Category Archives: Christwire Buzz

Bryan Blake Drugged and Forced to Lie About Our Site on HSSS.TV

30 Replies

Just look at the photo above, poor Bryan Blake, drugged up and surrounded by Satan’s little ass miners. Bryan was invited to speak about our holy mission and instead, he was greeted by the bugling bicep’d bear, Aaron and was forced to take gay ecstasy drugs and was told that if he didn’t lie about the website, they would perform sick gay sexual pleasures on him. Scared for his life and soul, Bryan complied with the damns and as you can see in the video, he uncomfortably lied about our Holy message. He also told us that The Man Dyke, was constantly trying to slip its hands down his pants and say “Every play pool with a stick with tits?”.

Look at the sick and twisted description of the show below:

WATCH THE FULL EPISODE

It’s finally here, the epic interview we’ve been waiting months for. Earlier this year, Opheliaand Aaron chatted about a blog post titled “20 Ways To Tell If Your Teenage Daughter is a Lesbian” found on the holiest of sites on the net, ChristWire, and since, HSSS been a target of their “righteously” brutal anti-homo agenda. We’ve shared several of their blogs and they’ve fought back by exposing us as the gerbilling, homo-facist ManDykes that we are. After months of back and forth, we nabbed the interview of the year – a sit down with ChristWire co-founder & regular contributor Bryan Blake. Tattooed, toned & very easy on the eyes, Bryan shared with us how ChristWire started and what it has grown to become, a virtual magnifying glass for the often over the top idiocy that is the ‘Religious Right.’ ChristWire receives millions of hits a month, with contributors from across the globe and has spawned not only a book (out next month,) but very soon, a play along the lines of theVagina Monologues. Get to know the man behind the Christ…wire. Oh, and speaking of vajayjay, here are 51 ChristWire-approved descriptors for the lady part that won’t make you sound like a vulgar heathen!

 

WATCH THE FULL EPISODE

51 Christian Friendly Words for Breasts

14 Replies

  1. Sin treats
  2. Milk sacs
  3. Matching fatty tumors
  4. Devil gum drops
  5. Nutrition tanks
  6. Milk nipples
  7. Naughty pancakes
  8. Baby baggage
  9. Vixen dough balls
  10. Tainted plums
  11. Jezebel’s venom sacs
  12. Chest flap meat
  13. Feeding lumps
  14. Eve’s apples
  15. Fat tickle onions
  16. Clay brains
  17. Flesh dumplings
  18. Milk bottles
  19. Frank’s escaped puppies
  20. Top testicles
  21. Mounds of sin
  22. Blinding bumps
  23. Peeper floppers
  24. Hell’s pumpkins
  25. Dairy smoothies
  26. Danger glands
  27. Muffins with eyes
  28. Shirt balloons
  29. Human utters
  30. Bra bullets
  31. Calcium factories
  32. Wasp bites
  33. Potato creamers
  34. Mayan temples
  35. Rib boulders
  36. Peaks of Olympia
  37. Body air bags
  38. Nectar niblets
  39. Sponge zeppelins
  40. Wench candy
  41. Betty’s melon wobbles
  42. Stuffed turkeys
  43. Juan’ muchachas
  44. Bulging warheads
  45. Hypnotic dunes
  46. Milk bladders
  47. Beefy sugarplums
  48. Wrestling pigs
  49. Busting coconuts
  50. Seeing sandbags
  51. Meat peaks

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals
51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex

Christwire Posts to be Featured in NYC Play – Blogologues

9 Replies

Allison & Jen

Christwire was recently contacted and asked if our in depth stories could be used for a monologue in a play called “Blogologues”. Knowing that this play will be held in the heart of liberalism (NYC), we feel by allowing them to use our stories of uplifting Christianity, it might help inspire a few American hating New Yorkers to grow up and follow the path of God.

If you live in the area or will be in the area during the listed dates, please buy a ticket and be entertained by some lovely hipsters reenacting God’s word.

UPDATE: Click here to listen to their podcasts

We’re part of a six month series at UNDER St. Marks in which we perform new blogologues every month. The next rendition will only be on November 28th at 7:30 and 9:30 PM, but tickets are on sale now at smarttix.com for November as well as the rest of the series. Our December date is Friday the 30th and our January date is Monday the 30th, all at 7:30/9:30. Tickets are $15 including a beer. For more information visit our site: livelyproductions.org.

Blogologues™ brings your favorite blog posts to the stage– as well as other wacky online material that probably shouldn’t be read out loud. Conceived by Allison Goldberg and Jen Jamula, Blogologues gives voice to those texts from last night, what’s overheard in New York, and your missed connections. A hilarious romp through the interwebs.

BLOGOLOGUERS:

 

Allison Goldberg is a Co-Founder of Lively Productions and is currently a Co-Artistic Director with Jen Jamula. Allison and Jen have been working together since their time at Yale and, in addition to their stage endeavors, recently launched a vlog together (whyareyouonmytrain.com) in which they interview strangers on the New York City subway. Allison has performed in and produced many of Lively Productions’ Manhattan-based productions, including the award-winning Fringe Festival hit “Paper Dolls.” Other credits include Revolution on the Roof (FringeNYC), Macbeth (OTE, Theater Row), Writers’ Colony (Fresh Fruit Festival), Cinderella’s Mice (Vital Theatre Company), and the Hoop Dee Doo Revue(Disney); voice over clients include Lego and TD Canada Trust. She has also performed in several projects with Artistic New Directions, most recently as Patti in a new play based on the NYC Department of Education re-assignment centers. Allison graduated cum laude from Yale University with degrees in Theater Studies and Near Eastern Languages and Civilizations and has been a member of Actors Equity Association since 2006.

Jen Jamula is a theater artist and yogini, as well as Co-Artistic Director of Lively Productions with Allison Goldberg.  She has been acting with the company since 2007.  Recent Lively projects include co-creating and performing inBlogologues: Sex, Drugs and Interwebs, and directing a series of podcast monologues for techno-romance experts, wtfisupwithmylovelife.com. She and Allison also maintain the weekly video blog, whyareyouonmytrain.com. Acting credits include: Paper Dolls (Claire), NY Fringe Best Ensemble Award; A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Helena) with Friches Théâtre Urbain, Paris; Only We Who Guard The Mystery Shall Be Unhappy (Laura Bush) at Yale; and The Motherf**ker With The Hat (Victoria), a reading of Stephen Adly Guirgis’ new play with Maggie Flanigan directing at the 2010 LAByrinth Theater Company Intensive Ensemble. She studies singing with Jane Olian and Linklater voice with Jordan Dann, and recently became Artistic Producer of Mud/Bone Collective. Jen graduated from Yale University in 2005 with distinction in Theater Studies and is a proud member of Actors Equity. She teaches yoga privately in NYC (www.doyogawithjen.com).

Matthew Cox (actor) is thrilled to make his NYC debut in Blogologues! He is a recent graduate of Tarleton State University in Stephenville, Texas (The Cowboy Capital of the World), where he received a B.F.A in Theatre. Recent acting credits include: The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (Panch); Carlo Goldoni’s The Servant of Two Masters (Smeraldina); Picasso at the Lapin Agile(Einstein); Major Barbara (Adolphus Cusins); The Misanthrope (Alceste); and Godspell(Jesus). Matthew also attended the 2011 Summer Conservatory at the Stella Adler Studio of Acting in New York City. Enjoy!

* Matthew Cox was also seen in Rocktober Blogologues: It’s Freaking Fall

 Chad Anthony Miller (actor) is a lapsed academic who is returning to acting via film, television, theatre, and the Upright Citizens Brigade stage.  You can catch his mug on Celebrity Ghost Stories, PM Sports, CollegeHumor, as well as commercials for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Video Game, Allstate, and Heineken. He recently flew as the infamous Jet Blue flight attendant, Steven Slater, in Hyper Aware Theatre Company’s Wild Blue. Film projects include the collaborative movie An Ordinary Family, which made its premier at the LA Film Festival in June, as well as the indie feature Damned If you Do. His upcoming web series include Team Allies, This Is Art, Therapy, Realign’d, and BB ROO and Friends. He most recently wrapped a tv pilot in LA entitled Blowin’ Up. Find him atwww.facebook.com/chadanthonymiller

Wendy Joy is super psyched to be making her Blogologuesdebut!  She can be seen improvising in the revolving cast of Sunday Night Improv.  She is vice-president on the Board of Directors for Artist New Directions (AND) and studies improvisation with AND.  She hails from Florida, but is glad to be going on her third year of actually having seasons.  She would like to thank GOD, Spankie, and the hilarious cast that has enlightened her spiritually, mmmmmm, spiritually!

51 Christian Friendly Words for Anal Sex

14 Replies

  1. Sin docking
  2. Fecal jousting
  3. Reverse deification
  4. Cramming the flirt-grill
  5. Spearing the chocolate starfish
  6. Mud gagging
  7. Pumping for Satan oil
  8. Fanny frolicking
  9. Plowing the fecal farm
  10. Poking the rude muscle
  11. Tainting the turd tunnel
  12. Mangling brown booty cakes
  13. Plundering the colon cavern
  14. Fondling Fred
  15. Surfing the feces freeway
  16. Alabama Irish shave
  17. Occupying the log cabin
  18. Packing the mud musket
  19. Playing Canadian Mounties
  20. Stirring bum fudge
  21. Impaling the anus
  22. Agitating the winking eye
  23. Defiling the Star of David
  24. Rectal harpooning
  25. Visiting Harlem
  26. Slurring the puking gorge
  27. Playing with the spoiled onion
  28. Mashing the sewer hole
  29. Groping the Mexican finger trap
  30. Tickling the bladder
  31. Bashing the flatulent tuba
  32. Double-crossing the “vagina“
  33. Ripping the chowder head
  34. Marinating in fecal mucus
  35. Buffing the big wheel
  36. Playing in devil sauce
  37. Fecal curdling
  38. Invading Africa
  39. The prison dance
  40. Angering the corn dragon
  41. Greek handshake
  42. Danish leap frog
  43. Compton drive by
  44. Turnpike surprise
  45. Portuguese karate punch
  46. Skipping the fish dinner
  47. Fishing in the yuck hole
  48. San Francisco hemorrhoid massage
  49. Beating the crumpled eye
  50. Wearing a brown wig
  51. Filling the prairie hole

BONUS: Searching for mud hobbits.

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse
51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals

51 Christian Friendly Words for Homosexuals

126 Replies

Gay Men

  1. Fecal fister
  2. Backdoor robber
  3. Chocolate swimmer
  4. Man sewer worker
  5. Turd tunneler
  6. Taint tickler
  7. Reverse poo pusher
  8. Mud monkey
  9. Low T-celler
  10. Fecal bandit
  11. Anal assassin
  12. Poo pirate
  13. Limp liberal
  14. Sugar plummed anal fairies
  15. Fondling Freds
  16. Ass alien
  17. Bottom burrower
  18. Totem poll sitters
  19. Disease addict
  20. Hot beef Harrys
  21. Winkle dandies
  22. Flesh sword fencers
  23. Phallic swindler
  24. Friend of Satan
  25. Butt pocket pan handler
  26. Anal tingle torturer
  27. Taint terrorist
  28. Vain worshiper
  29. Muscle cavern poker
  30. Brown saucy puncher
  31. Coco weasel
  32. Star gazer
  33. Mumble anus

Gay Women

  1. Clam dabbler
  2. Eve’s sister
  3. Satan’s Scissor Sally
  4. Crab captain
  5. Volleyball coach
  6. Fishy lollipop licker
  7. Tickler of the eye
  8. Flesh pearl Cannibal
  9. Clot slobber
  10. Fish cave worshiper
  11. Yeast fiend
  12. Flap elf
  13. Mississippi crawdad driver
  14. Blood venom slurper
  15. Fish garden mutt

Tranny Things

  1. Inny outy
  2. Inverted penile twister
  3. Man dyke

Also view:
51 Christian Friendly Words for vagina
51 Christian Friendly Words for penis
51 Christian Friendly Words for sexual intercourse

51 Christian Friendly Words for Sexual Intercourse

16 Replies

We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “sex” or “sexual intercourse” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead. Also, please refer to our “vagina” and “penis” articles, so you can educate yourself on proper vaginal and penile terms.

  1. Sin docking
  2. Creation colliding
  3. Feeding the dragon
  4. Taming Eve
  5. Slaying the fish monster
  6. DNA injection
  7. Reading Shakespeare
  8. Spongy toad poking
  9. Cooking the turkey
  10. One eye claw qualling
  11. Saucy flirt grilling
  12. Satan’s lullaby
  13. Bashing the barnacle
  14. Gut hugging
  15. Woman’s duty
  16. Attacking Normandy
  17. Cooking with Betty Crocker
  18. Exploring the fish cave
  19. Man’s release
  20. Parting the red sea
  21. Figgle Farming
  22. Cracking the canker-blossom
  23. Jesus punching
  24. Cleaning the babies pathway
  25. Playing with the cat
  26. Tickling the oyster
  27. Milking the man staff
  28. Fancy slip in slide
  29. Secret wiggle
  30. Piping the yeasty barrel
  31. Feeding Miss Thompson
  32. Womb depositing
  33. Painting the temple
  34. Seeding the garden
  35. Satan’s peep show
  36. Twiddle rompus warming
  37. Reverse milking
  38. Baby injecting
  39. One eyed onion thrusting
  40. Hunting for dewberries
  41. Gagging the baby sewer
  42. Adam’s right
  43. God’s thundering tickle
  44. Splitting the wishbone
  45. Naughty waffling
  46. Phallic jousting
  47. Alabama genie rubbing
  48. Twaddle prodding
  49. Making Cosbys (this one is for black people)
  50. Clamdabbling (this one is for lesbians)
  51. Making AIDs (this one is for gays)

Please add your own in the comments below

51 Christian Friendly Words for Penis

35 Replies

We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “penis” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead. Also, please refer to our “vagina” article, so you can educate yourself on proper vaginal terms.

  1. Satan scepter
  2. God’s pinky finger
  3. Twiddle rompus
  4. Twaddle stick
  5. Flesh sword
  6. Rod of life
  7. DNA rifle
  8. Colorado spitting viper
  9. Master dangle
  10. Tadpole torpedo
  11. Life muscle
  12. Fleshy Roman spear
  13. Sin stick
  14. Johnson’s little fishing buddy
  15. Love lure
  16. Dwaddle vein
  17. Zulu chucking spear (this is for black people)
  18. Sin snake
  19. Squirt dart
  20. Malt-worm
  21. Puking flesh weasel
  22. Unmuzzled wagtail
  23. Beefy apple-Johnny
  24. Moses’ staff
  25. Pommel horse
  26. Fat-kidney bean
  27. God’s harpoon
  28. Tickle dangus
  29. Danish dizzy eye
  30. Henry’s knob
  31. Temptation wand
  32. Mister Thomas
  33. Roman pike
  34. Baker’s rolling pin
  35. Satan’s shovel
  36. Micheal’s short arm
  37. Secret lollipop
  38. Trap-stick
  39. Demon capped hankle (for non-circumcised males)
  40. Magic tobacco pipe
  41. Pan’s flute
  42. Cupid’s arrow
  43. Vaginal plug
  44. Venus ruler
  45. Oozing whistle
  46. Meat banana
  47. Gobble missile
  48. Tangy tart trombone
  49. City slicker
  50. Musky man candy
  51. Drizzle spout

Please add your own in the comments below

51 Christian Friendly Words for Vagina

75 Replies


We have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “vagina” on our site and social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead.

  1. Puff Pillow
  2. Fish Cave
  3. Baby Door
  4. Eve’s Tunnel
  5. Satan’s Doorbell (Clitoral muscle)
  6. Reverse Blowhole
  7. Skin Wand Scarf
  8. Egg Crate
  9. Bullet Wound
  10. Sin Flower
  11. Moist Camel Hump
  12. Harpy Nest
  13. Canker Blossom
  14. Silk Barnacle
  15.  Flap Dragon
  16. Clapper Claw
  17. Birth Cavern
  18. Flesh Wrap
  19. DNA Catcher
  20. Frothy Creek
  21. Satan’s Trap
  22. Sin Muscle
  23. Folded Flesh Leaf
  24. Harpoon Target
  25. Slurpin’ Salmon
  26. Devil’s Fun Slide
  27. Ovary Hallway
  28. Whispering Eye
  29. Secret Fish Forest
  30. Cat in The Hat
  31. Sin Sliver
  32. Devil Sponge
  33. Baby Portal
  34. Warm Potato
  35. Snake Trap
  36. Blood Sewer
  37. Twaddle Dandy
  38. Magic Crepe
  39. Satan’s Rose Bud
  40. Clack-dish
  41. Neighbor of Anus
  42. Pink Jello Box
  43. Rank Weasel
  44. Stripped Monkey
  45. Front Business
  46. Man’s Gift
  47. Wizard Sleeve
  48. The Liquid Slip
  49. Fleshy Fault Line
  50. Pink Velveeta Shell
  51. The Pubic Pub

Please add your own in the comments below

This is What Communism Looks Like

18 Replies

For all you up twinkle fingered Communists in Oakland and New York City, if you really want this country to go down the drain and turn into some kind of candy land of Heavenly Communism, please take a look at what the future holds. Below are 32 images of dirty, no good Commies and the filth and garbage they live in.

From guitar playing pigeons to lesbian hooker soccer teams, these images are full of warnings of why we must stop these hipster occupiers, or we will live in a land full of street walk cover dog sex and fat lady on the beach aerobics.

PLEASE REMOVE CHILDREN AND WOMEN OUT OF THE ROOM BEFORE VIEWING.

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Planned Parenthood and 16 and Pregnant Team up to Promote Teen Abortion

6 Replies

We all know that Planned Parenthood is funded by Socialist politicians and Communist foreigners and that the company itself sponsors orgy festivals like Coachella, Bonnaroo and Warped Tour. We even know they are the ones behind removing toys from Happy Meals, so they can ruin the dreams of children and turn them into depressed emosexuals and hipsters (these groups of people make up 96% of all abortion clients).

You see, while Planned Parenthood is vacuuming out life from a minor’s baby hole, they are also promoting tweenager sex at the same time. They know they need a steady stream of knocked up and ashamed kids to keep up with their month abortion quota. The more abortions they give, the more these outside companies pay them. Not to mention they love pleasing Satan with fetus sacrifices.

Planned Parenthood and Mtv sitcom, 16 and Pregnant, have teamed up to breed their next superstars. Planned Parenthood is forking over the cash to start a new “viral” campaign to get girls to submit their teen pregnancy photos to sites like imgur and tinypic. Once uploaded, the photos are shared across the Planned Parenthood network for voting. They already know 16 and Pregnant does its job to promote that being knocked up is “cool”, so they know there is a slew of girls just waiting to upload their naughty belly photos in hopes of being the next reality super moron. The girls with the most shocking photos will star on Mtv’s next project “16 and Aborting”. This new show will teach young girls that they can go out and have sassafrass tickle sex rubs, get on television, get paid and than void their belly of responsibly.

Here is proof of the chaos that is brewing on the internet. Girls are asking the world for tips on how to get the “coolest” pregnancy, so they can increase their chances of being cast on the TV series.

BELOW ARE ACTUAL SUBMISSIONS FROM HOPEFUL CAST MEMBERS. PLEASE REMOVE WOMEN AND MALE CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 21 OUT OF THE ROOM. IMAGERY OF EXPOSED LEGS, ARMS AND STOMACH REGIONS ARE SHOWN.

Very sickening and scary if you ask me. Notice that the Afro-saxon community is eating up this opportunity.

I think as American’s we should take the following image as an example of how we should be protecting our daughters from the vile suction cup of abortion.

He Said She Said Again Tries to Bash Our Holy Site

11 Replies

After many requests to have their NC17 television show banned from the airwaves, the deep anal duo known as super man dyke and P90X boy, have ignore our Holy gesture and continue to pollute the world with vicious gayness and homosexual antics. Last Monday, the quivering penile worshipers yet again went on their show to not only spread their gay agenda, but to also try and butt bash our Holy name.

To prove how disgusting and immoral the show is, Man Dyke decides to even give an anal fisting tip called “Gerbil Tickling”, which is a sex technique “She” uses when “She” is involved in an interracial gay sex party.

After the demonic sex tip, the team reads our article about them and they giggle in gay dismay. They even tried to praise one of their homo supporters, who falsely commented on our post, but we have anti gay technologies that block iPads and other homo gay products from praising such filth.

You can also follow Aaron on his Tweeter @AHizz and see how the homosexuals are turning Twitter into a cesspool of power bottoms and rough riding deep slammer tops. Also make sure to visit their site and contact their producer and request the show be removed. Instead of the hippies fighting for their laziness, they should be occupying HeSaidSheSaid instead. Gays are far more dangerous than any Wall Street stock broker.

The anti-God jibberish starts at 15:20 into the show.

8 Reasons to Date a White Man

55 Replies

Leviticus 19:19:
“Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind …”

I’m not one for interracial sinning, but I also don’t support unhappy marriages, so if I had to pick a lesser of two evils, I rather have a black woman date and marry a white male and not get into an abusive relationship with a drive-less and aggressive black male. Below I have listed 8 reasons why chocolate skinned ladies should drop their sinful “brothas” and get with it and date a porcelain skinned real man. Hopefully these “sisters” act and nab up a successful powder lover before the other races catch wind of their worth.

Job

We all know that the white man by standard has a high paying and stable job. A white man not having a good job is like having a rodeo without a testicle tied bull, it just isn’t going to happen people. Think about it ladies, how would you like to tell Snaiqua and Lil’ Monique that your man is some big wig down town and that his weekly check is worth more than 5,000 hair weaves. Those girls would “be gettan” jealous and you’d be the talk of the ghetto. Now, you will be even more popular when you tell them that they can all have some successful white meat because there is a whole sea of tuna wanting to be gobbled up by a black snapper.

Notice that whites have 85% employment, the only reason it isn’t 100% is because 15% of them are retired, so you’re chances of getting a successful white man is as easy as cashing a check advance.

Now let us look and see what each race’s typical job is:

Credit Rating

No, not street credit, this kind of credit allows people to buy things like a new car, house, get credit cards and get jobs. White men have a lot of this kind of credit and trust me it is a fantastic thing to have. Did you know in the blink of an eye, your new white toy could get you a new car that isn’t from the 90’s or isn’t named “fiesta” or “geo”? Within a matter of weeks your new 780 boyfriend will be fashioning you with expensive items and trips that weren’t booked last minute on Travelocity.

Ownership of Items

“Lease” isn’t a word you will ever hear with your white knight as all his items have been paid in cash or he used his good credit to get a low APR on his payments. Unlike the typical black man, you won’t have to worry if he still has a “ride” after his lease from Hyundai is up.

No Baby Mama Drama

With black men you can never get piece and quite. His Boost Mobile phone is always ringing with his baby mama’s calling him and “axing” him where their money is. Now think about going a week without having a crazy lady trying to find out where you live because you are with “her man” and she is out to “keep it real” with you. With white men, you will never have to worry about drama as they don’t usually have babies out of wedlock and if they do, they pay their child support and pay their sinful living exs to keep them out of their business. You can be at peace knowing you will knew have to weave yank a hoochie when you date a white man.

Buy The Christwire Handbook

Educated

There is a big difference between four years at a community college and four years at Harvard. You see, the white household embraces education, while the black household usually goes by the “learn it on the street” motto. Now both are ways to learn how the world works, but only one gets you working in the world.

Not Abusive

When white men get angry they go out and do yoga or some other passive aggressive activity and return to you to discuss any issues. Instead of raising a hand in violence, the white man will raise his voice to correct anything you may have done wrong. Now remember, they are more educated and have a better understanding about things, so take their suggestions and reasoning to heart and understand they are trying to make you a better person, not break you down. What would you rather have, a black eye or a life lesson?

Non-dangerous Friends

No more will you have to worry if a guy by the name of “Lil three” or “Funk Dawg” is going to pop off rounds of 9mm shells for no reason. With the white friend circle, the only thing “popping off” is philosophical conversations and political humor.

Drug Abuse

We all know that the ghetto streets are caked with dusty nose treats that take ones life down a path of violence and Obamacare. Instead of having to worry if your snuggle bug is going to be gunned down for that nickle sack in his FuBu back pocket, the only thing you’ll need to worry about with your new white hero is if he took enough of his daily recommended vitamins.

Let us take a gander and peak at what you will typically find in each race’s drug cabinet at their place of residence:

Homo Gay Statues Across The World

10 Replies

There isn’t a corner of the planet that isn’t safe from the fecal soiled hands of the Homo Gay Agenda. In the photos below you will see the stiffness of their movement from the past 1,000 years of their vile existence.


Here we have a statue of a homosexual trying to ram his fecal plunger into some warm mud. This statue shows you that homosexuals will drop their twiddle rompus into anything that is warm and oozy brown.


This statue shows two ruff and buff muscle homos entangled in a sexual “bear” hug. In Roman times, the homosexual who passed out first from their opponents tight grip ended up being the “power bottom” for the nights sexual endeavors.


This is a group of homosexuals talking about how their life struggles are just as hard as the afro-saxons. In these “gossip circles” gays make plans on how to make people feel sorry for them.


This statue is showing the act of homosexual mouth sex acts. You can see the “bear” is holding his “twink” down in a dominate manner and forcing him to play a game jazz trumpet on his sass whistle.


Gays love to display their syphilis encrusted testicles in public fashions and this statue shows a gay giant flashing his musky candy sacs off to unaware bystanders.


Do we even need to explain what is going on here? We all know what gays do to little boys and that is as far as I will go with this description.


Gays love to play a game called “fecal finger” and this piece of “art” depicts two flocking fancy fannys skipping naked while they try to ramp their fingers up each other’s sewer holes.


We all know gays have a fetish for man on animal fornication and this statue shows that this sick obsession was even present in the gay community, even before Internet nasty sites.

Celebjihad.com Posts Taylor Swift Topless Pictures and Deserves an Online Genocide

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taylor swift toplessLet me get one thing straight, Taylor Swift is a Christian angel and anyone how tries to violate her milk sacs with Photoshopped imagery and black magic, deserves to be tied up in a public square and be burned on national television! A website by the vile name “CelebJihad” has made it their mission to falsely ruin the careers of any Christian that finds themselves in Hollywood’s spotlight. You see, Hollywood is ran by liberals and liberals well Muslim extemists into their hearts and they pay companies like Celebjihad to post fake photos of Taylor Swift Topless, in hopes of destroying her raging God given career.

I ask for every God loving Christian and Jew to raise up and call for a digital genocide against these monsters! Their souls will be banned to hell for sure, so let us take action into our own hands and send them to God for final judgement and we can laugh while Satan anally invades them with savage frenzy!

To show you the kind of filth and toilet talk that spews from these Internet towel terrorists, here is a quote from their website attacking Taylor for filing a lawsuit against them:

We here at Celeb Jihad vow that there will be serious repercussions for Taylor Swift if she dares to follow through on her threat of a lawsuit against us.

We have already reached out to the Iranian embassy to see about filing charges in Sharia Court against Taylor Swift for her egregious crimes against Islam and morality. Of course as everyone knows Sharia law is the one true law, and it trumps any sort of silly civil action Taylor Swift may take in an American court.

Furthermore, we pay good money for a special Internet filter to keep women, Jews, and homosexuals off our holy Muslim website. But in the past few days we have received such an influx of traffic from perverted Taylor Swift fans that it has overwhelmed our filter and interrupted service for dedicated Jihadists looking for the latest celebrity gossip.

So we demand that all Taylor Swift fans leave our site at once and never return! Taylor Swift’s fans are foul-mouthed and ill-mannered (much like their idol), and their taste in music and role models leave little doubt that they are beyond redemption. If Taylor Swift’s fans do not leave soon we will be left with no choice but to issue fatwas against each and everyone of them.

4 Dogs That Will Tell You a Dog Owner is a Homosexual Man

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Dogs are man’s best friend, not a man’s accessory to enhance their tightly groan pressed skinny jeans and P90X peck pushed v-neck shirt. Throughout history some dogs were breed from hunting tools into companions and toys for females and young children. Now in modern days, the world has been shifted to be more flamboyant when it comes to dog ownership and each dog says something about its owner. Below is a list of typical dogs owned by homosexual males. This list will helpy ou identify any frolicking fecal fairies in your neighborhood. Remember, the last thing you want is a sneaky homo being a part of your women’s dog walking morning activities. They will feel your women’s heads with fantasies of “Sex in the City” lifestyles or convince them to become fag hags.

Pomeranian
Just like the ferret, homosexuals use Pomeranians as fetish anal pleasure toys. If you notice one of your gym buddies or neighbors walking these pint size butt plugs, make sure they are a Megan’s Law distance from your children.

Shih Tzu
Nothing screams “Chocolate Butt Pudding Pirate” like these little commie canines. Shih Tzu were illegally shipped to America in the 1980’s during the American gay outbreak epidemic. Homosexuals would pay up to $50,000 for one of these fuzzy rodents and just like rodents they are breed themselves across American and into the households of many gay couples. So, not only are the owners dilly dappers, they also support Communist China.

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Chihuahua
Just like their Mexican importers, Chihuahuas are smelly, weak, lazy and require you to take care of them 24/7.This is why the gays love them. Gays like their prey to be weak and needy and by having a Chihuahua in their man purse at all times, it makes them feel like they have their young child prey with them at all times. If you see one of these dogs popping out of the bag of a man at a PTA meeting, inform the school principle of a possible child stalker walking the campus.

Pug
Let’s face it, these dogs look like a rectal star and we all know that another man’s anus is the gays favorite food. If you see a man and at the end of his leash is a pug, you will know for a fact that they are a fine dinner of musky man sewer hole.

Perfect Halloween Treats to Give to Kids This Year

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If you’re like me, you hate seeing the neighborhood rugrats being pumped up with sugar and artery clogging candy each year. Instead of handing out sugary death pieces to kids, I always hand out help and wholesome items when kids knock on the Bowers doorbell. Below is a list of items I feel every household should be handing out at Halloween this year.