Category Archives: ChristWire Campus

College wisdom, news, advice and humor, powered by the brightest minds of America’s future, and therefore, the future leaders of humanity, even the lesser countries.

Females Now Enticing Men With Feathery Sex Treats

Just when we thought the threat of Vajazzling was over with, comes a new horror that threats the secret seed of your college boys. Now young girls are tempting young men with premarital sexual urges of dipping their sin snakes into a moisture basket of oozy sex nectar by decorating their pubic regions with brightly colored peacock feathers that draw demonic sexual attention directly at their open and willing secreting baby caverns.

Women want men to be on the lower totem pole with them, as we all know they are below man. Women use to be equal, but since that faithful day when Eve took a bite out of the serpent’s fruit God punished he by making her the servant of Man and because of this we know that the female’s nature is that of a whorelot and women have been on a rampage to de-seed confused young men with temptation of fish dipped sin treats by flaunting their milk sacs and cranker blossoms in the faces of America’s future leaders.

With this new threat being so “in your face”, it is only a matter of time that men on college campuses will have their candy sacs covered with colorful reminiscents from last night’s rompus with a feathery harpies sin slit whose intention is to derail the boy’s mind from studies to playing late night gags of the woman’s baby sewer. Boys will now come home to show their parents the results from a positive pregnant test, instead of a report card full of A’s.

LSU Football Players Decide to do Pot Instead of Win at Life

LSU Football PlayersRemember the THREE Ds – DOPE DESTROYS DREAMS

According to reports by ESPN, 3 of LSU football players decided that getting high on the pot was more productive than winning a National Football Championship.

Following in the footsteps of professional players, the LSU football players have allowed a night of pot doing and partying get in the way of their own success. (I’m assuming these players are of sin skin color)

After falling a standard player drug test, reports say that all 3 lsu players have been suspended for an unspecified period of time, and the suspension will include LSU’s game with Auburn. So LSU will play the former National Championship Auburn team without the potheads Tyrann Mathieu, Tharold Simon, & Spencer Ware.

If our kids keep following the footsteps of gang banging hipped hopped artists and violent sports players, we will lose them in the musky scent of sin.

Does Your Daughter Listen to “A New Found Glory”?

Just when you thought Shakira was the most dangerous threat to your daughter, we found a “Emo-Trip-Pop-Punk” band called New Found Glory, or as their numb minded female followers call them, “NFG” (which also stands for “Never Follow God”), New Found Glory was just their “parent friendly” name.

Now remember that emo stands for “enter my orifice” and this band’s pure agenda is to enter their crave rockets into as many moist camel hump orifices as possible.

The band makes sure to dress like semi respectful boys, just so parents can’t see past their true intentions of impregnating young females with their demonic sperm seeds.

What Does Their Music Do To Our Daughter’s Minds?

To put it in a non vulgar description would be impossible. The music they play tricks girls into thinking that they understand how girls want to be loved and treated. They make females think that being in a relationship with them will get them boxes of milk chocolate candies, moonlite walks on a sandy beach, flowers delivered to their office and passionate tongue kisses.

This is all a ploy to get your daughters to their concerts, so they can brainwash them and make their bodies start boiling with sex tensions and tantalizing sinful moisture in their private area.

Just like the Siren sea creature, Leader singer Jordan Pundik (who we feel is a closeted bi-sexual), uses his high pitched car crash voice to brainwash girls with these thoughts of false dreams of passion and love.

There is also a small chance that your daughter maybe “M-ing” herself at night with a house hold item while listening to this black magic sex music. Your daughter is also at a higher risk of performing a anal sex sin docking act

Where Did They Come From?

This band comes from Florida and just so you know, Florida is full of liquid steroid juice heads looking to use their Schwarzenegger brute force to pin down overly tanned females and make them engage in unwanted sex sessions.

New Found Glory started the emo punk movement in 1997 along with “Getting it up Kids” and “Reggie’s Fully Erect”.

These bands traveled the world spreading their mascara eyed sexual music and influenced the increase in teen sex acts and female runaways in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. Each city they would hit, they would sing their lyrics of anal sex, drugs, orgies and other necromatic deviancies.

What Goes on at Their Concerts?

Each song they play at their concerts are enticing your daughter’s baby holes with tingly feelings of sexual sin and fleshy sex poles of pre-martial penetration. Their shows are full of large milk sac chested harlots ready to be chloroformed and gang banged backstage by the band members and their roadies. Not to mention their signature “New Found Glory” Holes that they have around the stage. Each glory hole has a different “racial” sin snake poking out and is in plain sight for your daughters to see.