New App Can Tell If Your Son is Gay

Before we talk about this innovative application, let us remind you that Mr. Billings created his own husband “outing” system back in August of 2010. There is no doubt that this new app’s creators got the idea from Mr. Billings and used his knowledge as a wireframe when coding their html and web 2.0 programming.

Hopefully this app will not only help American households, but homes across the world to sniff out the presents of homosexuality within their family. Just like carbon monoxide, homosexuality is tasteless and odorless (unless you catch them having sex, than it smells of fecal order and sweat). This app is just like having a CO alarm within you home, letting off a blaring warning alert if it detects anything deadly to your children.

These are the questions that the app asks a concerned parent:

1. Does he like to dress up nicely? Does he pay close attention to his outfits and brand names?
2. Does he like football?
3. Before he was born did you wish he would be a girl?
4. Has he ever gotten into or participated in a fight?
5. Does he read sports magazines?
6. Does he have a best friend?
7. Does he like team sports?
8. Is he prudish/modest?
9. Does he like diva singers?
10. Does he spend a long time in the bathroom?
11. Does he have a tongue, nose or ear piercing?
12. Does he spend time getting ready before being seen in public?
13. Have you asked yourself questions about your son’s sexual orientation?
14. Are you divorced?
15. Does he like musical comedies?
16. Has he introduced you to a girlfriend ever?
17. Is the father (you) very strict or authoritarian with his son?
18. In your family is the father absent?
19. Was he shy as a child?
20. Is he close to his father?

If you find out your son is gay, you can use my “How to Punish Your Homosexual Child” for ideas on how to handle this catastrophe.

32 thoughts on “New App Can Tell If Your Son is Gay

  1. Stephenson Billings

    Thanks for the mention, dear friend. I think this Application will make a fantastic Christmas present! In fact, I predict that this item will appear in Amazon’s “Shoppers who bought this item also liked…” feature in their own listing of the Christwire Handbook!

    1. Stephenson Billings

      Damien, this is indeed a genuine technological application. After Tyson’s report appeared, many news sites have gone and verified it. If you bothered to try a simple web search, you would realize that this is truth.

          1. Christian Intellectual

            “So lies count as research?”

            NO, that is why i don’t accept the theory of evolution.

          1. L.N

            Or maybe it’s the fact that this is nothing but a bunch of bullshit and you’re just acting like an idiot because you’re ignorant and stupid.

  2. bob

    I have 21

    21.Does he write blog articles that are constantly denouncing homosexuality and making up non words like homogay?

  3. anime freak

    ummm i hve a ?
    hw does not having a dad a around make u gay?
    my dad is not here n i know ppl other then me tht its happend 2 so plz stop spouting ur bullshit.
    also im suprized 1 of the ? had nothing 2 do wiff does he hang around blk ppl an wear skinnyjeans.
    cuz u kno steve…..
    ah nvr mind just go eat cow dick

    1. Bruce Danus

      Perhaps if you had a Father, you could actually type proper English instead of this “Leet” speak stuff. You are on an Educational Website, please show that you have at least a 3rd grade education or above. Thank you for trying though.

  4. anime freak

    wow mr anus just wow thnx for completely avoding everything i asked in my comment to correct my spelling.( sarcasm ) i’ll hve you know my spelling and reading comprehension is way beyond my 10th grade class mates so shut the fuck up.
    and now i think ill go listin to sum asking alexandria or sum bmth


    @ Adam Nelson
    This is a family site? No it isn’t.This site lying to family’s more like it! What family website shows pictures of nudity, talks about porn, and proclaims to be christain!?
    Besides, this website practiclly tells people that everything and everyone is evil.


Leave a Reply