys a joke, just a whole bunch of bull shit, what is this nonsense “Coachella Festival Will Now Be Two Weekends of Man Butt Horseplay and Heroin Drugs” Tyson bowers III. So tyson what kind of drugs are you using, because what ever your on they must be off the wall man. Did christ give them to you, because i halve heard he’s got the good shit. I found a little photo of your best friend i thought i would share it with you tyson.[img][/img]

  56. Lame - o

    What a stupid question, could you please paint with broader strokes? I am embarrassed to think that I use to be a Christian. Not to worry God with judge them accordingly.

  57. FuckBunnie MacFearless

    *gasp* BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *wipes tears from eyes*

    Ohmigosh… My sides hurt from laughing so hard from the hilarity of it all.

    I haz my Golden Ticket to ride, I’m going HOME! see the rest of you dust bunnies there<3

  58. FuckBunnie MacFearless

    *gasp* BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *wipes tears from eyes*

    Ohmigosh… My sides hurt from laughing so hard from the hilarity of it all.

    I haz my Golden Ticket to ride, I’m going HOME! see the rest of you dust bunnies there!


  59. Alison Hardy

    The Burning of the Man was actually brought into effect cause some friends got together years ago to help a sad friend. They built a wooden man on a beach to burn away the last years problems. Wether it be money, past loves, or lost friends, they took this time to burn it away and move on to the next year and stage of their lives. It became something that 50,000 people now do every year. It is not in satanic ritual. It has become as big as it is because people all over the world understand and have the same reason to attend… they want to forget about life and it’s trials, if only for a week, to keep themselves sane. They can let go of pain, let go of turmoil and move on with their lives. I went there last year to let my family go. I lost them years ago, and have tried EVERY religion to find faith in something. I found Buddhism. I also found Burning Man. I took my entire family’s ashes there to put into the temple, I sat and watched it burn in silence and cried. Letting go of things that have hindered me and my spirit for years. The energy I felt when this was happening was renewal. I love my family and I will live on for them knowing I WILL see them again. I WILL connect with them again. Never once did I fuck someone with AIDS or fornicate with anyone for that matter. Sex was the LAST thing on my mind. I was there, and will go for the rest of my life, for self renewal and spiritual awakening. I, as well, do all this during the year, but it’s nice to have a place to go and feel like you are not the only one who feels this way. Wether you have a religion or not, you can feel at Home at Burning Man. I have seen every type of person there from the sober to the drunk. From the sad to the happy. Ones with demons and ones who are angels. No matter what you believe or who you are you are Home. No one judges out there. No one points out flaws. No one pushes religion. No one makes you do anything you don’t want to do. I never walked around naked, that’s not my thing… but if that guy wants to do it… let him. He is FREE. I never once thought of it as a satanic party, all I saw was beautiful spirits walking around enjoying the simplicity of the wind on their back the dust in their tent and music from everywhere, never caring for one second about life outside today….. when does that ever get to happen? Never. Our lives are so consumed with religion, the 9-5, bills, kids, payments, endless stresses that are now life, make people depressed which make doctors make medicine to make you better which in turn makes you sick in another way….. there is no enjoyment to life anymore. No time to breath, no time to say thanks…. it’s always go go go go go…… Burning Man is a time to not have a clock. Not have someone telling you your late or your fired, be here, do that….. no rules, no government. Everyone works together to make the city go. We all put in an effort to give while we take the one thing religion, humans and government have taken away…. and that is the feeling of complete control over yourself and what you want to do. I have never eaten a baby, in fact I am a nanny and VERY good at it. Kids love me. I think that is because I have my third eye open, I see what people don’t want adults to see. I can sit and talk with a child and see there imagination rome…. I think they are lucky. That is until people like you close this vision and make them grow up to be slave for a government who is doing nothing for their people. And will never do anything for their people. It is a sad lie of a world we live in and you are the perfect example as to why it has gotten out of hand. Go read your bible and believe go will save you…. my god has already saved me.

    1. madglory

      Wow. I am wiping the tears from eyes. Well said, Alison. You nailed it. Thank you. Burningman is the single greatest week on planet earth. And it is Home.

  60. Bella

    After reading this I feel completely justified in leaving this “religion”. For a group of people who continuously shout out how they are God fearing and God worshiping – they sure do forget one of the MAIN things God stated. Christianity is based on Love – at least that’s what they try and teach all the little children. But as soon as something different comes along – it’s evil and devil worship.

  61. Jeremy

    This writer of this article has zero credibility when they can’t get the most basic of facts straight. Like the event is held just outside of Las Vegas. The fact is that is a closer drive to Salt Lake City and they could’ve easily wrote that it was held outside of Salt Lake City and run by Polygamist Mormoms and both statements would be just as false.

  62. Wriston S. Nicholas

    I went to Burning man last year and let me tell you, Black Rock City? How about Sick Rape City. THeres no place to sleep that doesn’t get covered in shit by nasty neo-hippies. I was lucky that I brought lots of isopropyl alcohol to kill the bacteria. My BEST FRIEND got HIV from the porta-potty. I tried to read Leviticus through megaphone to the blood lactating whores and elementry school rapeists at the “Feast a L’Ucifer’ as they called one party near the center of the city. but I was so disgusted when three old men took a nigger baby out of a swealtering car and filled it with needles untill is vomited- signiling all the menbers of the cult to begin vomiting and taking off their clothed. THERE IS NOT HOOPE FOR THESE VILE SINNERS SAVE YOUR FAMILIES! I WAS LUCKY TO GET OUT ALIVE ANDD I THINK THEY FFREED THE DEVIL AND MORE PLANS ARE IN THE WORKS.

    1. al

      If this is what YOU saw at Burning Man then you have demons haunting you for something you did in a past life…. only bad visions come to bad people, I NEVER SAW ANYTHING OF THE SORTS OUT THERE! You need to save yourself from yourself. Pretty sure religion is what killed you.

        1. Wriston S. Nicholas

          Al was there and he tried to rape me! anddeficated on my camera that i was using to document the whores of babylon! It was a good thing i had my trusty “Jesus Saves” plasma tazer baton or i may have been sodomised and boiled alive in piss and sand for eternity like you! “AL” if that is your real name.. DEVIL!

  63. DavidRx


    If it’s real it’s hilarious and if it’s a spoof it’s hilarious!

    I’m going to recommend it to all my friends! John Stewart from the Daily Show must be one of the writers.

  64. Lance

    Hilarious! Thank you Tyson for this comical account. You had myself and the rest of my Burner friend in hysterics. Obviously this must be satire. Any well rounded, educated member of the community could never believe such nonsense. As a five year veteran to the Burn I will tell you that one of the main reasons I go it to reconnect with God. A place where true beauty and spirit lives, free from the every day constrains that rat race can place on us all. Whilst there are sex and drugs out there to a lesser extent, it is not the norm and the above account (obviously written by some one who has never been) is so far removed from the truth that I could not restrain from laughing out loud when reading it (again, thank you Tyson, I needed a good chuckle…)
    Burning man is a gifting community where money and commerce go out the window. For one week in the desert near Reno (not Vegas) you can come and share, laugh, dance and be reminded of what is it to be human.
    We could all use a little bit of Burning Man in our lives…..

  65. Mary Kay Brenda

    I have read most of these comments, skipping the “LOL”, mimicking and mocking of what some are sharing, justifying and sharing. I love how it takes one person to make a statement, another to comment, and the process repeat itself until you have a topic a bunch of people are arguing, bickering and going on and on about what is right and what is wrong.
    People, all of you………What many choose to engage in that you do not, does not affect you should not matter to you. Those of you who engage in something that you agree to engage in and is of your own choosing should not affect someone who chooses not to and that is why I do not understand why so many have something to say about something that doesn’t pertain to them.

    I like to know why so many people think what others do that only affect those doing it, feel so strongly that “they” the bystanders have the “god-given right” to judge someone who self expresses? As small children when we learned about god were told “he” or for some “she” does not judge? So why do you think you have this “god-give” right to judge people who so something you would not?

    I think if it feels good, it self medicates, self heels and makes someone or many feel better, and it hurts no one, then those who choose to not engage in whatever it is none of your business and does not affect you and you need to be quiet.

    As far as STD’s WEAR CONDOMS people……….and you will stop a good portion of them from happening and you will stop a good porting of them infecting others………


    Thanks for playing

  66. chris

    This guy has got it all wrong. He is a Fucking stereotyper who should not deserve his job as a reporter until he knows how to get his facts right. Idiot, you just made yourself look stupid.

  67. Donald L Macleay

    Was this an Onion parody of the Christian Right?

    I have never seen this site before, and wonder if the people responding have not gotten the April Fools joke.

    If you really believe this version of Burning Man, I feel sorry for you.

  68. PeaceLoveHappiness

    It amazes me at this day and age such ignorance still exists…
    I wonder if the author of this article has ever been to Burning Man? I’m sure NOT.
    So instead of making things up Tyson Bowers why don’t you go experience it and then write a worthy article of putting your name on.

  69. Taylor Dale Branch

    I’m sold 😉
    Just bought my ticket, sounds like loads of fun.
    This year is ‘rights of passage’, must mean im welcomed into hell XD

    I would rather party in hell than serve in heaven.

  70. Lin

    Wow, your fact-checkers are the most consistent I’ve ever seen! They got *nothing* right! Uh, well, it *is* in the desert.

    1. Not sponsored by Hot Topic. Silly boys, it’s sponsored by the fake-fur manufacturers.

    2. We max out at about 50,000 people these years.

    3. What *is* “drug male sin docking”? If I knew what it was, I might like to try it.

    4. What makes a drum beat Satanic? 3/4 time? Or are we talking, like, some bizarre Dave Brubeck 9/8 rhythm? I know that stuff messes me up every time!

    5. I don’t hate god. I get chronically annoyed by adults who seem unable to give up their invisible friends, particularly when they put so much energy arguing about how their invisible friends are better than anyone else’s invisible friends. But that’s not hardly the same thing.

    6. Lastly. That STD party thing? You guys slay me. What imaginations. I’m an old-time sci-fi fan and I’ve never seen one as good as that.

    And Taylor? Drop by our camp on–I think–Tuesday night–we’re having a pizza party. (And for the paranoid nutrolls out there, that means we’re heating up cheese and other toppings on a flatbread crust, and sharing it with lots of friends. It isn’t code for slaughtering chickens and then gargling with Satanic Brand Yogurt. See? I can’t even come up with anything nearly as bizarre-sounding as your article, and I’ve been to BM three times!) We’ll be at 8:25 or so on B. Look for the sign–it says, “Pizza”.

    1. Entheo

      Hot pizza in the desert? Sounds amazing! I’ll have to swing by. Stop by my home for Ice Cream, every afternoon. we should be really close to you, around 8:45 – 9 and Esplanade. <3

      1. Lin

        You betcha, hot pizza. Bring ice cream and we’ll top it with our homemade cherry liqueur! See you in the dust!

    2. Sir Laffalot

      Even more unbelievable than arguing about whose invisible friend is better, is killing people because they associate with the wrong invisible friends. It’s pretty common for the ignorant sort that write, read and believe the above genre of article.

      I wonder if that Reverend Custer guy knows that we all descended from Africans? Nyah, that’s too much like actual facts, and facts are secondary when it comes to screwing the uneducated out of their money or raping their little boys.

      1. Lin

        If you can’t be important and powerful because you are smart, skilled, talented or capable, then you tell people that you are important because your invisible friend is cooler than theirs. You know, like small-dog syndrome.

    3. Wriston S. Nicholas

      Drug Male Sin Docking is a hideous sex act in which two or more men tear the penis off a prisoner and mulitpenetrate the new orifice using cactus points and blood as lube.

  71. Josh Robinson

    HAhahaha this website is ridiculous & this article is very one sided from a person who is obviously obsessed with god and religion.I bet you guys also thought the world was going to end a few weeks ago predicted by that old retard… (who is a genius for be a powerful public speaker to get retarded people to give up there possessions to him! hahaha) FUCKING MISINFORMED FOOLS! Go the the event and live life while having fun and being responsible. Don’t judge all OF US for the few who’s actions are extreme actions!!!!.. If we all did and have this view point on all topics, then what would peoples out look on religion be in 2011?!?!? PLEASEEEE

    1. AverySays

      Why would you possibly expect anything less than one-sidedness from a website called “Christwire”, with a tagline of “Conservative Values for an Unsaved World”?

      Before you go around casting aspersions on the intelligence of these delusional sheep, get yourself a basic education. Pay special attention in English class – your comment makes you appear to be an idiot.

  72. AverySays

    Advice to the “author” of this post:

    English class

    “…making sex sessions…”
    “…bubble bees…”

  73. Entheo

    Sponsored by Hot Topic? False. There are no ‘sponsors’ at Burning Man. It goes against everything that beautiful place stands for.

    Burn bibles? The only bibles I have seen at Burning Man were the ones at a Sunday church service. And the ones being held by a group of Chrisian Gospel Singers. Both were incredible experiences.

    Blackhole Desert? The amazing area where the festival is held, is called the Black ROCK Desert.

    122,500 to 182,805?? Last year Burning Man saw the highest attendace in its history of 51,454 people

    STD Party? Come on, really? This one is just sad…

    I am a ‘Christian’ and I am also a ‘Burner’. I work at a Christian outdoor adventure camp in the summers. The people I work with there I only get to see 1 time every year. Last year when I arrived I was so excited to see my ‘Christian Family’. Every single person except for two treated me like I had the plague when I went to hug them. If I were to meet Jesus I highly doubt he would give me that akward chrisian side hug. However, going back to Burning Man every year is a completely different story. My ‘Burner Family’ will embrace me and hold on for dear life, that is one of the best feelings in the world. Not only do they show love the way it should be done, but almost every single person in this ‘Satanic sin filled place’ will treat you like you are one of their own.

  74. CrashFistfight


    This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. I don’t know what a “bubble bee” is, but I’m sure I want to fuck it. I will also heretofore refer to all sexual acts as ‘Sin Docking’.

    Kudos to you, ignoramus, for making my day.

  75. Uncle Satan

    This is by far the best description of Burning Man I have ever read. I have gone for 15 years and always struggle with the words to describe it to those who have never gone. Thank you for such an accurate synopsis that I can now use to describe what a great time we have in the desert.

  76. Coolbasa

    You guys are all so funny. You believe all this $hit like it’s fact, and then you write and write and write and write. It’s comical to the sane lot of us…

    The sad truth is that you believe what you believe because the idiots before you told you to do so. There is absolutely NOTHING factual about christianity…at all…get over it and realize that you’re just another organism on the earth…just a little, and I emphasize little, bit smarter.

  77. Harold Camping

    This is a factual acount of Burning Man.

    I have seen the milk sacks exposed and the many moist camel humps showing through the tight shorts.

    Repent before October 31st.

    1. Christine Coutu

      Don’t you think that referring to breasts as “milk sacks” and the vaginal area covered in clothing as “moist camel humps” says more about your sexual fantasies than it does about anyting else? You are not well, Sir.

    2. Christine Coutu

      In fact, I’m feeling such slime coming from you that I’m getting out of this nasty site.

  78. Moon Beam Echo

    According to the fact that you know so many “slang” terms for sex, and drug use, it seems as if you yourself have Partaken in a little Sin Docking, and Drug Using, Satanic Worship of your own. Your two blogs are about Bonaroo, and Burning Man. Hey.. Wasn’t Judgement Day May 21st 2011? If you’re still here, it seems like you’re a Sin Filled, Democratic, God-Hater like the rest of us. Congratulations. Your delusional, psychosis filled rants have bought you a seat right next to me on the Crazy Train Ride straight to Hell! 😀

  79. Greg Lance

    Organized religion is responsible for far more deaths than AIDS.

    Go back to eighth grade so you can review world history and biology, you morons.

  80. Christine Coutu

    The person who wrote this has obviously never attended Burning Man or talked to anyone who has actually been there. For example, there are not more than about 50,000 people attending. No one tells anyone what to wear. People express themselves artistically with their dress with whatever they want to wear. The effigy that is burned does not represent anything at all, only what you want it to. Sure, there are probably pagans present but there are also people of every other religion attending. Religion has nothing to do with it. Also, it is on federal land and federal drug enforcement officers are known to be on the site, so you won’t see any more drugs or sex than you do at any other public event. Quit making stuff up. You are projecting your own sick fantasies onto what is a public party that has no more or less bad things occurring at it than at any other large, public event where the general public can camp. It’s okay to speak badly of it, but at least use facts instead of your personal sexual fantasies.

  81. Sparky

    Tyson Bowers the 3rd is a pervert for writing this article.

    The event known as Burning Man is not anti at all.

    All these Christian Extremest are Anti-Religion. Embrace the beliefs of others to understand what compassion and love is all about.


  82. Lydia

    This is the most hilarious “blog” I’ve ever read. I will set aside the horrific verbiage and grammar and just laugh my effin booty off at your descriptions of an event that you have obviously never attended. Nor does it seem you would understand if you did attend. You should stick to talking about things your religion teaches you how to do like rape and murder those who don’t agree with you. Thanks for the laugh man. Two atheist thumbs up!!

  83. Alliecat

    Thanks for the article. I am def putting Burning Man on my list of places to go…wooohooo !!

    P.S. whoever wrote this is an idiot !

  84. Jason

    Totally fake, but the comments from some of the religious people are real. Really funny article, though I think his raver one is better.

  85. v

    i totally agree with this my boyfriend had me attend saguaro man and all it was basily was a mass orgy and drugs , due to the influence of others we drank and almost was the end of my relationship and i did run into alot of satan lovers their as well thank you for posting this ill be sure never to attend another regional burn again and no im not a bible thumber and some straight homophob i’m a transsexual woman who believes in morals and who aceepts Jesus Christ as my personal saver and no one can judge me but god , but going to one regional burn i will never attend another one i’m sure my boyfriend will read this and be upset i personally do not care.

  86. Sane Scott

    Hey Bowers, you’re really funny. Ever do stand-up comedy? This is great. I’m rolling on the floor.

    This is greatest parody site I’ve ever seen. You can’t make this stuff up. Unless of course, you’re making it up, which of course you are, because almost ever word in your article is completely wrong, bucko.

    I’ve been to Burning Man twice and it is the most fun I’ve ever had with my clothes ON. And as has been said before, it’s not anywhere near Las Vegas. But you wouldn’t know that, because all you read is the Bible. Maybe you need a MAP. And a calculator. And new glasses. On second thought, maybe YOU’RE the one on drugs. And not the good ones, I might add.

    Sheesh, folks. You need a new hobby. This wild-eyed demon fantasy of yours is getting out of hand.

  87. Kimberly

    I not only read this article, but your raver article.
    You are a reverend? I fear the example you set for those you so preach to. You clearly are stuck in a bubble of hate and ignorance. I have been to burningman before, this is infact my second year that I will be in attendance. No such events occur. People don’t cheer on other people fornicating. I would love for you to cite your sources in not only this article, but your rave article. You spew bullshit like it’s going out of style. You’re a joke and if anyone actually listens to this shit and doesn’t question your credibility, then they may as well be right down there with you. I hope that you edcuate yourself before writing such articles because you’re only making yourself look stupid and providing entertainment for everyone else instead of getting a point across. The dumbass award goes to you! Congratulations.

  88. magnum

    Hey Reverend ass hat:

    I wont be riding the 747 to hell, ill be the fucking pilot, and my crew will be the gangbanging gussies! Tell your wife to wear some hotpants, and have her meet me at the base of the man Friday at midnight, so we can have unprotected anal sex.

  89. Marvin

    God doesn’t exist; we are all gods and goddesses composed of the same energy. Nothing happens when you die, so instead of wasting your life on ideals that hold little evidence, you could do what these Burners do and have a kick ass fuckin’ time.

  90. Ice Van Winkle

    What an amazing article, TB3. 100’s of souls have been saved by this great work of yours. I think that Burning man will have quite a fewer number of victims this year.

  91. skeeter

    but I specifically remember the phone booth that you could talk to God. I think the reporter is missing some information here. [img][/img]

  92. Confused

    Dear Tyson Bowers III,


    And how do you feel like you have any sort of knowledge to claim these outrageous statements? Hypocritical people like you should not be even allowed to communicate with other human beings, let alone publish articles.

    It saddens me to read your horrific writings, and I hope you realize that YOU are the type of person that most human beings hate.

    Learn how to love people, and the power of the goodness in them.

    Love, compassionate human beings all over the world.

  93. Burning Man Whore!

    My head is spinning! The lies in this article is out of a bad comedy! Burning Man is an Art Festival. Yes there are drugs, yes there are orgys and yes there are lots of parties.
    But there is also lots of amazing Art, creative people, kind and giving Neighbors, children, families with good values (which includes who are you to judge me!) and more!

    I feel sorry for those who read this article and accept it as fact. Check out the facts before you decide this is true.

    Lucky are those who can experience this amazing and powerful art festival with all its twist.

  94. Whimsy

    “sponsored by Hot Topic”
    Dying. So funny.
    Does Crayola make bubble bees? Are they like those color bubbles?

    Man. I cannot wait to get back Blackhole City…


  95. Willow

    Hahaha this guy is fucking crazy. Religious wack jobs make my day. Honestly, while reading this all I could think is “this man is some weird as pervert” the things this guy says are absolutely insane. Burning man is AWESOME! And you obviously haven’t been because there is a huge emphasis on the arts. I’d also like to say: you are a HUGE homophobe, and I truly pity you. All that hate you feel is going to consume you and send YOUR ass to hell.
    just my thoughts =)

  96. mateo

    (oh, by the way, um, everybody? this is a satirical site … not to spoil the fun, but these are obviously parodies of right-wing nutjobs. perhaps a little too realistic … )

  97. Cylon Beelzebub III

    Holy flaming semen demons, this incorruptible paragon of virtue is onto us, Batman – it is exactly as he says!!! The great and maddened hourdes of baby rapists gather on a plain of shamelessness to gyrate and debauch in the flickering light of sin, as is their wont! The Apocalypse is upon us, and it is centered on the Black Whore Desert! Reverend Camping was right – the end of the world has come, only we’re too busy shopping for unlicensed firearms at Walmart to notice it! Drink up, drink up, patrons of the great Commodification – our nation’s very foundations are being rocked by pagan song and dance!

    Abandon hope, America! The Mayflower is sinking, the sun devours the American Dream, shadows stalk the land and hellfire burns the souls of the non-believers!!!

    What a crock of paranoid shitslinging bull.

  98. Rebekah

    Wow. I’m a Christian and I have never heard such BS nonsense as this article of a maniac who has never, ever been to Burningman, knows ZERO about its people and culture, and wants to excite folks against it. What a bunch of crap!

  99. brianna

    you’re a freaking moron. and you wonder why people think you’re crazy. none of that is true, by the way! i went when i was 17, there were less than 30,000 people, i was completely sober and didnt see a single drug, very little nudity, and no std camps. that is ridiculous. who would listen to someone who has never been anyway. like any of your church buddies would go tough the desert heat to bring back the “juicy” details.

  100. Lindsey Grace

    Hate Speech: any communication that disparages a person or a group on the basis of some characteristic such as race, gender, ethnicity, nationality, religion, sexual orientation, or other characteristic.

    Excerpts from the article:
    “fecal flinging, sex addicted homosexuals”
    “clown dressed midgets”
    “large amounts of gay men tip toeing in the desert, hammering out male on male mouth sex acts”

  101. JA

    You should be ashamed of yourself for saying such things about BM. If you’ve been there and what you say here is your vision of it, then I am really sorry for you since you were able to see bad things in a place were people simply are themselves and do not have to pretend anything.

    Regarding gay behaviours: in the wild some species of non-human animals (like chimpanze and others) also have them so I guess it’s not so anti-nature after all.

    Seriously people live your own life and stop criticizing others! Prejudice was what started World War II and it should STOP NOW!!

  102. Jennifer

    This site is discriminating!….. If there was anything I would keep my children away from, it would be people like you.

  103. Master Dragon

    What!? Obviously, like most of your sick ilk, you know nothing of what Burning Man is. Yes, it is a pagan music festival, and many but certainly not all, use drugs. Open nudity, yes. Public sex, no. They will throw you out for having sex in public. There are children there. Regardless of what you “people” (and I use that word VERY lightly) think, pagans do NOT espouse sex around or with children.

    You guys need to get more than some 2nd grade education before you go spouting BS like this article. Look, let’s get this straight – he’s YOUR god, the rules you live by are YOURS, and Hell belongs only to Christians. It didn’t exist before you guys showed up and started murdering everyone else. Are you sure you aren’t Muslim!?

  104. Luvbugg

    WOW…… born and raised christian, graduated from a private christian college, and all I can say is wow!

    Judge not less you be judged. Who put you incharge at the pearly gates to judge, and not to just judge, but to not even have a single fact about burning man correct. Just the opposit it is actually very much a spiritual event.

    Burning man also promotes safe sex while out on the playa, and yes we have dust every were because IT IS EVERYWERE AND DOES GET INTO EVERYTHING.

    And the reason there is such a high teenage pregnancy and STD rate, is because parents are not doing there jobs. It is from narrow mindedness, just like what you write about that your daughters go behind your back and have promiscuous behavior. The rate of STD and pregnancy if you look at the #’s a good majority is the so called “good little Christian” girl.

  105. Strider

    Wow I cannot believe how utterly wrong this article is! First of all the Burning man has nothing to do with satan, the christian god or hell. The act of burning a wooden idol of a man goes back to Wiccan beliefs if anything, different gods different customs. And really the bottom line is where do you bible thumping, ignorant, dishonorable hicks get off telling anyone who’s not christian that they’re going to hell and that everything they do is wrong? Take you’re god and you’re jesus and heaven and hell and go f*** your selves with it because you have no right to chastise anyone else when most of ya’ll dont even abide by you’re own religions rules.

  106. T Groan

    Where’s the event the author wrote about? I want to go to that one!

    I’ve gone to many Burning Man events but seen nothing like he described.

  107. Spiritgirl

    You are all wrong!!! First off, Burning Man is a music and art festival. Not some sick orgy and bible burning devil worshiping event. You’re even wrong in it’s location in Nevada. I know plenty of friends who have attended Burning Man and none of them do any of the things you mention in this article. You are all judgmental evil people and using God and the bible as a way to bash things you are in fear of or don’t understand is horrible. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. If teens are getting STD’s it has nothing to do with Burning Man. It has to do with uptight bible thumping religious parents who don’t educate their children on protection. You preach about abortion but yet you have no problem murdering or killing people that don’t do what you think they should based on “the bible”. Grow up. This site is retarded and you make Christians look like assholes. Seriously.

  108. Brandi

    What exactly is a “bubble bee” and how does one “make” a “sex session”?

    Burning Man is also 500 MILES north of Las Vegas…get your facts straight!

    The rest is pretty accurate, though…and we like it that way!

  109. Catherine

    I’m sorry but this article is REDUCLOUS! I know many people who go to burning man who are NOT gay sex freaks, has STDs OR God hating sinners. In fact they are good people, but they just enjoy to be free and have a good time… this article has no idea what burning man is really about. It is dumbest article ive ever seen… hahaha this must be a joke cause it makes me laugh at its complete nonsense!! I feel sorry for people who really think like this, its just sad…

  110. Plastic Jesus

    Partaking in goofy rituals while prancing around a false idol? Sounds a lot like Christianity! P.S. Why would any “god” create someone who is predetermined to be a homosexual, which is a sin and is punishable by eternal damnation, if he loves us all? That don’t make no sense! It’s all in his plan, right? What kind of prick would decide you’re going to hell before you even exist?
    Fuck y’all.

  111. Metaphysician

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I LOVE BURNING MAN…..

    -lets not talk about all the burning and pilaging and murdering done by christians for hundreds and hundreds of years, all in the name of your external god… so sad.

    much love to you all who read this. i hope you find what your looking for… <3

  112. TYPO

    I can’t believe I’m going to miss it this year! I need you guys to hold the fort in the acid trip sweat lodge and do lots of gay sin docking on my behalf! Enjoy your Rite of Passage!

  113. Tyson Bowers III

    I’m an uneducated twat who can’t get past the constant molestation set upon me by my parents at a young age. I made up all of these “facts” to get people to like me and worship me. I finally realized, after all the comments, that no one is taking me seriously and have underminded the Christian faith.

  114. Tyler Duncan

    Okay okay, wow whoever wrote this is an ingrate. Firstly depraved sex acts happen EVERYWHERE, ever heard of all those abused little boys in from the Catholic Churches? Secondly, attend a burn you will see that in no way is it satanic, unless you view people dancing and building fires satanic. If you do indeed view such that way then you shall never go camping again, nor shall you attend any sort of dancing extravaganza! I read this article and was befuddled, so many typos like “drummed and based” I have never heard of that, try DRUM AND BASS which has mostly been replaced by Dubstep these days. I hope all this is satire, if not I feel sorry for the one who wrote this articles soul.

  115. Tonya

    Well Well Well!!! My Dad DOES think I’m cute. Do I get my lollipop now? lol I was excited for a moment thinking there was a new party place in “Las Vegas”.

  116. AverySays

    I take back everything I previously said about this article and its author. This morning I saw the light! I hope that Mr. Bowers and the other reporters at keep up their good work.

    Thank you and God bless!

  117. Aaron

    I love FALSE IDOLS. Thank you for inspiring me to attend Burning Man!! Great article because it reinforces what I already thought about devoutly religious people. You are awesome and I love your opinion even though you will never go and find out what its like. Bye!

  118. Jack

    Please publish more! This was a fun read for how stupid it was! This guy has a great imagination. Burning Man does have some stuff that would revolt hard core bible bangers but frankly, modern music, movies, Halloween, people of other races, and other every day things offend them so take it with a grain of salt. I’ve been there twice and never saw anything like what was described in this article. Lots of partying – yes. Messed up stuff – no.

  119. Satan

    This burning man sounds good. I might check it out this year. BTW: Thanks for the sex last night Tyson. I can’t believe how much of my cock you can get in your mouth. And thanks for swallowing… the carpet is stain free!!!!

  120. Playa Mason

    Have you ever *been* to Burning Man?

    (1) There are not 122,000 to 185,000. The attendance is more like 35-40 thousand.

    (2) Burning Man was founded in 1986, years after AIDS was already killing Hollywood Actors and British Musicians.

    (3) The average attendee is 30-40 and up. It was founded by hippies, not teens.

    (4) While there are orgies, they tend to use condoms, so they’re hardly passing STDs.

    (5) The only way teens can get there is with their parents. You have to be an adult to buy a ticket to burning man and you have to drive 100 miles through the desert with a week’s worth of water and supplies to go.

    (6) The week that I was there, not one of the 35 thousand people threw fecal material. Not one. Unlike the shit you’re slinging here.

    –A Burner

  121. Amber Cooper

    I have heard about these cesspools of sin and it is just as bad as the stories, if not worse. Why are these types of bands and concerts even still allowed?

    1. Me

      I’m sorry Amber, but if this article is all you know about Burning Man, please do your own research. I can assure you, this author has never attended a Burning Man and therefor has made all of that text in an attempt to control your opinion. Just because 1 or two people call it a “pagan festival” doesn’t mean it’s so.

      The “Man” that is burned at the end of the festival signifies a lot of things to a lot of people, such as renewal of spirit, personal cleansing, or even just consider it living artwork of sorts; but is not some “call to Satan” or “false idol”

      Many churches attend to set up camps at Burning Man, hold services, even marry couples right on site. There are many Burning Man sponsored AA and Sobriety Camps as well, and many more unofficial sober camps:

      It is primarily an art festival. Some groups wish express different views than yours, and they have that right as much as you do.

      Judge not lest ye be judged.

    2. Mike

      Because what you have heard is a boat load of paranoid, delusional lies. Go to burning man and see for yourself. I don’t care much for organized religion, but at least I attended church before I made that decision.

  122. Bacchus

    First off, you write like a horny 16 year old angry virgin with no English skills. Between the lack of appropriate grammar and the long list of carefully studied and compiled euphemisms, its obvious you’ve spent a lot of time combing the internet for scandalously written articles about the things you wish you could do.

    Your lack of facts about the actual event speaks to your ignorance as well.
    I’ve also noticed, other than your blatant sexism (milksacks, really?) you don’t seem to mention any lesbian sex, focusing on so many vivid euphemisms for male on male that I have to surmise that your rabid homophobia more than likely stems from your own repressed feelings for men. Don’t worry, we all go through phases of hating ourselves and when you do come out you will find your new community much more understanding than the realm of intolerance and hate that you’re now so caught up in.

    Lastly, if a so called ‘STD party’ exists, I’m sure you have your facts wrong as well. A place where those who have STDs can go and enjoy sexual encounters with others so afflicted so that they can honorably keep others free of the disease is rather noble. I highly doubt it’s the ‘gotta catch em all’ Pokemon style swap meet you so fantasize.

    I’m sorry you find yourself in such a mindset against people expressing their free will and eccentric style. If only you could stop judging them for who they are and be yourself, maybe you too would find the freedom and love that comes from a community built on the idea of loving one another, not hating one another as your own community encourages. I wish you luck in your path of enlighten, and pray to all the gods that you find your way out of the dark.


  123. Grim

    This all really simply makes me sigh sadly. As I can take this in only really one of two ways:

    Option 1: This is supposed to be a parody. Though, if it is, then Tyson, you are a very rather evil person. I cannot stress how wrong hate mongering to this level of deprivation is. Largely because there are religious extremists out there that will believe the hype, and may be moved to cause very real harm to many innocent people, simply for the words of a few. Many of you “followers” are just as much to blame as well, and I see no reason for such blatant hate against others that you have spouted on this site, other than to cause the death and/or serious harm to others, without getting your own hands stained with their blood.

    Option 2: You do seriously believe in what you say, that you believe that an event such as burning man is nothing but a way for the very incarnation of evil to infect the hearts of man, and for those that go to such events to supplement “the light of god” with the devil’s work. If that is the case, then you first need to actually go to such an event, and see that it is nothing of what you describe.

    As a side note, if you people are legitimate in what you say you believe, than you seriously need to go back to bible study. I come from a family of theologians, I probably know the christian faith better than most. Of how you speak, and the way you portray yourselves, you clearly know little of your own religion, and less of the spiritual beliefs of others. For one, christians do not preach hate, of the faiths that believe in christ as their saviour, the catholics are the ones that have historically been xenophobic of other religions. Christianity is supposed to be about the passive teaching of the word of god, and not the militant attacks on other religions that is atypical of Catholicism. Point in case, some of the spiritual beliefs you cast ill omen upon, are those that in all actuality propagate your own faith. As anyone that believes in the devil as a being of worship, admits the presence of god. So the attacks on devil worshippers is meaningless.

    Now, before any of you people that prefer to attack others spiritualism try to denounce what I say. I have this for you:

    I have a very specific set of beliefs, They may loosely be defined as any religion, as I have studied quite a few, and most of my core spiritualism can be defined by any of them. For those of you that would denounce me for this, and force me to let jesus in my life, simply put…

    … I would rather bare my own cross, my life is my own, and for a anyone, human, god, or devil, to say that I am wrong for doing what I believe morally to be in the right, is no deity that I would ever follow.

    Go read a book, better yet, a few, and truly become ‘enlightened’.

    1. Harold Camping

      ……” I would rather bare my own cross,”

      That only means that you are a naked (bare) fornicator blaspheming the cross.

      Our Jesus did “beareth his Cross” (i.e. to bear) – not to be confused with our other Jesus that moweth my lawn.

  124. Homo Sapien

    Biblical Science – what an oxymoron!

    And, yeah, isn’t thinking about all this stuff just as bad as doing it? You thumpers DO spend a LOT of time dreaming this stuff up.

  125. Realityisreal

    Funny, you know what actually is increasing STD rates in teens???
    Abstinence only education forced upon childern by the religious.

    This isn’t an opinion, it is backed up by evidence. Teen STD rates are higher in areas with abstinence only education and they become higher in areas that adopt abstinence only ed. while becoming lower in areas that get rid of it.

    So what actually increases STD rates in teens? Religion mandating its ignorance by law.

    1. Bacchus

      I completely forgot to mention that.

      Indeed, what causes more STDs in teens is the ignorant and deluded idea that conservatives have that denying teens safe sex information is going to keep them from having sex. Silly conservatives…


  126. Patton

    OMG this is awsome!!!!! Where do I sign up?? Are you one of the promoters??? Thanks you so much for letting us know about this!!!! Can you get me backstage??

  127. Me

    There’s a strange hush around San Francisco and the Bay Area. There’s fewer people around, there’s a little less traffic, and there are parking spots where there are normally none.

    This week is the week of the Burning Man festival — a celebration of abundance, creativity, the arts — set within one of the most inhospitable places on earth, a place where NASA might test its Mars Rover because of the extremes of temperature, wind, solar radiation and dust storms.

    About two hours drive outside of Reno, Nevada, a city of about 50,000 rises up from the bed of an ancient alkali lake where nothing grows. For about a week it is one of the largest cities in Nevada, and then it disappears, leaving no trace.

    Residents of what is known as Black Rock City build incredible buildings and art installations. The creativity and ambition of many of the projects is breathtaking. Yet there is no commercial involvement or commerce allowed at the event beyond being able to purchase ice and coffee from a central location.

    There are several daily newspapers, several dozen radio stations, and hundreds of theme camps that offer experiences of many kinds, or simply a shady place to escape the sun or the dust storms.

    Despite the grandeur of so many installations there is nothing labelled “Sponsored by Google” or “Intel” or “Oracle” yet there are many people from those companies and more, attending every year.

    Burning Man’s culture of openness, creativity, self-organization, sharing, and innovation plays a key influence in SIlicon Valley’s culture, and one has influenced the other, countless times. The idea for the open source movement could very easily have come from the open collaboration that Burning Man started. There is a lot of common culture between the geek engineer community and Burning Man.

    Burning Man is part of the mythology of Silicon Valley, for example, it is how Eric Schmidt got his job at Google, by showing up one year and impressing founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page, both avid “Burners.”

    Beach party…

    Burning Man grew from humble origins. It started as a beach party in San Francisco in 1986 and then moved to the remote and desolate high desert of Nevada.

    The early days were wilder than today, there were no rules. People would set up crazy things such as a drive-by shooting gallery. These days each ticket to the event warns in large letters that participants face possible death but there are lots of rules to prevent death and injury.

    But despite some rules, it is still an open event where much of anything goes. And people do die in unfortunate accidents.

    A blank canvas…

    The vast expanse of the playa — the empty space at the heart of Burning Man, acts as a canvas for spectacular art projects. My favorite part of the Burning Man experience is cycling across the playa and discovering new art seemingly coming out of nowhere overnight.

    The huge playa is like the Internet, a massive blank canvas, a platform for people’s creativity. And like the Internet, you often don’t know who is behind the projects, or even like some of the projects…

    The event is not a weekend getaway. Don’t think you can throw a bag in the back of the car and head off to party for a few days because you will likely run into serious problems. Even a little alcohol starts to dehydrate your body very quickly. And many people are hospitalized for thinking Burning Man is just another party town.

    If you plan and pace yourself then the experience can be transforming. You spend the day sheltering from the sun and the heat and the dust, and then Black Rock City comes to life as the afternoon sun wanes. The temperature cools and its night becomes as glittering and bright as Reno or Las Vegas.

    It has been about 5 years since I last visited Black Rock City and each time it feels very fragile as if it might not be there again next year.

    One of the most striking aspects is the lack of commercial messages for an entire week. You only notice it once you leave: the ads in magazines; the advertising on the radio; even the brand advertising on the side of trucks becomes very noticeable and oppressive after a week away…

    If you ever get the chance to go, you should take it. The event’s temporary nature and spectacle are a good metaphor for our times. And “leave no trace” is a great lesson we can learn from Burning Man.

  128. Ray

    Dear God, I pray every day and night that you will protect me from your followers. How can a religion spread so much hatred of others. Religion is the No.1 cause of death in this world. Be-leave in my God or dye! That’s really a good massage considering your religion is determined by what religion your born into 99.9% of the time.

  129. Donald Norris

    Is this article for real? Because you really have absolutely no idea at all what you are talking about.

    The harshness of the desert brings people closer to a scene of community and love almost forgotten in today’s world. Yes there are naked people… Its really HOT!

    Radical self reliance, self expression along with acceptance and love of your fellow man or woman doesn’t sound bad to me.

    I challenge you to ACTUALLY go to the event. Stay the entire 7 days and see up close and personal the reality. Find people you bond with. Burningman has communities of every faith background. You can even find missionaries. The energy you are looking for will find you and bring you closer to your god and yourself then you could ever think imaginable.

    If you feel more comfortable bringing your bible and holding it with you all week with you, no one will judge you at all?(or even think its weird). But I warn you.. if your just going for sex or to gawk at naked girls, just watch how quickly you get shunned by the community.

    “Man Beautiful”
    7 year burner

    1. Harold Camping


      The threat is very real. You must repent before the destruction of the world and God’s final judgment.

      I have forecast this date several times. I suspect my recent stroke was what was actually foretold by the Bible for the end of May (OK – June 9th) – but I have since prayed for guidance and a new calculator, and have determined that we have until October 21st.

      You mention “Radical self reliance,” by that you can only mean radical self pleasuring which, along with fornication with animals (that I have personally seen at Burning Man), is the surest path to damnation!

      1. really?

        Harold Camping, you should be ashamed of yourself for taking money from people and trying to convince them you have any clue of what God wants and says.

        You are not a true christian to take peoples money and leave them to have nothing so you can gain your agenda.

        God will judge you for your actions and he would not see you as a true Christian.

        You should give that money back to those people and suck it up and realize you were wrong.

        Only God knows when the end will come.

        Every generation all through out history, people believed they knew when the end would come and it never does.

        Leonardo Da Vinci had a way better bible calculation that predicted the world to end decades from now. I far would rather read his predictions than a money grabbing hate monger.

        Burning Man is nothing like this mans descriptions.

        Spreading, fear hate and trying to divide humans as black in white is not what God wrote about.

        When God said to not use his name in vein this is what he meant. Not to twist his words and throw around what you think he is as no human can grasp the divine.

        God just is…

        Please give back that money to the people who trusted in you and your vision and then I could call you a good Christian.

        1. Harold Camping

          God does not want anyone to use anything in their veins.

          That’s why Burning Man must be exposed for what it is – a drug-needle fueled Babylon and Gomorrah where sodomy happens.

          Leonardo Da Vinci was an instrument of Satan, he was a known sodo-man as well – and his helicopter never flew. Even though he took the King’s gold and never repented his earthly gains.

          I took no earthly gain from contributions. All went to fund God’s work on earth and towards a newer calculator. As for the dates given me in the Bible – the dates are now accurate.

  130. burnersnotabummer

    um ive been to the man and none of that shit happens its all lies like the ones the come from the bible i guess these people are pretty dumb to beleive a whole shit ton of lies

  131. Full-On

    Don’t worry about the threat. The big “Man” those milksack bearing hippies burn at the end of their drug slinger festival gets shorter by 1″ every year so it couldn’t possibly be around much longer. Either way I hear Dr. Dre just bought Burning Man last year.

  132. Brandon

    OMG are you serious? in my eyes to Burn the man is nearly, literally to Burn the essence of the being you call Satan. In his electric glowing face! people can come to the most desolate areas in the world and be who ever you want to be, to follow your spirit. Weather light or dark you are welcome and we love each other.

    Christian activists seem to have a serious problem with thinking that because their are dark beings that it is bad. Not so DOMINANCE is bad no FREE WILL is bad, with all your TV and structure and lack of free will, I think your missing something.

    Before you condemn something that you have no idea what it is to be Satan. I think you better figure out who Satan is, or would be. Might just find a mirror

  133. Sunshine

    I cannot believe what I am reading!! I am outraged and almost speechless! I AM a Christian and I DO know the Bible. What you are portraying is outlandish. I have also been to Burning Man with my husband and son. NEVER did I once, see anyone doing drugs, eating babies, having STD sex tents or any of the crap written here. From reading what is here, i get the feeling that the author should start writing sex books instead, as it seems to be his calling. The manner in which he describes the events of BM are more sexually explicit than anything I have seen at Black Rock City! A true Christian would “never” be so judgmental. They know judging is God’s job, not mans! And shouldn’t Christian’s be the ones to “Love thy neighbor as you would would thyself?” What’s wrong with you man? Go to Burning Man and see for yourself what is really there and what is not. You will find yourself loved by every person there. No one judges… Everything is free or traded for, no one is out to burn anyone (LOL!) except “the man”, which is just wood and everyone knows there is no Devil worshipping or Bible burning. How stupid do you think these people are? BTW- Many people of “all” walks of life and ages attend BM. There are doctors, lawyers, scientists, etc. Religions of all kinds too. Jewish, Christians, what have you. Amazing how they can all get along, treating others as they would like to be treated. Judge not lest the be judged thine own self. Some say ignorance is bliss, I say in this case, it’s just being stupid! Maybe you could actually learn something from all those “STD Ridden Teens!”

  134. Pamela

    This writer must be a comedian because this is hilarious. Do the sex depraved satan worshippers survive a week in the desert because God wills it? I’m pretty sure people as dumb as ones taking this article seriously would just die of dehydration. Baby holes and milk sacks, You’re killing me. Lets have coffee.

  135. Bwahaha LOL

    This site has some of the best humor ever conceived. Speaking of conceived, you forgot to mention the randmon sperm donor tents where women can be impregnated with the sperm of up to 10 men at once – random men, many with STDs of course….

    The sad thing is the US breeds 1000’s and 1000’s of people just as stupid as those that write for Christwire…or wait, is this just too right wing nutty to be true, perhaps the whole site is a joke on the right wing 😉

  136. existentialanimal

    They’re all lying. It’s true, from the baby eating to the Satanic STD swapping rituals. We hate God and Bibles. We only want to hide the truth and that’s why we’re trying to come off sounding like reasonable peace-loving individuals. Why would we want to be individual when we can be monotonous, ignorant, gun-jumping, Satanic Bible worshippers that sound dumb and hickish?

    1. AoT

      Last year I actually made a giant bible out of aborted fetuses just so I could burn it at an STD exchange.

  137. Ember

    Take the efn logs out of your own eye before you point out the splinter in your neighbor’s and judge the shit out of it. How misinformed could you possibly be???

  138. Amanda

    Must say that I was far more disturbed by the language used in this article than I was by anything I saw or experienced at Burning Man. Peace.

      1. Khaytier

        Wow. You can’t even say this is a disturbing article, demonstrating some level of education and common sense, without being called a drug addict.

        Really, lady. This is a disturbing piece of writing even if it is not meant to be taken seriously. If all you people think this way I’m glad I’ve never stepped foot in a church in my life.

  139. Sairose Flynn

    I have numerous friends that go to burning man. None of them have loose morals, none of them do drugs, none of them have sex with married males or females for that matter.

    Bottom line, Tyson Bowers is a liar and should go to this event before stating his appalling untruths.

  140. Khaytier

    Dude… I’ve totally seen Jesus every time I’ve been to Burning Man. I even chatted merrily with him over watermelon and bacon one morning as he insisted that Bicycle Camp should be able to fix the flat tire he had aquired in his daily battle with sin. He was, afterall, Jesus. Bicycle Camp, however, totally reminded him that he was Jesus and should be able to fix his own damned tire through all that water to wine mumbo jumbo that he’s supposed to be able to do. Last I saw of Jesus, that day, he was lugging his bike through a mini-sand dune, cursing those guys at bike camp under his breath as his rear tire, unmoving in its great flatness, drug deep trails through the playa. Something about hell and strippers, I believe.

  141. DaDaDooey

    Ridiculous! Hopefully all the “religious” fanatics will believe the horseshit and stay the fuck away… as should a good amount of those already attending.

  142. Sarah

    Wow…I have NEVER heard of anything this insane regarding Burning Man. Maybe some of you negative people should attend for a day and sew what’s it’s really all about? I have not attended but know many people who do–Upstanding adults. Maybe for those of us who have not gone, we really shouldn’t place judgement on something we don’t know? Just sayin’…..

  143. Jazz

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ok, I’ll admit, there is weird stuff out there, but not…um…wow…sexual fantasies of satan’s deviant mind. hahahaha. Lets see…giant slides…giant swingsets…dancing…wow…um…sounds like preschool more than an orgy. Maybe…judge not less ye be judged. Along with…see for yourself rather than listening to hearsay. oh…and BlackROCK Desert. Not really that close to Las Vegas…closer to Reno. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  144. Manti

    ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! LOL. You christians are retarded if you believe this. Seriously, you are all retarded.

    Has anyone even attended the event?


    god loving =/= intelligence

  145. Ivy

    Wow I have never heard so much crap accumulated in one location. I would like to say one thing and one thing only Religion = Idiots =) Awh that felt great!

  146. Mike

    Wow, you are so sadly misinformed. Where do you get your facts? Seriously. I have been to burning man. My friends go every year. Burning man has absolutely nothing to do with Hot Topic or Satan. It’s a music and art festival where everyone is welcome to express themselves. Nothing is bought or sold. People dance and create art. No animals are slaughtered and Satan is not worshiped. I feel really sorry for you and anyone who believes your lies.

  147. C, Tom Bowers III – you are so insane, you WILL burn. insane down to your insane name.

    open your minds, you pathetic people

  148. Solve / Coagula

    What a bunch of narrow minded provincial pratts.

    Never has so much hate filled fear mongering oozed its way into the minds of so many backward muppets as is clearly apparent here.

    This says more about the small minded deviant fantasies of the writer than any actual event or reality.

  149. Paul

    If Satan is responsible for so much and apparently God fails to stop this how do you really sort out what God does and what Satan does? Isn’t it just as possible that the group of people partying in the desert is the result of some unknown initiative of God and angered conservative reaction the culmination of Satan’s own plans? You might say you know better because you’re a righteous God fearing man, but what if Satan is the one who wanted you to be that way? I posted this a few times to reiterate.

  150. Ranger Sasquatch

    I’d say that as satire of some extreme christian fundamentalists views this article scores a spooky 8 out of 10. If it’s meant to report fact, well all I have to say is google burning man and decide for yourself.

  151. Emily

    Get a clue and research your facts.
    There is so much more happening at burning man then what you are describing.

    1. Bruce Danus

      If there is more happening at Burning Man than what Tyson has described, then I don’t think any normal human, let alone a Christian human should step foot in that place.

      1. Khaytier

        There’s tons of christians that step foot into BRC. And not a damned one of them walks away thinking this crazy bullshit. In fact… They all seem to be quite enjoying themselves and communing with their god in their own way. Or is that a sin too?

        Crazy Christians destroyed our scientific and social advancements for almost 2 thousand years in the Western World. They’ve driven millions from their homelands, gang raped thousands in front of their non-believing husbands and fathers, burned the only books containing the language and history of an ENTIRE thriving civilization, and preach for the spread of STD’s and ignorance by keeping sex ed and evolution out of the classrooms of our children.

        Ignorance is the human condition. So is superstition, obv. However, the above mentioned atrocities (which are only a small pinhead amount in the grand sceme of religious based atrocities) committed in the name of God and Jesus Christ will far outshine Burning Man in terms of sins and foul deeds committed. From what I can tell the good citizens of BRC did not torch the mayans, did not burn innocent folks at the stake for seeming a little weird, nor do they sulk around cursing their fellow man under their breath for having some common fucking sense.

        REally… People with this kind of religious biggotry need to be shut down. Its just as bad as racisim and all those other things that we so hate… But because its God and most dumb Americans fear God (But don’t believe in unicorns for some reason) no one does shit. So I guess we will continue to breed hate and stupidity for generations to come.

  152. Michael

    You sir are a moron that has never been to Burning Man. Spreading lies from an uneducated point of view. The sad fact is there are christian drones that will believe you.

    1. Paul

      I have one word for you education!
      Your facts on Burning Man are so far off base, you have made a complete fool for yourself by not checking the facts. Work on your integrity and spirituality…from the inside out and stop trying to fix others until you have fixed your pathetic self.
      My God bring some kind of intelligent stimulation to your brain make you a nonjudgmental and strip the hate from your individuality.

  153. aha

    Shame on who wrote that!! before you say so much bullshit about that, you should go there and see by yourself!

    1. Bruce Danus

      If I told you that you were wrong, would you Take on me, Take me on, don’t worry though cuz I’ll be gone in a day or two. So needless to say I’m odds and ends
      But that’s me, stumbling away
      Slowly learning that life is O.K.
      Say after me
      It’s no better to be safe than sorry.

  154. Caroshine

    Wow. What a bunch of fantastical nonsense. And by fantastical, I do mean that this version of Burning Man lives in the desires/fantasies of the author.

    This year will be my 5th year at Burning Man and my 11th “burn”. The amount of love, appreciation, enlightenment, and tolerance I see on the playa would put most “Christians” I know to shame.

    Best to all of you here,

  155. HENOTIC


  156. wolfe

    Great, now that the cat’s out of the bag, everyone is going to want to go!!! Well fellow burners, it was fun while it lasted, get ready for this year to be overrun with closet christian kinks. i guess the 2011 theme “Rights of Passage” is pretty apropos after all. By the way, I bet someone is making a killing on the sales of the B-man documentary advertised at the top of the article. gotta love contextual based advertising on the web!

  157. vegas bob

    Its this kind of nonsense that does real christians a dis service and makes normal ,reality based people shy away from gods word.It also goes to prove that its not just the middle east who has religious fanatics.
    The article is mostly some warped fantasy and far from the spirit or reality of burning man.
    the festival is about the art and the sense of community.
    the burn is not for every one but is as sweet a buch of people as you will ever meet.
    In the true spirit of gods word they are accepting and non judgemental of all peoples lifestyles.
    Your a mean spirited pervert and secretly want to participate in all the deviant acts yuo describe.
    get some therapy… and a girlfriend….and a life
    peace to all

  158. Luna

    What?! That article is so far from being the truth it’s absurd. I am planning to go to Burning Man for my third time this year, and my experience of it has been about connecting to really nice, fun people who enjoy art and dancing and braving nature in the desert. Sure there are some people doing things i wouldn’t do, but after all, there are more than 40,000 people there, so same as any town of 40,000 people, they are not all angels. I have met some of the kindest, most honest, helpful people at Burning Man who continue to be there for me. I bet you if Jesus was here he would find good company at Burning Man.

  159. ella

    This must be a joke. Number one who are you to judge other people. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t give you the right to publicly disrespect them. I find it sad that you are so insecure that you have to make things up about something you have never been to.There is no way that this article saved 100’s of people especially because that sentence was stupid. It is ether 100 or hundreds. Maybe before you should do more research and maybe go back to school before you make your self look worse.

  160. Muninn

    Your ignorance and stupity .. along with unwanton zeal of a deity conjured up in a book.. is the main reason I turned AWAY from christianity. Go fuck yourselfs.

  161. Mikey

    Burning Man 2011! Here we go. I am packing my RV, bringing a ton of Lube and some fun time snacks for the whole bunch….let’s have some Christian fun!

  162. Crystal


    good thing i dont believe in god

    and i if i’m going to hell, i’m gonna have fun the whole way there

  163. FactFail

    This article is brazenly fabricating these ‘facts’ based on an event that, while not christian-minded, does not promote or facilitate most of what is being pandered here.

    Add to this the usage of terminology like ‘male sin snakes,’ the author has no foothold in real Christian concepts of God’s view on sex. For a religion built on foundations of removing the plank from your own eye before removing the speck in that of your brother, I find it quite ironic the slanderous defamation of character that the Christian environment carries with it.

    This article is not Christianity, spreading God’s word, love, or commandments. This is an elitism not far off from the diarrhea spewed by the Westboro Baptist Church.

    Shame on you.

  164. StonedOdie

    Hahahaha I love how it says Praise or Condemn instead of like or dislike. This article really made me think it was a huge joke.. I mean.. I didnt think any Jesus lover would use ANY of the words and slang terms this fucking jackass moron used.. Hahaha I’m going to pretend he wasn’t serious, cuz if I didn’t, I’d have to burn him in the pits of hell for being so fucked up for fantasizing about this shit.. I mean the only way you could come up with shit like this is through your own fantasies and imagination… This author is fucking sick.. So are all you other bible thumpers that preach lies because soo many ppl are realizing how much you manipulate shit to your benefit. and I’m talking about EVERY religion..

  165. Miles

    So I read this article, and then some of the comments… I’ve never seen this site before (I just clicked on a link on Facebook)… Is this some sort of satire website? Is this a real article? It was hilarious! And so were the comments!!! Kudos @Rev. Custer… I usually don’t go for racist humor like that but this was brilliant! I think it got me the way it did because racism had nothing to do with the topic and then you just come out of left field with that ‘savages’ thing… I love the throwback to the old-timey slang terms. And the profile picture and name are just perfect. It’s like you walked straight out of 1860 and started posting on this hilarious website. I’m going to be re-reading and laughing about this article for hours…

  166. Pop my Burn Cherry please!

    WOW this place sounds amazing! I’m so there. Thanks for sending me the directions God.

  167. caleb howard

    You can’t prove that this entire article is not an intentionally hyperbolic joke. It is clear that you are not reporting on anything approaching factual events… though, if this is a representation of the hatefulness one might expect from Christian followers, any alternative would be appealing.

    Satan – being a Christian concept, holds no interest for non-christians. Did that not occur to you?

    Jesus save us from fools like you.

  168. Satans semen




  169. Daemyon Zatarga

    Wow, that piece was so distorted, I initially thought it was just a campy spoof for the amusement of the reading public…there are actually people out there who are so warped that they believe this kind of crap?! I’d laugh if they weren’t so dangerous; but, I suppose that’s the reason why the Puritans came to the shores of this continent in the frist place: They needed somewhere to go that they could spout this type of drivel and the natives wouldn’t have a clue what the hell they were going on about! Damned shame the indigenous tribes didn’t assimilate them when they had the chance, we’d have a more tolerant society today…

  170. Serotonin

    Poorly written article

    As a therapist that has been going to Burningman
    for years I am shocked by your article.

    There are many church camps and other uplifting groups at BM.

    Article clearly speaks on hatred, fear

  171. TaylorDJames

    It amazes me how Christians think that by slandering other people they’re doing good. Don’t they realize that they’re doing what the bible tells them exactly not to do.
    This article did not speak to me at all. Mostly because it was full of ‘Christian swear words.’ Like by putting it in the most dirty of sinful ways you can put it that means your still writing a clean and informational article. Informational, maybe… but impressive, no. Does it make me want to follow your way of life (the authors), probably not if that’s how you talk and treat everyone out of you circle of thought.
    You know that the majority of people we call good Christians have faults as well and God forbid you find out because you may curse them out like you just did these people. The people at Burning Man know the actions of their choices and God does too, so it is not your job to curse and slander them, but to give people the clean strait cold hard facts. Yes people get STD’s there, yes married people go to have sex and make art pieces of their own to show off. But you know what, some of the best people I know go to Burning Man and the reason why they are is because they have a general healthy interest in peoples well being. Vs. many Christians I know who really just care about their own salvation and only care about converting other to have them on their side or so they feel better about their walk.
    What you’re doing is not for God, it is for your own satisfaction.
    This article is very bias and I am saying that as a conservative Christian myself.
    “Love your neighbor as yourself” the greatest commandment of all… and that includes the whores and sluts.

  172. brihappy23

    Burning man is not near Vegas. Its in the Blackrock desert in Gerlach, NV. Tiny little town with nothing but land. Burning man can be a very spiritual experience for anyone who goes. There are so many various types of people that go there, all going for a different reason. Do people have sex? Yea. Do they do drugs? Some, sure. BUT there are people that make their own camp sites for worshiping. There are tents where people go in and “confess” their sins, or troubles and at the end the tent is set on fire, along with all the “confessions”. Burning man is not for everyone, and you are all entitled to your own opinion on the event, but without going and experiencing it for yourself, you have no room to speak so negatively about something you don’t even know about. Its a freeing experience

  173. andy

    Derka derka, why y’all so damn dumb. This is a parody retards. “Ive been to burning man 5 times and I’ve never seen this”- Nice job you noob. Maybe by your 10th time you will recognize this as a totally fake parody.

  174. ultra_music_festival

    I’m in complete shock about how many IGNORANT comments I’ve read in this blog. I’ve never been to burning man but I’ve heard nothing but AMAZING things about this event and believe this is how mankind should be today. <3







    BURNING MAN IS NOT FOR U ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  176. Venus

    This is ridiculous writing and maybe was written as a joke….the burn events are definitely not for you! Too bad you will forever live a shallow life. Should you have ever been to a burn event, you would leave there refreshed and ready to take on this crazy world–only to crave and wait patiently for the next event you could attend.

    As for the STDs, try looking at the shows on TV these days—which is actually a good reason to never turn the TV on.

    Peace and Love!

  177. Brain

    There is nothing factual in this article, and the English language writing ability of this writer is very poor. Lines like “making sex sessions” and “you can be apart of” and “bubble bees” make this sound like it was written by a grade school student or someone new to English.

  178. Ice Van Winkle

    Why can’t the youth of today be happy with the Bible and good Christian fellowship? Why do they need all of this to fit in with the cool crowd? Just be your self!

  179. SoDomb

    omg ive never laughed so hard in my life
    i thought the article was hilarious
    then i started reading the comments
    im seriously lost for words…
    i keep coming back to try to finish this because i really dont want to offend anybody
    but this is just wow
    if you religious people have seen the things you say you have then i feel for ya cause you have the worst luck ever to be in the wrong place at the wrong time that many times
    i mean theres bad people in any group and when you get that many people together some weird stuff can happen
    but dont let those very few and very rare incidents make you think were all a bunch of satanic lunatics. most of the people at music festivals are normal working class people just trying to get through life like anyone else and like most people they just need a vacation every once in a while, and i like them choose to go to music festivals instead of the lake or the inlaws(thats for christmas).
    and to the party goers all i say is keep going and keep having a good time what these people think doesnt affect how awesome of time you’re gonna have and may already have had this festival season 😀
    so dont get mad here cause it doesnt make us look any better to these people, they’re set in there ways and we’ll never be able to convince them how good these things can be

  180. Tony Caroselli

    “making sex sessions with random women dressed up like the Easter Bunny and little bubble bees”

    The Easter Bunny? Eh. But “bubble bees?” I am SO! THERE! I’ve ALWAYS WANTED to bang a bubble bee. ALWAYS!

  181. whatkind

    It is incredible that such closed-mindedness still exists in the world today. If Jesus were alive today he’s be charging Burning Man HARD!

  182. wintershall

    christwired seems like walker texas ranger, we still don’t know if it was meant for real or if they were taking the piss out of themselves… real time entertainment at its best !!!

    but if this is the wire for conservative christian believes, i find it rather amusing to find an ad for online gay dating right on top !!!

    praise or condom !?!

    now give me a hell-a-you-jah !!!

  183. Amy

    I am a middle aged professional mother of three and have been to burningman. This article has obviously been written by a horny fool with nothing else to do. Burningman is about art and the freedom of expression that it represents. See, Christians don’t WANT freedom, they want to control. It all comes from a place of ego, and assuming one knows everything when the only source of reference for that knowledge is a book written years ago by unknown individuals. It’s a STORY that you have to REPEAT to yourselves in order to remember. I could go on, having been born into a Christian family and still surrounded by such. Thank GOD I have found the truth and it HAS set me free. I see through your stories, and I have found that Christians ARE the evil they preach against. This kind of malarky is evidence of such.
    Burningman ROCKS… you should check it out. It offers freedom to be whatever and whoever you want, without discrimination such as that imposed by supposed Christians.

      1. Lin

        I feel the need to confess. I did perform a despicable act while on playa last year. I was riding my bike, and I saw a plastic thingy blowing by in the wind. I…I admit…I failed to pick it up. I don’t know if I can live with myself.

  184. Skwert

    You poor, uninformed people. “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

  185. Schimmer

    You must be an ignorant person with a low sense of self worth to have posted such bs probably trying to get people all riled up to post some rants. In that regard, here are some facts: most people who go to Burning Man are not teens, in fact most years at Burning Man, the average age is probably in the 30s. While I cannot speak for others, I know nobody who worships the man, but instead either see it as an art display or when the man burns, it’s a symbol of setting yourself free..letting go of the old. One of the “idols” people create here is a’s a temple where people write notes to their loved ones they’ve lost.. a note to someone they need to say goodbye to living or not… a heartfelt note .. they bring things with them that represent the person they are writing to. During the week they put the notes on the temple itself or inside one of the beautifully constructed walls. At the end of the week, the temple is burned. It’s a symbol of letting someone go, connecting with them, saying goodbye. I myself write notes to my mother who I miss dearly and for one day out of the year I feel close to her again. I cannot go to Burning Man this year due to finances and the part I will miss the most is not being able to feel that closeness to her as nobody outside of Burning Man allows the spiritual connection. For one day a year I look forward, not to actually talk to my mother, not to see her ghost or anything like that, but to spiritually feel the connection I had with my mom and this year I will miss it. When is the last time you went through blinding white out conditions walking your bike through miles of desert sand against the wind completely sober to deliver a note to someone you love? I would do it year in and year out. To some like me, it is spiritual. I was lost down some very dark unlit streets and some very nice very sober people helped me. If I were in some dark unlit street in a city.. I would have been more likely to have been raped by some “drug slingers” than I would be at Burning Man. Yes there are drugs there, have you checked your local stores or streets, proms, house parties, alleys, fast food chains, schools, parks or the freaking sidewalk? There are many people doing drugs everywhere, so if you don’t do them, then don’t as it is not a requirement to enjoy Burning Man. Your enjoyment relies on your own freedom to enjoy it and if you do not require drugs or want drugs then be your own person and don’t do them. There are people from all walks of life at Burning Man, people who live paycheck to paycheck who bring nothing more than a backpack to millionaires in million dollar diesel pushers and all are accepted by each other. In addition, the people who create these pieces of art do not all burn them down. They spend a lot of time creating beautiful things to bring to Burning Man, spend a week or so putting them up let people enjoy them for a week and then break it all back down to take it home. Have you ever worked outside in the heat of the desert sun, during white outs, in the alcalai filled sand, in the rain, in the wind putting up a random lit up smile in the desert, putting up a phone booth in the middle of the desert just so people would see the humor in it, building a 40 foot tall steel heavily detailed woman or praying mantis, building a half a million dollar outdoor club, putting together a vividly decorated vehicle or organized something all year long for free, just so that for one week out of each year random people can enjoy it? Have you ever been walking depressed or just kind of blah and someone just does something to make you smile? Well there is more than one person who will do that for you at Burning Man and they will do it out of the kindness of their hearts. If you smile at someone at Burning Man a smile is returned, unlike in the city where if you smile at someone the liklihood of getting one in return is decreased by approximately 50%. Nobody is coming up to you groping you and having sex with each other on the streets. Are there random people that just walk up to you and start to make out with you? Ya, happens in clubs in the city too. Is there sex there? Ya, but guess what – it happens outside of Burning Man too. There are homosexuals there. Guess what, there are outside of Burning Man too. I would personally never burn a bible and I do not turn my back on God. God did not create the evil things in this world, man made choices good or bad and all choices cause consequences. God gave everyone a brain and a choice, and all of us choose to do things, including you choosing to write a bunch of bs to get feel all powerful. If you in fact are a God fearing and loving man, why then do you write so much hate about your fellow brothers and sisters? You must not judge others as you are not God. There are sinners there as there are outside of Burning Man too. Burning Man is probably one of the most racially, sexually, religiously, culturally and humanly diverse places of absolute freedom but expected responsibility and respect to visit during your years on earth and while it does occur in America, people travel there from all over the world. One should be so lucky as to have experienced life the way you can experience it at Burning Man.

  186. Ben Dover

    Thank you for my life, and thank you for not making me a closed minded dipshit, who writes articles, in an attempt to gather support, to foster my defenses over my own insecurities…

    Drive safely,

  187. Love

    OH my and we have to share the world with authors like these… oh my… that’s where we learn compassion!

  188. Ignorant monkey toes

    You sir are why people hate christians. Grow up please as you are offending people with the idiotic garbage that spews out of your ignorant hate riddled mind. Remember that you are what you put out to the world and what you are putting out is just plain and simply a whole lot of nasty rotten fecal matter.

  189. Louis

    OMG! You stupid bible thumpers. You are so ignorant and lifeless. You can’t even spell “bumble bees” right. I’ve been to Burning Man and had the most amazingly wonderful experience of my life, met the most amazing, beautiful people there and seen some of the most amazing art and talent ever. I have traveled the world over and I believe anyone with a soul needs to experience this. You all must really be burning in self hell thinking this is what goes on.Maybe some of you need a good toke of weed and a good butt fuck in public to put you in the right track. What fucking hole is your head stuck in. Wow feel so sorry for you. God put us here to have experiences and LIVE

  190. Simon

    Love the article. You should do the PR for the event!

    I’ll Definitely be Going along!!

    Oh and btw… I’m a catholic.

    1. Bruce Danus

      Why would Tyson do “P.R.” for this sin fest? The billions of actual Christians, not Catholic devil whores, who come to this website understand that when Tyson says “stay away” he means “God will give you A.I.D.S. if you go”. I will pray for you to not gets the Gay, Simon. Good luck.

  191. John

    The revealing thing about this article is that it revolves around Christianity VS Burning Man and STDs Cases. Fine. State your case, but the “Christian” argument hardly seems Christian. If Burning Man folks are sinning, is it up to non-Burning Man folks to point the finger, or is it up to God? Correct me if I am wrong, but I venture the Bible would say: Up to God…NOT that the official version of the Bible is the last word on right or wrong, but that is the position of the article.

    Swapping STDS and animal sacrifices does not have my vote. (If it’s even true, and I do not know). However, I do know that the article seems (in my view) homophobic and one-sided. It fails to mention any of the benefits of celebrating togetherness in celebration of creativity and art, not to mention the inclination of Burning Man to inspire non conformity. The article’s gross, one-sided, oversight sounds fallacious if not malicious. Here’s a blurb taken from the article:

    Pretty much if you asked a gps to look for a group of ugly people…Besides the copious amounts of fecal flinging, sex addicted homosexuals, the clown dressed midgets and bath salt sniffing hippies, you can see a wide variety of God hating sinners.

    Irony: Jesus probaly resembles a hippy more than the person who wrote this article!!!

  192. Nick

    You guys do a great job of proving church going folk are not only stupid but also bigots. People of the church or the most hateful, ignorant and blind to the truth group of people on the planet. I love how you bible thumping morons claim to know more than scienists about aids. Aids did not come from Africa. Get your heads out of your rectums and educate yourself on the real world. You fantasy made up stories and HATE you spread is a disgrace to man kind. If there was a god he would hate all of you for your incompetence.

    “The origin of AIDS and HIV has puzzled scientists ever since the illness first came to light in the early 1980s. For over twenty years it has been the subject of fierce debate and the cause of countless arguments, with everything from a promiscuous flight attendant to a suspect vaccine programme being blamed. So what is the truth? Just where did AIDS come from?

    The first recognised cases of AIDS occurred in the USA in the early 1980s (more about this period can be found on our History of AIDS page). A number of gay men in New York and California suddenly began to develop rare opportunistic infections and cancers that seemed stubbornly resistant to any treatment. At this time, AIDS did not yet have a name, but it quickly became obvious that all the men were suffering from a common syndrome.

    The discovery of HIV, the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, was made soon after. While some were initially resistant to acknowledge the connection (and indeed some remain so today), there is now clear evidence to prove that HIV causes AIDS. So, in order to find the source of AIDS, it is necessary to look for the origin of HIV, and find out how, when and where HIV first began to cause disease in humans.”

  193. john luu

    Hmmmm….. religion is a sham, a crutch for weak minded people, who get comfort in gathering in great numbers where there worship of a non-existent God becomes a cult session. There is no “GOD” no Allah and no the Muslim martyrs will not ride golden horses up to heaven to meet the 72 virgins waiting for them………Islam is the biggest bullshit religion and a sham, and does not make sense and any new writings in the Qur’an trump the old ones so this book can continually be updated with more Islamic bullshit. Its all shitte

  194. Decent Person

    Bloody hell. You lot make me ashamed to be a decent human being.

    Like any extremist brainwashed group, some of the so-called “Christian” views seen here are absolutely disgusting. Never seen so much racist, homophobic claptrap in all my life.

    When will the day come that we stop believing in magical men in the sky, come out of our caves and recognise that we – human beings – are marvellous in our own right, and it’s nothing to do with a supernatural construct we created thousands of years ago, to explain why the sun sets. Maybe then we can stop all the stupid wars and bigotry and actually begin to better ourselves.

    Meanwhile – you guys are idiots. Fundamental extremism is NEVER justified. You really are just a bunch of bigots – and if you are looking for things that are evil and misguided, I’d suggest you start by taking a good long look into a mirror.

  195. me


  196. MR. C

    I enjoyed this article SO much. Thank you thank you thank you! I could never have written such comedy. Brilliant work. Drummed and based. too good.

  197. SitOnMyLapImPriestKids

    What a load of shit and i have to applaud the way Christians like to make things sound so bad and have to add the extra touch of bullshit to make it sound that little bit worse Christians are sinners themselves for believing in the bible its a remade piece of crap lets sum Christianity up in a small sentence more people have died waving a christian banner over many many years so it makes Hitler killing the Jews look amateur religion is the stone age people are moving forward as we the human race evolve and slowly exterminating its existence life would be better off without folk tale probably better off believing in batman at least there is some proof of him being real.


    This is Jesus I’m with Satan, we have been talking it over and came up with the conclusion – YOUR ALL FUCKED! It matters no more which religion you follow, what colour your skin is, what you do with your skin snake or sin hole, if your a clown dressed midgets or a bath salt sniffing hippie, or if you wear Old Navy hot pants, Hot Topic fish nets and cut up Dirty Shirty bosom tops, we give up!! Please no more pryers, no more God this, Satan that, Jesus this. Heaven has closed its doors! Hell is full! It was fun while it lasted. good luck and so long.
    Your newly free from your whining Gods
    Jesus and Satan

  199. thirteendollabill

    Hey Hi Ho!

    If this site is NOT a satire of Christian thought, you people are in the wrong biznezz. (I’ve always said if I had fewer morals I’ve been a preacher – free sex, obedient soldiers, FREE MONEY!)

    ANYhoo, like you, I’ve never been to burning man (the room service there leaves something to be desired) but I spend most of my time with burner folk. If they’re spreadin’ disease to the teens, they’re doing it by mail, Bruce Edwards Ivins stylee. They’re way too busy screwing each other, and praising Allah, Jesus, Booodha, Satan, and all the other gods and goddesses to infect children in person.

    Yours In Christ’s Mouth,

  200. jessica

    HAHAA!!!!!! Hilarious. Obviously, the author has never been. This could not possibly be more inaccurate. Talk about spreading fear and hate…. you’ve got it ALL WRONG.

  201. Justin Narbot

    What are you stupid liberal hippies talking about? This is exactly what the Burning Man Festival was like. I got 6 different STDs at the STD party! I didnt even ask for the HPV that was just a bonus. As for poop slinging? More like poop eating! I chowed on so much duke that week Satan himself would be proud. It took about a month of church to pray the gay away afterwards, but hay its a choice after all. There were also a lot of colored savages having sex with apes, but crossing over to animals? NO WAY! I said. I’ll stick to the little boys like all the respectable priests and pastors. Jesus was there to slappin me up with some mean high fives as we Eiffel towered some midgets in bikinis.

  202. A Burner

    Wow! The only explanation to this nonsense is that 1) this must be a joke, or 2) the author is mentally disabled ie retarded!

  203. V Kat

    I just read this and had to laugh at the sheer ignorance and stupidity of the author….and to be honest some of the replies. How can someone comment on something that they quite obviously never have been to? ‘Oh man I don’t understand this….it must be Satan’s work!!!!’ C’mon admit your stupid…..oh and I think I saw your mum there BTW

  204. ErB

    wow. is this website real?
    i am continuously suprised by how pathetically stupid religion makes people.

    and for the record, you have to believe in God (which few at B.M. do) before you can worship Satan. both seem equally retarded to me.

  205. J slippery

    This article is very passionately written and I for one am a fan of passion.

    I do, however have some ?’s i would like answered:

    Does black magic really exist? If anyone has any insights about black or white magic I’d be very interested…

    Also, can one get high off bath salt? I believe this could be a cheap alternative if true… please let me know

    finally… this one is for the author:

    Did you want to go to Burning Man 2011?
    (passionate and imaginative people are welcome and the theme is ‘rights of passage’. I truly think with your religious background you would fit right in :) )

    “you may say that i am a dreamer… but at least i don’t make stuff up and try to pawn it off as somewhat factual just to express my opinion” -John Lennon

  206. Pingback: What is Steampunk? | ChristWire

  207. jojo

    the writer of this article needs to learn how to spell and use proper grammar BEFORE he is even allowed to write anything at all… What has the world come to…

  208. Noelle

    What a bunch of sick lies you have concocted here. Shame on you for trying to pass off this fiction as truth. You have clearly never been, nor have you done any research on this on this subject. Go to to their website and you will see how many basic facts you are incorrect about, not to mention all the weird assumptions you have made. YOU are the creepy one for writing such odd accounts. God is everywhere, then he is especially out at Burning Man. We see him in the art, the love, and the BM community that reaches out to the rest of the world with charitable humanitarian projects year round. SHAME ON YOU FOR YOUR LIES! If you are so far from the truth on this topic, how can your word ever be trusted on anything. Give up writing and find an HONEST profession in which God could actually be proud of you!





  210. Rev Random the anti theme

    Frankly I’m disappointed by how much attention you are giving this manipulatively skilled individual. I understand what is being defended here, but you fail to see this message has succeeded in getting you engaged in his game. We know what we have on the playa, and there’s no heed to defend it. Rise above.

  211. Darnel Williams

    This is the most entertaining thing i’ve ever heard about… I love satan worship, gay sex, mass murder, rape, and drugs… thanks for letting me know about such an amazing place… I look forward to going next year. hopefully i can find some other niggers like myself to disembowel all you scared white Christians so we can have sex with your dead bodies. I smell a blood orgy!

    seriously… if this person is serious it just shows how ignorant some people are…
    Leave us alone and go back to mindlessly worshiping the over stimulated capitalist christian ideals that are killing this planet.


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