Category Archives: Faith Links

51 Christian Friendly Words for Testicles

  1. Taint’s hanging chin
  2. The itchy turkey neck
  3. Pubic pouch
  4. Lazy pilgrims
  5. Penis brain
  6. DNA capsules
  7. Fleshy elf bags
  8. Droopy lemon tarts
  9. Sin snake venom sacs
  10. Sperm boiled eggs
  11. Shaft tonsils
  12. English tea bags
  13. Bald chicken
  14. Pudding package
  15. Florida hairy speed bags
  16. Devil plums
  17. Sweaty toad bellies
  18. Penile baggage
  19. Bearded baby balloons
  20. Spermy mini cannonballs
  21. Life rocks
  22. Sagging sludge bunker
  23. Ejaculate storage
  24. God’s nectar cellar
  25. Ivory mucus pocket
  26. Muck marbles
  27. Pasty scum vault
  28. One eyed hiker’s backpack
  29. Frosting bag
  30. Beef cherries
  31. Squirt muscle
  32. Farmer’s potato sac
  33. Musky candy bags
  34. Satan scepter undercarriage
  35. Oval slop canisters
  36. Vein pillows
  37. Swollen mud tanks
  38. Jars of man milk
  39. Sex mustard chamber
  40. Pale butter vats
  41. Seed purse
  42. Duffel bag of toothpaste
  43. Cream satchel
  44. Genetic swimming hole
  45. Baby gravy boat
  46. Organic mayo sacs
  47. Chowder tote
  48. Richard’s carry-on
  49. Man’s tackle box
  50. Dangling pumpkins
  51. Mischief bulge

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals
51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex
51 Christian Friendly Words for Breasts
51 Christian Friendly Words for Male Masturbation
51 Christian Friendly Words for butthole
51 Christian Friendly Words for Female Masturbation

Battlefield 3 – Teaching Kids True American Patriotism!

What is Battlefield 3?
Nothing says “I love Jesus“, like killing terrorists and taking down glitter lipped homosexual sleeper cells that are trying to smear musky death and destruction across American’s virgin loins. “BF3″ even gives you even get the chance to take down some no good Canadian ice Mexicans, who are trying to smuggle their countries low moral standards over our boarders and infect our children with their gayness and weak will. In the game Battlefield 3, the player is submerged into a world of true American grit and tightly wraps the player with manly imagery of patriotism, anti-homosexuality and Christian-American values.

What is also great about this game, is that it takes those evil Japanese consoles and turns them into a learning hub for glorious American traditions and a center piece for family fun. Dad and son can co-op play missions and frag some nasty drug dealers in Mexico City, or you can blanket a homosexual training facility with mom’s air strike she just won for painting multiple head shots on the foreheads of international criminals. Brother and sister can team up and stab evil in the back with an assortment of Made in the USA blades. A family that protects America together, stays together.

Unlike the homo gay supporting company Blizzard, D.I.C.E. (Destroy Idiot Communists and Europeans), has built a franchise of games that fight that damage that homosexuals and liberals have digitally fornicated into the minds of our children. D.I.C.E. has made it their mission to develop games the strike fear into the hearts of non-American loving sinners and train our children with vital moral nutrition and teach them how to stand up to the world’s evils without fear. Yes, D.I.C.E. may have the most advanced graphics in their video games and the bloodshed is quite realistic, but remember it is the blood of America’s enemies and children need to see that they do bleed when they’ve had a their bodies pumped with a full magazine clip from a Mp5 at close range. Unlike games like Modern Warfare 3, BF3 doesn’t rely on “tea bagging” gay antics to sell copies, it uses American pride to push it’s sells.


Tucker Max is a Closeted Mumble Anus

What do you get when you mix a college drop out and a pile of homosexuality, you get a flamboyant and closeted homo gay by the name of Tucker Max.

Tucker Max is your typical “bro” who masquerades in the diseases infested shadows of homosexuality. While setting up college campus tours, he is at the same time setting up fraternity gay orgies that allow him to partake in plundering the colon caverns of copious amounts of college man anus. This type of college like rape game is called “bromoing” and Tucker is the ring master when it comes to pumping for Satan oil from the drugged out bodies of rush week hopefuls.

You might know Tucker for his poorly written fiction novels, that tell a story of a boy who has sinful adventures with bi-sexual midgets and drunk Wall Street workers. Each book is filled with vulgarity and sexual content that even a admin would ban from their forum if it was posted on their website. These books are purely a way for Tucker to cover up his homosexual urges and make it seem like he has a new woman on his DNA rifle every night. If you read in between the lines, you will see that these books scream “I like musky man candy rub across my forehead after a full round of power bottoming” and his West Hollywood hair cut even tops off our suspicions. Why do you think his book was called “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell”? It is because he knows God sends gays to hell and he knows his soul is going there for punishment for his mud goblin hunting sins.

His books spew more leaky fecal slug than his overly abused sewer hole, which says a lot, since his weak anal muscles are unable to hold any bowel movements from all the penile assassinations it is has been a part of. His winking eye is like a Piñata at a Mexican Fiesta de Quinceañera, but instead of Mexicans, it is long lines of prison like black men and HSSS.TV fans; buff, angry and looking to vigorously devour some taint eye.

Tucker, you do know we now live in a world that allows gays to roam freely without being stoned or burnt at the stake. Why don’t you come out of the closet and start writing books about homo sex and interior design tips. I think you and that frolicking homo gay ass ninja, Tosh.homo, would make a great couple.

This Is How You Advertise For A Safe Childhood

What happens when you make anti-drug PSAs about gaying? The below images are postcards for you to print out or use the html coding to post it on your Facebook and MySpace pages. The first step to removing gay, is to educate about gay. Together we can beat this sickness.


If you feel your child has dabbled in some gay, please contact your local church and schedule a counselling meeting. Most likely your child has been exposed via public school, video games or song and dance TV shows. Only your pastor or priest will know how to cure this demon that has enter your child’s soul.


51 Christian Friendly Words for Female Masturbation

  1. Forcing moisture
  2. Rubbing the turkey wattle
  3. Ringing Satan’s doorbell
  4. Itching the fish goblin
  5. Making sticky
  6. Self stabbing
  7. Playing with the three finger penis
  8. Faking creation
  9. Dabbling the clam’s pearl
  10. Solo finger dancing
  11. Running circles around the flesh bump
  12. Playing vaginal sign language
  13. Finger painting the musky hitchhiker
  14. Hitting the speed bag
  15. Planting tulips
  16. Mining for the flesh diamond
  17. Stirring yogurt
  18. Tipping the canoe
  19. Dampening the soft pillow
  20. Plucking the peach field
  21. Secreting the blood gash
  22. Opening the escape hatch
  23. Kneading the dough ball
  24. Tickling the tangy turtle shell
  25. Downstairs Indian rug burning
  26. Smearing the swollen gush button
  27. Glazing the fish doughnut
  28. Poking at The Humpback of Notre Dame
  29. Polishing the drippy crack
  30. Dancing in soggy sin
  31. Ringing the throbbing bell
  32. Petting the sin knob
  33. Tainting the little princess
  34. Massaging the poison knot
  35. Feeling the hidden tumor
  36. Scrambling eggs
  37. Raiding God’s hen house
  38. Slapping Sally
  39. Hitting the old catcher’s mitt
  40. Flapping the meat nugget
  41. Flicking the blood bulge
  42. Climbing the furry beef dome
  43. Popping the headless zit
  44. Irrigating the secret garden
  45. Playing banjo
  46. Peeking behind the baby curtains
  47. Digging in your purse
  48. Whipping up underwear pudding
  49. Sending an urge telegraph
  50. Punching the meat eye
  51. North Dakota shake down

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals
51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex
51 Christian Friendly Words for Breasts
51 Christian Friendly Words for Male Masturbation
51 Christian Friendly Words for butthole

Masturbation 51 Christian Friendly Words for Male Masturbation



1. Post a comment on our Facebook page. Our Holy Facebook Page
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3. Person with the most votes at the end of the week wins a FREE copy.

Good luck and God bless!

“I’m the anti-ChristWire.” –Howard Stern

“It’s so good–and people on the Internet are so insane that no one gets it.” –Village Voice

“In the world of ChristWire. . .the recent increase of pet-on-pet rape is a pernicious consequence of same-sex marriage.” –New York Magazine

“The leading Internet site for ultraconservative Christian news, commentary, and weather reportage.” –The New York Times

“ChristWire’s genius (or evil) lies in its hypberbolic, worst-case scenario, Christian coverage of everything.” –

51 Christian Friendly Words for Butthole

  1. Anus dumpster
  2. Sewer hole
  3. Demon tunnel
  4. Chocolate spoke
  5. Sewer spout
  6. Fecal Cavern
  7. Mud goblet
  8. Crumpled swamp
  9. Brown gremlin air hole
  10. Feces muscle
  11. Taint’s vomit hole
  12. Fly yogurt dispenser
  13. Musky mumbler
  14. Homosexual’s harpoon target
  15. Satan’s stink eye
  16. The Harlem exit
  17. Grandmother’s syrup volcano
  18. Whistling black man
  19. Bruised bagel
  20. Back door belly button
  21. Michael Moore’s mouth
  22. Pudding blowhole
  23. Dribble dangus
  24. Neighbor of taint
  25. Black banana gun
  26. Gassy yawner
  27. Chocolate hot dog hallway
  28. Squinting scat squinter
  29. The rude sneezer
  30. Corny harvester
  31. The dirty cyclops
  32. Birther of turd
  33. Human tree ring
  34. Flesh donut
  35. Winking brownie door
  36. The angry hot pocket
  37. Backwards vacuum
  38. Lincoln’s log maker
  39. The drunken jazz player
  40. Monkey’s ammo pouch
  41. Dirty starfish
  42. Human fudge pincher
  43. Rusted Star of David
  44. Yoda’s forehead
  45. Wonka’s waste chute
  46. Sin socket
  47. Mouth of ass
  48. Quivering mud daisy
  49. Doo-doo cannon
  50. Excrement ejaculater
  51. James Brown

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals
51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex
51 Christian Friendly Words for Breasts
51 Christian Friendly Words for Male Masturbation

You can also watch Bryan Blake’s “Christian Phrases with Bryan Blake”:

Is Skyrim Teaching Your Children How to Perform "Rim Jobs" and Other Homo Erotic Sex Maneuvers?

What is Skyrim?
If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a foreign language to you. In games like Skyrim, players are teleported to far away lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting, violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but bombarded with gay under tones of fecal fornication.

In the land of Skyrim, the player starts off as a captured terrorist, who has been caught plotting to destroy the golden empire by using dragons. Before the player gets to take control of his avatar, they are asked to create a character, which is purely the liberal’s way of teaching out kids that modifying and gender changing one’s self is fun and normal. Once the player has decided if they want to be a female wood fairy or an black ogre from Stormwind, they get to take control of their hell spawned fictitious demon.

Right off the bat, the gay supporting software company Blizzard, shows the player images of decapitations and after the third of forth head chopping, a necromatic dragon appears and sets the player free from righteous punishment. Now that the player is free, they will spend the next 400 hours robbing people, killing villagers, crafting sexual items, fornicate with elves and other Harry Potter style animals and also learn how to conjure up black magic.

Throughout the game, the player is exposed to full frontal violence and replay style death killing finish moves. The graphics of this game are way too realistic for the type of blood shed they ejaculate all over the player’s CPU monitor.

The spells the player are taught are directly out of The Book of Wiccan and are far more dangerous than anything your child is watching on that Wizards at Waverly Place and Sabrina The Teenage Witch. When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations. This is subliminally teaching your children that they need to go in their rooms, demon whack their sin staff and produce sin milk into their hands and than fling it in the face of the first person they come in contact with after their taint tugging session.

Once they player has finish killing all the people in Skyrim, his final battle is to have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors he meets on his way and all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs. Once the dragon has been backdoor feasted, the player must kill it. The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs and reek havoc onto the rest of the world. This new destruction will be playable in the next Skyrim saga.

SKYRIM LINGO: DOVAHKIIN – Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
D – Dirty
O – Orifice
V – Violation
A – Always
H – Hurts
K – Keep
I – Injecting
I – It
N – Naiant

How Would My Child Get Access to Skyrim?

If your child doesn’t have the money to buy this game, be sure they are spending countless hours watching their bitttorrents download massive amounts of band widths to illegal obtain this demonic grail of violent dragon porn. Be sure to inspect all of their friend’s houses. Anyone of the evil axis of consoles; PlayStation 1,2 or 3, Gamecube or XBox 360 Live Kentic, could be lurking in one of their households.

If you do learn that one of your children’s friends doesn’t have proper parents and allows them to play on such vile machines, make sure your child knows that by playing with this friend will go against God and would send his soul to the fire pits of Hell.

What Gay Thing is This Gaming Teaching Kids

Skyrim Jobs – Skyrimming is a street term the gays use when talking about applying their tongues to the outer rim part of another man’s sewer spout, while that man is being hung upside down. See the gays have weird fetishes and are close to Satan. Satan speaks to them and tells them news ways on how to experience demonic orgasmic sin. Satan has recently taught our fecal fisting bandits that if you hang each other upside down and let the blood rush to the head, the anal dumpster becomes more sensitive to touch and we all know gays wake up and fall asleep just day dreaming about sticking something up their own or someone else’s sewer hole.

If you notice your son has become more light headed around the house, this is a definite warning that he has been Skyrim jobbing.

Dragon Fisting – Dragon fisting is a new way the gays enter each other’s mud goblets with both of their hands. The difference with dragon fisting, is they make sure to grow their nails very long and once inserted into their low t-cell counted friend, they make a tickling movement with their fingers and sends their mud monkey buddy into a demon infused enticement of gay rage.

Make sure to inspect the length and smell of your children’s finger nails on a daily basis.

Icy Spear – The Icy Spear is the name of an actual weapon in the game of Skyrim, but on the gay streets, it is where a gay freezes their meat banana with ice cubes and than forcefully injects their partner’s demon tunnel with their icy flesh spear.

If you notice that you never have ice cubes in your freeze, be sure that your son is freezing the anal caverns of other men in the neighborhood.


Christian Rating

51 Christian Friendly Words for Male Masturbation

  1. Demon whacking
  2. Choking the flesh weasle
  3. Forcing devil DNA
  4. Self milking
  5. Yanking the doodle’s dandy
  6. Flogging Hector
  7. One handed spear cleaning
  8. Drilling for white oil
  9. Taint tugging
  10. Kindling Satan’s wood
  11. The demonic stroke
  12. Polishing the muzzle
  13. Richard’s death choke
  14. Mother’s fear
  15. Non-fetal Abortion
  16. Angering the cream volcano
  17. Sin spanking
  18. Shaking hands with the false prophet
  19. Phantom fornication
  20. Cyclops puking
  21. Self raping
  22. Steven Erwin snake grab
  23. Clasping the tadpole torpedo
  24. Rubbing the venom vein
  25. Making Jesus cry
  26. Hasty hand groping
  27. Agitating the candy sacs
  28. Musky lumber jacking
  29. Fishing with Peter
  30. The silent sin
  31. Solo jousting
  32. Punching the elephant trunk
  33. Making heathen stew
  34. Polish pickle polish
  35. Smacking the Bishops sandwich
  36. Liberating the German soldier
  37. Bleeding the rooster
  38. Liquefying souls
  39. Wiggling the necromancer
  40. Marinating in sin sauce
  41. Making dead babies
  42. Painting with dark magic
  43. Sour cream wiggle
  44. Adding milk to your coffee
  45. Riding the subway solo
  46. Purging kid froth
  47. Playing with the finger puppet
  48. Vacuuming the do-dad
  49. Krazy glue shuffle
  50. Making a tablespoon of Holocaust
  51. Sending your mother oozy hate mail

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals
51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex
51 Christian Friendly Words for Breasts


Blacks Release "Raps Snacks" to Brainwash White Youth

Deep within the ghettos of America, hipped hopper drug slangers are working on consumer products that are marketed towards young white kids. Black record dealer owners, know that 86% of their record sales are from the blue eyed race and they know if they could market other products to children, they could capture another source of revenue to fuel their cracked coked caned habits. Their latest product, Rap Snacks. These ghetto bite sized snacks are branded to make you kids feel like they are getting the same foods as, Lil’ Roman and all the other “Lil” rapped hopped artists. It makes them feel like they are a part of the street gang struggle and allows them to get a taste of a welfare lifestyle at the cost of 200 calories.

With ever bite, your child will become more sassy and less motivated. They will develop a “chicken head” attitude and start “dissing” his moral values.

Once kids get hooked on these chips, they will want more ghetto-tastic flavorings. Next it will be Tupac Popcorn and than Will.i.spam cans. Once they have been sucked in so far into this black hole of despair, the next step will be black ghetto street drugs and prostitution.

Here is an example of young black attitude from last night’s X-factor. As you can see, the “Lil’ Astro” has the “I deserve everything cause I’m black” attitude. This is what you can expect when your children get sucked into a world of thuggery.

Black Friday is Racist and Needs to be Changed to White Friday

Black Friday, what a racist and inaccurate phrase. This term makes the day sound like something horrible is going to happen, like finding out your Harvard Law niece just got knocked up by some black kid who goes to some trade school, like Mount Ida. Black Friday doesn’t have a holiday cheer tone to it, nor does it make me want to go out and spend donation money on family gifts. No, it makes me want to stay at home and watch old black face movies and have a day full of laughs.

Let us get some hard facts straight, blacks don’t spend the majority of the money on this Friday, if we were going to name it after the lowest race of shoppers, why isn’t it called Mexican Viernes? The day should be called “White Friday” and stop this lying nonsense that blacks are the reason for great deals and bargains. Not only is White Friday the proper terminology, but it also sounds a lot more joyful and pure. I think more people would go out and shop if they knew that the day of hot savings was in honor of all the cash buyers and not the layaway loaners. Just like neighborhoods, the value and community productivity goes up when it is occupied by more than 97% of whites. I think the value of shopping would go up if we make this simple change.

Yes, we might of had the White House named after all of our race’s great achievements, but that doesn’t not mean we can be knuckle waffled and not get credit for dumping the most cash into the busiest shopping day of the year. Now, if they want to name something black, name it “Black First of the Month” or “Black Monday”, because everyone is their laziest the first day back to work. So this year, let us give some proper holiday cheer to the people who make sure that corporations make a nice profit during the holiday season and rename “Black Friday” to “White Friday” or even ‘Porcelain Friday”.

19 Things Occupiers Should Really Occupy

  1. A real degree
  2. Bar of soap
  3. AIDs test
  4. Non-fitted jeans
  5. Self respect
  6. Morals
  7. A job
  8. An original idea
  9. Jesus
  10. A country that is not America (preferably a Socialist country, where they openly kill their own people)
  11. Oncoming traffic
  12. A sense of reality
  13. Real American values
  14. A 2400 calorie diet
  15. A budget
  16. Heterosexual lifestyle
  17. An understanding of basic economics
  18. Chlamydia vaccine
  19. AA

Bryan Blake Drugged and Forced to Lie About Our Site on HSSS.TV

Just look at the photo above, poor Bryan Blake, drugged up and surrounded by Satan’s little ass miners. Bryan was invited to speak about our holy mission and instead, he was greeted by the bugling bicep’d bear, Aaron and was forced to take gay ecstasy drugs and was told that if he didn’t lie about the website, they would perform sick gay sexual pleasures on him. Scared for his life and soul, Bryan complied with the damns and as you can see in the video, he uncomfortably lied about our Holy message. He also told us that The Man Dyke, was constantly trying to slip its hands down his pants and say “Every play pool with a stick with tits?”.

Look at the sick and twisted description of the show below:


It’s finally here, the epic interview we’ve been waiting months for. Earlier this year, Opheliaand Aaron chatted about a blog post titled “20 Ways To Tell If Your Teenage Daughter is a Lesbian” found on the holiest of sites on the net, ChristWire, and since, HSSS been a target of their “righteously” brutal anti-homo agenda. We’ve shared several of their blogs and they’ve fought back by exposing us as the gerbilling, homo-facist ManDykes that we are. After months of back and forth, we nabbed the interview of the year – a sit down with ChristWire co-founder & regular contributor Bryan Blake. Tattooed, toned & very easy on the eyes, Bryan shared with us how ChristWire started and what it has grown to become, a virtual magnifying glass for the often over the top idiocy that is the ‘Religious Right.’ ChristWire receives millions of hits a month, with contributors from across the globe and has spawned not only a book (out next month,) but very soon, a play along the lines of theVagina Monologues. Get to know the man behind the Christ…wire. Oh, and speaking of vajayjay, here are 51 ChristWire-approved descriptors for the lady part that won’t make you sound like a vulgar heathen!



51 Christian Friendly Words for Breasts

  1. Sin treats
  2. Milk sacs
  3. Matching fatty tumors
  4. Devil gum drops
  5. Nutrition tanks
  6. Milk nipples
  7. Naughty pancakes
  8. Baby baggage
  9. Vixen dough balls
  10. Tainted plums
  11. Jezebel’s venom sacs
  12. Chest flap meat
  13. Feeding lumps
  14. Eve’s apples
  15. Fat tickle onions
  16. Clay brains
  17. Flesh dumplings
  18. Milk bottles
  19. Frank’s escaped puppies
  20. Top testicles
  21. Mounds of sin
  22. Blinding bumps
  23. Peeper floppers
  24. Hell’s pumpkins
  25. Dairy smoothies
  26. Danger glands
  27. Muffins with eyes
  28. Shirt balloons
  29. Human utters
  30. Bra bullets
  31. Calcium factories
  32. Wasp bites
  33. Potato creamers
  34. Mayan temples
  35. Rib boulders
  36. Peaks of Olympia
  37. Body air bags
  38. Nectar niblets
  39. Sponge zeppelins
  40. Wench candy
  41. Betty’s melon wobbles
  42. Stuffed turkeys
  43. Juan’ muchachas
  44. Bulging warheads
  45. Hypnotic dunes
  46. Milk bladders
  47. Beefy sugarplums
  48. Wrestling pigs
  49. Busting coconuts
  50. Seeing sandbags
  51. Meat peaks

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals
51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex

51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex

  1. Sin docking
  2. Fecal jousting
  3. Reverse deification
  4. Cramming the flirt-grill
  5. Spearing the chocolate starfish
  6. Mud gagging
  7. Pumping for Satan oil
  8. Fanny frolicking
  9. Plowing the fecal farm
  10. Poking the rude muscle
  11. Tainting the turd tunnel
  12. Mangling brown booty cakes
  13. Plundering the colon cavern
  14. Fondling Fred
  15. Surfing the feces freeway
  16. Alabama Irish shave
  17. Occupying the log cabin
  18. Packing the mud musket
  19. Playing Canadian Mounties
  20. Stirring bum fudge
  21. Impaling the anus
  22. Agitating the winking eye
  23. Defiling the Star of David
  24. Rectal harpooning
  25. Visiting Harlem
  26. Slurring the puking gorge
  27. Playing with the spoiled onion
  28. Mashing the sewer hole
  29. Groping the Mexican finger trap
  30. Tickling the bladder
  31. Bashing the flatulent tuba
  32. Double-crossing the “vagina
  33. Ripping the chowder head
  34. Marinating in fecal mucus
  35. Buffing the big wheel
  36. Playing in devil sauce
  37. Fecal curdling
  38. Invading Africa
  39. The prison dance
  40. Angering the corn dragon
  41. Greek handshake
  42. Danish leap frog
  43. Compton drive by
  44. Turnpike surprise
  45. Portuguese karate punch
  46. Skipping the fish dinner
  47. Fishing in the yuck hole
  48. San Francisco hemorrhoid massage
  49. Beating the crumpled eye
  50. Wearing a brown wig
  51. Filling the prairie hole

BONUS: Searching for mud hobbits.

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals

51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals

Gay Men

  1. Fecal fister
  2. Backdoor robber
  3. Chocolate swimmer
  4. Man sewer worker
  5. Turd tunneler
  6. Taint tickler
  7. Reverse poo pusher
  8. Mud monkey
  9. Low T-celler
  10. Fecal bandit
  11. Anal assassin
  12. Poo pirate
  13. Limp liberal
  14. Sugar plummed anal fairies
  15. Fondling Freds
  16. Ass alien
  17. Bottom burrower
  18. Totem poll sitters
  19. Disease addict
  20. Hot beef Harrys
  21. Winkle dandies
  22. Flesh sword fencers
  23. Phallic swindler
  24. Friend of Satan
  25. Butt pocket pan handler
  26. Anal tingle torturer
  27. Taint terrorist
  28. Vain worshiper
  29. Muscle cavern poker
  30. Brown saucy puncher
  31. Coco weasel
  32. Star gazer
  33. Mumble anus

Gay Women

  1. Clam dabbler
  2. Eve’s sister
  3. Satan’s Scissor Sally
  4. Crab captain
  5. Volleyball coach
  6. Fishy lollipop licker
  7. Tickler of the eye
  8. Flesh pearl Cannibal
  9. Clot slobber
  10. Fish cave worshiper
  11. Yeast fiend
  12. Flap elf
  13. Mississippi crawdad driver
  14. Blood venom slurper
  15. Fish garden mutt

Tranny Things

  1. Inny outy
  2. Inverted penile twister
  3. Man dyke

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse

51 Christian Friendly Words for Sexual Intercourse

We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “sex” or “sexual intercourse” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead. Also, please refer to our “vagina” and “penis” articles, so you can educate yourself on proper vaginal and penile terms.

  1. Sin docking
  2. Creation colliding
  3. Feeding the dragon
  4. Taming Eve
  5. Slaying the fish monster
  6. DNA injection
  7. Reading Shakespeare
  8. Spongy toad poking
  9. Cooking the turkey
  10. One eye claw qualling
  11. Saucy flirt grilling
  12. Satan’s lullaby
  13. Bashing the barnacle
  14. Gut hugging
  15. Woman’s duty
  16. Attacking Normandy
  17. Cooking with Betty Crocker
  18. Exploring the fish cave
  19. Man’s release
  20. Parting the red sea
  21. Figgle Farming
  22. Cracking the canker-blossom
  23. Jesus punching
  24. Cleaning the babies pathway
  25. Playing with the cat
  26. Tickling the oyster
  27. Milking the man staff
  28. Fancy slip in slide
  29. Secret wiggle
  30. Piping the yeasty barrel
  31. Feeding Miss Thompson
  32. Womb depositing
  33. Painting the temple
  34. Seeding the garden
  35. Satan’s peep show
  36. Twiddle rompus warming
  37. Reverse milking
  38. Baby injecting
  39. One eyed onion thrusting
  40. Hunting for dewberries
  41. Gagging the baby sewer
  42. Adam’s right
  43. God’s thundering tickle
  44. Splitting the wishbone
  45. Naughty waffling
  46. Phallic jousting
  47. Alabama genie rubbing
  48. Twaddle prodding
  49. Making Cosbys (this one is for black people)
  50. Clamdabbling (this one is for lesbians)
  51. Making AIDs (this one is for gays)

Please add your own in the comments below

51 Christian Friendly Words for Penis

We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “penis” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead. Also, please refer to our “vagina” article, so you can educate yourself on proper vaginal terms.

  1. Satan scepter
  2. God’s pinky finger
  3. Twiddle rompus
  4. Twaddle stick
  5. Flesh sword
  6. Rod of life
  7. DNA rifle
  8. Colorado spitting viper
  9. Master dangle
  10. Tadpole torpedo
  11. Life muscle
  12. Fleshy Roman spear
  13. Sin stick
  14. Johnson’s little fishing buddy
  15. Love lure
  16. Dwaddle vein
  17. Zulu chucking spear (this is for black people)
  18. Sin snake
  19. Squirt dart
  20. Malt-worm
  21. Puking flesh weasel
  22. Unmuzzled wagtail
  23. Beefy apple-Johnny
  24. Moses’ staff
  25. Pommel horse
  26. Fat-kidney bean
  27. God’s harpoon
  28. Tickle dangus
  29. Danish dizzy eye
  30. Henry’s knob
  31. Temptation wand
  32. Mister Thomas
  33. Roman pike
  34. Baker’s rolling pin
  35. Satan’s shovel
  36. Micheal’s short arm
  37. Secret lollipop
  38. Trap-stick
  39. Demon capped hankle (for non-circumcised males)
  40. Magic tobacco pipe
  41. Pan’s flute
  42. Cupid’s arrow
  43. Vaginal plug
  44. Venus ruler
  45. Oozing whistle
  46. Meat banana
  47. Gobble missile
  48. Tangy tart trombone
  49. City slicker
  50. Musky man candy
  51. Drizzle spout

Please add your own in the comments below

51 Christian Friendly Words for Vagina

We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “vagina” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead.

  1. Puff Pillow
  2. Fish Cave
  3. Baby Door
  4. Eve’s Tunnel
  5. Satan’s Doorbell (Clitoral muscle)
  6. Reverse Blowhole
  7. Skin Wand Scarf
  8. Egg Crate
  9. Bullet Wound
  10. Sin Flower
  11. Moist Camel Hump
  12. Harpy Nest
  13. Canker Blossom
  14. Silk Barnacle
  15.  Flap Dragon
  16. Clapper Claw
  17. Birth Cavern
  18. Flesh Wrap
  19. DNA Catcher
  20. Frothy Creek
  21. Satan’s Trap
  22. Sin Muscle
  23. Folded Flesh Leaf
  24. Harpoon Target
  25. Slurpin’ Salmon
  26. Devil’s Fun Slide
  27. Ovary Hallway
  28. Whispering Eye
  29. Secret Fish Forest
  30. Cat in The Hat
  31. Sin Sliver
  32. Devil Sponge
  33. Baby Portal
  34. Warm Potato
  35. Snake Trap
  36. Blood Sewer
  37. Twaddle Dandy
  38. Magic Crepe
  39. Satan’s Rose Bud
  40. Clack-dish
  41. Neighbor of Anus
  42. Pink Jello Box
  43. Rank Weasel
  44. Stripped Monkey
  45. Front Business
  46. Man’s Gift
  47. Wizard Sleeve
  48. The Liquid Slip
  49. Fleshy Fault Line
  50. Pink Velveeta Shell
  51. The Pubic Pub

Please add your own in the comments below