America is broke and American has a illegal Mexican problem. I have a few ideas on how we can kill two birds with one stone.
Remember when you were a child and you would go to the Christian carnival? Do you remember your local pastor setting up fun games for you to play that cost a couple of tickets? Well I think we should take some of these games and modify them.
Idea One: Wet Down the Wetback
This idea would require us to build a large wall across our border, but have one part be a high chain link fence. On one side of the fence we would have high powered water guns and on the other side would be dirty Mexicans trying to climb the fence as fast as they could without being blasted off. The guns would cost $5 a minute. Here is a digital concept.
Idea Two: Whack the Wetback
This idea is quite fun. We could make large concert walks with little holes in them that the refried rice bean would have to crawl through. We would charge 5$ to people and they would have large hammers. They would sit and wait for a tortilla tosser to pop their head out and whack them really hard.
Idea Three: Dunk a Juan
By far my favorite! This one will take some work but would be quite fun to play with the grand kids. We would round up any illegals caught the night before and slap them in a dunk tank. The dunk tank would have a tube that once the border jumpers get dunked, the would get sucked out to the Gulf. You would pay $2 a ball.
Idea Four: Tower of Sombreros
Got a good arm? Think you can knock down more than “Juan” Mexican? Step right up and take your best shot at knocking down not just 5 but 15 Rio Grande Salmon. This idea, we would take a group of 15 illegals and stack them on top of eachother. Once they were knocked down by one of those work out balls (which are $5 a ball) they would crash into a innertube, like the ones you see at water parks and be ejected out to sea.
As you can see, keeping the borders can be fun! I hope you share my passion to keeping our country “spick” and span.
This is the best idea that anyone has ever had…EVAR! It’s just a shame there aren’t enough Mexicans to make any of these games worth playing…also illegals are generally going to go through the part of the border where they will be least likely to be humiliated. Also, the border is 5,000 miles long which would require hundreds of billions of dollars to build and no amount of carnival games will account for the deficit. Also, you’re fucking retarded.
Those are a violation of human rights.
p.s. Why do I highly doubt that these ideas and the pictures that accompany them are your own?
…These is some shockingly racist and anti-christen suggestions you have thought up here man.
I would certainly agree with this as being racist.
But anti-Christian? I wouldn’t say so. Perhaps you hail from the minor decent Christian group, but this is the sort of behavior that I have come to expect from people claiming to be Christians. And I have been around. Hmm… funny that the only decent Christian church that I have ever been to happened to be in Alaska and it was run by…. Mexicans. How about that? Otherwise, I see Christian building muti-million dollar churches every few years like we buy new cars. I see, within these churches, the people gathering together and forming cliques and subtley attacking other members. I see them getting into politics to subvert the seperation of church and state (Utah is a prime example). I see them chastising people constantly when they use “foul” language (why do we have foul language? What make it foul?). I see them teach shame to people about their sexuality and their bodies (a law in Florida states that the top of a womans blouse or bathing suit cannot extend below the top of the nipple nor above the bottom of the breast. The bottom of the breast? Come on? Have we ever asked ourselves what our problem is with breasts?). I see them ostracize and shun their own family members. I could also go on into negritude and colonialism, but I won’t. If you, as a Christian, are not like this then you are forward thinking and progressive. But there aren’t many like you. Perhaps you can bring Christianity into the twenty-first century, but I doubt it. People like those here keep it in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries.
Saying Mexicans are from Mexico is racist???
Calling them wetbacks is.
Making fun of their language is.
Saying that they inherently do not deserve to be in America is.
“refried rice bean” ““spick” and span.” “tortilla tosser” you’re a waste of flesh.
Oh my God… To say you’re a moron would be a gross understatement…
This is VERY unchristian-like behavior… or is it? Probably why I’m ashamed to call myself a Christian. Need to recheck your ethics and grow up.
LMFAO This is amazingly stupid.
You are adorable in your bigotry. C’mon kid. Lets walk, lets talk.
I swear, this site has to be satire.
“This idea would require us to build a large wall across our border, but have one part be a high chain link fence. On one side of the fence we would have high powered water guns and on the other side would be dirty Mexicans trying to climb the fence as fast as they could without being blasted off. The guns would cost $5 a minute.”
Do you know how hard it would be (and how much money it would cost) to build a wall? We have more important things to deal with. And don’t even get me started with the Great Wall of China. These are two completely different concepts, even though they’re aiming for the same thing.
“This idea is quite fun. We could make large concert walks with little holes in them that the refried rice bean would have to crawl through. We would charge 5$ to people and they would have large hammers. They would sit and wait for a tortilla tosser to pop their head out and whack them really hard.”
One word: assault. Not only would this be against the law, but it would gain an even worse reputation as a country to treat foreigners. If you want peace in the U.S., this idea is terrible, and it’s just stupid in general.
“By far my favorite! This one will take some work but would be quite fun to play with the grand kids. We would round up any illegals caught the night before and slap them in a dunk tank. The dunk tank would have a tube that once the border jumpers get dunked, the would get sucked out to the Gulf. You would pay $2 a ball.”
I’m still trying to comprehend how this is even possible. So there’s a dunk tank, and people are trying to dunk Mexicans. When they get dunked, some suction power somehow vaccums them all the way up to the Gulf of Mexico and dumps them in there. This would have to be electrically powered, most likely. It’s easily not worth the effort, and definitely not worth the energy wasted. Again, it would ruin our reputation with other countries.
“Got a good arm? Think you can knock down more than “Juan” Mexican? Step right up and take your best shot at knocking down not just 5 but 15 Rio Grande Salmon. This idea, we would take a group of 15 illegals and stack them on top of eachother. Once they were knocked down by one of those work out balls (which are $5 a ball) they would crash into a innertube, like the ones you see at water parks and be ejected out to sea.”
This is just dumb. You say that like they wouldn’t even try to escape. I really hope you’re drunk when you write these articles. Also, when they fall behind them, what makes you think they’d fall onto the inner tubes? And it would take hundreds of thousands (probably millions) of wasted dollars, just to build a river that could transport the Mexicans there. And they can just get off the inner tubes if they need to (unless… of course… you build a tunnel surrounding the river, but that would be even more unnecessary money wasted).
And when I say things about America losing its reputation, it’s important. More attacks, like 9/11, would occur. Allies of Mexico would strike, causing America to be an easy target.
I wish people thought these things out better.
and people still Wonder why they see american as stupid and why they are Losing more popular support from other country ?
yes let’s save the economy by building a fence that will probalably cost all of our tax money from this year….and half of next year…and be buildt by the mexicans…. and would need to be guarded anyway all over the boarder. seriously do you have any idea how long the american mexican boarder is? you are a dumbass
Yeah brother! This will teach em!
Be fun for the kids too!
And exactly where would all this magical money be coming from? From Americans! Hmm…taking money from citizens to help run the country…sounds a lot like…TAXES!!
How do you even sleep at night?
I bet your from Arizona.
Holy shit, the only thing more ridiculous than this article (and website) is the number of people who think its serious. Fucking satire people, get a sense of humour.
I come here nearly every day.
The best part is the comments…
first of : poe’s law. if you don’t know it look it up.
second if you are refering to the regular “liberal bashers” we are( well can only speak for myself bu i asume) all aware it’s satire. but the funnies part is not the article it is the following discusions in the coment section. and unless we give them something to work with that part would sadly die. consider it interactive satire.
This is kind of ridiculously absurd. Satire or not, its people you’re talking about. They have human rights just like everyone else. The fact that this is posted on a site that would take this seriously is a whole other matter in itself. Had you really wanted a satirical effect, perhaps The Onion would have been a better place. The fact that it was posted here shows real dislike toward a fellow human being. Your satire is too near sincere. It makes people uncomfortable.
I’m a solider of God and I walk in his light to do his bidding!
one hellova god u got there….
ive seen these pic before..it was made by some indians but the mexican ones are actually whithes….did u edit it?
This is reminiscent of Anti-Semite Nazi propaganda. No, really. It is. This is sick. It’s beyond hatred. It’s one of the least Christian things I’ve ever seen. You say you’re a soldier of God. Which God? Heimdall? It would certainly makes sense, what with you judging others and throwing them out of the “promised land.”
You’re a sick and evil individual. I pity you.
This is the most disgusting thing I have ever read. You are not a soldier of any god, especially the one you believe in. And I’m sure you will love burning in the hell your god has created especially for you.
Im sure this is what Jesus would do. I got a slogan for your idea! “America! where gods mentally handicapped are suppose to live NO DAMN MEXICANS ALLOWED!”
This isn’t satire. Satire would be something funny about charging them Pesos in the US, or maybe anything related to the Border Patrol.
Racist comments are racist comments, satire attempt or not.
What an idiot. This site is so fucking dumb i can’t stop looking at it.
I bet you take it in the ass like a retarded goat.
I would pay good money to shoot water pistols at them and send them swimming! Good work my friend amen.
1000 bucks per shot sound fair (need to have the fence cost covered)
oh and you gotta wait for the mexicans to crawl over where you are. might take a few months/years.
Tyson, you are such an imbecile!!! A child, you are (Not sounding like Yoda). You don’t appreciate diversity, thus you are an imbecile. Many immigrants from Mexico are successful, you know. Your plans are like some forms of sh*t from a Loony Toons episode… We should invest great money to have your house demolished.
Do you have any idea how insanely expensive that would be, with the current budget for stopping illegal immigration there can only be built a fence over a small part of the areas that illegal immigrants come through, also the climbing over fences to America is only a tiny portion of all of the methods used, most come to America legally but they overstay their welcome.
Tyson, the water gun fence is a great idea! Maybe when they try and climb it we can leave soap and shampoo by the fence so they can clean their dirty, dirty Mexican bodies! I wonder what Barack HUSSEIN Obama would have to say about that, but he’s probably a Mexican too (WHERE IS THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE???) so he surely wouldn’t like it!!!
Seriously, I hope you re-evaluate your thoughts & ideas. As you SHOULD know by now, even if you dropped out of school early, everyone in America is an immigrant besides the Native Americans. You’re ancestors would not have gotten you to this “FREE” country, if your ideas we’re implemented for all immigrants.
Yes, I do think illegal immigration is a problem & there are measures that should be taken to help immigrants to know how to legally come to America, but your ideas are NOT even remotely humorous or correct.
Your ideas are not Christian & should not even be published on this page. Christian law says to obey the Golden Rule & to Love your Neighbor as Yourself. Obviously you would not have wanted this done to your ancestors who came to American, and obviously you are NOT loving your neighbor as yourself.
There is another Christian Law I would also like to bring up: As we do unto others, God will do unto us. What would you do if God did this to you when you try to go to Heaven? You are saying Mexicans are not worthy to come to America, but what to do you have to justify it. I know we are not worthy enough to go to Heaven, but God still loves us and accepts us and allows us to be part of his Kingdom.
I want you to think about this. I want you to realize what you are saying and carefully think about how you are treating others. You are not in anyway showing God’s love to the world or being a good example.
Tyson what you have shown is that stopping illegal immigration is so simple a child could solver it, but that elements in the Obama gov’t secretly have no interest and need these gringoes for their votes since they exclusively trend demographic. Hence, the overfunded public schools and free health care which these sorts of people like.
On a side note, I see you’ve hired an intern! They are fantasitc and it’s always wonderful help with the graphics and kids are so good at these things. My young man is trying to build up his portfolio for college and works as a sort of apprentice.
Jesus said, “A New Commandment, I give onto you, that you love one another as I have loved you. By this, will others know that you are my disciples, that you have love for one another”.
You are no Christian. Your views are uneducated, you are a bigot.
A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices. The correct use of the term requires the elements of obstinacy, irrationality, and animosity toward those of differing opinion.
The term is also used to refer to persons hostile to people of differing race, ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, religion etc.
Wake up, it’s 2010, not 1950.
If you are serious about any of these ideas… holy **** you are stupid. Maybe the dunk tank would be kind of fun, but dude, this isn’t a ******* carnival. This is serious business.
I wont be coming back to this forum, so if you truly want to respond (no trolls please), email me at firstname.lastname@example.org (please excuse slightly disturbing name, it was a video-game nick name)
oh, i get it. this website is all a big joke. that’s funny. i was scared for a moment.
It’s sites like this that make me glad I rejected the Christian faith at a young age.
Are you all half retarded? The author is obviously using satire and mocking people’s assumptions that illegal immigration is a problem with an “instant remedy” by creating his own one-step-fix to the problem.
You’d think that, but even the Onion has limits. If these people truly are joking, then they have quite a sick sense of humor. Some lines shouldn’t be crossed when making a joke, and these people are way past that line.
of course they go past the line they are christian zelots (or at least pretending to be) who think they should control the thoughts of every person on this planet
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I have recently started a web site, and the info you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thanx for all of your time & work.
nay man, usually your shit is hilarious. Unfortunately, this article is just plain Kak… Nooit. I like satirical sites, but I’m sorry, this isn’t satire. Its just awful.
What novel ideas Brother Bowers! I can not put into words how much I would like to shoot mexicans with a giant water hose! What great fun! It would be like 6 Flags! But maybe we could just cal it 1 Flag as in the American flag.
Maybe we can work on that name.