Star Wars The Old Republic (SWTOR) is Breeding Future Gay Penile Handlers

Have you heard your son walking around the house yelling vulgarities like “I use to be a moisture farmer, but I took a lightsaber to the penis”, or “All your force belongs now to us”? If you are the parental victim of such demon babble, your son has fell into the hands of a game that promotes alien gay relationships, 1020p bestiality cut scenes and phallic sex battles in deep space settings.

Let it be known that even before your son gets to hunt down Jango The Hutt or fight Wompa Bats on Hoth, they are asked to pick which “side” they want to play on. In the gay community they also make you pick a side and these sides are called “bottom” or “top”. “Bottoms” are the flaming homosexuals who prefer to have their taint hole violated by trains of bare chested men with leather chaps and “tops” or “plunders” are the ones who dip their sin snake into the fecal holes of the weaker and willing “bottoms”. In the game, the “bottoms” are the Jedi and the “tops” are what they call Sith lords. Each name has its own meaning and below we have created a visual graphic for you to print out and carry with you to show your other friends who have children.

How Does SWTOR Turn My Son Gay?

If you want your son bombarded with rainbow sprinkled sin, by all means allow them to log onto this game and let them to soak up the gay juices that will be smeared into their minds. Let your child be brainwashed into having fecal fantasies and thoughts of performing mouth sex acts on guys named Trystyn and Levi. If you want to save your sons’ soul from anal interactions, please take our warnings serious and use your parental authority by banning this game from your son’s grasps. If need be, destroy his computer so they can not Kazaa game files from neighborhood kids.

Saber Designing (Penile Decorating)
Gays do many things to their puking flesh weasels and it should come to no surprise that they like to Bedazzle their sin shafts with glittery decor and French inspirited tattoos. One thing that we found in SWTOR, is that the game lets the player design their own “lightsaber”, which looks like a cyborg’s penis, with bolts, knobs, spikes, adjust the length, color and other alterations. This is obviously teaching kids the gay technique of penile styling and you can even see in the photo we provided that they all look like some kind of gay anal torture device that some taint terrorist would use to shove up their boyfriend’s mud goblet while they marinate in fecal mucus.

Force Pushing
Force pushing is an ability the players get at level 23 which allows them to use the force to ram their opponent into submission. You want to know who else uses ramming force moves to submit their opponent’s quivering mud daisy? Yes, the gays and they are teaching this ability to your son via the left click button of their computer mouse. One day your son is force pushing a Sith off a cliff and the next day he is force pushing his man candy into the neighbors red headed gay son.

Penile Fights
At any given time, thousands of SWTOR players are dueling to the death with their glowing meat bananas and bashing each other in a sadomasochistic way. In game this might look like a light show battle of warriors, but how would you like it if your son was in the back yard with his twiddle rompus in hand trying to slay his friend by slapping him with his Satan scepter violently? Yes, it isn’t so cute now is it. Well these are the types of behaviors these lightsaber battles are instilling into the minds of their young players. They see that they are able to vanquish the bad guy with their glowing love lure and they start to think it might be fun to fecal joust Billy’s bum with demonic thrusts.

Bestiality Love Triangles
Did you know your son can have a gay fling with their intergalactic buddy? Just how gays have international love rendezvous, this game is teaching your son how they to can be an international gay sexer. The game slowly brainwashes your son into having feelings for their male pet and soon enough they ask your son if they want to become “involved” with their companion. So far 89% of the players have chosen to take the dark path down bestiality road and it is only a matter of time before we see kids taking their dog or cat to their proms.

 

132 thoughts on “Star Wars The Old Republic (SWTOR) is Breeding Future Gay Penile Handlers

  1. OddAtheist

    I take a break from this site because of Christmas..and I come back to this…

    Tyson, do you suck at video games so bad that you must try to ruin it for others?

    It’s just a star wars game…

    Reply
  2. Ice Van Winkle

    Wow, I can’t decide if I should be more scared right now or disgusted! This “force pushing” in particular has me concerned, as I understand that it is mostly done between two males.

    And I can only imagine that the bulk of the kids playing this game are around 12 years old, when gay recruitment is most effective and likely to result in a lifetime of pink boas and aching anuses.

    Does no other father force his sons to play football and do push ups rather than be exposed to this filth?

    Reply
    1. OddAtheist

      Hey Ice, you ever see Star Wars? There’s nothing gay about Force Pushing and its just an attack to throw your enemies.

      I have to gues that the bulk of he’s playing this game are 15-21 considering it is rated T. Also, you can’t recruit people to gay because you don’t choose to be gay, your born gay.

      Your a horrible father is you force your son into football, what if he dosen’t like football. Then your just forcing him into unhappiness. If your son decides to play football, that’s ok. You dot for e him to do something

      Reply
  3. Corvinus

    You dare call Star Wars Gay you HERETIC ?? Let me write this as one of you people would do.You are clearly under the control of Satan !You were sent to pollute our minds with lies about a game sent by JESUS himself to fight the homosexuals and the emos!!!!You were blinded,but I forgive you for Jesus loves all his children BUT not emosexuals and homosexuals who spread liberal propaganda about a game that is fighting their wretched existances!You should do more research for this game mocks the homos and even lets you behead them ! Surely it inspires true patriotism !

    Reply
  4. Ice Van Winkle

    Is there no game that Christian children can play without so many “light sabers”? Which are really phalluses that lengthen when another masculine man steps into the room. I am surprised that they don’t squirt out something when the “fight” is done.

    Reply
    1. Corvinus

      Oh but this is the game ! Join and you will experience the thrill of hunting and killing a homosexual with your lightsaber which is a piece of holy fire that burns through the skin of the unsaved ! Oh Praise our Lord!

      Reply
        1. OddAtheist

          Tyson is spot on and reliable? LMFAO…oh wait, you were serious.

          Tyson is never right…Hell, the first picture isn’t even related to the game…it’s Voldemort from Harry Potter someone photoshopped a light saber into

          Reply
  5. Blanche Beecham

    When children are learning to write, the fingers and hands must be trained with daily practice to hold the pencil properly and form letters on the paper. Through this effort, the middle finger will form a callus where the constant pressure of the pencil or pen is expected. As a result of this callus, the fingers’ muscle memory is programed for what feels right and natural when writing.

    I think colored, light up penis fighting is something we all can agree should be frowned upon. For younger boys, it sets up a physical whacking and clashing expectation for the penis that may lead to unexpected callusing and muscle memory.

    Reply
    1. FredtheFailLord

      “When children are learning to write, the fingers and hands must be trained with daily practice to hold the pencil properly and form letters on the paper. Through this effort, the middle finger will form a callus where the constant pressure of the pencil or pen is expected. As a result of this callus, the fingers’ muscle memory is programed for what feels right and natural when writing.”
      So what?

      “I think colored, light up penis fighting is something we all can agree should be frowned upon. For younger boys, it sets up a physical whacking and clashing expectation for the penis that may lead to unexpected callusing and muscle memory.”
      The hell???

      Reply
      1. Blanche Beecham

        Flaylard,

        Why must you copy and past my posts as a reply? Simply repeating what a person commented is not a proper reply. A ‘reply’ indicates a response that is either in support or against the original post.

        If we were fencing, would you reply to my balestra-appel-advance lunge to the groin with the same? Your pee-pee would be sliced open before the first balestra!

        For your own safety, please think through your ‘reply’ before you hit submit.

        Kind regards, even though you seem a little slow,

        BB

        Reply
        1. OddAtheist

          He copy & pasted your reply and then comment on the two big points.

          I’d read his comment again…and by read, I mean actually READ it

          Reply
        2. LinuxGamerTheist

          I think even reposting the article verbatim would have pointed out the stupidity of what you had written, just saying

          Reply
    2. LinuxGamerTheist

      1) You must be sick to automatically think “penis” when you see a lightsaber

      2) sets an expectation? This is quite possibly the smallest problem if we were to assume that this game is about what you assume it is about WHICH IT ISN’T!

      btw, Hi guys! I’m new to this community of religious extremists, idiots and pathetic children who believe in fairy-tales. I hope you will all make me feel welcome and make me lose faith in humanity. I am an atheist, a gamer and a linux user (but not necessarily at the same time). That is all.

      Reply
  6. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

    I tried to warn the parents of my community of the horrors found within Star Trek Episode II The Lord of the (Cock) Rings so it could be snuffed out, but they wouldn’t listen. Now, here we have a “Massively Multiperson MMOFPSRPG” poisoning our youth on a huge scale… Activison will never stop its campaign against Christianity and the good, straight, Anglo people of America. Bless you and your work, Tyson.

    Reply
    1. OddAtheist

      Star Wars episode 2 is actually titled “The Clone Wars” …You somehow mixed up the Lord of the Rings series in it…

      SWTOR is actually just an MMORPG…Not whatever you said…Also Activision had nothing to do with this game

      Reply
      1. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

        “OddAthiest”, indeed. You’ve obviously had your vision clouded by sin. You do not see what is clearly true, but a false reality, woven by Satan. Lord have mercy on your soul, lost sheep.

        Reply
        1. OddAtheist

          Everything in my comment was true, you could of spent a minute with Google and figure that out…Hell, anyone else coul of told you that as well

          Atheists don’t even believe Satan exists…

          Reply
          1. Pebrocks The Atheist

            Jed, you just can’t admit what you said was wrong. There is no such thing called “Star Trek Episode II The Lord of the (Cock) Rings”.

          2. Pebrocks The Atheist

            Jed, you don’t seem to get that everything that was said in the article was made up. Tyson does this with every article.

          3. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

            Tyson is a great man and he aids the children of God with his writings. This modern world is full of sin and evil and he brings the dark temptations out into the open. If you do not want to believe the truth, then please leave, and not try to lead the innocent astray.

          4. OddAtheist

            Tyson makes up bullshit for EVERY article he writes…If the game was really like he says it is, the ESRB would be all over LucasArts and would of rated it WAY higher than T for Teen

          5. Pebrocks The Atheist

            Jed, he has never played the game so he cannot know anything about it. You’re going to believe his lies?

    2. LinuxGamerTheist

      mmofpsrpg? did you just string a bunch of letters together? MMO: massively multiplayer online, RPG: role playing game, FPS: first person shooter.

      Also, congrats,you mixed together 3 franchises: star wars, star trek and LOTR. You are officially a dumbass.

      btw, Hi guys! I’m new to this community of religious extremists, idiots and pathetic children who believe in fairy-tales. I hope you will all make me feel welcome and make me lose faith in humanity. I am an atheist, a gamer and a linux user (but not necessarily at the same time). That is all.

      Reply
  7. August Weisz

    I read that the final battle is against a Jamaican Jedi named Jar Gar. The only way to defeat him is to convince him to anal tongue your saber.

    Reply
    1. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

      I played to the end of the game, level 99, and can confirm this is true. It was a shocking, horrific site. I immediately destroyed my computer and purchased a new one. There is no cleansing that taint. I have much praying to do. Beware, my brothers in Christ.

      Reply
      1. OddAtheist

        Oh look, you can make up shit too… The game’s level cap is 50, there’s no such thing as level 99 in this game.

        Gey off the computer and go play some bingo you old coot

        Reply
          1. OddAtheist

            Actually I’m on my iPhone, reading a book and checking on this sight for bullshit at the same time.

            You still can’t admit I’m right huh?

          2. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

            You’re reading Harry Potter, The Color Purple, or Eye on the Prize, no doubt. Satan’s handbooks.

          3. athiest inc.

            what the hell honestly what the actual hell you just cant stand that people can actualy choose to be different without any amount of “brainwashing” as you seem to describe everything

      2. Pebrocks The Atheist

        Yeah….no. There is no end of the game. There is a level cap, which you got wrong. You are just spreading lies to just make yourself look right. Get your facts strait next time. And don’t try responding with some shit comment about satin. I want you to know you are wrong and you to admit it.

        Reply
        1. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

          If there’s no end of the game, then how do you explain my destroyed computer? Satin is Satan’s fabric, by the way.

          Reply
          1. OddAtheist

            You destroyed your own computer because your an idiot…

            It’s an open-ended game…as in it never ends.

          2. Pebrocks The Atheist

            You did that yourself, and if you played the game, then you would know you stop at level 50.

          3. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

            The game never ends? And I’M the idiot… I think you’re just jealous I made it to level 99. Obviously, I’m very good to make it that high in such a short time. It’s very easy actually. Those hobbits are no match for my Rancor character.

          4. Pebrocks The Atheist

            There are no Hobbits in the game. If you LOOK ON THE FUCKING SITE you would see the level cap is 50. You are a fucking retard, so shut the fuck up.

          5. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

            I’m speaking from personal experience here. I know I’ve played the game. All I know about you, on the other hand, is that you’re a foul-mouthed heathen.

          6. Pebrocks The Atheist

            You have never played this game. Everything you said about such game is a lie. There is no end to the game because it’s a MMO. MMOs don’t end unless the servers go down. The level cap is at 50. Not 99. Try coming back here once you know what you are talking about.

          7. LinuxGamerTheist

            The sad thing: having played the game could have been easily faked having, say, ACTUALLY DONE SOME RESEARCH. You, however, did the typical religious thing and assumed that we were stupid enough to accept whatever crap you feed us. Please stop it, you are only making yourself look bad.

          8. KBLME

            The game he really played was probably super happy fun time the big gay quest. It has a level cap of 200 so your no where near the end.

      3. KBLME

        Thanks for showing me the trues. Thats is that old people can’t play games they just make up crap…like the bible it’s full of it.

        Reply
          1. jingking777

            Come on, everybody knows that the book was written by the Satan worshiping orgy during the 100 day sodomy, don’t they teach you that at Saturday school

  8. OddAtheist

    I’m actually reading a Ripley’s Believe or Not book

    I have read Harry Potter, but so has almost every kid in America. I don’t know what the other 2 books you mentioned even are.

    Going off Harry Potter, it’s just a fantasy book. You know as in not real. How does it correlate to Satan. I you better NOT post a freaking link to a Christwire article because that will render your argument invalid

    Reply
    1. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

      I hope it’s “Ripley’s Believe it or Not: You Will Burn in Hell for Your Unrepentant Lifestyle and Gay Rainbow Pony Antics Unless You Devote Your Life to Him and Live Like a Good Wholesome Christian”.

      Reply
      1. OddAtheist

        No…Ripley’s Believe or Not…The book filled with oddities and strange things and people…

        “…Live Like a Good Wholesome Christian.”

        Theres a flaw in that…I’m not a Christian…

        Reply
          1. OddAtheist

            Thats not what I meant…You’re telling me to live like a Christian despite the fact I’m not Christian, thats the flaw.

            Atheism isn’t a flaw.

    2. Ice Van Winkle

      That Ripley’s book makes me uncomfortable. It describes satanic aberations and lies, and ignore the normal white christian way of life.

      Why would a God fearing person put their mind into that filth?

      Reply
      1. LinuxGamerTheist

        Because (ripleys)Believe it or not, not everyone has their head stuck that deep up their own ass.

        btw, Hi guys! I’m new to this community of religious extremists, idiots and pathetic children who believe in fairy-tales. I hope you will all make me feel welcome and make me lose faith in humanity. I am an atheist, a gamer and a linux user (but not necessarily at the same time). That is all.

        Reply
  9. KBLME

    Just like the site they seem to be going slower and slower about the games. Try make this when the game comes out not 3 weeks later. You just might make it work.

    Reply
    1. Delores Pasternak

      I believe it takes time to research all the aspects of the game. If he were to rush his critique, we would have far fewer details and not know the true dangers within.

      Reply
    2. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

      “IGN” aka Internet Gay Network hasn’t even written their review yet. Safe to say we’re ahead of the pack.

      Reply
        1. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

          If that’s not what it stands for, then butter my butt and call me a biscuit. It sure describes it pretty well to me.

          Reply
          1. Rev. Jed R. Bagoe

            That doesn’t make sense. Internet Gay Network, does, however. Seeing as they promote homosexual fairy adventures, Athiesm, and worst of all, Communism.

          2. Pebrocks The Atheist

            And where do they promote all those things? The only thing they promote are videos games, which are harmless. While Christians are not.

          3. OddAtheist

            Imagine Games Network Entertainment owns IGN (Why it isn’t called IGNE is beyond me) I’m sure it says that right on their site someone.

            Like Pebrocks said, they’re only reviewing video games…Not pushing homosexuality, Atheism, and Communism…

            Your arguing with gamers here, I doubt you can win this battle

          4. OddAtheist

            Rancor aren’t a playable species in game…Hell, Rancors aren’t a humanoid creature in Star Wars, just a big ugly beast

          5. KBLME

            Renumber guy’s they get super secret alpha passes so maybe bago got to play the next expansion that wont be out of 3 years.

      1. breeya

        Jeremiah 9:5, “And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity.

        You sir, are not a man of god. But a man of Satan. You lie. Lie lie lie you defy the Lords commandments and do not seek redemption. Satan has a special place for people like you in his Kingdom.

        I will not pray for your soul for you are wicked. Let the Lord Judge you for such.

        Reply
  10. August Weisz

    I saw a preview of this game while protesting Hastings. There are so many hobbits having gay sex. Wouldn’t 2 hobbits having gay sex be enough?

    Reply
    1. Pebrocks The Atheist

      Lord of the Rings have hobbits, not Star Wars. And how can you see a preview with gay sex? There can never be sex in a game rated T.

      Reply
    2. OddAtheist

      There are no hobbits in this game or even in the Star Wars universe

      Hobbits are in the Lord of the Ring series and even then they don’t have any gay sex

      Why can’t you stop making shit up August…

      Reply
      1. Ice Van Winkle

        There is only one universe, and that was created by God and is 6000 years old. If you believe in these other universes filled with gay Hobbits and burning penises, then you are following Satan.

        Reply
        1. OddAtheist

          I don’t believe that those universes exist, would it of made you feel better if said FANTASY universes. as in of course thy aren’t real.

          “The bible and all scientific evidence…” You just mix religion and science together

          Your “proof” website is another religious site, of course it’ll say the universe isn’t that old. Those aren’t facts

          Reply
  11. Felton Gonsalues

    I remember as a child warning my classmates not to see these ‘Star War’ movies. Pure satanic garbage. We should burn them in fires like we did to the Pokemons

    Reply
    1. OddAtheist

      Can you explain how the Star Wars movies are satanic? That way I can at least know how stupid you are…

      The plural of Pokemon is still Pokemon, there is no S at the end

      Reply
        1. Pebrocks The Atheist

          That might have been the most retard comment on this site yet. 9/11 attack and Star Wars have no relation between them. You are blinded by religion.

          Reply
          1. Pebrocks The Atheist

            You just link something that doesn’t help at all. In fact, it ruins your argument. christwire has nothing truthful.

  12. Hombre

    If you got this far into reading the comments, well done!

    OddAtheist and Pebroks, welcome to the Internet, where it has been concluded that Star Whores is the work of Satan.

    August and Jed, well done. I salute you both for opening the eyes of the non-believers. May their souls burn in hell along with the pokemons and hobbits.

    Reply
    1. breeya

      Hombre, as a real god serving woman you are encouraging their lies?

      Have you no remorse or compassion for our fellow man? what of our lords teachings?

      Jed and August speak of lies. Our lord commanded that we shall not lie.

      Reply
      1. KBLME

        They call opening a bible a win. Even tho more atheists have read the bible more then the people who call them selfs part of this religion.

        Reply
  13. SinfullyWicked

    I saw the first picture and all I could think of is”why is Voldemort holding a light saber in the ministry of magic”?

    Eventually, the authors of these articles will so some research and try to slander the correct information, right? At least this time that Japanese based company Blizzard Entertainment wasn’t mention.

    ****Yes yes I know that Blizzard Entertainment is based out of Irvine, CA and is not associated with Bioware, the makers of Star Wars, the Old Republic. Avid fan of warcraft, so just highly amused that they usually blame everything of this nature on Blizz

    Reply
    1. LinuxGamerTheist

      I don’t know about Blizzard, never really liked the warcraft games, Starcraft was nice though, more of a valve person.

      That being said… this whole thing is a photoshopped peice of shit! They assume that if they dont do research, no one else will. Stop it.

      Reply

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