New Device Encourages Parents to Rape Their Children’s Bum Area

Today is a sad day in the world. While looking online to find sites to shut down, I came across this demon object. A object that prompts parents to stick red tubes, shaped like stars and hearts into their child’s secret hole.

What sick people we have in this world!

The most hurtful part about it is, they try to cover it up as a way to make it look fun by saying their son or daughter will enjoy “pooping” out great shapes.

What they are really doing, is trying to make kids grow up with liking things inserted into their rear, so that when mister gay homo molester comes along and wants to stick his serpent member into them, it will seem ok and normal to them.

Why not make the shapes into rainbows and phallus”!?

55 thoughts on “New Device Encourages Parents to Rape Their Children’s Bum Area

  1. Jack

    You know this is a joke, right? The product doesn’t exist and isn’t in stores.

    Althought the idea is just wrong, it was created for pure shock value.

    1. Doo Doo

      You guys do realize that this article is a joke right. This Tyson Bowers Character probably doesn’t even exist. Have you read his other posts? It’s all a joke. Albeit rather dumb joke but…

  2. Lulz

    Real or fake the idea is seriously fucked up

    but congrats to tyson for an article where everone will agree, here you go tyson have a cake for your effort


  3. Adam Nelson

    I’m truly horrified and disgusted right now. This is THE EXACT type of thing we warned about when campaigning out in California last year for prop 8. If you let gay marriage happen, expect more sickening things like this. I’m absolutely livid right now.

    1. mamapeace

      You are joking, right? If not, you are completely irrelevant as a human being and need to seriously take a look at yourself. This has nothing to do with the way god made a person.

      1. Tyson Bowers IIICody Wing Post author

        I can see that another pack a queers has invaded ’round here.

        Cody Wing, Cowboy for Christ[img][/img]

        1. madasHamlet

          Now, THAT is a sexy, God-fearing cowboy! Yum. Could my Latin Catholic (and former US Navy) husband and I entice you for an evening of fun?

    2. Laura

      Fuck you. There is nothing wrong with gays and if they want to get married, good on them! Marriage is a huge commitment, and if a man wants to spend the rest of his days with the man he loves, what is wrong with that?
      I think it is quite beautiful, you sire, are just and arrogant fuck who should shut up.

  4. Jesus Christ

    Adam Nelson likes little boys. He’s pissed because his secret’s out.

    The fun shapes poster is a joke created, as Jack mentioned, for pure shock value.

    Jesus has spoken.

  5. Pingback: Fundie thinks Poopy-Time Fun Shapes is real « O Solo Mama

  6. Stav

    Maybe this guy has a genuine concern for the well-being of children? He obviously missed the joke, but I see no reason to give him so much Hell for it.

  7. Tyson Bowers III

    I’m a fucking retard who can’t understand what photoshop is! I don’t understand that they would never ever let something like this item on the market becuase I’m obviously an uneducated retard who sticks my penis in the bible when no ones looking! Whoo, look at me spraying the diareha of my brain across my brainwashed minions! Whooooo!

  8. Aaron

    After looking at Tyson’s other posts, I gotta wonder if his collection is a satire of Christian values. He obviously reddits and diggs. This site contains a bunch of other funny stuff. Is it all satirical?

    Keep em coming T-Dawg.

  9. Jesus

    I have read this, it is a fantastic device to teach kiddies of the pleasures of the “Secret Hole” as my friend Tyson Bowers III secretly loves.(its a pain to keep up appearances of dislike and oppostion for these things i know) but he has too, for he is a man of God.

    i am currently in South Africa enjoying dark brown secret holes.and preaching to #satanists on shadowfire.

  10. Yotsuba

    this site is satarical isnt it? you must realise that that poster is a joke, obviously something like that would never exist.

  11. Ronin

    I bought that for my two kids, they look forward to going to the bathroom so much now so that they can make fun shapes. Great product!


    This is an outrage!!!! Things like this prove that we are in fact living in the end of days and that our saviour Jesus Christ will soon be back to take all the believers away from the sick and disgusting world!!! Homosexuality, abortions, Barack Obama..all signs of the end..Repent now and be saved.

    1. Kayilleah

      Honestly I know this is reviving a dead post, but for the love of everything I can think of. You are a Bigoted ass. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality, just because you’re a closeted queer hidden in a world of self-loathing does not give you the rights to bash people just because of who they love. I must say based upon your outright need to demean people, many of which you probably haven’t met, I’d honestly say I’d prefer spending my time with them, at least -they- are capable of loving another. Same thing applies to your obvious dislike of anything that isn’t your race. Ignorance does not go far in this world. Educate yourself, it may be worth it.
      Finally keep God and Jesus out of your close minded posts. It’s idiots like you who give the rest of Chistian’s a bad name. Get over yourself and move on. If you truely believed in God you would love -everything- he created regardless of gender, color, and who they love. Get over yourself, you’re making no one sound more like an idiot than you.
      And this applies to all the other jackasses with similar posts I’ve found running around here. You people ought to be truely ashamed of yourselves.

  13. Joseph

    I find it pervert to the rectum a “secret hole”. Why do you call it secret? You want it to be secret? Like, there’s no talking about the butt-holes of people? Ever? Even if you happen to have a sickness and you need to talk to a doctor about it. You would just say “this secret place on my body that I can’t talk about”

  14. GayChristian

    Why do you have this tagged as gay? How is this related to gay people? Studies show that 95 percent of pedofiles are straight. What is wrong with you that you find a gay agenda in most everything? Are you struggling with your own sexuality and sexual demons?

  15. creationist

    every day i read this site, im leaning more in favour of troll

    i mean, can you be stupid enough to think of this as real?

  16. Meaddie Cook

    This is what homosexuals in California who adopt children use for potty training. No wrong there!

    Fawking Hilarious!!

  17. Will

    okay, i agree this is a weird idea but I am offended by the person who wrote this article when they said “mister gay homo molester” because just because someone is gay doesnt mean they molest people or children. I am gay myself and I would never think of doing such a vile act. Shame on you :(

  18. Tyson Bowers IIIIce Van Winkle Post author

    While I can see this is clearly useful when potty training time roles around for your stubborn tyke, the slippery slope to anal play can cause irreparable damage to your child’s future sex life style choice.

    1. madasHamlet

      Really? Because “the slippery slope to anal play” certainly has made my marriage stronger. And prevented an unaffordable number of children in this economy. Unless you are of the school of thought that happily married couples shouldn’t pleasure each other unless they’re intending to have children.

  19. Michael

    ok you guys a fucking dumbasses if you thing this is really take the thing out of your ass, guess i know you like it, and stick it in your mouth. that is where the shit is coming out off. it is a joke…AND SHUTTING DOWN SITES…WHERE THE FUCK IS FREE SPEECH FUCK HEAD?!?!?!

  20. gregori

    I saw this some where else and wondered for a second weather it was real or not. Well then I read this article and wondered if the author was trolling

  21. Laura

    I agree this is sick, but it is not necessarily teaching kids to (and I quote you here) “grow up with liking things inserted into their rear, so that when mister gay homo molester comes along and wants to stick his serpent member into them, it will seem ok and normal to them.”
    That entire sentence is bullshit and you know it. And Serpent member? C’mon, are you like five years old? IT’S CALLED A PENIS!

    Again, I do believe this is strange.

    Quick question. You look for sites to shut down? Are you fucking kidding me? It’s not for you to determine what sites should be shut down or not! Get a life. Sounds to me like you are judging these websites. Doesn’t your “god” say “Don’t judge others, lest you be judged yourself.”

    Also, you are obviously pro gay hate. That’s fucked. There is nothing wrong with gay people, so get over it. They are “gods” children too, and he loves them just as much as he loves you.

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  22. Paul Purdy

    OK i have read a lot of posts tonight this is my first comment this is a fake joke. if you stop and think about it it would not really work the tube that is inserted would just clog up if any thing and even if the fecal matter did go in the tube it would not expand out to make the shape in the end

  23. becky

    just as a thought…. idgaf about this post, all i care about is making sure all you homophobic assholes are lined up and shot.

  24. Brenan Chambers

    Adam Nelson…

    I’m fairly certain you are literally one of the dumbest people on the planet. You seriously are, so SOO SOOOOO stupid. like, are you some sort of “opposite-man” where you can some how inexplicably say the dumbest and most irrational statement known to man?

    Just thinking about your thought processes when you first saw this post are not only hilarious, but sad. Im truley sorry, it must be a curse being the single stupidest person on earth.

  25. Patrick.....Ireland

    The whole site is a spoof guys. By posting outrageous nonsense they get more traffic. They earn money from the adverts. How could a christian site carry so many gay dating adverts , ask yourself.

  26. Aaron

    He is not “dumb”. He is looking out for our society and has interest in protecting your children and your childrens children. At least someone is taking action. It is easy to criticize (*See above to view easy methods of condemning communication), but it takes a real human being to take action.
    Although most likely fake; thank you Sir for looking out for us.

  27. Mainiac58

    “He is looking out for our society and has interest in protecting your children and your childrens children.”

    How? By alerting parents to watch out for something that DOESN’T EXIST?!?!

    “He is not “dumb”.”

    Sorry, but if he believes this product is “real”, he is. Then again, I think “naive” fits better. 😉


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