Now that Mtv has become “Masturbation Television”, it should not be shocking to find out that they are now dribbling syrupy images of lesbian fornication nonsense onto the screen for all young eyes to see. Recently Mtv has exposed your children to an x rated episode of the famous television show, Jersey Shore, which is a show about hobgoblin $4 whores and orange pastel colored closeted homosexuals and their adventures of intoxication and multiple partner sexual encounters. You know, the wholesome stuff that all 10 years old should be watching. In their latest episode they feature a lesbian kiss which leads into a night of demonic clam dabbling and female to female fish cave worship, between the midget pavement princess, Snooki and the Jeeny Craig drop out, Deena.
Below I will show you a pictorial of the nights anti-Jesus sexcapades and a in-depth explanation of what exploits were going on.
Here we see the massacre minx’ engaging in a lesbianic tongue mouth act. This type of behavior is caused by drinking too much devil nectar and once in an intoxicated state, Satan is allowed to enter the body and take control of ones mind, body and soul. Once their lips are locked, Satan takes hold of their syphilis encrusted baby doors and moistening their camel humps with hell fire juices of sexual arousal.
Now deeper enthralled in Satan’s grip of lesbian fantasies, you can see the two sluts of Jezebel in a death lock of tantalizing tongue tennis.
Now fully aroused in baby slit moisture juices, the two females decided to engage in a typical drunk fluzzy dance to draw more attention to their actions. Whores like nothing more than to be gawked at by the public. You could say they re just like homosexuals when it comes to the need and urge for attention, even if it is negative.
Full of intoxicating fluids, God attempts to bring the girls back to reality, by love tapping them to their knees. Of course the plastic filled mick sac’d $2 street walkers pay no attention to God’s warning and continue on with their night of spray tanned musk of debauchery.
Once home, the two whorelots break into demonic dances. Filled with Satan’s spirit the two can not control their bodies and flailing their arms around like two drunk beached whales trying to get back into the sea. You even see the Snooki fall down and be paralyzed into a cat pose. This pose is a symbol that Satan has finish his onslaught of abuse and leaves the body to deal with hellish dehydration and regret.
Just like all things evil, they all are punished by God’s wrath of love and discipline. Because the two girls decided to flash their baby holes and milk sacs to the world and not pay attention to God’s first warning, he had to take action again. Just like all good father’s they will love tap their children into submission and God’s hand was in the form of a car accident.
So remember kids, if you want to be hauled away by the ambulance or even in a body bag, keep your naughty parts in your pants and do not drink of the devil’s cup.
This is not why HDTV was invented. People should watch sports.
church
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Actually, HDTV was invented so that people didn’t have to strain their eyes to make out fuzzy pixels. Unlike you, I actually know real information. So, SUCK IT, BITCH.
I blame the producers for forcing the poor girls to do this. It’s still a worthwhile show.
A worthwhile show? The people are utter trash!
most unlikely I have to agree with Claire…I am scared….
They’re Christians and they’re adamantly heterosexual. Where else can you find that on today’s television?
A lot of places if you’re looking properly.
You know how much sex they’re all having? The amount of booze that enters their systems? Drugs as well, more than likely, when the cameras are off? THAT’S Christian for you?
I have never seen drugs displayed on that show or even sexual penetration, just a lot of snuggling. I think the boys are a lot of talk, especially Pauly D. but that’s what makes him so lovable!
You’re seriously just full of shit Billings. The douchebag known as “The Situation” was caught with marijuana, and Snooki’s been caught drunk in public a number of times.
I have not seen that information, LN, but it wouldn’t surprise me if in today’s Liberal Media Hollywood Glam Factory such nonsense was falsified to create “buzz”.
Plus, Pauly D. has not been caught doing anything. I prefer him over the Situation who comes off as a bit mean at times. And he has some facial lines which makeup can’t cover up!
Mr. Billings, I think I am in love with you!
I don’t know what YOU’RE watching, but this show has never been worthwhile. Not a single episode. You might wanna get your brain checked.
Yalls are dumb….Im going boobs out right now!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think that if your ten year old is watching mtv at 9pm on a monday night the parents should be checked not mtv. Second this is the funniest show i have seen in a long time and clearly the ratings agree wtih me.
I agree with the first part of your statement. Parents should monitor what their children are watching, reading, and listening to, not the government. As to the second part of your statement, I don’t think this show is funny at all. It is pathetic. What’s worse, these are real people. There are more like them out there. Sad reality is these are the people who will ruling this world soon. Sad but true.
Jersey Shore is just utter idiocy
Jersey Shore doesnt even deserve to be a tv show. They just take the dumbest, sluttiest, and most irritating kids from NJ and film them. I have watched all of 30 secs of the show and that’s all it takes to figure that out.
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I bet you had a good time over that picture Tyson Bowers III
I don’t know steve, I don’t really find the show that great, or paulie D. that lovable, but then again I’m not a queer.
This is the most judgmental article I’ve ever read in my entire life. The writer is more un-Christ-like than anyone he condemns. Shaming someone is only about anger and control, not love. The author is creative enough to think of 250 ways of degrading women, yet says nothing of the men doing WORSE on Jersey Shore. Misogyny at it’s finest.
Well, MTV is kind of stupid and reports of their downfall is all over the web. I just searched MTV’s television guide, its all reality shows. Reality shows arn’t entertaining, so I wouldn’t worry about your kids or anyone watching them.
They would have to start having real television, maybe they should hire some writers and actually have real fictional television series, instead of boring us with reality. I wouldn’t want to see a television series about my or anyone elses life. People want fictional fantasy stories, not reality tv.
The act of having lesbians making out, so what. If it turns them on to be with another woman, whats wrong with that. Why should anyone stand in their way. And, those were just pictures, they might’ve just been being silly.
If these television are trying to release is smut, they can’t go all the way, because they’re on public telvision, which really makes what they’re doing incredibly not in demand. Mediocre slutty content isn’t in high demand, because its not hardcore.
Basically the content on MTV isn’t in demand, and its generally not entertaining. I’ve never stomached watching MTV because all of what I’ve seen doesn’t go anywhere, and it just seems so stupid. So given the general population doesn’t like MTV I wouldn’t worry about your kids or anyone watching it. Get your kids netflicks so they can watch something thats entertaining, and they won’t be lured into the nothingness of MTV. And its nothing, so there is nothing to be lured by it.
Fistpumps to that!