Selena Gomez's Mexican Sin Treats Have Grown Too Plump for American Television

If you ask me, I don’t trust anything that can speak two languages and get free tuition. To be honest, I don’t know what rock this little brown pi帽a colada of sin crawled out of, or which Mexican state she slept her way through to get to America. But, I do know that she is causing boys to stay up late at night and be tempted to fondle themselves while browsing Google images from search results like “Sex Mex Gomez” and “Mexican Selena Candy”. From Disney to double D exposed jalape帽o flavored milk crates, she prances around in an overdose of whorish couture fashions, making young boys around American have urges to whack their demon rods until they produce forced sin marinated juices. This lil pi帽ata of sex, can easily cause your child to burn a gigabite of band widths purely surfing for these free Chalupa platter pictorials she scatters around blogspot and tumblr websites.

If you browse your child’s web history and find links containing this combination whorrito, let your children know you are the digital La Migra and you are exporting this hacienda hussie back to beanville, faster than they can say “California Dream Act.” If you do not take action, your son will be locked into a lusty labyrinth of Mexican skinned fantasies and be overloaded with nocturnal emissions. Your daughters will be taught how to properly flash their sin bags in a none classy way and learn how to pop out seven kids before the age of seventeen and live on welfare. Miss Gomez’s sour creme dream is to wrap America into a tightly wound taquito of sin and gluttonous amounts of Mexican sex juices and taint our youth with her Shakira style hips and sin-sational, pouty lipped sex poses.

Here is an example of one of her tweets promoting the idea for girls to sneak out of their homes and partake in a night of sultry orgies and interracial naughty dances.

She also uses Twitter to promote a tween night club style show that she created on Disney. This show, Shake It Up, teaches young kids how to do black ghetto butt shakes and Satanic toe tapping body gyrations. Millions of pre-agers are square dancing with the devil in your living rooms, while caller Gomez shouts out which next dirt movement she wants to teach your children. No wonder teen pregnancy is on the rise with such sexual movements being taught at a young age.

Besides hosting free images on Google and posting subliminal naughtiness on Tweeter, how does Selena saturate your children with Satanic taco sauce? She uses an underground photo sharing service called “Twatpic” and uses a Tweeter API to spread the millions of skin filled images across the internet highway. With this service, Selena is able to publish “leaked” photos of her plump milk sacs or even images of her and boyfriend, Justin Bieber, nude on the beach.

53 thoughts on “Selena Gomez's Mexican Sin Treats Have Grown Too Plump for American Television

  1. Albert Toppers

    Filthy stuff, indeed! I’m updating my holy filters right now. Thank you for this important information, Pastor Bowers!

      1. L.N

        Why is it that only you and August care about the size of your e-penis? You’re fucking stupid, that’s why people rate you down.

  2. L.N

    So because you hate Mexicans, regardless of how they came to America, and because Selena Gomez is famous, you decide to spout some lies about her, alongside some photoshop pictures of her, just because you’ve got nothing better else to do.

    1. Harold Camping

      Young man,

      No one hear hates Mexicans.

      But it is unfair how they always manage to get free tuition, and in the case of this jalepinolot, got free plastic surgery just to appear presentable to American audiences.

      It is beyond me what Obama has done with entitlements.

      1. Beth Rebello

        Actually you just hate. That’s ok because when That asshole that is stalking Ms Gomez possibly does something to harm her or worse, I hope he says that YOUR lovely christian website inflamed him further because of your photo shopped pictures of her, and pornographic descriptions of her in your Pulitzer Prize winning article. Wow wouldn’t that be something for your god to be proud of? Who knows maybe maybe one of you devil stick stroking, hate mongering, clearly porno loving emo fuckers is the gentleman in question… Just sayin

    2. Glaringly Obvious Man

      I think you only post on this website because you enjoy the attention of getting “thumbs up” on your post. That’s what I think.

      You poor, lonely soul.

  3. Millennium

    someone who can speak 2 language … is 2 more than you at least

    you can barely speak english

    free tuition I’m pretty sure she actually paid for school

    1. Blanche Beecham

      I really don’t know how people can defend these two. They are both illegals. The Canadian one is just trying to spread the socialist dogma to the south of the border. The Mexican one is a common Beiber-squeezer.

    2. Tyson Bowers III

      They have already spread disease and now they have spread their laziness to America’s youth….look at occupy Wall Street.

          1. L.N

            Her mother’s Mexican, but that doesn’t mean that she’s illegal or that Selena was an ‘anchor baby’ as you so put it.

        1. Steviewevie

          Wow you are unbelievable, seriously. For a religious nut you havent even learned some of the most basic lessons that God would have expected you to learn by now. First of all you are not supposed to judge, how dare you take Gods job into your own hands. Second, your words are so full of hatred and racism that you had better repent because your going straight to hell if you dont. Your supposed to love your enemies. I know how hard it can be though trust me, you are the epitome of the type of person i cant stand but im trying to teach you some valuable lessons out of the love I have for mankind. Just leave her alone. If you really dont like her why would you draw more attention to her? Why tell people how they can look at her dirty pics. Your exhibiting some very classic symptoms of obsession. Personally I think you are one of those little boys you refer to in your article. P.S. You should really change your pic because it looks like a mugshot of a pedophile, not even joking.

      1. Glaringly Obvious Man

        So? You spend a significant portion of your time arguing with people on the internet who are

        1) Clearly trolling you and
        2) Have no common ground with you

        Good job.

        1. Nina Deiorio

          I condemned you. Don’t take it personally; you just deserve to be condemned. There, I said it; wow… I think I just had an orgasm. Whew!

  4. LuficertheFallen

    Hey guys, Satan here. Just thought I’d pop in to clarify things. Selena Gomez is my dark soldier, I have sent her to earth to defeat Gods greatest gift to mankind: Justin Bieber. Now I’m off to plant seeds of homosexual thoughts in heterosexual men, explain agnosticism to Mormons and other such evil.

  5. order 66

    it called photoshop, it may not be in the”bible” but in real maybe you guys/guys dressed as women should google in.
    Kneel before Zod

  6. Nicholas Tadmor

    Slutlena Hoemez corrupts good Christian men like Justin Bieber. I cant believe they broadcast this sexual conquistadora all day!

        1. LinuxGamerTheist

          Look, Nick, I probably have more reason to hate JB than you. I don’t like his music. I mostly listen to classic rock, reggae and third-wave ska.

          I, at least, don’t resort to biased articles like you, you slave to proprietary software.

  7. Beth Rebello

    Honestly I think YOU guys are the ones looking at pictures on the internet of Selena Gomez and whacking your devil sticks. You all are a riot in your attempt to ignite such responses.

    1. Captain Obvious

      Did some muthafucker say topless pics?!


  8. Pingback: Selena Gomez's Mexican Sin Treats Have Grown Too Plump for … | Selena Gomez

  9. Return of the Troll King, The Jew

    So, since I can speak both English and Hebrew fluently, and can speak a little German, French, Spanish, Italian, and Russian, does that mean that I must be deported to all those different countries as well? It would be hard to do that. Just saying.

    Oh, and, I’M BAAAAAAACK.

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  11. BVBUntilTheFuckinEnd

    I know this is slightly off the subject, but are you discriminating against bilingual, trilingual and multilingual people? I am bilingual since I can fluently speak English and Bulgarian (I am Bulgarian) so does that mean you have something against me and all the other people that can speak multiple languages? Pricks.

    1. LinuxGamerTheist

      He hates anyone smarter than him.
      I actually speak Russian and Hebrew quite fluently, this is complete bullshit.

      1. BVBUntilTheFuckinEnd

        I know right. Just because he can’t speak different languages like us doesn’t mean he should degrade us.
        You speak Russian? AWESOME! I’m quite interested in learning Russian, considering the Russian and Bulgarian languages are astonishingly similar. ;D


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