Looking for the nearest S&M gay leather bar with the best $35 apple martinis or the newest hipster horse back riding wine tasting event? If so, just open up a overly high glossed copy of Snotsdale, AZ based magazine “944”. This magazine is full of fantasy footholds and tries to sell the idea that everyone lives on a 250k and up income and can afford a $670 custom shirt by Angela Johnson or some other designers who have made up interracial porn names. 944 makes it seem that owning only one Porsche is a lifestyle crime and being involved in only one to two bi-sexual sex orgies is grounds for being exiled out of the sexual deviant hipster circle.

The name 944 alone sports a menacing, subliminal message. As reported on earlier, Stephenson Billings pointed out the children use internet sex slang and just like “BRB” or “415”, 944’s name is just as vulgar as its overly color burned fashion pictorials. We all know that in “sex slang” texting, that the “9” is the symbol for the female pushing her rump in the air and we know the “4” is the symbol of a male fully enticed by female sin treats. Now look at how the 9 and the two 4s are laid out. You can see here the 944 means that a women is having his camel hump being invaded by a male’s sin snake, while that male is being reversed waste exited by another male. So as you can see, the name alone is telling its readers that not only having multiple sex action partners is ok, but it is ok to have same sex relationships.

So besides the name, what else does 944 Magazine offer its readers? I have created a breakdown of their most common content and will explain what each one’s motives are.

3am Girls
Wondering why your ASU attending daughter is failing microbiology? Or why she suddenly started to smoke the liquid ecstasy filled electronic cigarette? What if I told you there is a group of girls who write articles each month telling your daughters to stay out every night and party like cheap $4 sex pirate hookers and be involved in interracial pretty boy orgy parties. Well each month the 3am Girls write about how much alcohol and drugs that smoked each month and glamorize the night walker street life. Each story is filled with images of pot high college girls being mauled by steroid beefy, bi-curious frat boys.

While your hard earned dollars are going to half rated schools like ASU and SDSU, your daughters are out slamming shots of Denaka Vodka and beer bonging copious amounts of Michelob Ultra, which are both major advertisers for the magazine.

The 3am girls are scantily clad hussies, who are community college drop outs, who are also jealous of students who were able to get into sweet 16 schools. Their main goal is to ruin the academic journeys of as many college girls as possible. For each college drop out, their souls become sexual erect with sin and malice. These women are the truth embodiment of a devil whore.

Just so you know, the “am” does not stand for ANTE meridian.

Ads
No wonder kids nowadays are so sexual confused and binge drinking alcoholics. Magazines like 944 are more crammed with more gay propaganda than a lesbian biker parade in San Fransisco. For every 1 page of content, there is 10 pages of photoshopped gay exposed bodies, flyers to steamy gay rave sex parties and gay friendly destination vacations. And if they aren’t being bombarded with sexy sailor make out photos, they are being pushed to by sin nectar beverages. One could become a drunk gay man just by flipping through the magazine alone.

What a healthy message to push onto kids and that is exactly their target, fresh college student meat. They know if they can tempt new students during rush week, they can hook them into their advertising maelstrom of sex, drugs and bottom self alcohol advertisers. They don’t even put a parental warning on the cover, letting parents and students know they are about to be taken to a land of bad choices.

Why don’t they switch out these graphical pages of massive sin and replace them with ads about Jesus’ love or images of happily married, God following straight couples? Because they don’t want to promote soulfully healthy lifestyles.

Fashion Pictorials
To fill up space due to their writers inability to write more than 5 pages of actual content. 944 fills up around 130 pages of powdered cracked coke caned models wearing outfits that only a mental damaged slut would wear.

I’m sorry 944, no real person would spend $700 on a shoe string woven shirt with paint splatters on it. My 8 year old niece is able to do that and you don’t see her trying to scam people out of money or even call it fashion. It seems 944’s definition of fashion is.

fash·ion (according to 944 Magazine)
-noun
Anything that was created by anyone with a made up European name, is a high school drop out hipster, lives off mommy and daddy’s money and makes crap just so they can say they are artistic and different.

“By buddy Levi McClane is the best fashion designer in Mesa. He takes old pieces of gum and sews them onto American Apparel fitted tees and then lets his dog urinate on them.”

So if you enjoy recycled half rated content, endless amounts of talentless pictorials, Satanic gay ads, images of body painted go-go dancers and heroin smoking high school drop outs, 944 Magazine is for you.