Category Archives: Investigative

8 Reasons to Date a White Man

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Leviticus 19:19:
“Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind …”

I’m not one for interracial sinning, but I also don’t support unhappy marriages, so if I had to pick a lesser of two evils, I rather have a black woman date and marry a white male and not get into an abusive relationship with a drive-less and aggressive black male. Below I have listed 8 reasons why chocolate skinned ladies should drop their sinful “brothas” and get with it and date a porcelain skinned real man. Hopefully these “sisters” act and nab up a successful powder lover before the other races catch wind of their worth.

Job

We all know that the white man by standard has a high paying and stable job. A white man not having a good job is like having a rodeo without a testicle tied bull, it just isn’t going to happen people. Think about it ladies, how would you like to tell Snaiqua and Lil’ Monique that your man is some big wig down town and that his weekly check is worth more than 5,000 hair weaves. Those girls would “be gettan” jealous and you’d be the talk of the ghetto. Now, you will be even more popular when you tell them that they can all have some successful white meat because there is a whole sea of tuna wanting to be gobbled up by a black snapper.

Notice that whites have 85% employment, the only reason it isn’t 100% is because 15% of them are retired, so you’re chances of getting a successful white man is as easy as cashing a check advance.

Now let us look and see what each race’s typical job is:

Credit Rating

No, not street credit, this kind of credit allows people to buy things like a new car, house, get credit cards and get jobs. White men have a lot of this kind of credit and trust me it is a fantastic thing to have. Did you know in the blink of an eye, your new white toy could get you a new car that isn’t from the 90’s or isn’t named “fiesta” or “geo”? Within a matter of weeks your new 780 boyfriend will be fashioning you with expensive items and trips that weren’t booked last minute on Travelocity.

Ownership of Items

“Lease” isn’t a word you will ever hear with your white knight as all his items have been paid in cash or he used his good credit to get a low APR on his payments. Unlike the typical black man, you won’t have to worry if he still has a “ride” after his lease from Hyundai is up.

No Baby Mama Drama

With black men you can never get piece and quite. His Boost Mobile phone is always ringing with his baby mama’s calling him and “axing” him where their money is. Now think about going a week without having a crazy lady trying to find out where you live because you are with “her man” and she is out to “keep it real” with you. With white men, you will never have to worry about drama as they don’t usually have babies out of wedlock and if they do, they pay their child support and pay their sinful living exs to keep them out of their business. You can be at peace knowing you will knew have to weave yank a hoochie when you date a white man.

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Educated

There is a big difference between four years at a community college and four years at Harvard. You see, the white household embraces education, while the black household usually goes by the “learn it on the street” motto. Now both are ways to learn how the world works, but only one gets you working in the world.

Not Abusive

When white men get angry they go out and do yoga or some other passive aggressive activity and return to you to discuss any issues. Instead of raising a hand in violence, the white man will raise his voice to correct anything you may have done wrong. Now remember, they are more educated and have a better understanding about things, so take their suggestions and reasoning to heart and understand they are trying to make you a better person, not break you down. What would you rather have, a black eye or a life lesson?

Non-dangerous Friends

No more will you have to worry if a guy by the name of “Lil three” or “Funk Dawg” is going to pop off rounds of 9mm shells for no reason. With the white friend circle, the only thing “popping off” is philosophical conversations and political humor.

Drug Abuse

We all know that the ghetto streets are caked with dusty nose treats that take ones life down a path of violence and Obamacare. Instead of having to worry if your snuggle bug is going to be gunned down for that nickle sack in his FuBu back pocket, the only thing you’ll need to worry about with your new white hero is if he took enough of his daily recommended vitamins.

Let us take a gander and peak at what you will typically find in each race’s drug cabinet at their place of residence:

4 Dogs That Will Tell You a Dog Owner is a Homosexual Man

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Dogs are man’s best friend, not a man’s accessory to enhance their tightly groan pressed skinny jeans and P90X peck pushed v-neck shirt. Throughout history some dogs were breed from hunting tools into companions and toys for females and young children. Now in modern days, the world has been shifted to be more flamboyant when it comes to dog ownership and each dog says something about its owner. Below is a list of typical dogs owned by homosexual males. This list will helpy ou identify any frolicking fecal fairies in your neighborhood. Remember, the last thing you want is a sneaky homo being a part of your women’s dog walking morning activities. They will feel your women’s heads with fantasies of “Sex in the City” lifestyles or convince them to become fag hags.

Pomeranian
Just like the ferret, homosexuals use Pomeranians as fetish anal pleasure toys. If you notice one of your gym buddies or neighbors walking these pint size butt plugs, make sure they are a Megan’s Law distance from your children.

Shih Tzu
Nothing screams “Chocolate Butt Pudding Pirate” like these little commie canines. Shih Tzu were illegally shipped to America in the 1980’s during the American gay outbreak epidemic. Homosexuals would pay up to $50,000 for one of these fuzzy rodents and just like rodents they are breed themselves across American and into the households of many gay couples. So, not only are the owners dilly dappers, they also support Communist China.

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Chihuahua
Just like their Mexican importers, Chihuahuas are smelly, weak, lazy and require you to take care of them 24/7.This is why the gays love them. Gays like their prey to be weak and needy and by having a Chihuahua in their man purse at all times, it makes them feel like they have their young child prey with them at all times. If you see one of these dogs popping out of the bag of a man at a PTA meeting, inform the school principle of a possible child stalker walking the campus.

Pug
Let’s face it, these dogs look like a rectal star and we all know that another man’s anus is the gays favorite food. If you see a man and at the end of his leash is a pug, you will know for a fact that they are a fine dinner of musky man sewer hole.

Gaia Online Has Grown Into a Violent Breeding Ground for Future Transgenders and Drug Users

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Evil Gaia Online homo gay avatar

Right off the bat, your children are given a grieve warning before entering in the world of musky phallic scented decay. The warning on the site reads:

Founded in 2003, Gaia Online has grown into one of the biggest forum communities in the world. Today, Gaia is the best place on the web to discuss anime, games, comics, sci-fi, fantasy and anything else you can imagine. Plus, there are tons of other free features to keep Gaia members permanently amused.

“Anime, games, comics, sci-fi, fantasy and anything else you can imagine“, does this mean there are rooms were people can talk about rainbow painted homosexual monkeys that fornicate with chocolate puppies? Does this mean Freddy “Fondle Fingers” can create a world of apple-johnny grabby fingers for underage Sponge Boy fans or a GLEE fan can concoct a cesspool of anal drug taking circles, mixed with a interracial orgies for your unsupervised child to gaze upon? Does this also mean that DDF Craiglist homosexuals will be able to create worlds of sexual violence and disease and openly invite your children to come play in their dungeon of mass destruction?

Joining Gaia is free, and it only takes a few clicks. Do it!

Transgender, Gaia Online player, who has a level 45 Rancor Mage, It is being presented with the Tutti-frutti Killstreak award.

With all the gay fantasy content and anti-God anime displayed, they tempt you child to click on the sign up button by saying there is tons of games to play and it is all “Free”. This is just like the ass assassin kid lover, who buys a ice cream truck, offers children “Free” ice cream and than lures them into the back of their van for a afternoon rompus on some fresh baby bait. The click free button is the lollipop to trap you kid into world of endless sugar plummed twiddle rompus violating.

Create your own style with thousands of avatar items, from clothes and accessories to hairstyles, pets, weapons and anything else you can imagine.

Weapons?!?!? Why in the world would kids need to play dress up and play with weapons? Are they trying to create some form of cross dressing, fashion forward, vampire gay army? Also, anything I can imagine? Does this mean an Atheist could have a golden spear with Our Lord Saviors head on it? Does this mean sick and twisted 4chan users could have t-shirts of tentacle Asian naughty photos on them?

ZOMG "Pimp Avatar" orgy party.

Kids are taught to sell drugs during daily chance games, where they play a game called “ZOMG”. In this game they try to sell as many drugs to rainbow fairies and than create a “Pimp Avatar” to host a devil wizard induced, roguish beef-whipping drug orgy. Players come to the party and pay “Gaia Gold” to the pimp avatar to attend the festivities. The word “ZOMG”, stands for “Zombie Orgy Money Game” and these are the types of moral dysfunctions being planted into the minds of young Gaia members.

Kids are also tricked into doing online dating surveys, in where they put in their age, physical description and photo and in return they are granted limited time chance “uber” items. These surveys are directly sent to N.A.M.B.L.A. mailing list database, where members can scout and scour the list of players to see if any prey lives within a Meagan’s law distance away from them.

Players are also convinced to post on forums where they spend late hours talking to fickle masturbating, pedophilic international predators, who dwell in Communist Mexican states like, Cuban and Brazil. For every post the player leaves, they are rewarded with more Gaia Gold and also open up their IP addresses for these sweaty field workers to find out where they live.

The only good thing I can say about this game, is the lack of chocolate exposure.

Different Types of Gaias

Making the avatar is teaching kids how to use cosmetic surgery to mutalate themselves into a different sex and to plaster make and tattoos all over their body. Each avatar always comes out looking like something you would find in Lady Gaga’s toilet after a defecation session, with glitter sprinkled all over it. It might come out sparkly and artistic, but it still smells of homosexuality and vile demonic stench. This game screams “Turn my daughter into Chaz Bono” or “Sew up my daughter’s canker-blossom and slap a plastic twiddle dalus on her”.

Below are the most common Gaia Avatar styles.

Futuristic Sex Toy Pirate

Cross Dressing Emosexual

Hermaphroditic Reptile

Concubine Commie

Gay-sha Girl

Intergalactic Cracker Coke Canned Dealer

Cyber Sex Princess

Gaia Lingo

Avi – This is the file format that Gaia players use to record their sex adventures in Gaia Online. Other players will go around the forums and chat rooms asking for “Avi” and they get bombarded with personal messages and IM’s with bit.ly download links.

GD – General Dungeon is the part of the forum that is dedicated to sex role playing. Most thread titles are cleaver, so that a kids will curiously click on them and be sucked into a digital interracial butt busting foreplay. Some of the thread titles will be something like, “Candy Apple Cinnamon”, “Pony Rides and Magic” or even “Milk and Berries”.

Elitist – A player who voted for Obama.

PURE- Someone who plays a minimum of 20 hours a day.

Slagga/knoppa – This is a word used during “ZOMG” parties. This word is used if a user’s parent or spouse walks in the room. If the user types “Slagga” or “Knoppa” into the “ZOMG” chat window, the pimp player will know to blank out the user’s screen. It is like a safe word used when two homosexuals are torturing each other.

Gaia Leet Speaking or 13375p34k

AFAIK: Another Freak Anal Encounter Killstreak
ATM: Avatar to Mouth
AYT: A Yummy Taint
BTW: Bi-sexual to Women
HAND: Have Any Naughty Drugs
HTH: Homosexual to Homosexual
IANAL: I-ANAL (Short for I need anal)
IMHO: I’m a Homo
NHOH: New Homo Ogy Here
TAM: Tonging A Man

How would you like it if your son of daughter became the full time sex slave to a Cuban pot dealing lord, who forces them to call him “poppy”, while they perform unprotected mouth sex acts on his sin snake? Well, if you keep letting your children play these types of fantasy games, it is only a matter of time before they are hoping on South West Airlines and landing in Satan’s pony adventure of double dipped sin. If you don’t want this happening, you need to remove any band widths access to the internet from your child’s iBook Air Mac and make sure they are not able to still any neighbor’s why-fi connect. They may hate you for not being able to log onto their Satanic digital world, but remember that kids don’t understand a parent’s love until they have kids of their own. Yes, that means if you choice to deny God by not having kids, you are a sinner.

LSU Football Players Decide to do Pot Instead of Win at Life

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LSU Football PlayersRemember the THREE Ds – DOPE DESTROYS DREAMS

According to reports by ESPN, 3 of LSU football players decided that getting high on the pot was more productive than winning a National Football Championship.

Following in the footsteps of professional players, the LSU football players have allowed a night of pot doing and partying get in the way of their own success. (I’m assuming these players are of sin skin color)

After falling a standard player drug test, reports say that all 3 lsu players have been suspended for an unspecified period of time, and the suspension will include LSU’s game with Auburn. So LSU will play the former National Championship Auburn team without the potheads Tyrann Mathieu, Tharold Simon, & Spencer Ware.

If our kids keep following the footsteps of gang banging hipped hopped artists and violent sports players, we will lose them in the musky scent of sin.

Does Maroon 5 Have Moves Like Satan?

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What is a Maroon 5?

Maroon 5 is a sex pop rock band from the heathen capital of the world, Los Angeles. The band started while they were in high school and was led by the now infamous, Adam Levine. Adam recruited some of his boy’s room pot smoking buddies, Jesse Carmichael, Mickey Madden, Ryan Dusick to form their first attempt of a band and called it Kara’s Flowers, which referred to the first virginity that Adam removed from a young freshman named Kara. After 1997 they re-formed the band and added another one of their drug filled orgy party buddies, James Valentine, and pursued a new form of sex pop punk under the name Maroon 5. Rising to success without any real work, it is believed that Adam Levine sold his soul to the devil and was able to turn their first released album into a mega hit.

So what does their name mean? Does it have something to do with Adam’s blood pact with Satan? Should the name strike fear into the hearts of all God fearing Americans? Yes. Remember, maroon is Satan’s favorite color and is also the color of the monthly secreting ooze that discharges from a woman’s baby door and is the same color of Satan’s favorite medical procedure, the abortion of a full of life fetus. Satan drools with pleasure when a baby is forcefully removed from the female’s incubator and goes into a masturbatory frenzy every time. So, we can gather the word “Maroon” in their name refers to the act of pre-meditated abortion and we know for a fact that the “5” means that the five members of the band support the notion that women should get pregnant, only to partake in a baby homicide to gain popularity from their family and friends via sympathy. At the same time, due to Adam’s contract with Satan, he agreed to force as many woman as possible to commit this atrocious act so Satan could collect more souls to power his fire pit of agony.

Also, let us not forget the fact they have played at every Coachella Fest and Electric Daisy Carnival, where they pollute your children with their sex fueled music, intoxicating them with thoughts of interracial sex and ecstasy use. Every time this band plays are one of the rave parties, they turn it into their own movie entitled “Night if the living Fornicators”.

Who is Adam Lavin?

This siren of Satan, is not the only pop rocker in his family. He is the brother of early 2000’s emo pop star, Avril Lavine. After seeing his sister’s failure at creating a music career, Adam gave his soul to Satan so he could become a famous rock star covered in musky sex sin and gluttonous amounts of money. In return Satan gave Adam the ability to use his voice and sex hip gyrations to swoon females into quick late night penetration games, as well granted Adam enough money to bask in until his soul is collected in 2054. This is also why Adam is the only famous member of the band. No one really knows or cares about the other band members, as they are just props in Adam’s and Satan’s plan to spread back stage sex and fetal abortions across the world. The whole band revolves around Adam, as he is the piper and his band members are the rats who follow his sweet serenade of demonic plague.

Adam’s main goal is to cause a fornication outbreak among America and infiltrator the baby crevice of every woman, by convincing women to flag their souls with an abortion status. Adam’s trick is to use his moves and harpy voice to entice women with urges to be vandalized, get pregnant and than have them void the growing life force within them. He refers to this move as a “F*** and Suck”, which means he wants the woman to have sexual acts and than have their baby sucked out of them by Satan’s hoover of death.

Besides being eye candy for homosexuals, teenage girls and spreading fetus in Planned Parenthood alleyways, Adam has teamed up with long time girlfriend and illegal alien Christina “Krispy Kreme” Aguilera, to release a new song praising his own reign of terror. The song is called “Moves Like Jagger” and talks about how he uses body pulsations and penile gyrations like Mick Jagger to tempt women into his bed of future fetal denigration.

Charts

You Might Be Ghetto If You're Black

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Let me start off by saying I love my sin skinned brothers, but the sad truth is, if you are a black, you might be living a unhealthy ghetto lifestyle that is destined to become a part of some news channel criminal report or be on Maury Povich trying to find a babies daddy or trying to disprove your responsibly as a father via a DNA test. No matter which it is, the path looks grim and unproductive.

That current statistics don’t lie about how many blacks decide to follow the path of Ghettoism and it shows that 87% of blacks fall into the “Ghetto” category. Good thing the people here at Christwire love all of God’s creations and we have made a list of items to help you find out if you be black or you be Ghetto black.

How To Tell If Your Are A Normal Black or Ghetto Black

Do you sell rocked crack coked cane to pay for your baby mother’s milk formula.

Normal blacks get income by one of two ways, welfare or minimum wage jobs. A ghetto black is far too lazy to wait in line for a bi-weekly check, or to work a full 8 hours to make some honest money. To even get up before 11am for work is the number 1 reason why blacks will not develop skills to work a normal job. Ghetto blacks make their “bling” by “slinging” low grade drug candy to young black youth in projects and white “homies” in suburban areas. A typical drug thug can make a good living, compared to average black living standards, but this is also why the black community is slowly losing its moral fibers.

If you eat KFC instead of Boston Market

Call me a racist if you want to hide yourself from the truth, but I can ask any black folk I see when they are washing my car if they likes themselves some chickens and nine out of ten will say “Yes”. Now out of the ones I tip, are the ones with a nicer smile and cleaner nails. I noticed also when asked where they buy their fried chicken from, the more clean cut and proper spoken ones say “Boston Market”. This tells me that they most likely live in a low-mid or high-low class neighborhood, where a Boston Market would actually place one of their fine establishments. The lazier ones, who always miss spots on my windshield and always forget to scent my car with cappuccino spray, all have one thing in common, they all love KFC, Churches Chicken or some other low end chicken fast food chain. Also, you will always see a KFC no matter how impoverished the community is. This tells me that only the ghetto blacks think a KFC is a fine dinning experience.

Spend your welfare money on hair weaves and grotesque fingernail Designs

I know you felt safe when we said before that non-ghettos live on welfare, but like everything, there are exceptions to the rules that you might fall guilty of. If your find yourself or you find your wife dabbling into the government bi-weekly funds to do up her hair in multi-colors weaves of fake hair or pays $200 on vomit like designs on her four inch finger nails, you might have a growing ghetto crisis forming in your home. It is a known fact that some black kids have starved to death due to their mother’s obsession with fake diamond encrusted nails surrounded by colors of neon and gold. Some women have even gone to stores to return baby food to get the extra cash for a new hair style.

Lack of proper English

It is not a secret that blacks have a vocabulary that lacks around 10,000 words compared to their white and lighter sin colored skinned global brothers. Also, it is a known fact that blacks get 4th rate educations in America, but this is not an excuse to use curse words and degrading name calling when conversing with one another. If you find yourself having to use vulgar words to have everyday conversations with your mother, wife, husband, children or grandparents, you are speaking in ghettonise and is a direct sign that you live in a ghetto world of profanity and 2nd grade communication skills. Another sign, is if you say words and leave the last letter out or change the last letter to an “A” or even add an “S” to the end of words that are not plural. Examples are “Wha?”, “Fo’ Sho'”, “Yea”, “Whatcha”, “Yo”, “Chickens”, “Fo’ Reals”, “Tru that!”. These are a vert few of the many ghetto stained English words and phrases.

Selena Gomez's Mexican Sin Treats Have Grown Too Plump for American Television

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If you ask me, I don’t trust anything that can speak two languages and get free tuition. To be honest, I don’t know what rock this little brown piña colada of sin crawled out of, or which Mexican state she slept her way through to get to America. But, I do know that she is causing boys to stay up late at night and be tempted to fondle themselves while browsing Google images from search results like “Sex Mex Gomez” and “Mexican Selena Candy”. From Disney to double D exposed jalapeño flavored milk crates, she prances around in an overdose of whorish couture fashions, making young boys around American have urges to whack their demon rods until they produce forced sin marinated juices. This lil piñata of sex, can easily cause your child to burn a gigabite of band widths purely surfing for these free Chalupa platter pictorials she scatters around blogspot and tumblr websites.

If you browse your child’s web history and find links containing this combination whorrito, let your children know you are the digital La Migra and you are exporting this hacienda hussie back to beanville, faster than they can say “California Dream Act.” If you do not take action, your son will be locked into a lusty labyrinth of Mexican skinned fantasies and be overloaded with nocturnal emissions. Your daughters will be taught how to properly flash their sin bags in a none classy way and learn how to pop out seven kids before the age of seventeen and live on welfare. Miss Gomez’s sour creme dream is to wrap America into a tightly wound taquito of sin and gluttonous amounts of Mexican sex juices and taint our youth with her Shakira style hips and sin-sational, pouty lipped sex poses.

Here is an example of one of her tweets promoting the idea for girls to sneak out of their homes and partake in a night of sultry orgies and interracial naughty dances.

She also uses Twitter to promote a tween night club style show that she created on Disney. This show, Shake It Up, teaches young kids how to do black ghetto butt shakes and Satanic toe tapping body gyrations. Millions of pre-agers are square dancing with the devil in your living rooms, while caller Gomez shouts out which next dirt movement she wants to teach your children. No wonder teen pregnancy is on the rise with such sexual movements being taught at a young age.

Besides hosting free images on Google and posting subliminal naughtiness on Tweeter, how does Selena saturate your children with Satanic taco sauce? She uses an underground photo sharing service called “Twatpic” and uses a Tweeter API to spread the millions of skin filled images across the internet highway. With this service, Selena is able to publish “leaked” photos of her plump milk sacs or even images of her and boyfriend, Justin Bieber, nude on the beach.

Christwire's 13 Worst New Bands of the New Millenium

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1. Black Veil Brides

Black Veal Brides are yet another emo pop band to be spawned from the evil loins of Ohio. Just like Devil Wears Prada, and Falling On Reverse before them. The band, if you can call it that, was created by Andrew Beersack (vocals), Johnny Harold (guitar), and Phil Sinadella (bass) in Delhi, Ohio. They were all young emosexuals that were dating satanic wiccans, where they met at a coven blood letting sacrifice. While not being bleed by the witches the discussed they’re appreciation for the demonic band KISS. Read more


2. New Found Glory AKA Never Follow God

Just when you thought Shakira was the most dangerous threat to your daughter, we found a “Emo-Trip-Pop-Punk” band called New Found Glory, or as their numb minded female followers call them, “NFG” (which also stands for “Never Follow God”), New Found Glory was just their “parent friendly” name.
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3. Foster The People

Foster the People is an emo pop punk band from Canada who have illegally crossed the borders into Los Angeles to spread their Peter Pan, homo induced diddies. Their music is full of electro BPMs that any drugged out welfare living hipster could tap their $300 shoe covered toes to.
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4. The Drums

Masquerading in drug cut Doo Wap hairstyles that a San Francisco street whore transgenetic wouldn’t be caught dead fashioning, a new age of homosexual hipsters are flooding the shorelines of America with tantalizing guitar riffs of anal tingles and gaudy digital BMP drum beats of homosexuality. Armed with pawn shop instruments and dancing like a pot smoking induced Michael J Fox, a new band called “The Drums” has hijacked the Beach Boys and turned them into a mess of musky man sweat and dark alleyway rub and tugs. Bands like these need to realized the only thing good that came out of the 80′s was Reagan and the end of Communist Russia, not faggy feathered locks of Morrissey haircuts and toe tapping hopscotch dancing, with a mix of flailing homosexual hand gestures.
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5. My Chemical Romance

Glenn Beck labeled the My Chemical Romance’s music as Propaganda after it appeared on the TV show Glee. Glee is about a homosexual woman teacher that leads a group of singing high school students. They often sing popular songs from the devil’s repertoire of modern pop artists. This show is very popular with teens and young homosexual adults. The show itself is seen by many groups as a recruiting tool of the liberal homogay agenda. Mr. Beck acknowledged the act of the homogay agenda using My Chemical Romances music to recruit into the teen emosexual subgroup. As this group is already well in danger of permanent soul loss to the devil, Mr. Beck had to speak up. As usual the response from emos and MCR was hollow threats of violence and a mighty round of “F**k You’s“.
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6. Ke$ha

There is only one person in the world that would make Mary Kate and Ashley’s drug problems look like a happy morning episode of “Jesus and Friends” and that Satanic spunk of whorness is no other than ghetto rap, slut demon Ke$ha. This woman is covered in Satan nectar and radiates promiscuous interracial sex from her vodka and crystal meth clogged pores. The harlot of whorness, also spreads her “alternative lifestyle” like a African outbreak with with lyrics in her music. This music is played all over radio shows like Ryan Seacreast and other gay hosted top 40 stations.
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7. Blood on the Dancefloor

Any attempts to accurately describe how nauseously blasphemous this Blood on the Dance Floor music is will fail, for it simply redefines evil in America. Their beats are stolen from black rapping in the most lazy of ways, as if tuned to the sound of that policeman beating on Dahvie’s door. Their abuse of rhyme and meter is such a crime it’s surprising that other members of the pop rock community have not stepped in to shut them down. Dahvie’s singing itself is not singing, but rather that grating and pretentious type of “loud speaking” that you might hear in a brawl between mealy-mouthed drunks. It has that childish affectation of a white suburban hipster mimicking the black people he has seen on Law & Order with its “Yo yo yo!” and “Whaddup!” type of speak, shouted in rhythms that never rise above the complexity of “Ba Ba Black Sheep.” Maybe this is coincidental, as the man himself still acts like a child. Or maybe it’s intentional, as the allegations of child rape continue to pile up against him.
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8. Cobra Starship

Sex, drugs and muscle relaxant saturated Hi-C fruit drinks would be the quickest way to describe this sex filled glazed eyed, acid laced cigarette smoking, freak show of a band. This band is nothing more than a black plague of hipsters, who dress in neon colored jump suits and raver meth glasses.
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9. Blink 182

Blink-182 is an emo pop punk band consisting of three bi-sexual southern California natives. You have vocalist and bass guitarist Mark Hipphoppus, vocalist and guitarist Thomas DeLonge, and gluttonously tattooed drummer Travis Baker. They have mind raped and brainwashed a slue of young teenagers with their over 27 million albums worldwide since forming in the upper white class city of Poway, California in 1992. That means their album sells have destroyed more souls than Hitler could ever do. With original drummer Scott Raynor, who left the band after Mark and Tom started to push homosexual messages in their music, they released their debut album Cheshire Cat in 1994 and followed-up with a more raunchy and gay driven album, 1997′s Dude’s Ranch, which sold around a million copies. Raynor was replaced by Baker during their 1998 tour, due to the fact the band wanted a more “Hot Topic” like marketing look to their band.
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10. Lady Antebellum

As a result of this newfound popularity, many parents are now taking a closer look at Lady Antebellum and wondering if their message is appropriate for today’s teens. Of particular concern is singer Charles Kelley. The other members of this trio are delightful and impressively edifying as role models for children. Beautiful lead singer Hillary Scott is perky and wholesome, as should be expected of a woman from Tennessee. Her voice soars to inspiring heights one moment and then lulls us to depths of introspection the next. In their videos, Hillary is outfitted in delicately-printed cotton dresses that billow between her legs as she reclines into bales of hay, the sun stroking her expanses of innocent, smooth skin. Keyboardist Dave Haywood, surely the moral compass of this group, is always close by like a playful, younger sibling. He is the handsome, all-American boy with his plaid shirts and adorable vests. Seeing him on that piano bench is just truly heartwarming. There is a yearning innocence to his eyes. One imagines him walking down a farm road in his Levi jeans with the fresh country air tickling the nape of his neck, as he smiles that full-lipped smile that betrays the remarkable virility that makes him saunter so.
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11. Falling in Reverse

It seems that the lead singer, a Ms. Ronnie Radke. was a young transgendered bi-sexual that was previously in the band Escape the Fate, which you have probably never heard of either. In the mid 2000′s Radke was living the hard life of a low level rock star, living it up with sex, drugs, and rock & Roll. That is if you can call this trash Rock & Roll. At night he would sing his songs on stage and then have fornicative sex orgies. Like most emosexuals it did not matter what he stuck his sin stick in, man woman child or beast, it didn’t matter to him as his drug fueled rage made him oblivious to the wrongs that he was committing.
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12. Cake

Show me a NYU student who doesn’t know who Cake is and I will show your a heterosexual Lady Gaga fan. Cake is a college targeted band that is highly heterosexuality motivated and cover rainbow kissed sound waves throughout the American campuses. First invading colleges, high schools and middle schools, within their hometown of “Sac” a “man “toe in the early 90′s, Cake has become one of the biggest underground, unknown named bands among the 11 to 25 age range or also known as the “Mtv” demographic. Also we must remind you that the average age of the band members is 43. This band is full of no name, talentless musicians that try to copy The Phish sound but also incorporate Mexican trumpet loops over dubstep techno beats.
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13. 30 Seconds to Mars

To an unaware parent, 30 Seconds to Mars is a pop grunge band who is lead by 80′s teen heart throb Jerad Lettoe. But if you ask any gay man in the back alley of a S&M gay bar, he will tell you it is the the name of the most homo erotic fetish known to the homo gay underground. This band is killing the innocents of children with their sinful rainbow gum drops of emo ruckus.
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How to Spot A Hipstersexual

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Hipstersexual – Noun – Hip-stir-sex-you-all – A hipstersexual is a Parliament (P-funk) smoking rich kid who usually surfs the web using Google Chrome or the iMac version of Netscape, posting Photoshop’d images on their Tumblr accounts and tags their images with anti-capitalist comments and rant about how America is such a drag. A hipster will never blog without running it through the hipster online thesaurus to make their verbal library seem vast.

You can find hipstersexuals in any high income cities, where they try and act like they are poor, while mom and dad spend money on their 2 year trade school art degrees and their “white side of town” studio apartments.

These freak free loaders need to #occupyajobapplication

Typical Boy 1:Why is that homosexual kid wearing purple leggings, an aqua and Autumn brown scarf and smoking a pipe while he plays Gameboy?
Typical Boy 2:Oh, he is a hipstersexual.

The Drums – New Age Hipsters Making Gay Beach Boys Music

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Masquerading in drug cut Doo Wap hairstyles that a San Francisco street whore transgenetic wouldn’t be caught dead fashioning, a new age of homosexual hipsters are flooding the shorelines of America with tantalizing guitar riffs of anal tingles and gaudy digital BMP drum beats of homosexuality. Armed with pawn shop instruments and dancing like a pot smoking induced Michael J Fox, a new band called “The Drums” has hijacked the Beach Boys and turned them into a mess of musky man sweat and dark alleyway rub and tugs. Bands like these need to realized the only thing good that came out of the 80’s was Reagan and the end of Communist Russia, not faggy feathered locks of Morrissey haircuts and toe tapping hopscotch dancing, with a mix of flailing homosexual hand gestures.

Each member of this band looks like they have lollipop licked one too many skin sticks and you can tell by their eyes that they have a black street coked cane habit. Their music is a mixture of electro techno BPMs and scuttle shuffle guitar progressions and to be honest, I’ve heard more talent out of the voice from that little mentally challenged boy, Quarky, when he sung the theme song to his hit television series, Life Goes On.

The only thing worse than their overly autotuned vocals and off timing melodies, the band’s sense of dress is that of a skid row heroin addict. I mean who in their right mind wakes up in the morning and thinks to put on a sweater that they stole their grandfather and mix match it up with leg warmers and a Calvin Klein scarf? I’ll tell you who, little frolicking homosexuals screaming for attention, that’s who. Just like when a child puts on the wrong colored socks, these boys are begging for mother America to take their hand and clean them up.

In the video below you can see the band thought it would be funny to film themselves running from the police after they were caught having anal sin docking relations on the beach, while they sing their hit pop song “Let us god surfing.” This song, if you listen closely, talks about taking a girl down to the beach and force her to perform a mouth sex act on one’s flesh sword. After the female has been mauled with sexual poison, the song tells kids to tell the girl that they are a homosexual and that they just really want to go surfing on the waves of a mans rough caress and drown in aftershave kisses. You will even hear in the chorus that the lead singer puts in a subliminal message that says “Obama”.

If you want your son or daughter to ride Satan’s surfboard and catch a “sick” wave to his fiery beach bonfire, by all means let them put this band’s album on shuffle/repeat on their Zunes and let them get caught in the riptide of sin. So while you look through you child’s iTunes playlist looking for evil music to delete, please view the graph below and remember by removing this new sandy threat, you are taking action against your child from becoming a beach bum homosexual.

Gays Make New Gummy Worm to Infiltrate Your Son’s Rear Muscle

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“dual flavors, a ribbed body, and a five inch girth. It makes an amazing gift for now or later”

These are the tricky words of a marketing department swollen with the urge to tempt your children into suckling the tit of a homo gay lifestyle. Words like these only spew from the gay’s anus loving mouth in hopes to confusion your children into thinking that a sugar high snack isn’t a step into the direction of pure gaydom and sin. This is a perfect example of how the homo gay agenda uses “playful” propaganda to promote homosexuality to your children via yummy treats and sugary sweets.

Let us not be ignorant and naive and pretend this ribbed gummy worm does not look like something that is sugar plummed with anal sin and that this does not look like a toy that twiddle rompus worshipers wouldn’t use to sin dock their open and willing partners sewer hole. Let us not deny that this treat of terror is inserting nuggets of homosexual behavior into the minds of our young men.

The gay’s plan is to get your sons comfortable with playing and caressing toys or food that are shaped like a homosexuals favorite pleasure chest toy and hope by the time your sons come to age (usually 12), the gays will be able to fully convert them over to a homosexual with little resistance.

Look at the marketing video and you can see the eyes of Satan piercing are into the hearts of unaware viewers. Look at the homo-erotic faces each “actor” expresses when playing or even sucking on the “worm”. How can anyone tell me this video isn’t smothered with the maple syrup of homosexuality?

Seth Green’s Losing Battle with Homosexuality and Pot Filled Dreams of Fictitious Glory

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Who is Seth Green?
For those who are smart enough not to turn on any prime time or cable television, you are blessed to never have the images of this drugged out ginger midget blasted onto your TV screen. Anything Seth has been apart of screams fecal comedy or homosexual ass play. There is nothing entertaining or humorous about any project that has involved Mr. Green as an actor, writer or fluffer.

Seth uses poor comical tactics to poke fun at the American fibers and smothers his viewers with the pillow of homosexuality and drugs. Being born and raised in a section of Philadelphia that is well known for its high crime rate and street drug problems, no wonder Green has grown into the vengeful and angry lil’ deviant against America morals that he is today.

Liberal and Smutty Cartoon Creations

Family Guy
Family Guy is a adult smut cartoon that involves a over weight moron who is married to a red headed and soulless liberal. Green created this show purely to make fun of the American household. You see the fat husband is suppose to represent Green’s ideas of Americans, fat, lazy and stupid and to top it off he names this man “Peter”, which is also gay code for “Phallus”. So not only is he calling us unproductive members of society, he is also comparing us to a male’s naught zone.

Now on the other side of this bias cartoon, you have the pseudo intellectual wife, who has to take care of Peter because he is too stupid to do every day actions. This woman’s name is “Lois” and it is Green’s way of pushing a liberal agenda onto people without having his socialist cards being shown. He makes it seem that American’s will die if Lois (Obama Socialism) doesn’t take over and care for us.

Robot Chicken
The only adults who still play with toys or dolls are rapist and serial killers, so take your pick on which one Seth Green is. See, Robot Chicken is Seth’s way of smoking pot and making funny 10 second skits with his childhood dolls. The sad thing is he actually gets paid for this, but the money is quickly spent on cheap hookers and copious amounts of the pot. The skits aren’t more than 10 seconds long, because it would require some sort of talent to write a whole 30 minute television show and this talent is something Green lacks. Not to mention that fact that all his fans have the attention span of a coke queen. If you are entertained by Voltron having anal sex with a panda bear or Ninja Turtles having a full onslaught of sexual penetration on helpless Care Bears, than this show is for you.

Homosexuality
Without even having to go too in-depth with my undeniable proof, I can prove Green’s homosexuality purely on the fact that his Buffy show in now featured on the world’s only 100% gay network, Logo. Also, as you can see in the photo to the left of the screen, Green and former Buffy co-star, David Boreanaz, are engaged in a tight homosexual embrace, topped off with a sweet kiss and whisper of sexual fantasies to the ears. Green’s whole career while on Buffy, was to give gay viewers a vulnerable and twink like character to lube and tug their sin sticks to, while they have erotic thoughts of sin docking Seth in some basement underneath a leather bar dance floor.

Drug Use
It is a well known fact that Seth Green is an avid user or “the dope” and can get his hands on the freshest jive Tahoe nose snow within the matter of minutes. When Seth can’t get his hands on devil dust, he makes a quick trip to Venice, where he grabs himself a few pounds of Mexican grown purple kush. Once high on the pot, Seth has been known to become violent and this has been shown on the HBO reality show “Entourage”, where he gets marijuana raged and insults a fellow actor and ends up getting punched in the face for his off collared remarks.

You can also spot Green’s hardcore devotion to drugs just by looking at his West Hollywood style bed head and unshaven ginger beard. We all known pot users have no care for personal looks and hygiene and this is evident in Green’s carelessness towards basic self maintenance.

Failed Movies
The first sign of a true low life is the failure of their goals and Seth Green has a lexicon of failures. Maybe if he could spend more than 10 minutes from being high or dazed in fantasies of men dipping their candy sacs onto his twinkish jaw line, Green might be able to produce something Christian worthy. His rap sheet of movies show a report card of failure after failure, with a GPA of give up and try something else you loser. A zero point zero success means only one thing, you don’t have talent and you have to give backstage Chinese massage handies to the producer in hopes to get a supporting role on some teen party movie.

Seth, give up and stop violating America’s soft skin with your razor burn of filth. My suggestion is to join some Mexican midget wrestling league and go make an ass of yourself in a country that is already full of poor hygiene and failures.

Do Your Children “Fred Figglehorn”?

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Let us get to the direct point of this post. Fred Figglehorn is a fictional character created purely for homosexual tween smut films. Each episode tantalizes and tickles the taint of homosexual men across the globe in a fecal frenzy of pedophile urges. The man who plays Fred is not a 12 year old, but a 22 year old twink who runs around acting like a light footed fairy, just like a hyper homo after taking ecstasy pills up the rear tunnel muscle. Glistening with soft boyish, SkidID clear skin and lustful locks of puberty, Fred plays into every homosexuals fantasy of “Lost puppy, ignorant neighborhood kid”. His high pitch voice is auto tuned to hide his man voice and give his adult views the idea that he is a young boy.

This show is not meant for children to watch and can be highly dangerous to their heterosexuality. If your child is running around like a $4 crack whore, who has been up for 3 days, they are most likely subscribed to Fred’s adult content YouTube channel. You need to immediately click the “unsubscribe” and rid your child’s account of this filthy gutter smut. For ever view this man gets by a underage subscriber is one more dollar being sent to Satan’s bank account of Pedophile Exchange and Man Boy Union.

Besides the bombardment of homo erotic being displayed in 1080p, this show also promotes mothers taking up a drug or alcohol addiction. Fred is constantly talking about how his mother is a cock whore and how she walks the streets at night until the early morning, selling her body for cheap thrills in hopes of scoring a rock of devil dust. If America’s young girls see this lifestyle being promoted on YouTube and see that the views of each video are high, they will think they can get famous by becoming dirty French, $4 a handy street walkers.

Fred Figglehorn Name Breakdown:

Fred – Fred is by far the most common name in the homosexual world. Fred Mercury, flaming rock star gay. Fred Astaire, fancy dancing gay. Fred is also a acronym for Frequent Read End Driller.

Figgle – Figgle is a term used in the gay community to describe the jerking of their swizzle stick in a violent and hateful motion.

Horn – As in “horny” or a reference to the shape of a man’s skin twinkie.

Conclusion – Fred Figglehorn is a subliminal message for gay men to demon whack their Satan scepters in a violent act, while watching gay Fred’s videos.

Fred at a homosexual, cos-play event. Notice how happy the two ADULT homosexuals are to touch the YouTube boy toy.

Let us see what members of The Fellowship think about Fred:

Margot Shentish
"Shows like this are the direct cause for child homosexuality"		 Dwanye Miller
"I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life. This show is dangerous to the heterosexual community."		 Gunther Davis
"I was able to connect to the characther, until I found out he was gay"

Michael Jackson’s Dead Body

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These photos were used as evidence in the trial against Michael Jackson’s doctor, Dr. Conrad Murray. Jackson’s doctor is convicted of involuntary manslaughter for providing and injecting Michael with a prescription drug called propofol . In the June 24 photo, you can see Michael performing one of his dance music songs during a rehearsal for his “last” tour.

Nevermind That Kurt Cobain Was a Psychotic Drug Addict Pedophile

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20 years ago the world was engulfed in a swarm of body odor stained flannel and unwashed long hair. From that sea of bad hygiene arose the “grunge” scene and the leader of this new wave of talent-less guitar playing and off timing drum bashing, was a band by the name “Nirvana”. Nirvana smashed into the currently fixed post Reagan world and started to pick at the fibers of America’s youth with their unmoral music.

If Satan was the manager of a boy band, it would be Nirvana. Leading this band was the soft boyish faced devil by the name of Kurt Cobain. This man was most likely the first main stream hipster and emosexual, with his custom made, over priced thrift store looking outfits and women’s glasses. This man craved so much attention that he killed himself, which is known now as “The Bang Heard Around the World” and he was later given the name “Kurt Gobang”. Even having a child of his own, fame and attention was much more important to this failed at life rock star, that he took his own life in hopes to be the most popular suicide rock star in the world.

The thing I find most humorous is the fact Cobain’s main reason for killing himself was because of fame. Well my weak minded, headless friend, if you didn’t want fame, you shouldn’t of signed your soul over to the evil record companies. If you didn’t want women falling over you, you shouldn’t of had so many Calvin Klein styled masturbatory images taken of yourself. In a way Kurt used a weak excuse on why he was too lazy to deal with his personal problems and his embarrassing love for kiddie nudity. Oh, you don’t think he dabbled his sin staff in underage imagery of naked newborns? Than why was their most popular cover that of a fleshly exposed babies twiddle rompus? This was Kurt’s way of letting people know he had a sick and twisted problem. How do you think he thought up the name for the band? Kurt has been reported to call his pre-tween self demon whacking sessions to put him in a spiritual Nirvana, as he drifted into a euphoric climax. Now remember, the Atheists and Liberals will jump on and point fingers anyone who is religious that is accused of kiddie fondle touching, but how dare anyone say anything about a socialist man who actions screams “ice cream” van driver or lost puppy flyer poster.

During the bands uprising in popularity, so did Kurt’s fancy for cross dressing and heroin dipped meth balls. Kurt was not able to even get on stage and perform is simple to strum songs unless his blood was flowing with narcotics and booze. I think this is the only thing he had in common with his whore tarnished wife, Courtney “No-one-wants-to” Love. As his dependency on street sprinkles, his writing turned into songs that promoted kids to cuddle inside Satan’s anal womb and to snort eight-balls of powdered sin candy.

To prove this man’s music was not that of some muse inspired genius, take any emo kid with a guitar and internet access and I can guarantee they will learn the band’s discography in an afternoon. Now, take that same degenerate, put them in front of a piano and tell them to play Beethoven, they will look at you with a complex and constipated like face. They won’t be able to get over the fact that the song requires more than four notes and requires years of musical training to perfect. Unlike Kurt’s music, they more tainted it is with talent-less guitarmanship, the “better” it is suppose to sound.

So after 20 years why do non-identity having people praise this marble mouth, pedophile as some musical genius, when his songs are that of three cords and his lyrics have no poetic substance? It is because liberal America praises anything anti-American and anti-Christian. If is just like how the son will go off to rebel and have gay sex with his college roommate, just to upset his parents. The child doesn’t want to engage in a sin docking rumpus, but deals with the painful back muscle-hole intrusion, just to defy his father’s heart. The youth is rebelling by pretending they find this druggies music to be inspiring and insightful.

Even though this son of terror and his golden locks of demon fibers is good and gone, his spirit still lives in the music of form drum player, Dave Grohl, who now leads the band Food Fighters.

Don’t worry my friends, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Nirvana may have sold 25 million copies of their hate filled albums, but the Bible still wins as it has sold over 6 trillion copies. Looks like Jesus is still the more popular “rock star”.

Cake – Making Music or Making Homosexual Druggies?

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What is Cake?

Show me a NYU student who doesn’t know who Cake is and I will show your a heterosexual Lady Gaga fan. Cake is a college targeted band that is highly heterosexuality motivated and cover rainbow kissed sound waves throughout the American campuses. First invading colleges, high schools and middle schools, within their hometown of “Sac” a “man “toe in the early 90’s, Cake has become one of the biggest underground, unknown named bands among the 11 to 25 age range or also known as the “Mtv” demographic. Also we must remind you that the average age of the band members is 43. This band is full of no name, talentless musicians that try to copy The Phish sound but also incorporate Mexican trumpet loops over dubstep techno beats.

After their popular post punk pop song “Short Skirt Long Jack”, the band has been laughing their gay bump rumps off all the way to the bank. Since then, they have been caking their crumbs of sinful copulation with song titles like, “Shadow Stabbing”, “Racecar Ya-Yas” and “Mr. Mastodon Farm”, which are all songs which promote a tingling techno invasion of homo erotic lyrics and Satanic sassafras.

So who leads this band of disgruntled middle aged Mariachi funksters? Well, if hipsters had a homosexual idol it would be the band’s leader singer, John McCrea, who can be seen dressed as a butt bucking cowboy or dirty bathroom romping ass bandit trucker. He almost looks like a white version of Fidel Castro.

What Does Their Name Mean?

You can’t spell the band’s name without the phrase “homosexual delicacies”. The band is actually two acronyms of terror and trash. There acronyms are “Catering Anal Karate Enticements” and to their underground fan club, they are known as “Cannibals, Atheists & Klan, Excitements”.

The name pretty much means they want you children to take a bit out of a sweet and fluffy piece of homosexual cake and to fill their veins with sugary gayness.

Does Their Music Have a Homosexual Agenda?

To start off and prove our claims on homosexual brain washing, we need to look no further than their song “Stickshifts and Safety-belts”, which is a song about wanting men to go the distance with dangerous homosexual analingus play.

Let us do a play by play on some of their albums. I was going to give an analysis on each one, but the context is so grim and full of profanity, that I worry our site would be shut down for vulgar language.

Fashion Nugget

A fashion nugget is the gay underground term for what is called “fisting”. “Fisting” is when one male takes his whole hand and reverse defecates it up another man’s sewer hole. This act creates a “milked orgasmic” effect onto the brutally assaulted homosexual.

Prolonging the Magic

“Prolonging the Magic” is another term the gays use in reference to their Satanic sex doors. Just like the ravers, Cake fans enjoy a long night of ecstasy tripping and from previous reports, we all know that ravers and gays take drugs anally. It has been said that by shoving a pill of happy candy up the sin chute, that not only does the drug “kick” in faster, but it also “prolongs the magic” or in civil society terms, “makes the drug last longer.”

Pressure Chief

We all know devil DNA is created when a male performs a self sexing act or when homosexuals have sex or even when a hetero couple has sex before they are married. We know that the devil juice explodes from the tip of the twiddle rompus once the proper amount of pressure has been reached to cause demonic climax. Well in the gay porn world, there is a job position called the “pressure chief” and their job is to demon whack the gay adult stars sin muscle to keep them fully aroused before ever scene. This “chief” makes sure the stars are at any given time full of pressure and ready to hurl gay diseased goo, when the director yells “action!”

Cake Statistics

All in all, Christians go to Heaven and Cake will dive head first into hell with their goatee male taint tickle facial hair lead singer. We tried to find something that would prove us wrong, but everything we searched Bing or Hotbot, it was never there. All we could find was more and more proof that the rectal muscle cavern adventurers love to push a gay agenda onto our children.

Homo Gay Agenda Wants Babies to Wear Thongs

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While you would think that the sickness in homosexuals couldn’t get any worse, it has. Our shadow walking phallic stuffers have dug their Old Spice scented, manicured hands deeper into the Hanna Barbera underwear of America’s youth. Even against popular science, homosexuals do not have a age limit when it comes to their victims. The Homo Gay agenda is trying to create a flash mob of gayness inside the urine protectors of your toddlers and newborns.

Just like when I warned parents of The Gay’s attempt to use toys to anally rape your children during poopy time, The Gays are now using waste products to attack your children with fondling feely fingers in the shape of thong diapers. These new diapers fit to the baby in the form of a thong, you know the kind of underwear that gets soiled by moist Satanic juices when a cheap whore like Ke$ha or Oliva Munn get finished performing a mouth sin act on a Hollywood executive.

Marvel Uses Aborted Fetus To Promote New Movie

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A few years back I reported on the fact that Marvel was promoting The Homo Gay Agenda by making a Wolverine doll that taught young boys how to perform a mouth sex act on an adult homosexual. This is nothing compared to Marvel’s latest stunt to promote their newest movie coming out in the summer of 2012. You would think with the billions of dollars Marvel has, they would use flashy TV commercials or hire brainless whores to dress up as slutty super heroes at comic parties, shaking their milk sacs in the faces of pimp infested nerds. Instead Marvel has dug themselves into a new ditch of soulless debauchery and I feel they have dug so deep that they have opened a hole directly to hell.

This past week their marketing campaign was released and what was shown would make a liberal or communists taint tickle with pro-baby murder climatic arousal. Marvel took aborted babies and painted them like the featured characters in their up and coming movie and displayed them in jars, so they could float and look like the super heroes where in a incubation state, waiting to be born. How sick do you have to be to take a lifeless, forced killed baby and display them in circus freak-like manner in hopes to increase ticket sales to a movie.

It has been reported that Marvel paid Planned Parenthood $35 per fetus and also promised special effects and marketing credits to them in their movie. In return Planned Parenthood would make sure that Marvel is deliver only freshest of kills and to make sure that each fetus has the same weight and length. Once the bodies are received at the Marvel marketing headquarters, the babies are cleaned and sent to the art department for painting. Once painted the never given a chance at life children are dumped into a clear less square container, which is than filled up with a liquid to make sure the look like the are suspended in mid air.

Next thing you know, your children will be trying to get knocked up so they can line up behind Planned Parenthood begging to be vacuumed so their unformed baby can have a chance of being the next Aqua Man or Batman marketing centerpiece.