Lesbianism comes down to one thing. Attention. Any leshomo you speak with, will tell you she has a bad upbringing or was not popular in school (usually made up, so people will feel sorry for them). A small percent of women who choose to be lesbian were abused by a homosexual child crazy male or most likely a homosexual feminist female when they were younger. Most are just spoiled kids who want to attention, so they try and do the most outrageous thing possible. The purposely embarrass their parents, complain about how they are treated and other false situations they claim to happen but at the same time enjoy all this negative attention. This is why most leshomos try and have a rebel sassy anti-social attitude.
Lesbians come in many forms and we should point out each one so you can keep yourself informed and protect from these hairy bullet wound loving sinners.
House Mom Lesbian:
A lesbian who wants to pretend she is fit for motherhood and likes to play the part as a wholesome chatty Kathy. This one is very hard to identify, as they will pretend to act like every other mother on the block. They wear mom jeans, will cover her milksacs, but is making a agenda of when the husbands leave for work and when they come home. You will see this type at soccer games, school events, community functions, but never has a child with them. What they are trying to do is make “friends” with other wives, so they will invite them over for coffee. When they are allowed in the house they will try and make passes at a man’s wife and try to pressure them into performing female tongue mouth sex acts. If she doesn’t get her way she will do one of two things. Rape your wife and make her feel to ashamed to tell anyone or say she is a hate of gays and make it look like the humble house wife did something wrong.
Model Lesbian
This labia lover likes to stalk her pray in a different way. They will use their sassy hot looks, sinful dresses and lipstick to entice a husband with devil brainwashing to have sex with them and then tell their wives about it. Once the red lipstick leshomo breaks the news to the house wife, they will use that women’s anger and tell her that they should get back at their husband by having sex with them. Women are easy to confuse and easy to make them do things that go against proper beliefs. The house wife will fall for this tactic even knowing it is wrong, but her anger will take over and will allow the model lesbian to perform sexual deviant acts on her that you would only see in a liberal made porn. The lesbian doesn’t have to worry about getting in trouble as she has cause enough chaos to leave the crime scene unquestioned. Mission accomplished. Break up a family and get her kicks at the same time.
Chunky Man Hater
The fat ones are always the loudest. This leshomo blames her eating problems on the world. They hate men for not liking them and instead of thinking it might be due to their over obese waist line. This type of fatso is always seen with another homo heifer, as no man would want to deal with their laziness, their morbid bodies and their loud mouths. Chunky men haters don;t see that the problem is them. I doubt they would still like other fat women (well it’s the only thing out their for them) if they got off their rumps and walked a few miles and put down the ho hos. They also usually have tattoos of tigers or some other animal on them. Funny they are the size of large animals and like to tattoo themselves with large animals.
Lesbro
This is a lesbian who is kind of the same as a chunky man hater. They love men, that is way they try and do everything men do. They know they will never get a man to marry them, so the closest thing they can get is to hang out with lots of men. The lesbro is usually overweight, dates other overweight swamp cave lovers, tries to talk in a deep voice and is always hanging out with men. If they “love” women so much, why do they spend 90% of their time trying to be sweaty with other men? This doesn’t make any math. The lesbro will be so in aw with men, that 65% of the time they will have sex change operations.
Afro-gay
Afro gay is a choosing to be gay brown women who was disowned by her community for dating white men or is so made at afro-saxon men brainwashing and dating white women, they try to embarrassing their community by becoming lesbian.
Think I’m Saved Lesbian
This is a women who use to play with plastic torpedoes with other women and then realizes she is close to her death bed. They realize they won’t be able to get into heaven, so they try and play it off as they were confused and rush to the nearest man to now and try to look clean and humble in front of God. They try and act like their past is not a part of them and they shouldn’t be judged for their horrible and vile behavior. News flash! Their past is made up of their choices, just like choosing to be gay and they will be judge and punished for their actions. This type of scum will try to re introduce herself into the normal lifestyle by pretending to be a good wife and make sure to mingle with their husband’s friends and wives, while fighting the urge to play mind games on other women. If you have a buddy who lets you know his wife use to be a fish worshiper, cut off all ties right there. You will be guilty by association.
If being a homo women is a choice then why do they force their beliefs on young college women? Why do they adopt babies and dress them up in gay clothing and drag them to gay parades? Why do they blame all their problems on the world instead of taking responsibility for themselves? Funny how I can never get answers to these questions.
I’ve had a few run ins with the chunky man hater in my day. The thing I will never understand about the lesbian is how they copulate. Not that I want details, but obviously God created us with a specific design in mind and they simply lack the right equipment.
I deal with that type and the Model Lesbian type everyday out here. I do know they use plastic men parts and call that sex or love making. So vile!
Stop being so dense. Lesbians use toys, fingers, and their tongues to stimulate their lover’s vagina and clitoris.
Finally admitting you’re a lesbian who needs attention?
Why would I admit to something that I’m not? Just because I happen to know how lesbians have fun with one another does not make me one. Billings seems to know a lot about the gay lifestyle and how they supposedly like rough sex against bathroom walls – does that make him gay?
Billings is proof of evolution. He is the missing link between a monkey and an ape. A homosexual, pedophile ape. lol
Do you go both ways Claire? Because you know, that’s hot!
Must you always be so biological, Claire?
Would you rather I have said “to stimulate their lover’s sin hole and separator flap”?
How dare she prove how the body works! It should be falsified with lies like how there’s a separator flap for gas and babies and how we don’t have sperm, we have little golems living in our bodies, waiting to be pushed into a woman!
Riiiiiiiiight.
Which kind is your mom?
My mother died when I was young. That was a very hateful comment.
I sent your mom to a special place in hell for giving birth to you. lol.
With the things you say about gays, lesbians, women, blacks, Asians, atheists, liberals, Hispanics, and everyone else who isn’t a Christian white male, you deserve any and all hate that comes towards you.
You reap what you sow. What is it about that saying that you and Billings fail to comprehend?
SO much hatred from such a little girl… It must bring tears to your mothers eyes to remember the time when you were an innocent school girl who played with dolls… Now you’ve become some black booted thug kicking down the old men of the internet.
“SO much hatred from such a little girl”
I’m 20. I’m not longer a “little girl”, you old pervert.
“It must bring tears to your mothers eyes to remember the time when you were an innocent school girl who played with dolls… Now you’ve become some black booted thug kicking down the old men of the internet.”
Once again, you’re making assumptions. In real life I’m nothing like I am on the internet. I still kiss my parents goodnight, for crying out loud! I also wear white hospital nursing sneakers, not black boots. I’ve never worn black boots in my life. And you and Tyson deserve to be kicked down. Shall I say it again? YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
//It must bring tears to your mothers eyes to remember the time when you were an innocent school girl who played with dolls//
Her mother must be proud that Claire can stand for herself with information instead of being a whiny bitch like you. Guess that’s why your mother doesn’t love you.
Oh Claire! We all pray for you, you know. Some day! Some day you will see the light! I just feel it in my bones! God bless, little one.
If she wants to burn in hell, after all you’ve done to save her, I say let her! It just means more God for the rest of us, Amen.
How hateful can you be. Let the passed rest in peace. It is very evil to speak such words to those who are no longer with us and you should feel ashamed.
Yo faggot go tell that to your friends at the westboro church…
I am the son of god, lol, I can say whatever I want.
Major Cause of Lesbianism/Sapphism: Men like Tyler
Good thing you didn’t know the whore, then.
I knew her, as I know all of my hatchlings. She had sex with Satanatops, which gave birth to the abomonation known as Tyson.
So that’s why you are such a vicious hate-filled being. That’s no excuse to attack women minding their own damn business. People like you give a bad name to Christians. You know, matter of fact go to a pride parade…you will be received well. We are all is this together, there’s no sense in you spreading your lies and nonsense. I as a bisexual woman cannot stand your idiocy.
I could tell you were a “bi-sexual”, by your lack of sentence structure. Seems like you can’t even be sure about anything in your life. You like playing on both teams to see who wins?
I wouldn’t make comments about other peoples sentence structure when your “article” is riddled with typos, misspellings, and grammatical errors. According to you, you could tell they were “a “bi-sexual”, by [their] lack of sentence structure,” so are you bi-sexual because you don’t know the difference between the words “women” and “woman?” No! You can’t tell if someone is gay, straight, lesbian, transgendered, bi-sexual, or anything else based on sentence structure… unless I really missed something when I was learning to diagram sentences in high school. Maybe I was just sick they day we went over “What your sentence structure says about your sexuality.”
And for Christ’s sake… it is called a VAGINA, not a “fish cave,” or any other degrading word you can come up with.
“The Many Classes of Fish Cave Worshiping Leshomos”
…I admit I thought you were talking about a Jewish rock band for a sec there.
“Lesbians come in many forms”
Yeah, you do know we all come in different forms, right?
“They realize they won’t be able to get into heaven, so they try and play it off as they were confused and rush to the nearest man to now and try to look clean and humble in front of God.”
How would you know this? Have you ever met any lesbian like that>
Oh right, your just a crazed old man. Question answered.
“If being a homo women is a choice then why do they force their beliefs on young college women?”
They don’t.
“Why do they adopt babies and dress them up in gay clothing and drag them to gay parades?”
They don’t.
“Why do they blame all their problems on the world instead of taking responsibility for themselves?”
They. Don’t.
“Funny how I can never get answers to these questions.”
No, people answer your questions. Your just too thick-headed to hear them.
Okay, Tyson and Billings, Where in the bible does it say that I am not a Raptor?
You’re a spammer filled with hate
No Tyson, I am spreading the good news of Raptor. All those who doubt the word of raptor, know that the velocarapture will soon be upon you. If you worship false gods, like Allah-saurus, you will be sent to the realm of the evil Satanatops. Only if you accept me as your lord and savior, will you be saved.
Raptor, you totally made my day.
So hilarious!
The author of this site has a little too much time on his hands. I’m trying to estimate how much hate it takes to take this much time to vilify people who have a conservative opinion and/or are Christians.
This is my first and last time here. This poorly conceived parody is a waste of time. Again, I can’t imagine how much inner crap is needed to fuel this much ill will. Good luck trying to untangle your innards with a good therapist, lad.
Just an FYI to people that comment on here daily about how these people are dense and what not…this website is a JOKE. It’s made for comic relief, you know to make people laugh. I just stumbled across this today and was lmao when i noticed some of the comments flaming the authors…why? It is clearly a joke making fun of real Christian extremists like Westboro Baptist Church and others. People that take this seriously…I am sorry you really don’t need to take this literally…It is clearly a joke website. Laugh at it, show it to your friends, let them laugh at it..because its a JOKE.
The work of the journalists here follows closely in line with other Christian thinkers of today. From Dr. James Dobson, to Tony Perkins of the Family Resources Council, to Beverly LaHaye of Concerned Women for America, to Rev. Jerry Falwell, Eugene Delgaudio, Msgr. Charles Pope, Rev. Brian Fischer and many others. You assume we are in the minority, but you fail to see the upswell of Christian conservativism in this country. We are here and we’re not going anywhere. Save you conspiracy theories and your hostility for the lefty message boards, my friend.
You see? you question the teachnigs of the reverand and he smites you with the learning! CHristwire is a fount of knowledge i just wish one day to speak with the auhtority of his wisdom.
“We are here and we’re not going anywhere. Save you conspiracy theories and your hostility for the lefty message boards, my friend.”
We love you my child:
‘And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
Philippians 1:6
(NLT)
I really do appreciate your support, my friend. It’s always good to know that we share values across state lines and across the globe!
Careful there Billings. Don’t get sucked into a liberal secularist trap. “Debonair” is a french word, meaning the male apparatus at full extension. He’s obviously trying to trick you into saying something like, “My good friend Mr. Debonair” or some such.
You do know, don’t you, that Jesus never mentions homosexuality in the New Testament? And if it was such a sin, wouldn’t God have made it one of the Ten Commandments? Also, not all “conservatives” are haters like you.
@ Making Everyone Aware:
Read my comment above again. Carefully. You see, I agree that it is a humor/parody site, but I’m wondering about what fuels someone to spend SO MUCH TIME setting up this site in order to mock conservatives and/or Christians. Who messed with the host of this site when he was a kid that he would turn so much hate on the people he mocks here? Just stating the obvious. I’m not “taking this literally”, I’m seeing the person behind the parody and I’m mindboggled at the passion that caused him to want to do this. I get the humor on the one hand; do you understand that someone who would do this is twisted around inside in much the same way (but opposite) as the people he mocks? I’m just saying…
@whatever h. christ says:
How DARE you suggest that the good denizens of this most upstanding site have been ‘messed around with’ i have never been tampered with and have happy memories of summer bible camp and sitting on varous padres knees without any ‘Catholic tickling’!!
cleanse you mind my son..
‘let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.’
Matthew (ch. XV, v. 14)
Bravo Brother T – “Afro gay is a choosing to be gay brown women who was disowned by her community for dating white men or is so made at afro-saxon men brainwashing and dating white women, they try to embarrassing their community by becoming lesbian.”
Its crystal clear to me…
Hey Tyson Check this out.
all I see is victimes of the gaygenda..
I pray that this will not come back to haunt them at there heteroosexual weddings in future – i forgive them, for they know not what they do…For after all, is our political system not baseed on such justification as this:
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”
Isaiah 1:18,
and heres another tragic example of the highschool brainwasihng we tolerate nowadays..
Luke 6:27
“But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.” (KJV)
“We all pray for you, you know.”
Despite the fact that I’ve told you multiple times NOT to?
“Some day! Some day you will see the light!”
Keep up your obnoxious antics and I’ll become a Satanist, instead. Just watch.
“I just feel it in my bones!”
What you’re referring to as “bones”, you probably mean “joints”, in which case what you’re feeling is arthritis.
“God bless, little one.”
Fuck you, old man.
i love you claire. you say everything i want to say to these fuckers.
you’re fucken awesome
Claire, we can all see through your tantrums. The truth is there, embrace it!
“Claire, we can all see through your tantrums. The truth is there, embrace it!”
Tantrums? You mean like this?
“CLAIRE YOUR DUMB COMMENTS CANNOT INTIMIDATE ME AND I KNOW WHAT IM DOING SO STOP GETTING ME RILED UP SO YOU CAN GET PAGE HITS OR COMMENTS OR WHATEVER ITS LOOKING SO DEPSERTE YOU PART I CANY HARDLY TELL WHAT THE WORLD IS TO YOU FILKS NO PLEASE ANSWER ME THAT SO ENOUGH? I AM JUST TIRED AND SICK OF YOU ALL SHOWING NO LOVE, NO KINDNESS NO WISDOM.”
Why won’t you let us love you?
For the same reason you won’t let Satan love you.
Why would we want people who hate what we love to love us?
You are not showing love and wisdom to others so what did you expect?people to be embracing you with open arms?
1 of my good friends is a lesbian and has never claimed to have had a bad up bringing or not be popular in school she’s actually pretty happy go lucky she doesn’t trick people into having sex with her she goes on dates and does the whole dating thing just like very one else same with a girl i went to school with moms lesbians aren’t some dark force that tries to trick people into dating them
Lies!
LMFAO!!
These guys are hilarious! I love this site. Not a shred of journalism anywhere
“Lies!”
How do you know if they are lies or not? Let me guess,they are lies because YOU say them to be irregardless of the truth or not?
People like you are the reason innocents get hurt..
“If being a homo women is a choice then why do they force their beliefs on young college women?”
1. it’s not a choice.¨2. being christian is a choice. why are you alowed to force that on us when we don’t want that either. it is no difrent. so acording to you all christianity must be banned form school and óther oub lic places. the kids might see it you know.
WOOOOOT THE POWER OF THE FUCKING CLAM <3
as much as i love penis 
VAGINAAAAAAAAA PUSSSY CUNT
im straight, but i love lesbians
Everyone knows there’s only one kind of “brown leshomo”.
Whoever wrote this post must really dislike having to come into any close proximity to nasty labia and fish caves.
The more I look through your website, the more inclined I am to believe that this is nothing but a joke site. If so, you got us good. Real good.
Either they are godly trolls, or they are fucked up in the head.
it doesn’t matter either way, there are people who read these articles as facts and BELIEVE them and its just promoting Christian extremists to come out of the woodwork. Whether or not the site is satire its still fueling the flames of hate and should be stopped. We will all be laughing at this site while neo nazi groups and the Westboro Baptist church decide to blow something up or genocide off a group of people.
And it will be partially our fault.
it is probably the latter
Cool story bro.
If christianity is about choice why do yuo force it on your children?
ughh! that is martha stewart in the first picture!
she is not a lesbian!
I’m disappointed, you guys. No mention of this up-and-“cum”er to the Lesbian world?
The Trans-Dyke
With the rise of the gender revolution and the increased visibility of the transgender & transsexual rights movements, more and more trans women are casting off the need to sleep with men to justify their existence. Thus enters the trans lesbian – sometimes nicknamed transbian or transdyke.
A complete anomaly of sex and gender presentation, the transdyke is often misunderstood. In some occasions, transbians will seek out other transbians, with or without regard to surgical status, as we are often stigmatized by the straight trans community as much as the non-trans gay communities.
I expected better! (As a medically-certified transdyke, I am available for interviews upon request 😉